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About Me

  1. My best friend (23, F) of 3 years blocked me on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, and even Tiktok. Let’s call her Abby. Abby blocked my fiancé and our other best friend , Natalie, as well. This occurred a couple days ago on Tuesday night. However, I found out the next day when I tried to send her a message on Snapchat. And it stated I needed to add her, then her thread disappeared (indicating she blocked me). However, before I realized she blocked us, she sent our friend group chat a message apologizing for not replying back to us and that she had a horrible breakdown the night before. Including that she cut everyone off but that she was “back and good now.” My other friend (Natalie) and I replied back letting her know to not worry, take care, and that we loved her. But she never apologized or mentioned the reason for blocking us. Yesterday, she unblocked us and requested to follow us back, only on Snapchat and Instagram. I did notice she unblocked me on Twitter and Tiktok but didn’t try following me back. I assume maybe she doesn’t want me to see what she’s up too. *** this best friend of mine is my bridesmaid for my wedding that is coming up in August. She is starting to become depressed. I’ve noticed she tends to ignore and isolate her close friends when she is going through a tough time. However, this time it seems serious. It makes me feel like she doesn’t want to be my friend. I feel conflicted. I have given her space but it’s giving me doubts on whether or not I should have her in my wedding party. I want to be there for her and I do care for her but this is a lot for me. I’ve asked close family and friends for advice and they say that she may not be my true friend or showing her true colors because she blocked only her best friends but no one else on social media. what should I do?
  2. Together for 5 years engaged for 1.5 years and no matter what happened good, great or otherwise he never set a date or would let me set a date. We did pre-engagement counseling and 6 weeks of marriage counseling classes through church (required for the pastor to officiate the ceremony) and within last year did 7 months of coupleÂ’s counseling. During this time of intently working toward marriage we worked out a lot of major and minor details to support a healthy marriage, wanting kids, how to raise the kids, religon and church to go to, living arrangement and down to small exercises about who does laundry and who folds etc. Understanding things can be flexible, but the goal was to discover the small things that can cause issues in the first years of marriage and have them worked out. So we also set who'd handle finances and who'd handle house items etc. So we took marriage seriously mostly initiated by him because of him, but in the end I appreciated it and felt it would all help us in our marriage. We worked through some of his hang ups about marriage, but what we could never get past was his ideal that literally every concern he has about possible issues in a marriage be addressed before ever getting married. It was impossible. The couple's counselor a licensed physcologist who had been married for almost 20 years after hearing all ascertained that my fiance blow smalls things up into bigger issues than they are and told my fiance that basically you can't get a 100% guarantee on everything before marriage. There will be things, before and after that may need to be worked through you need make the commitment to marriage that will make the difference. For me the physiologist pointed out that I have a stronger personality than my fiance, I had to adjust my tone and how I speak during issues, mainly loud speaking. He also pointed out to my fiance everyone has different personalities so it's not a reason not to marry unless you determine that it's a dealbreaker. I'd been single for 5 years when I met my fiance and I was pretty open about my personality from the beginning. I knew it was strong, loud and passionate, but I have worked on adjusting and made improvements. I know because others have realized it. So I was not surprised when my fiance let it be known that my personality was not dealbreaker and he understands me. Instead he takes disagreements that we have and blow them up into marriage threatening issues. When he would not propose I told him that he was doing that, after we were engaged and having a professional psychologist witness it when he helped us work through one that happened while we were in counseling I have it confirmed that my fiance makes mountains out of molehills to become barriers to marriage. After 5 years of this I am tired, but felt like we could still move forward get married and have a committed relationship. So after almost 1.5 years and not date I got discouraged and thought that I didn't want to get married and deal with this anymore. We had some very bad life events happen with close family member and some other issue not related to the relationship that put a strain and while we pulled through for the most part and worked together as a couple there was an area where I felt he was there. I expressed that to him and instead of him addressing it he used it as a reason to distance himself to the point of him telling me he was going to call me back one day and never did for 3 weeks. I admit I was dealing with some insecurities with the engagement without a wedding date and also feeling like I had to push so hard for the engagement to happen and now feeling the same way to actually get married. I needed for us to talk every day after work. I made sure, but there would be days he'd not contact me all day including after his work whereas he use to. Out of frustration when he did it that last time I did not call him either. I'd expressed to him how it bothers me especially when I am dealing with us not being married and living together at least I need to for us to be in sync as if we are engaged to be married. So just like there would be an issue with him not coming home one night if married it's an issue if he does not call. I always get something like he was going to and fell asleep or did not feel well or he was going to call but I called first. So this time I was pissed and said since he always say he was going to call I said let's see and once again I was let down, he did not call. 3 weeks passed and while I'd broken up with him in my head, I called him and had the desire to repair. To my shock this man said he was going to call when his family that was visiting him left the NEXT MONTH. He felt that telling me when they asked for me and why I had not come to see them when they arrive he told them I was busy because he wanted to protect our relationship and that was proof that he was going to call. He also claims that while he did not call me had taken some steps toward us getting married two weeks before I called him. The whole situation bothered me because he then tried to make it seem like I'd been the one that had not contacted him for three weeks because I did not want to deal with the issues outside the relationship that was going on during that time. I disputed that and once I presented the detail he admitted he had not called because he was upset about my refusal to help him with looking something up on the internet that he asked me to and he questioned marrying me since I was supposed to be someone he would share his life with. So instead of discussing it with me he once again made it something to question us marrying and at something he admitted was small. At this point we are engaged for 1.5 years and