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About Me

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  1. is it possible to lose 10-15lbs in one month? if so...how would you go about doing this? which foods would you recommended to stay full without the extra calories?
  2. let me start of by saying im not fat but not skinny either. i want to be skinny. im aboud 5'5 and i weight 160. last month i excersied 5 days out of the week and went down to 155 and i would just stop losing weight. i would keep exercising--longer-harder-more--but i just wouldnt lose anymore weight. and since school started i went back to 160. and i dont gain or lose weight. i just stay there. what the **** do i do? am i doing something wrong? is my body just not cooperation? because i want to be at 140.
  3. Since my sophomore year in college, I've been very self-conscious about my weight. At the end of my sophomore year I weight 220lbs (I'm 5'11" by the way) I decided to do something about it, and work my butt off and dropped down to 172...less than what I weighed in high-school. Since then, I've been on a weight loss rollercoaster. Going from about 205lbs to 200lbs (I'm at 199 lbs right now). I would kill myself at the gym, eat fairly well, but not seem to lose weight. It was kind of a bummer. At least my clothes fit okay, so I stopped really worrying about it. Well last night I had a bit of good news. During a personal training session we did a body fat percentage analysis. My guess was that I was going to be in the 20-23% body fat area. When I first moved back to Seattle, I was 24% at about 205lbs. The meansurement said I was 15% body fat (we used the electrical resistance measurement). I couldn't believe it, I was so freaking happy. I guess the bulk of my weight comes from being muscular, which is good, but I am carrying around a lot of weight, which will take it's toll on my joints later. The bad thing is that I carry a lot of my fat on my face and around my waist. I know it's true of many guys, but because I already have "chipmunk cheeks" having excess fat makes me look fatter than I really am. According to the measurement, I'm at the high end of being "Fit" close to being "Athletic" in terms of body fat. Anyway I just wanted to share this for the people who are out there killing themselves at the gym and not seeing drops in their weight. Weight isn't a good measurement of health!
  4. before i joined cross country i was atleast 145 lbs. since then, it has dropped to 130. this is nowhere near healthy for my height (6'3"), and needs to be fixed. problem is, i've been having trouble gaining weight for almost my entire life! i have a high metabolism, and it's obvious that cross country is going to burn a lot more calories than the norm. i haven't confronted my coach about this, but only because i just learned about my condition after school. what should i do?
  5. the story I thought I was a stronger person. My bf of a year and half broke things off 9 days ago. I barely eat(lost 7 pounds already) and I don't sleep well. I cry at the drop of a hat. I try to keep myself busy, but I have no motivative for anything. I feel like I'm slipping into a deep depression. I really have no answers as to why he just walked away from everything we had. This haunts me. I haven't contacted him recently, because I'm afraid of being rejected and I want to be strong. Some words of encouragement would be appreciated...
  6. Hi, I have a friend that is in some serious trouble and would greatly apreciate some advice...so let's start : - she went from 119 pounds to 84 pounds last time she checked about a week ago...and lost 7 pounds in 1 day from 91 to 84 this thursday - she has chest pains almost every day and sometime attacks...like 2 days ago she had 2 seizures within a few hours, lasting about 10-15 minutes, which consisted of stabbing-like pains on her left side, heart pounding really fast, major trouble breathing...had to lie down and couldn't move or talk loud even for a while after the attacks - she is constantly tired, sometimes cna't walk right, and she is doing alot of phisical work around the house I keep telling her to go to the doc ASAP but she's really reluctant...because she's in an abusive situation and is afraid to ask for "approval" to go see the doctor. My question is...what could be wrong with her, what assumptions can be made by those sympthoms? And please if you think she needs to go to the doctor's now say so and I'll show her this thread maybe it will convince her.
  7. I have made so many friends lately(good),I've lost weight(good),and lately i have been spiritually uplifted!(really good)all changes for the better,but I still feel like crap(emotionally) I feel like I'm missing half of me. I don't feel loved by anyone(I know jesus loves me,because the bible tells me so,but why don't I feel that love)(other than family,and I don't feel that loved by them either)no one to experience the good,the bad ,and the ugly. The first thing that comes to mind is my age,well quite frankly I do care! I don't feel loved.I'm a hollow being that can't find his way. How can i feel more loved and accepted by others more?
