well theres this girl...*confusion*

[J_Rocc]

Okay, so there is this girl at work that is pretty hot, many guys at work fancy her. I have caught her looking at me a couple of times, and we make eye contact with each other very often. But the thing is, shes already got a bf. So if shes got a bf then how come she would be giving me signals like such. And seeing as though she is already taken, that would mean that i wouldn't be able to actually do anything about it. Right?

 

So what is up with that. She's got a bf but seems interested in me. How should i approach this situation?

[Johnny_has]

But it's heaps easier to chat up girls at work then say.... in nightclubs or bars. Wouldn't it just seem really corny if a complete stranger came up to a girl in a bar or shopping center and said "hello my name is.....". That approach just seems weird. I mean girls that have came up and chatted to me have NEVER introduced themselves like that. They don't really introduce themselves they just make small talk with you. Same goes for guys.

[restlesschld]

I have to agree with SwingFox on this one, I think starting relationships at work can end two ways, really really good, or really really bad. But like Johnny says, it is easier to talk to her because you have the common bond, but thats not actually what the problem is, she's in a realtionship already, and if she is looking at you, she finds you attractive, and then theres two things she could be doing:

 

Wondering if you are worth dumping her current for you (which is good)

 

Or just liking the fact you are showing her attention, which sometimes women do, to feel attractive. (which is bad)

 

Tread lightly my friend. Very lightly. And if something does happen, I'd say try and keep the work relationship and romantic relationship separate. Thats the only way it might work.

 

Good luck!

[Turboz]

Hi

 

Well the eye contact is a giveaway that she at least likes you.

 

Problem is though most women are dedicated to their relationships if they are in one.

 

You should just observe and see what happens with her bf. They may break up sometime. If that happens, leave it 2 weeks and then move in on her.

 

It also depends on how strong the eye contact is. If it's regular and very deep strong eye contact she likes you. If it's just casual flippent eye contact then don't read to much into it.

 

You'll know if it's deep eye contact - Your instinct will tell you about it. I was after a woman a few months ago who made very strong eye contact with me - so strong and deep I felt intimidated to a certain degree. My instincts told me it was a good sign and that she was interested but my mind told me that it was impossible because she is older than me and quite a star (singer). If only I had moved in on her I think I could have achevied a relationship with her right then.

 

AS for your situation I can only suggest you monitor the bf problem. If he goes and the eye contact continues then move in on her. Don't just become friends with her though - Thats where it gets difficult as most friends don't want to risk their friendship if something goes wrong. If you aren't friends then there is nothing to loose but something to gain!

 

Keep your distance until she becomes single: Then make your move.

[Johnny_has]

Yeah but Turboz you think it's really just strong eye contact, I mean there's this girl I like and I know she's got a boyfriend and she just stares. I mean I have read before that if they like you they quickly look away when they see you looking back at them. They don't just keep on staring. I myself always look away when girls look at me because I don't want to appear rude.

[J_Rocc]

oh ok, so theres two factors that i have to take into consideration with this girl. One, she's already got a bf and Two, we both work at the same place.

 

So really, what do i do about this. I know that i should be very careful about this, but what? I haven't actually spoken to her before, I smiled at her once when i caught her looking at me and she quickly looked away. One of my mates told me i could try and take her off her bf but i'm not too sure if i should do that.

 

Argh! what to do, what to do. I don't think that she will break up with her bf if i don't talk to her, keeping in mind we haven't spoken and aren't really friends. So the only way i can go about getting her is to talk to her and let her see i am better than him? What do you guys think?

[Turboz]

Johnny_bas: Yeah I kinda forgot to mention the looking away bit. It's not really the best of things to encourage someone - "Yeah she'll look at you but avoid eye contact after 1 second". Most people could take that the wrong way.

 

My personal advice is do not try to step onto another mans terrotory. If she is spoken for then leave it be. Do not go after her with the hope she will break it off in favour of you. As I said, keep your distance and wait to see if they split. If they do move in on her quick.

 

Otherwise forget it. I know it's hard (believe me I know about hard to forget) but you shouldn't dwell on it. Nor should you try to become friends to try and win her over. If you are friends and it goes wrong you lose a friend. If you are not friends and you make a move then you have nothing to loose but a woman to gain - Make sense?

 

That and the fact that women don't always like friends to go further than friends...

 

Hang in there

-Turboz

[Chan209]

I'd step back and don't step into that other guy's territory.

 

If she has a boyfriend right now and is willing to flirt with you, how do you know she wouldn't do the same to other guys if you were her boyfriend?