this is seeming like this is why he refuses to set a wedding date. It confirmed that for me when he bought up an items we'd addressed in couple's counseling and was settled and he bought it up as if it was something that was recent issue. I told him nothing changed with how we both addressed it during couple's counseling so I did not know why he was bringing it back up as it was not settled. So he let that go. To shorten this I told him I as always I was willing to discuss the issue we had about what happened right before he stopped calling, but I did not feel it was something that we could not talk through and don't to feel like our getting married was being held hostage of over these talks. So I wanted to set a wedding date so we'd be talking through this understanding we have a commitment instead of feeling like he was determining if we should get married or not. Well the date we set to go the park to talk about setting the wedding date and plan he decided to tell he don't think we are meant to be together because I had not helped him look up the info on the internet. To give you the contrast that same month it happened we'd had so many things outside the relationship to deal with on both sides, including death of my family member, and I did not have to time to give all my focus to wedding and marriage. At that point I guess he was not use to that being my main focus he asked me do I want to still get married I said yes and he said ok he was thinking October, but never said more details or went on to discuss more specifics. It was consistent with the year before I'd suggested October even sat with him at the wedding venue and he would not pick a date. Eventually the reason he gave was he needed to save up more money. When the money became available he used it for something else. When he told me we were not meant to be together I knew it was because he knew there was no other way to avoid setting a wedding date and he'd come back later to say and do whatever to allow up keep going as engaged without setting a date of actually getting married. This was confirmed by his actions which I won't go into detail, but eventually after talking he once again came to me and said he doesn't want to lose me and wants to get married. By this time I my defenses were up and nothing but a committed date and action from him would bring them down. So I asked him when and was quiet so I told him he was dropping breadcrumbs and that's fine he can drop his breadcrumbs, but they won't do. He left. I sent him several articles about the effects of long engagements when both people don't agree on it also about when engagements happened a wedding date should be set or it can cause resentment. That was almost 3 weeks ago and I have not heard anything from him. I keep going from just letting it go and never speaking to him to formally contacting him to confirm we are done to waiting to see if he comes around which I will pick right back up at setting a wedding date. At this point I don't think I can ever contact him again if he does not reach out because there seems to be nowhere to go, I just will not remain stalled and seeming trying to prove to him we are okay to get married. It seems he will use absolutely anything as a barrier to getting married. It seemed that way about getting engaged, but eventually he proposed, but it just lead to going through the same thing with actually trying to get married. Would it be the same thing if we got married feeling like I have to pull drag and prove everything. Does it even matter now we have not spoken in 3 weeks? Do people actually end an enagagment by never speaking? What do I do? I feel like if I contact him it's just condoning the pattern and it's pointless because even thought he said he still wants to get married instead of setting a date he is okay with not speaking to me in 3 weeks? Was I pushing him into something he did not want to do? Should it be this hard?
  3. Hi, everyone ! sorry, my English isn't perfect but I hope you understand me! I studied in Austria for 3.5 years ,but I am from Moscow and wanted to move back later, because I never had a plan to live somewhere instead of my home town ( so you understand that this is about love and not about visas or anything else ). But I fell in love with Austrian so deep and we were together for 3.5 years, my whole study time . I never had such feelings he was my whole world .He is also a student but much more adult (mentally) than any other student in their 27( I thought so) . I have never experienced such understanding and acceptance and he has always said that I am "the love of his life". I never asked anything and was with him through all the most difficult times when he was in hospital due to kidney disease and when he had depression . When I graduated (was on media faculty) the lockdown started and everything was closed, in order to find a job for me, as for non EU citizen I should have find a job with at least 2600 euro salary also in the media field, + I would need work permition. Of course, it was hardly possible with Corona situation. But my bf promised me that he would never allow me to fly away from him, he wants children from me in the future and cannot live without me . I trusted him more than anyone else in the world and even when I was in Moscow ,I was looking for job so that I could pay for our apartment myself in the future and he could focus on his masters degree. And after 2 months of searching and distance, he asked the most important question: "will u marry me ?" … I was so happy . This of course would not mean that I would just sit and do nothing ,it was just a possibility to be together again and I would work and he would study. I already bought a dress and prepared documents and he was overjoyed too, it was his decision... And then suddenly he cancelled everything !!! He explained that it was all true, and he loves me but he is not ready and has to study (as a person I understand him, but as a woman, it broke my heart ). How can you first make a proposal and then just leave me when I've already canceled everything at home and have explained to my parents. I went through it and still stayed in touch with him every day because I just can't live without this person ... and I told him that I'm willing to wait for him for 2 years and then we can both work and until then we can be in distance relationship, and he was again so inconsistent "distance relationships" he doesn't want ,he doesn't want to get married either ,but he loves me and blah blah blah ... what is that please ?? I'm trying to explain it to myself with western mentality cause it is different and maybe it's impossible to imagine getting married for European after 3.5 years even if it's just paper and I'm not a helpless person who can't do anything alone ... I talked to my girlfriends and everyone said " it's not a man ,leave him he just doesn't want you ,it wasn't love etc ". Of course for me as a Russian ,when we're all a bit dramatic and are used to men fighting for us and doing everything for us ,it's hard to understand... But he's from other family background and I don't understand everything yet . I wanted to ask you is it really just mentality that he just doesn't feel ready until 35 and is rational and even love can't change his ideas . Or are all men the same and if he really loved me, he would never cancel everything ... Should I wait for him and hope that he is simply "lost" and support or does it simply mean "end of the story"??! It really hurts, I would do anything for him but just want to understand if it has any sense .. Thank you for the answers.