  8. The deal went through faster than he had expected He patted himself on the back Lower, he thought, low-wer, low-wer He was now touching his butt I need to lose weight, he thought Now, holding back tears he says it out loud "I need to lose weight"
  9. any suggestions on how to lose weight FAST and of course in a safe and healthy manner?
  10. I always kinda tease my bf about his weight, nothing major and not that often. But lately, I have resolved to lose weight, about fifteen pounds. I really would like him to try to lose weight too. But I don't think it interests him that much. He is overweight though, he's 5'9" and over 200 pounds for sure. I just want him to TRY to eat healthier, not even exercise, just eat healthy. When I told him that he said that he eats healthy cereal in the morning and that I'm not always around him when he eats. But when I go over to his place on the weekends, I see fresh pizza boxes and him and his brother eat a lot of canned stuff like ravioli and all that crap. He told me that he liked himself the way he was and why couldn't I like him that way too. I felt so bad for everything I said at that point. Truthfully, sometimes I'm not attracted to him at all because of his weight. But then I feel so shallow and I forget about it. I like him so much and the person he is. I don't care that much about his weight, but I don't want him to continue this unhealthy behaviour into an early grave. And I also want him to look good, not just get fatter and fatter because he really has no one to impress anymore. So maybe some advice on how to approach him would be helpful, without hurting his feelings too much.
  11. i was seventeen when i met my ex, he was fun, loving, the most ideal boyfriend that i could have wished for. at that time everything was going great. he lived around the corner from me so we would see each other frequently. four months into the relationship everything started to go downhill. the cracks began to show. i still hung on, hoping that we could talk this through. he treated me horribly, he humiliated me in front of his friends and made a joke out of me. looking back on that i know i should have walked but i was soo in love with him. this continued for another six months. i was beginning to lose weight and i was constantly hurt by him. he said he was sorry and when i got my exam results last year he took me out to celebrate. i got my unconditional offer at university in february of this year to do dentistry so that was something i had to look forward to. i still decided to stay the final year at school and get more grades in case i wanted to change course later on. i passed them too yay! he talked about his exes alot. he got with me 3 months after he dumped his ex and i was always compared to her which hurt me loads. i am a virgin and we both decided that i would lose my virginity on my 18th birthday...i was soo nervous and excited. little did i know he was still seeing his ex behind my back for 2 months and he was sleeping with her. he split up with me 2 weeks before my final exams in may of this year. he was saying he didnt feel right and that i wasnt spending enough time with him - i had bloody exams! that was an excuse for him to get back to his ex. i lost weight and i was vomitting a lot. i was soo scared i would fail my exams. he started calling me despite making it official a week later that he was back with his ex. i kept my phone switched off and used my brother's old phone to stay in touch with friends until my exams were over. after my final exam i switch my phone back on to find 42 missed calls and 17 txt messages - all from him. i turned 18 on 29th June and i went out with friends only to find him standing outside my doorstep when i arrived. i got soo annoyed. i thought enough was enough so i moved to Dundee to live with my uncle and aunt so i can get away from him, used the excuse to my parents that since i will be attending university there i want to get to know the place. despite being far away from him he still haunts me - the latest stunt of him screaming at me down the phone, asking for the name of that guy that i was talking to when i was too traumatised to talk to him cause i had crashed my uncle's car earlier that day. he didnt care and i feel sorry for his girlfriend. i am lucky that i got away from him but it seems like he is obssessed. he wont leave me alone even now. a part of me still loves him though and i feel soo angry.
  12. I'm eating again. I'll stop soon, but I'm so scared to lose weight. I don't want to feel vunerable, and I know I will. How am I supposed to handle that? If I was big when I was raped then I probably would have no problem losing weight. I'm not fat now, but still, I'm not the size I used to be. How do I get rid of this paranoid fear? When I get small I'll probably be thinking about getting raped 24/7 More men making passes, etc. I don't have a gun, I don't even know where my pocket knife is, how in the world am I suppose to feel able to protect myself. When I'm smaller, a person could pick me up and throw me if they wanted to..... I'm so scared. Part of me wants to be "normal" again, but part of me wants to stay my size, or maybe be a little bit bigger. I'm so scared guys, what should I do? P.S. I feel sick again
  13. Ok so im really nervous now im going to have gastric banding surgery im 20 years old n weigh 18 stones and am 5ft 9 really unhealthy so i tried gym n diets but now surgery is the last resort iv paid 6500 for it and im scared but im also looking forward to being me again. Anyone else had wieight loss surgery and whats it like emotionally?
