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im 100% gay, but recently i feel really unnormal. how did i end up being attracted to the same gender? i hear being gay is normal, but NOT everyone is gay, so how is it normal? plus people tell me there's no such thing as gay gene, so whats wrong with me? is there something wrong with my mind? im a questioning situation here. please help.


im sorry if i disrespect anyone, i didn't mean too.

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Hey. First up, i'd like 2 welcome u 2 enotalone on behalf of everyone. I'm sure u've taken a nice step towards finding support and advice from many ppl of various ages from around the world which will be around for a while.


Being gay..well yea sexuality sure is changing and everyone's open 2 being gay now. The questions I got for u are: Are you really gay? I mean ur totally not attracted to girls and never fantasize about them? u could b bi... Are you happy being gay?


Sometimes i reckon ppl being gay isn't like a real thing. I feel that its more of an insecurity of some sort. Like u have bad luck gettin chicks so u just give up and hook up wif guy ppl coz its easier? It's easier 2 b around guys?


I'm sorry if i've offended u in anyway, i'm not gay and never have so i don't completely understand ur situation. But from what i can see, either b happy wif ur sexuality or do something about it.


Happy Heb

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Excuse me...but, "do something about it?" What exactly is he/she supposed to do? Snap his/her fingers, pray to God (hah!), force him/herself to go out with the opposite sex to 'be sure"?


Come on! Let me suggest something to you...are you sure your heterosexual? Maybe you should go out with someone of the same sex "just to be sure". Exactly, yick!!!


Is being Gay normal? Well, depends who you're talking too... If your talking with a bunch of bible thumpers, no...if you're talking to someone openminded and accepting that the good Lord has created us all differently and respects those differences, then yes. My point?


"Gay" being normal is an "eye of the beholder" thing. The REAL question is "Is Gay natural?" And, yes, I can assure you that being gay is very natural and very 'normal'.


Is it a gene? Is it a malformation of the brain? No one really knows, and who quite frankly cares? It is WHO you are. And how wonderful and perfect you are...gay and all.


Accept who you are and be proud of it (I'm not suggesting being out or outspoken, unless this is WHO you are and what you need to be). JUST BE YOURSELF. And if youself is gay, be happy to be blessed enough to be part of that group of wonderful people!!!


Educate yourself, learn about yourself and love yourself!!!

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music brings a point BUT being gay is a lot different than being strait and dont give me all the reasons its not because most people are strait. I think that he should just step back and ask himself is he really gay. it is interesting heb would say it is an insecurity of some sort, I have noticed that quite a few gays arnt happy being gay. I wonder if he does fantisize about women, not like it is a bad thing to do LoL. Just make sure you are happy w\ your sexuality. why would a guy who is happy being strait date another guy? but a guy who is unsure if he is gay or not might wanna feel around a little bit to make sure.

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I respect your point of view. But I think you misunderstand the concept...


Discovering your sexuality, whether gay or straight, are EXACTLY the same...you just are! Its not a decision you make!! Did you wake up one day and say..."hey, I think I'll be heterosexual rather than gay, there's a good idea..." - of course not!


TRUST ME...I have NEVER known ANY person who woke up one day and was like..."hmm, I think I'll be gay today...granted people will alienate me and people will make fun of me...and oh, yeah, maybe if I'm lucky some stupid drunk guys will jump me and beat me some night when I'm walking home because I'm wearing a rainbow...yeah, that sounds good"!!!


Can you blame this person for having insecurities? They have grown up with you and your kind telling them that they are wrong and bad and they are just "confused". Please!! They guy said he's "100% gay" where is the confusion in that????


Yes, being gay and being straight are very different...and coming to the realization is very different, I agree with that. But that's because of the stigma attached to being gay, not the reality of being gay itself!


...try this one on...


What if being Male was stigmatized? What if you woke up one day and surprise, you were a guy (this sudden realization rarely happens, but remember children often don't become aware of their sexuality until later...). But being male is seen as one of the worst things you could ever be!!! So, now you have to make a choice...either be who you are and love yourself, penis and all, or dress like a girl, hide your manliness, etc. I know this is sort of far-fetched and weird, but the concept is the same!


There are lots of people who try to AVOID admitting their homosexuality - because of the stigma. They hid it from their friends, their family and often try to ignore it themselves...these people often go so far as to marry and have children...but many times those marriages and families are doomed because eventually, those people grow up and learn to ACCEPT themselves and realize that being gay is NOT in fact the worst thing they could be...they could be unhappy instead and that is worse.


Oh...and I hate to break it to you...but "Most people are strait" is NOT true. Heterosexuality is most accepted and thereforeeee most obvious...but there are A LOT more homosexuals out there than you might be willing to admit to yourself.


Saying that is like saying that "most people are white"...perhaps in your splice of America. But I suggest you go visit China or Japan and Africa or hey, closer to home...Puerto Rico, the Bronx, Harlem, etc., etc. "Most people" is relative...try getting out there and meeting some folks who are not exactly what you are and you will be SURPRISED at how grand and exciting the world is!

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am still wondering if we choose our own sexual identity or if we become our sexual identity. If we could choose, then why not have everyone be 'gay"? That would be normal, for a while, because when most people are young they don't want to get married and have children right away, so why not be gay, if we actually have a choice?


Then as we become more settled in a work or life role, then we could choose what is right for us. Instead of having people watch our every move to try and gage what we may be thinking or imagining--why is a stigma put on those who choose to have sex with their own gender, everyone thinks of doing so occasionally, everyone has gay fantasies, everyone knows someone of their own sex who turns them on, so why don't we act on this?


Is it that the bible says that it is wrong, or does it just seem wrong on some personal level to want to have sex with a person of your own gender? So why do we seek out these same gender partners as friends? If we are truly a homophobic society, then we should be consistent and look down upon same gender friends as well--who knows what your wife or girlfriend is out doing when she is partying with her friends, could that not be considered cheating on some level?


I am a female and I prefer to have male friends, does that make me gay? I like to have the intensity of the conversations that men give and women don't -- does that make me some sort of deviant?


In the eighties, it seemed like more people were "coming out" before the AIDS epidemic started, now it seems that men need to pretend to be more "Macho" and women more feminine, do others feel that this is true?

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  • 2 weeks later...

hey.. firstly you need to accept yourself, dont listen to anyone elses small minded comments about being unnormal. not everyone is Straight either, just look at the marti gra for example 1000's of people are just like you! there are so many tv shows on now of gay people society is learning 2 accept, it may be slow but its better than it was say 30 or so years ago. i have a homophobic stepfather and i am bisexual and im a girl.. he always judges me and puts down other gay men and women around me but i lift my head up high push the tears away and think i am better than you for i can accept.. not only myself but everyone around me. hmm im only 18 yrs old so i dont kno much.. but i know that you are normal! and to find yourself and accept who u are. nothing is wrong with ur mind at all.

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