  4. Hello dear ones, Thou we don’t know each other, I’m grateful we have this very unbiased portal to share our thoughts. Here’s my story and I’ll try to make it short. I just got married to my amazing boyfriend 3 weeks ago at city hall of our country. It costed like $50 and that’s all. We went for dinner just the 2 of us that night to celebrate and that’s it. I’m glad we could blame the covid 19 situation for not being able to have the smallest get together with friends, the truth is we couldn’t afford it. I’m in my late 30’s. Have worked all my life to support my siblings and pay their university costs until they just graduated, which left me with no savings and as soon as they got out of my university, found jobs to support themselves; which we feel blessed about. My husband on the other hand has a simple job and is very underpaid thou he is such a smart guy logical educated and heart of gold. My business is struggling so he is the sole bread winner for now until I Can help him again. All this said, I always thought weddings can also mean wearing a ring but he clearly couldn’t afford it. He was married before and has a house with his ex wife (no kids) and when they divorced 2 years ago it isn’t still sure if she will pay him his share if she ever decides to sell it. They are great friends thank god. I still dream of the day I can wear a simple wedding dress, have a ring; is it wrong for me to think this way? I’ve always imagined it. I’m always very nice to my husband and he knows how I feel but poor guy isn’t able to do anything about it for the moment. How can I calm myself and stop thinking pity on myself and god forbid sabotage our wonderful relationship? Thank you in advance.
  5. Hi everyone, I'm sorry in advance if this turns out to be a long post or if it sounds overly emotional/confusing. I am in desperate need of advice and have no one to turn to. Right now, my mind is a mess..I am shocked, sad, and drowning in my own tears My story: I'm in a committed LDR for the past 4 years with my boyfriend. He lives in Texas and I'm in Canada. We have made frequent trips during that time as well as spoke on the phone (and internet) every day, multiple times a day for hours. He has already met my family and I flew to another country to meet his father. Since the beginning we have always talked about marriage, kids and spending our lives together. He was supposed to be "the one" for me. Yesterday I randomly ended up looking him up on a search engine. I had done this once when we were first dating, but it was more curiosity at that time. Last night it was for a silly reason of hearing on the news about identity theft and they recommended you should look up loved ones on a search engine to make sure no one has been using their info. And so that's what I did. I searched his email and came accross his FB profile. He had FB when we first were dating but said he rarely used it and I guess he made it difficult to search (wasn't able to find it the first time I looked).. And I'm not on FB so I wouldnt really be able to check otherwise. Anyway, there was his profile with one pic that I could see. I read the comment that someone left and it said " Nice pic! Congrats on the wedding to ****. Hope we can all go on a trip one day".....My mouth hit the floor. It hasn't left. I ended up staying up all night and found out through further googling and clicking on FB that his brother in law had posted pictures. And then I saw them.. There were 4 pictures of my boyfriend of 4 years with some other woman.. MARRIAGE PICTURES!! The date was Nov 23, 2012. I remember around that time he said he had to help his Dad with some business and also see his sister and brother in law (they all live in anther country. I haven't met his sister or brother in law btw as they live so far, but have spoken to them) and he said he was going to his cousin's wedding and he needed to go as he missed so many family weddings growing up. I stupidly believed him. I checked my old texts and he had written before he left, "I love you so much. I'll miss you and would much rather be coming to see you". He kept in touch through texts and we spoke a few times, but he said he had issues connecting his phone. Truthfully I don't even know where he got married or if he ever left, as the pics say Houston. And if he did get married how/why was he txting and calling me like nothing happened, telling me that he went to some relatives house and that he was helping with the cousins wedding etc??...I just can't understand any of this. The worst part of last night was seeing this other woman (this pretty doctor) and when I clicked on her profile she had a wedding picture of my bf, his father and her as her cover. I was able to click on the only 4 pictures I could see (because of privacy settings!) and they were all of the wedding. One was a picture of both of them at a club hugging. It was dated a few months ago, a couple weeks after my birthday. I literally collapsed on the floor after seeing all of this...shaking, crying, stunned. I pulled up old pictures of us together just to make sure this was him. I felt like I was going crazy and kept telling myself, that maybe this was some other guy who just really looked like him. But it wasn't. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare This past year has been hell on me since I have had some ongoing health issues, and I even briefly considered not being with him a few months ago as I didn't want to make his life harder because I was so sick. I stupidly have always thought of him. I have been 100% faithful to his man. I just can't understand how anyone can do this to someone. I couldn't even imagine doing this to my worst enemy. It's not like he had some arranged marriage, because he looks happy and he has always told me that he is an independent man. He had a past marriage that failed and during the first part of our relationship we spoke at length about what he went through and how she took him for a ride. (Who knows if that's true or not) I always was on his side about his role in his marriage and helped him through whatever traumas he had dealt with in his childhood (his mom and brother passed away when he was young). Our relationship has had some ups and downs like every relationship, but we were happy I thought. If there were ever times when we did fight, he always pushed for us to stay together. Ive even heard him cry on the phone about us always staying together..Were those even real tears or maybe just crocodile tears? Our last call yesterday he was telling me how excited he was to have children with me one day and he started asking me about how we should plan our future..where we wanted to live, etc. Im confused as to how can he be married to someone else and have a full relationship with me. Making me believe that we have this amazing future together when really I have nothing. Telling me each and every day that he's in love with me. Words which I really believed. I don't know if I became the other woman or was she dating him before me, and I'm the other woman. Whichever way it is, its absolutely horrible. I feel like the floor has fallen from under me. I have thought about flying to Houston so that I can find this other woman and tell her the truth about her supposed perfect husband. I know you may think it's wrong to do so, but my life has been destroyed by this so why should he be able to just continue with his with no repercussions. It's not something that I ever would like to do, as I'm sure she thinks the world of him too, but why should he just escape blame free??? Plus he's ruining her life too, by having this relationship with me. I have also thought of just showing up unannounced and seeing how he reacts and confronting him them. A part of me wants him to see the pain he has caused face to face because right now I feel disposable and like I'm toy that he's playing with and will one day just throw away. I love this man with all my heart..more than any one else I have ever loved. But this is the worst thing that someone you love can do to you. Sadly, I have been cheated on before, but never like this. And my boyfriend knew that I was cheated on previously and he always said he would take care of me so I never get hurt. All lies I guess I really don't know how I can move on from this.I feel like I can't believe in anyone anymore. I am imagining just closing myself from perpetual hurt and just living alone forever. I feel like its one bad relationship after the next. I don't even know if any of this relationship was real..was every moment we shared a lie??? I don't know why he has decided to continue to make me feel like he's my boyfriend and we have this perfect life together..I would have more respect for him if he has just broke it off with me before he decided to marry this girl. Actually I don't think I'll ever have respect for him. What should I do? Do I just confront him on the phone or should I travel there? Should I contact her? Please help!!!
