HELP!!!Should I tell him how I feel?

[Cassidy]

About 2 months I moved to the states. When I first started my job I met JOrdan ( lets call him so ). We had this instant connections.It just clicked right away from the moment we introduced each other and the girl who trained me had no chance doing that anymore as he took right over and gave no one else a chance to. JOrdan was also kinda new as he moved here from another state like 4 month ago. When he told me that he was going to church every saturday night I was kinda surprised cos he didnt looked like it. So he invited me the next saurday to come with him. Ever since then we go together to church and also spend a lot of time together experiencing the City and surroundings.WE have a lot in commen characterwise and also what we like, dislike and how we see our future, what is important to us and so on... This all matches perfectly.. WE celebarted christmas together at friends and exchanged christmas presents. WE also almost wrote the same stuff on our christmas cards which where very deep thoughts about each other and our friendship.Coworkers are already wondering if there is something going on.. cos at work we are constantly together.Even the other day we were in this store and the cashier said to us that we look good together. ( By the way not the first time we were told so ) Also we do flirt with each other.There si just one thing.. he is a student and has little time as he is very serious about it.We both have been hurt very badly in prior relationships and we are both not into dating. WE both want a real relationship with future. He only says that he is happy single at the moment and that he needs to be best friend with his future girlfriend.. as how can you be in a relationship but not being best friends with your partner. This is exactly how I feel as well...Now is my problem that I have fallen for him completely and I dont know how I should tell him as I am scared that it might have a negative impact on our friendship.. I value his friendship and he is really important to me as a friend.

Can someone please help me out here?? I really need some good advise!!!

Thanks

[Guy]

I personally think you should let him know your interested in him in more than just a friend. Let him know you arent wanting to take up all his time or become really serious right away. by the way things seem it looks like you guys are on the same level. You will never know if you dont ask so I say go for it.

[jasmin]

as for my experience.. You should tell him the truth on how you feel about him. So then you wouldnt be wasting your time with him as to wait for him or not. As you mentioned, he is happy being single at the moment and it means that he still doesnt know who he wants to end up with. Basically he wants to keep his options open by being just friends and when he finds the right girl among the female friends that he has made then he would decide to be in a relationship. As you can see here, it's ok for him to be friends but he just doesnt realise that he'll hurt the other party along the way. Like yourself, you've already fallen for him.. altho both of you are just friends am i right?? Im sure you would be jealous if you see him out with other female friends. Well, i was once in similar situation like yours but mine is too complicated. Although this guy and me are just friends, we did things that couple do but then he decided to remain friends so i just accepted it cos i didnt want to lose him as i started to have feelings for him already. This guy once told me that he wants to keep his options open by having lots of female friends so then he would know who to choose for his future girlfriends. As for that moment, he told me he's not sure who he's gonna end up with just yet. I was thinking that maybe i still got chances to be with him if i stay friends. But all was a mistake.. almost 10 months we're in a friendship, he started seeing other girl.. and she was none other than my own cousin! He thinks that it was ok for him seeing my cousin as me and him are just friends but to me we're 'technically' a couple after doing things that couple do.

 

I told him about my feelings towards him cos he's the one that started to make me fall for him. He led me on without him realised. Then he told me he knows how i feel towards him and yet he still go out seeing others. As for him since we are just friends..it's not wrong for him to do that. I was really hurt of what he did to me although we are friends, i dont mind if he's out with other girl but to see him with my own cousin hurts more. It is very awkward for me as my parents and uncles know him already but he still kept seeing my cousin. And as for my cousin she also insists on seeing him cos she knows that me and him are just friends. So to make the story short, i ended the 'friend' thing with him cos i couldnt bare to see myself get hurt anymore. If i stay friends with him, he would think that im ok with him seeing with my cousin. So better to end the friendship earlier the better cos you'll never know that it might not be you he ends up with and that would hurt a lot. So its his loss to lose me this way and my cousin who is so stubborn without considering my awkward situation also lost me cos she chose to be with him. Now I dont ever want to see both of them again. Im moving on with my life..

 

Anyway, just wanted to say that it's better to think wisely about wanting to stay friends with him or not as you've already has feelings for him. Cos i know ur guy friend just wouldnt make up his mind yet on who to choose for his future girlfriend. I know you're hoping to end up with him in the furture but i dont think he would think that you're the right one for him just yet. And i bet you dont want to end up being hurt along his process of being just in a friendship and looking for his future relationship. I hope i can help you with my saying and experience.. good luck..