Friends making me feel excluded...

[sadgurl]

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum. I have a very uncomfortable situation and I need some advice.

 

I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years now and just recently his ex-girl friend has come back into the picture. She has started to hang out with his friends and now.. she comes along whenever we all go out. The friends deliberate exclude me and make me feel unwanted. It is extremely stressful when we all go out and I'm afraid they are doing this on purpose. They are good friends of my boyfriend and I know that she will be around from now on. How do I get through these awkward situations? Should I stop going out with them.. which would mean that my BF will be out with her.. and his friends without me.. OR should I go along and feel hurt and uncomfortable.. and excluded?

 

I am confused. Please help.

 

 

[misscitygrl]

ouch ..that rough

 

I don't suggest u stay home... u r his girl and have been for 5 years and his friends are going to have to accept it... and she is too ...u have to make ur presense known and felt...

 

Mention it to ur bf...after 5 yrs i'm sure u guys should be able to discuss this openly .... but be calm & tactful when doing so...

 

Tell ur bf that u feel excluded when u all hang out, (beware not to attack his friends though). explain to him that this combined with her presense makes u feel uncomfortable... and see what he says... maybe all u need is his reassurance...

 

If he reassures u .... trust him... after 5 yrs u owe it to him, urself and the relationship (unless he was less than 100% faithful b4).

 

If u can try to be friends with his friends.... if u can't beat them ...join em...

Also try to bring some of ur friends along too... they will help u feel more comfortable and less lonely.... if u have a friend who is a good pp person ...she can help u make friends with ur bf's friends... whatever u do try to have a good time... don't let them ruin ur evening with ur bf...remember u r there for ur bf not for them.

 

Be confident & stay calm. Don't hide or stay home... u shouldn't have to.

 

But 1st talk to ur bf and take it from there.

[simply complicated]

get rid of them, except for your boyfriend, if you trust him, you won't have to worry about him being around his ex girl, if he truly loves you, he'll understand why you don't want to be around them and will do what he can to help the situation. Don't ever put yourself in a situation where your gonna be feeling this way, if it happens once, don't let it happen again, just forget about it, you don't need them.

[sadgurl]

I appreciate both of your comments. I have talked to my BF on several occasions and in the end, he says he loves me. He says he can't do anything about his friends and the way they treat me. As for her, I am trying my best to not feel bad about her being around but it's hard. My friends tell me to be-friend her but I don't know if I can. But I suppose in this case, that's the only option because I know she's not going away.

 

If I forget about the friends then I know my relationship with my BF will get worse. He loves his friends and at times.. maybe more than he loves me. To take that away from him is bad. For me not to get along with hisfriends is bad. So I'm stuck. =(