  6. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 5 years and we got engaged a couple months ago before Christmas. When we first started dating, I never had any issues with his sister (I actually thought she was the coolest!). However, as time went on, I realized she really didn’t like me. She looked at me like the person taking him away from family because he was spending all his time with me (we moved in together, moved to another state together for work). She would make snide comments and just generally rude to me (to my face and behind my back). I let it roll off my shoulders because I’m not great at confrontation. When he told her he was planning to propose, she told him not to do it and basically that I’m an awful person to marry. Same thing when we got engaged- not a happy reaction AT ALL. It was tough to see someone so upset about us getting engaged when we were so excited to take this step together, but again, let it slide because it wasn’t worth the confrontation. We went to dinner with her, his mom and uncle to celebrate the holidays and at dinner they asked about wedding plans. My fiancé told them we were barely started with planning but had a guest list and were planning to have an adult only wedding (no kids). She took this incredibly personally (she has a 4 y/o daughter) and became very upset in the restaurant. LONG STORY SHORT... She got incredibly angry (honestly borderline pure rage) and blew up in the restaurant. She began screaming at me (blaming me), cussing at me, telling me I’m a terrible and manipulative person. I said nothing back because I was purely shocked by her reaction and in tears. I got up to remove myself from the situation (it was humiliating and quite a scene in the restaurant) and she then chased me out of the restaurant trying to physically assault me. My fiancé had to physically restrain her to prevent her from actually hurting me. I don’t know how to handle her and our relationship. I’m terrified of this person and the level of rage she is capable of reaching. She clearly hates me and does not support our decision to get married. Bottom line is I don’t want her at my wedding.... Am I wrong if I don’t invite her? Any thoughts?
  7. Post your most memorable movie quotes (or dialogue) here. I'm thinking not necessarily the most well known (Life is a box of chocolates), but those which stuck with you for some reason. If you wanna say why its memorable to you, even better. To start: From "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" (major paraphrasing) Mona Stangley : And Jesus went to a wedding where he turned the water into wine Sheriff Earl Dodd: He was a great man, and he knew how to throw a party Mona: Earl, I can't believe you said that, that's sacrilegious Earl: I know, I know. But God forgives me. Mona: Ain't it funny how God can for give you, but people can't? Earl: I suppose that's because people aint very God-like I was a teenager when I saw this scene. Growing up, we were taught that our parents' word was infallible. I was starting to realize this wasn't true, and they were often unfair. Seeing this scene brought it home that people truly aren't "God-lkie"
  8. Hi All, thanks for reading. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. We are engaged to be married next year and have just bought our dream house together. I get on ok with her mother but i am struggling to hide how much i dislike her from my partner. I love her dad though he is brilliant. Firstly, she (MIL) is rude, very abrupt, when i first met her she couldnt have been less interested in making a first impression. I have been raised to always be very polite. She treats my 26 yr old girlfriend like a baby, arranges to go to her medical appointments with her, still bought her underwear until she moved out, used to read personal valentines and birthday cards id sent her. When she moved out, made her take all her Disney stuffed teddy's and kids toys but told her she cant throw them away. She facetimes her atleast twice a day everyday and texts all day in between, and complains when we do things without her. Wants constant updates on the work we are doing in our house. We went on our first holiday overseas and because we didnt invite her she booked the exact holiday in the exact hotel a few months later and took my girlfriend with her. I took my gf to LA to propose (we live in the uk) her mum also wanted to come with us. She comments on anything we post on social media about how she didnt get an invite, how we do things without her. If we go shopping somewhere, she asks that she comes with us next time. She wants to be involved in all the wedding plan's and doesnt ask to come to our appointments, just tells us she is coming. She pressured my gf into having her cousin as bridesmaid at our wedding. She has spoke about buying a house nearer to us. She lives 30 minutes away but asked which room in our new house is for when she stays over. And then is the embarrasing stuff, she spits when she talks, so going out for a meal with her is uncomfortable, she will sit in a dress with her legs far too open because she is quite large and cant fold one over the other but will be showing everything. She belches all the time. When she invites us around for a meal, she plates the food up with her bare hands, and i once saw her do that after "adjusting" her underwear. Quite honestly, my biggest issue is that she repulses me and i am so uncomfortable around her. But i would never be rude to her, nor do i want to upset my partner in telling her how I feel. Help?