  14. I just wanted to say I lost 25 pounds this summer through regular biking and cutting out all non-diet drinks. Now at a healthier 140 lbs (height 5' 5") It can be discouraging to watch other bikers, even joggers pass me by while I struggle to pedal up a small incline (have to get off and push it up any hills). People leaning out their cars and calling me a fag isn't fun either. Nor do I notice any real strength benefits from the exercising. But doing this has made me realize an important lesson: effort is what matters most. Why should I care about other people when I'm putting just as much willpower, maybe more, into what I do? If nothing else this can only make me a stronger person. I think this is an important key to dealing with my m.d.
  15. Hi I am 18, and I'm never sure of if I should be losing weight or not, because I'm so short I can't rely on the average weight , I'm 4,10 (147cm) and weigh 6 and a half stone, or 7 sometimes, varies.. do you think thats normal?
  16. Okay, long shot since no one ever replies to the poetry forum ... ___ Sage Francis - Bridle Maze broken She’s runnin’ Feet swollen He’s comin’ She’s stolen And before he even knows it she’s gone. Tea cups sittin’ on the hollow tree stumps He’s dumped, and can’t seem to swallow these lumps The beat goes on… Same fire New passion Old flame Trade it in for a summer fling There’s nothing like that sweet old song… Tip over Root the trees Bend the leaves Blend in with the open wound The freeze frames keep him warm… The day’s frost is scraped off the weight loss The new sign that says keep off As he speeds off into the storm… Out of spite the lighting strikes him twice He’s peaking out on the pike and cheatin life Peeling out on the lawn Now he’s idling And time is dwindling In his mind he’s figuring out life’s about the little things And his labyrinth And all his magnificent can only keep the mice trapped The princess is innocent She doesn’t belong… (I never thought I’d miss you) They had a ceremony where he put her in a bridle, the headstall… She stopped to think for a minute, and in a split second went AWOL. (I never thought I’d miss you) He draws in the chin as in a expression of resentment or scorn He’s pullin’ on the reigns, the bridle, the shower the storm The maze, the high tower, clouds are at war… The reigns, the bridle, the shower, the storm… The maze, high tower, clouds are at war The reigns, the bridle, the shower, the storm… The maze, the high tower, clouds are at war, clouds are at war, clouds are at war ____ Now I love the song, epic and very powerful, but I have no idea, exactly what it's about. It's obviously about a break up. But was it an abusive relationship? Or did she run away from marriage? Or am I completely missing the point? SK
  17. I've been trying to lose weight for a while now, and have finally fell into a consistent routine. I heard that if you lose weight gradually then you won't have excess skin? Is this true, will my skin shrink as I lose weight? I've lost about 30 pounds in the last two years, after going back and forth with excercise and diet. I want to lose 40 more pounds but I'm going to try and do it consistently, not going back and forth for a couple years. If I make it a goal to do this with in the next 5-6 months, is it too much too fast for my skin to keep up?
  18. I have recently gained a lot of weight...Does anyone know good suggetions of losing weight that isn't too stressful....I have access to a really good gym, but can't get past eating a lot of crap foods in large amounts...I think it has a lot to do with the amount of stress in my life and it's kind of a way to feel better, but now it's just making me feel worse and more self conscious than before...please help
  19. denzal


    ok there is this girl at college and i think she is so great i think she likes me too but i dont know and i am chronicly shy. give me advice heres some background info. Im in the same Computer class at college as her at first i couldnt talk to her i just couldnt do it then my friends became her friends and now we are good friends. ill walk into class and sit next to her if there is a free seat but i dont know if this is too forward/obvious sitting next to her whenever i get a chance i think she likesd me becoz she will come and sit next to me sometimes and when we are on the computers and she finds a good website or something to get my attention she puts her hand on mine (can be for quite along time) and when we are walking to the pub or sumthing she will just grab my arm (you know like they do at weddings arms linked an stuff) and today i realized that i may be in love with her but i dont know how she feels. we were sitting eating lunch and she said to me i cant lose weight, i dont know why she said it but i was thinking you dont need to lose weight u are gorgeous but i couldnt bring myself to say it. i was giving her a lift home and i was thinking of bringing up the weight thing by saying something like" you know earlier when u said u were fat etc i think your gorgoues and dont need to lose weight" and i was so close to sayiung it but i just couldnt and i dont know why??? anywayz we arrived at her house and she put her hand on my thigh and said thanx for the lift.... i dont know if she is just really friendly or what but she is not like that around the other guys in our class.... i dont know what to do thanx for any help/advice etc DenZal email removed
  20. So i'm like 20 yrs old and i am pretty big into working out and being healthy and all..but there's something that i don't get, and it pisses me off!! I work out A LOT. and i eat healthy for the most part, and I always have since high school. i'm just an athlete i suppose, but like 99% of girls in America I am not super happy w/ my weight. I mean my friends and everyone tells me that i look fine/normal but of course i don't see myself that way. I am pretty toned but i just can't seem to lose my GUT!!! Anywho, what makes me so mad is that like i see like ppl lose TONS of weight who are like a lot more overweight than i am, and i know that they dont work out as hard as i do. i don't mean to sound like a , but its just so frustrating. I just dont get it! why can't i lose weight like that? do i have to gain a ton of weight first????
