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tell what i already know

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i got involved with a coworker in december during the holidays. it's a complicated situation, but the gist of it is we had a big fight in mid-january, and my friend hasn't really spoken to me since. luckily, i left the job at the end of january, so i no longer have to see her everyday. i've tried apologizing; i've tried flowers; i've tried everything...still no conversation. this really bothers me because i believe we can't move forward, as friends or as anything else, until the issue is resolved. she has said she's sorry about what happened and misses our friendship, but i don't want to pretend to be "friends" with this issue hanging over our heads. i should tell you that she hasn't been involved with anyone since her child was born eight years ago. and to further complicate matters, i started getting close to her son...she's mentioned that he misses me. so, the kid misses me and wonders why i haven't been around, so i took him to the movies a few weeks ago. we had a good time as always, but i felt like one of those divorced weekend parents when i saw his mom...we barely spoke. she claims she can't see me because i have what she calls a "rage problem," yet she trusts me completely with her son. she even asked me to take him to school the other day. i'm beginning to think she's the one with the rage problem since she can't seem to talk about her feelings, and she's been really mean to me, in that self-righteous way of feeling justified in being mean. and because of that..we don't have a relationship of any kind anymore. i stopped trying to talk to her about us, and i don't call her. i miss our friendship, and i miss our intimacy, but i don't think i should make any more efforts to heal this situation since she doesn't seem to want to participate. i even question whether i should see her son, since he's old enough to know that something is not well between me and his mother. i care about this woman, but i've had it with her silent treatment. but, it's driving me nuts not to talk to her, and i still want her in my life. any advice...besides "let it go?" i've heard that so many times it has lost all meaning.

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  • 1 month later...

it's a hopeless situation because your friend doesn't want to, or can't particpate. she has disengaged, for whatever reason, and i suggest you do the same. it's a no win situation and your friends are right: let it go.

if she comes back, perhaps you two can heal and be friends, but you've done more than enough...leave it, her son, and her alone. peace.

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