  9. My fiance and I got engaged in February of last year before lockdowns after five years together. We had set the date to March of 2021, and I honestly thought things would be so much better by now. I thought I'd be able to have a normal wedding. Well, my town in Texas has rapidly climbed in hospitalization rate up to 31% and so many people either refuse to wear masks entirely or wear them really improperly. In September, my fiance and I and my mom and dad caught covid. He ended up taking a turn for the worse, and he was in the ICU for 7 days and in the hospital a total of 10. Thankfully, he pulled through. I had planned on a wedding of like 150 people, and the more I thought about it the more I knew things weren't going to be better to that degree in march, so I moved the reception to 2022. However, I thought I'd still get married on the same day and just have a small thing with his family and my family. Even that is proving to be a source of great worry for me. Ky thinks that if we ask that everyone will wear masks and wear them properly over their nose and mouth. Sure his strongly left leaning democratic family will. Mine on the other hand...Maybe they will for us, but I feel like if they wear them it won't be properly. The last thing I want is my fiance fighting with my family at my wedding. I had a fight with my sister today about masks. Through all of this, I've hung out with my friends pretty much entirely remotely. I, however, made an exception for one of my sisters and her family and my mom. We don't wear masks around each other, but we do wear masks in public. However, my sister keeps wearing this yellow mask that doesn't cover her nose and basically gaps open when she speaks. I've been trying to hold my tongue, but I know I kept letting it slip that it should really be tight against her nose. I would normally never police with someone wears, but wearing it like is basically not wearing it at all. So she basically got mad at me for being passive aggressive and policing how others are following the mandate and said it did cover her nose(ya loosely when she doesn't move her face at all). And I told her I knew she was so smart and that she cared about people, so she should be wearing it properly. Eventually she said if I got her one she would wear it when she was with me. So I handed her the extra one in my bag. Not really a successful end to the conflict, but we both just ended the discussion. Last time I went out with my mom she insisted on wearing hers under her nose even though she's a nurse.... And I would just let it slide especially as all of us have had covid fairly recently, but I know if my fiance sees it he's going to resent it, and it's going to be an issue at our wedding. Even worse are my ex-step-dad and brother who are anti-maskers. I feel like I'm less worried about them wearing them and more worried about them fighting with my fiance. I really don't need it right now on top of the stress of everything else. Like, obviously they should.... I don't know about the rest of your, but I'm ready for this all to be over. I'm happy to hear advice, but I also think maybe I just needed to vent. I'm so anxious about the whole thing now, and I love to plan parties.
  10. Hi This is my first post on here so It may be a little long but hopefully some of you have some time and advice to spare Ok so I am a 30 year old female and I am recently engaged. Things with my fiancé are perfect. It is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. Before him I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship and meeting my fiancé was like a breath of fresh air. The only problem is he has been married before and has 2 children from that relationship. The children aren’t the problem, we get along great they love me and when they are with us we are all very happy. The problem isn’t even his ex. They have not been a couple for 10+ years, she is re-married. They only communicate about the children and see each other in passing when they exchange the kids. The problem is me. I can’t get over the fact that I am not his first for anything. I know how petty and immature it sounds but part of me is almost angry at him that this won’t be his first wedding, that when we have children they won’t be his first. I know this seems so crazy because I willingly got in a relationship with him and I knew these things up front. I can only say in my defense, I have never dated someone who has such an extensive past before, especially one that is still connected to the present. I didn’t know that these feelings would come up as we started to make our relationship more serious. I didn’t know that when we got engaged, I would be wondering in the back of my head if it was similar to his last engagement. That I would become obsessed with trying to ensure that our wedding is completely different than his first. That I would only want to have girls because he has 2 sons already. I can’t shake the feeling that everything I am doing with him has been done before. He is so sweet and has tried to assure me that their relationship was nothing compared to ours, that he never thinks about their relationship or compares the two but I can’t shake the feeling. Most recently I found out his mother (my future mother in law) is still friendly with his ex. This sent me into a complete tail spin. I’ve always had the fantasy of having a mother in law I could be close with. And finding out that she is still close to his ex-wife really broke my heart. This has come up several times recently (during wedding planning) and it’s really starting to affect our relationship. My fiance has expressed that he does not know what else he can do to assure me that things are different with us and that he is happier than he was before. I don’t know what to do with my jealousy and my feelings of being “second best” I don’t want to destroy this relationship and I wish there was some rule book on how to be a second wife. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in this situation and how they dealt with these feelings. Thank you.
  11. Long story short. It was a very healthy relationship, the night before we were in the cinema and had a lovely dinner together and woke up arm in arm (we lived together). The next day we had an argument - I was upset and told him Im leaving. The same day when I returned home he packed up my stuffs and asked me for the key. When I got home he asked me: are you hungry? Should I cook something? And I saw in the living room my stuffs were packed in luggages. I flipped out. I destroyed our photos. I threw my beloved soft toy in the bin which was his gift for me, I was broken. He yelled at me: this is my home. The next morning I received a call from his mother and she told me to leave....I was even more mad that he got his mother involved...Then he threatened me with the police and he actually called the police on me to make me leave the common apartment. (he is the one who has the contract with the landlord). I went homeless. A week later I couldn't stand this situation after we texted to each other...I went to "his" apartment, for me emotionally also mine at 11pm, a bit tipsy. He locked the door from outside and came out. I just wanted to go home...It happened so suddenly with this stupid argument. We are both not mature and both lack of communications. It was wonderful even the day before. I didn't open me the door and I gave him a smack, I left the house. I know he loves me very much, he told me I was his first love and we had future plans (two vacations booked) and marriage plans. He never lived with a woman before. We never had any arguments before living together. I do love him. He sent a common friend a day after her wedding day a message that he wishes thing would have worked out differently and he could attend the wedding alone with me. That common friend told him that I left the wedding earlier because I was sad too. I am not an aggressive person he knows that and I always took good care of him. It was that moment I wanted to go home... my heart broke to see him not letting me to go home. I wanted go home and cry. We were both acting like kids. He knew I would never leave him (maybe he did not in that moment), he called my bluffs and packed up my stuffs... So would you as a man to forgive?