  21. Hi everyone- I'm sure other people have had this same issue so I'm hoping to get some advice. Since my boyfriend broke up with me in early Dec I've lost about 15 pounds (6 pounds that first week). Although I am back to about what I normally weigh (I had had surgery in the summer and just hadn't gotten back into shape), I'm a skinny person and I am continuing to lose about 1-2 pounds a week. On the one hand I'm trying to force myself to eat as much as possible (which, of course, is difficult) and then on the other, I'm trying to be nice to myself and recognize that this has been a traumatic time and my body just needs time to adjust. Any advice? Any one get this same problem (or the opposite one)? Does it go away with time? I don't want to be a bobble head...and honestly, if I keep on losing weight and then run into my ex instead of looking fabulous I'll just look like I'm anorexic and as if I never got over the break up.
  22. I desperately need alcohol detox but I cannot afford it. At least I don't think so.. how much does it cost? I am drinking almost a fifth of vodka a day to keep withdrawal away; I don't get drunk, ever, nor hungover, but I don't eat or do anything productive, have lost 40 pounds and am suffering pancreatitis. I've been through detox before several times, and I think it was $4000+. I'm already in deep debt. It seems like checking out is a reasonable way to solve this recurrent problem, although I don't agree with it. Only those who have been this deep know how bad it is, and it is entirely my fault.
  23. Hey Guys!!! I was just watching this episode of dateline and.....well, it was about this rape that occurred. I just want to say THANK YOU GUYS SO VERY MUCH!!! I've just thought of the things I've been through and there has always been someone from this community to love and support me. And it means the world. Rape is always complicated, never clear or easy, and always hard to discuss. Whenever I've needed to vent, or cry, or scream, or comtimplated a new way of thinking, enotalone has been here for me. I mean, this is the best resource ever! Thank you guys! You've affected my life in only the most wonderful ways! @ -)----(------ ------- -------)----(- @ Okay, now I guess I'll talk about my feelings, LOL! Anywho, first of all, thinking about rape makes my head hurt. I can talk about the crazy emotions I have as a result of it........ But it's complicated. And sometimes the whole 'rape thing' gets old even for me. It's so exhausting. I don't know, it feels like the side-effects (aftermath) of rape is so long and drawn out. I just want to be happy, ya know. Why is happiness so hard to come by these days? I want things to be simple. I mean, I just want to lose weight. Why does everything tie into something else? I just want to be okay. It's like no matter what, I don't do what is necessary to lose weight! It's ridiculously crazy!!! I always thought that if you could acknowledge something you could change it. I've acknowledged that I have a phobia of being thin (check). I can acknowledge that I have no real incentive to lose weight (check). And last but not least I've acknowledge that I just simply need to lose weight (check). I want to like myself again. I want to stop being suicidal. I want so many things right? Part of me doesn't want to feel. I wish there was a magic pill that could make me feel all better. @ -)----(------ ------- -------)----(- @ Anywho, this lady went to the police after her rapist sent her an apology letter after the fact. I believe she did the right thing. I don't think I'll ever be in that situation, because I already reported it. I feel like I've left the punishment part in the hands of the law. I wouldn't want to go to court. I think that it would be too much to go to court. Personally I don't want to see him, or Ariel again. I don't know. I don't think I have that much of a problem with the rapist and his accomplice anymore (or maybe I'm in denial), I just have a problem with all of the emotions. I'm tired of being sad about it. I'm tired of being angry with myself. And I'm so angry with myself.....because I couldn't protect me. That's hurts more than anything.......more than being betrayed and set-up by a close friend, more than being raped............I can't believe I allowed this to happen to me. That I couldn't foresee or stop it. I can't seem to move past that. I mean........okay, maybe I should just admit that they were smarter than me. They were much smarter. They set me up, and I didn't have a clue. Maybe it's a fun game they like to play. Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves. Who know, they are childhood friends, they could have been doing it for years. But when did she decide to do it? I mean, she knows other people. Was it because I was close to her? Was it because I was just too easy a target? I mean, who would care if the side-effects weren't so horrible? I mean.........I don't know. When he raped me, it really really hurt. And then everything else. I mean it makes me head swim. There is absolutely no way I will ever be able to digest this, too much cruelty at once. And that's all that I walk away with. I walk away knowing that the world is full of cruelty and I can't understand it. @ -)----(------ ------- -------)----(- @ I'm confused. I'm soooooo confused. Okay, how can I live life when I am no longer blind to the fact that in an instant my life can be completely destroyed and I can do nothing about it. Then, I know God loves me, and I know man has free will (okay this is just a piece I'm trying to fit into everything else, I'm trying to find out where this belongs). Then I realize I was raped, I realize I was betrayed and set up by a friend. That is so clear right? Why do I feel confused about that. I can put all of the pieces together of before, during, and after the rape (aside from moments when I blacked out). Okay, that's okay in my mind. I guess that hardest thing is all of these disorders. I mean maybe the chronic post traumatic stress disorder is making things hard. Or the anxiety disorder, or the depression. I feel like I don't have my brain. I feel like things aren't in order. I have these crazy emotions and then a bunch of thoughts just floating around in my head. I guess I just want to connect the thoughts and the emotions. I just want to cry because I feel like, after the rape, my brain fell apart. And it seemed to get worse as time progressed. How long does post traumatic stress disorder last? I should look that up on the internet. I stopped taking my depression medication so that I could lose weight. My parents are glad, they've never liked me being on medicine. My mom believes that me not being on medicine shows my strength. I don't feel very strong so that made me feel better. Without the medicine, I feel. I feel more human. But with the medicine, my brain works better, I function much better. I'm not sure what to do. Why I am so sad? When does rape ever just go away?
  24. It's been 7 months since I broke up with my ex. I've been carrying on for those 7 months very well. The first month was hard but it got easier. We were together for 6 months, I ended it because I knew I couldn't be with her the rest of my life. I still think about some of the times we have together, but rarely. Things still remind me of her... songs, things I see, etc. I think about her maybe 1 time a day, sometimes twice... sometimes none. After I go through things like this I tend to feel the need to improve myself... a lot. I made a plan, I'd lose some weight, and work on improving myself. I keep myself motivated to lose weight by planning on going to this event I know she'll be at in June. I continue to use this event in my mind to try and make myself "better". I daydream about this upcoming day multiple times a week. I haven't had the oppurtunity of meeting anyone new yet. I know if I do I'll completely stop thinking about my ex. I just keep working on bettering myself so that one day I can... rub it in her face? I know it's mean, but it's like I want to say to her "Look what you could have had." Stupid question... Am I over her? Am I just psychologically replacing her with something else in my mind? Anybody have any ideas why I'm doing this? I think I have low self esteem, I really do. I shouldn't be doing this, but I look forward to rubbing it in her face so much. If I'm not doing something to improve myself I feel depressed. I'm 17, a senior in highschool. I'm not using my normal screenname because I'm ashamed of everything I'm feeling and asking.
  25. I'm 46 and have wanted braces all my life but put it off for financial reasons. Finally I had to have a baby tooth pulled and have an impacted permanent tooth that they are going to try and pull down. The process started with putting in spacers for a couple of weeks, then the back bands and a quad helix that sits near the roof of my mouth (have had for 2 months now), got the bottom braces about six weeks ago and the top braces 1 week ago. Basically my mouth hasn't felt good for about 3 months now. I have lost weight because I can only eat soft foods and give up about half way through most meals because it is too much of a chore. I am feeling very discouraged and can't imagine dealing with this for 2 1/2 years. Please, someone, tell that it does get better.
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