  12. Okay, this story is messy and something I'm not proud of so please don't start responding and trying to shame me because I already know, I get it. With that being said let me begin: So I married my high school sweetheart after 6 years of dating. We were 21 and should of not been getting married. Post wedding, I found out from the best man of the wedding that my new husband had apparently been cheating (having sex for two months prior to the wedding) on me with a girl who was in our friend group aka she was at the wedding, bought us a wedding gift, etc. Anyways, I confront my husband and tell him what I know he admits it, we're both distraught and I left for two months. The best man who told me was very gracious (sarcasm intended) and invited me to come stay with him while I figure things out. I did not want to tell my family since they had just spend thousands of dollars on my wedding so I just kept quiet and lived with the best man for two months. After getting married a week ago, and finding out you've been cheated on you tend to be vulnerable. Well in this time of emotion and vulnerability, the best man swooped in and fully took advantage. I slept with him multiple times before realizing that I just wanted to get out of there. Also throughout these two months of living with him I was still communicating with my husband and decided I'd go back to him A) because I wanted to get out of the best mans house and B) I still had feelings for him and decided maybe we could work something out. My husband did not know where I was staying so I just told him a friends house, no more questions really came up about it. Also my husband clearly did not speak to the best man anymore since he ratted him out. Anyways, when I finally left the best man literally went insane. He would drive by my husband and I's house and call me nonstop and text me all hours of the day about how he wanted to kill himself and he was going to tell my husband everything if I didn't let him back into my life. After being black mailed for weeks I said okay because I was terrified of him. He basically had me on call when he wanted to have sex and I pretended to care about him literally just to keep him quiet. This didn't go on for very long and I managed to weasel my way out of the situation many times. I eventually divorced my husband due to our own issues with his cheating continuing and on the inside I knew I was just as guilty. Anyways, it didn't work out and probably for the best. So timeline wise, all this has transpired in around an 8 month period from wedding to divorce. Fast forward about a year later and this best man is still trying to win me over and get me to be with him and if I don't "give him a chance" then he says he'll either kill himself, or post a something online about how I cheated on my ex-husband with him, or since "I'm hurting him then he has to hurt me" or he'll fight my current boyfriend (yes I'm dating someone now, will be discussed later). So after everything cooling down for a while I met this guy (wasn't looking for anyone but things kind of fell into place) who is the definition of a perfect, kind, and wholesome human. Anyways, best man sees a photo of me and current boyfriend online (he's blocked but I presume got on someone else's phone) and goes ballistic and starts the whole process over again that he's going to ruin me, or kill himself or fight my boyfriend. My boyfriend knows about my divorce and that the best man has been essentially stalking me for a good time now and just tells me not to worry about it. However, he doesn't know about all the cheating and messy living situation I dealt with. But, at this point I'm not sure if or when I should tell him everything. I really do not want to have to tell every messy detail about my past, as i'm sure others have felt too. But at the same time, if he knew everything I could finally just tell the best man to essentially off and take away this leverage he has over me. But then again he could just be bluffing to get me to give him a chance. I'm really not sure what to do and I just want this best man to disappear out of my life. He should of never been in my life and I regret every minute with him that has led me to this point. Anyways, I know this is a lot to take in, but it's my life and i'm just seeking some kind of help or advice as to how to tell the best man in the kindest but sternest way that I will never be with him, but also need him to not go crazy again. He knows where I live, where I work and where I go to school.
  13. Hi there, I've been with my boyfriend (M28) for more than 2 years and a half. It will be 3 years in december. I am 22 years old (F). I have been on and off LD with him due to work/immigration issue (when I say on/off, I mean we were living together during 3/4 months, then back LD, then back living together). We are getting sick of the long distance so we decided to get married to finally be able to close the distance and to settle together. When I tried telling my mom that I'm considering getting married, she did not react very well telling me that I was too young and that I should enjoy my youth before settling. She told me I didn't know my boyfriend because of the time we were LD. She thinks he might take advantage of my citizenship and said he did not look enough addicted to me to be my husband (some sorts of bad arguments to try to discourage me). My fiancé is a good man. He sure has some flaws, but I love him like he is. My parents have made the war with me since the beginning of my relationship due to the fact that he is from another nationality and older than me even if he has always been super kind with them. They never really accepted him in the family and I'm not so sure of how to invite them to my wedding now. I'm planning it slowly but it would be for next year. So I need to announce them soon I guess. I was thinking of just giving them the invitation at christmas time but I'm not sure that is the good way to do it. I'm kind of scared to have to face another war with them concerning the wedding, which is sad because I've always had a great relationship with them. Any advices on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.
  14. Hello! I would really appreciate everyone’s opinion at the moment. I have been with my partner over a year now, I’m a quiet person who really enjoys to spend time in the countryside, Hiking, exploring.. Would never change that for Pubs or any party. My partner is quite similar, he had his fun when younger, but seems to enjoy our quiet weekends so far. I have had a few problems with 2 of his friends, when we got together.. His friend and Girlfriend made sure to arrange a dinner with my partners sister.. just to say that he found just a foreigner waitress.. And was getting her (me) to move in with him! That caused many problems at the time.. For a long time his sister has never trusted me. It started to get better only now.. After she had spent some time with us. After that, i have never trusted those people, they like to talk and judge people.. And i avoid that at all cost! They live just next door, and i have been invited several times to have girls night out in Leeds, i have refused it all.. As I suffer quite a lot with anxiety and avoid crowded places. I have suggested ist a night as Everyone together.. But she was not happy with it, she says i must enjoy nights out without my partner. I don’t understand why tho! My partner has asked if I would marry him.. i love him.. And i said yes! We agreed with a small ceremony.. But everything has gone out of control already! He transformed a small ceremony in a big expensive one.. which I don’t want to! His friend (our neighbors) has mentioned if i need his Citizenship, I felt that it was Very offensive, as I don’t even needa visa to live in UK! We went over to their house couple days ago and he started to talk about his speech on the wedding day.. It was terrible for me!! He started to mention how my partner used to Chase girls at the pub.. Past relationships details.. and all their drinking adventures! After that, i did mention to my partner that i have had enough from them... but he doesn’t seem to understand ! As he doesn’t understand about a simple wedding also! I feel trapped!! They want to go out this weekend and have been putting pressure on me for it, we already had plans to do one of the three peaks tho. And I really don’t feel like going to center and drink until late :( Am i not normal? I feel really bad.. As if i am stopping him from having fun!
  15. I am at a point in my life where I am reeling from what happened to me. I am in a state of cognitive dissonance still, so I do not think I fully comprehend what has happened to me yet. I met a guy 1.5 years ago on Tinder. He was perfect to me, everything about him. Everything I ever wanted. It was just after the wedding invitations went out that I noticed he would say hurtful things, and apologize but it wasn't genuine whatsoever. My unease began growing, but I thought it could be wedding jitters. I had no idea what the actual issue was but I didn't feel right. I will go into detail of everything that happened and the red flags. But for now, I just want to know if anyone has ever been through something like this. Experienced severe gaslighting, lying, and feeling like the rug was pulled from underneath you in a second.
  16. Some examples, and no they weren't all said in 1 day Jokingly saying he put money aside for wedding [don't really think he did?] Oh we should get married and come back and tell everyone! Talking about what the wedding would be like. Jokingly saying "we should just get married" Drove past a ring place and he was like "oh I need to go there to get your ring!" Joked saying I don't know what hes getting me for Christmas and it'll be a real knee jerker, and joked about getting down on his knee. Brought up noticing a wedding dress place. Joked about proposing for Christmas and that's what I get for Christmas. ….THEN TWO DAYS before Christmas made a joke about this place that says plaques and said Oh you get best girlfriend, best fiancé award. A WEEK before Christmas he asked my ring size. Why wouldn't I think he was going to do it?? Soo of course I expected a proposal today and nope. that's my own fault, but is it? He keeps hinting all this and making comments and I cant lie but feel disappointed. Yes, I know talking about it on the internet isn't the way to go but right now im not ready to talk to him about it. So am I overreacting? How to handle this? Yes we've been together 2 years, have a kid together, and yes we've discussed marriage before. I feel like he built me up...and then nothing.I'm not the one who continually joked about it. Judge if you must, but i'm slightly upset..
  17. I (33F) just got dumped by my boyfriend (31M) of a little bit over a year. To give the situation context - we work together and he had pursued me. We committed to one another after about 4 months of dating. He was never hesitant to introduce me to his family and we hung out with his friends on a regular basis. He was the best person I’ve ever been with, always affectionate and available. I never questioned him or how he felt about me. I genuinely thought he loved me and that our future would fall into place. He was my best friend and my home. He had never told me he loved me, but I had been too scared to tell him too even though I knew I did. I was never scared because I didn’t believe he felt the same way.. I just felt like we’d both held off for so long that we sort of got stuck. I also come from a relatively troubled childhood that has caused me to be hesitant to openly talk about my feelings without being asked. I had planned on telling him on our 1 year, when we had made our relationship official. A few weeks ago he had went to visit his family across the state. Seemed like a normal trip, we talked the whole time he was gone. Sunday he came back and after an awkward call, he came by to tell me he needed to talk. I could tell he was upset. He said his parents had brought up his future plans.. asked if he planned on living with me and he didn’t have an answer. They encouraged him to talk to me about how he was feeling. He said he felt like after a year, that he should know that he wants those things with me. He also brought up a friends wedding we had just went to and how if he were up there he wouldn’t know what to say. I was in shock. I had no idea he felt that way. He’d never given me any reason to believe his feelings had changed. He seemed unsure, so I gave him a few weeks to figure it out. I had planned on minimal contact and while we talked significantly less, he continued to reach out to me almost everyday. I understand now why people say breaks are like a ty purgatory, but I love him and wanted to try to give him what I felt like he needed. I felt like the whole time I laid around feeling terrible and he spent time filling his days with stuff so he wouldn’t have to think about what happened. (Please don’t say he wanted to sleep with someone else. I’m very sure this was not the case). We came back this past weekend to talk. He said it was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last thing before he went to bed. He brought up that wedding again. (Unrelated, the wedding thing makes me kind of angry because he focuses on their vows, but doesn’t know their story. The couple is good now, but they had at first broken up because one party was unsure and wanted to explore someone else. Iconic I guess). He said that he thought maybe in those three weeks apart, that our future would start to formulate for him, but that it didn’t. I didn’t think that was what the break was for. I’m not sure something like that could change in 3 weeks and I thought the intention was more of a “did we want to try to work on things and move forward”. I know I can’t force someone to love me, but the whole thing just feels so bad and wrong. I’ve had a few serious relationships.. and while the breakups hurt, I could always recognize faults in the person, as well as our relationship. I cried and was upset, but in the end I knew the decision was right, regardless of whether or not I was the dumper or the dumpee. This time doesn’t feel that way. It feels like we’re throwing away something so good. The way I feel about him is deep. I felt like we could always be our true selves around each other and I never wanted to change him. I trusted him with my entirety, He told me he still wanted to be there for me, but I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore.. that it just hurt too much. It’s not that I don’t want to because I do, more than anything. It just hurts too much. So I guess I’m going no contact. I don’t know what else to do. I know it’s naive, but there’s part of me that hopes this will be the true break that he needs to figure out his stuff. I’m going to try to make it all the way through the holidays.. if at the end I feel like he’s still my future, I’ll consider reaching out. I know everyone’s first response is to say to that when someone says they don’t see a future with you, that it’s a sign to leave. But does anyone have any stories about a change of heart? Is there any hope at all that no contact will bring us back? Could he have panicked about weddings and the idea of moving in together? He’s over 30 and has never lived with a significant other.
  18. I have been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years. I will be proposing this month. Whenever we get dressed up to go out she wears her wedding band (not engagement ring) from her ex on her right ring finger. I thought this was weird so I asked her about it. She told me that she just thinks it is a pretty ring and that she likes to wear it. She said that when they got married he made her buy her own wedding band and that he did not spend a dime on it or even go with her to pick it out. So to her it has no meaning (it's just another ring). She told me that she divorced him after 3 months together because they had zero connection and he treated her badly. I can kind of see where she is coming from saying it's just a ring to her, but the fact that it was meant to be a wedding ring still bugs me a little bit. Am I being ridiculous?
  19. A year ago I met a guy and so the story goes... We dated, which progressed into a loving relationship, and now we are living together. We are "normal" couple with our ups and downs but at the end of each day I can honestly say that I am so unbelievably lucky to have this person in my life. Rewind to month 1. We had been on 2 (maybe three dates) before I traveled for a long weekend with friends. We stayed in touch but at this point, I was not sure if I saw this relationship going anywhere but I enjoyed the time we spent together and knew we would continue talking/wanting to him again. On the weekend vaca, there was this other guy. No future potential feasible, this I knew, but the drinks were flowing, i was attracted to him and he was attracted to me, so we ended up having a one-nightstand. [i also should disclose that he was just released from probation... He served time for sexual offense. Without going into the whole background - he and the girl he was dating were both intoxicated and she said no. He served his sentence and is now a registered sex offender. This I all knew prior to hooking up and what has added to the guilt I will express later in this post. I made a choice. The good, bad, and ugly, I made a choice I have to live with, and as much as I wish I could take it back, I cannot.] When I got home I saw my guy again and things progressed. About a week after my vaca he said he did not want to see other people and I agreed. My one-nightstand reached out once or twice since that one weekend, but it was nothing more than a "hi how are you doing" and I did tell him I was in committed relationship with someone I cared about. He understood and we have not spoken since. I never felt the need to say anything because... well we were dating. It wasn't official... Every "excuse" that pops into my head feels like a cop-out. But really I was embrassed and ashamed of the choices I made. I have not thought a about that weekend or felt this sense of guilt until I found out that my one-nightstand will be attending a destination wedding I will be attending as well with my partner. Do I believe my one-nightstand will make a scene? No. But others who will also be in attendance at the wedding know of my weekend escapade and like to "stir the pot." After a year I feel as though it's too late to dig up the past. However, I would never want my partner to be blindsided, so he knows that this one-night stand may be in attendance he just does not know that we hooked-up when he and I were first dating... Thoughts?
  20. I've been here years ago. Here we go. My girlfriend moved in with her kids. Everything was going so good. We had an amazing vacation together. We talk non stop every day. I mean it was perfect I was so happy and she said it also many times After having an great weekend away with the kids it turn for the worse very quick. It came down to a wedding a year away and I could give an answer if i could go right away with my work schedule. With in an hr she add alternative ideas who she could go with. It was an destination wedding a year away. We could have booked in the new year for Just a few hundred dollars more. But she could waited. Of course I was up set and said if it was my friends wedding and you had to wait to see or couldn't go. I said I wouldn't go without you. It put me in a bad mood for a few days. I work away so for me voicing my opinion on it she said I was controlling never in my life have I ever been called that Next thing it was her birthday a few days later. Because of the disagreement I wasn't invited out. She said it was only girls night out. Come to find out there was boyfriends and husbands there. I was left at home on her birthday. So I was upset again and then she called me controlling. The day I left to go to work and getting on my second flight she texted me and said she was moving out. She called me immature and controlling. No matter what I said I couldn't convince her to stay. No the worst part is I truly loved her and still do. She left and with the kids. I'm having such a hard time with because I'm not that person she claims I am. Just like that she was gone. No I know she had a rough go with realationship but I shouldn't be put in the same category as them. I really do love her and wish she would just talk to me
  21. It's nearly 11pm, I'm staying up because I have a few things I want to get done before work tomorrow. Well that was the plan anyway, go in on Tuesday after the bank holiday all refreshed and ready for the week. Instead here I am, writing this, because my mind is racing, I can’t concentrate on anything but this. It bubbles up all the time and takes over all thought processes, especially in the evenings, when I’m usually most productive. His name is Finn, he joined my current company just over a year ago now, when he joined he was fairly chatty, what I would call a typical ‘lad’, not super intelligent. Just noisy and disrupting really. Yet, he had this energy, it became apparent so quickly. He would burst out with random phrases, walk around with this huge presence. He was confident and almost cocky. Yet, he also seemed interested in me. He would lean in to see what I was working on, take an interest in my life, tell me jokes. He did this with everyone and I watched the entire workplace warm towards him. This energy, this vibrance. Yet underneath it all, he was young and somewhat naive. He didn’t really enjoy the job, this was obvious after just a few months. Months went by and I felt more and more drawn to him. Attractive…yes, actually really attractive, why can’t I stop staring? He went to the gym a lot, counted his protein intake, always commented on other women…how attracted he was to them. His testosterone level must have been off the scale. I wondered if he thought I was attractive too? Did he look at me in the same way I looked at him? I found myself asking these questions more and more frequently. We grew closer and I tried to mimic his energy. We went running together, joined the same gym, discussed the next challenge. He was all I could think about. Yet…I was engaged, due to get married in just a couple of months, what was I doing? He was in a long term relationship. Both of us were not available. Yet both of us were unhappy. Finn tried to end his relationship. He announced to his girlfriend it was over. I announced to my fiancé that I didn’t want to get married. This crazy energy poured through my veins. I felt like this excited schoolgirl, we could run away together, be free and wild. This man that fills me with so much energy. Yet he’s so vain, young and so obsessed with every female, why do I even like him? It goes against everything. He didn’t walk away from his relationship, it hurt him too much. He went back to her within days of ending it. I couldn’t walk away from my fiancé, it ripped me apart. What was I doing? We’d been together for nearly 7 years, everything was great with us. What is wrong with me and why do I feel so sick. I can’t eat anything, my stomach feels like it has dried up? Finn leaves my current company. Yet I get married, go through with the wedding. It’s beautiful, a perfect day. I try to push Finn from my thoughts. The honeymoon is amazing, hmm, I haven't been on social media for ages, maybe I should post a picture of myself online. Maybe he will see it? I think back to the evening of the wedding, Finn was there. I’d been married just hours but my heart raced when he walked into the wedding venue. It’s now a couple of months since the wedding. After seeking advice from a close friend, I decided to be honest with Finn. I told him how I felt, maybe if I let it out I could finally move on, it’s like a poison taking over my mind. Silence. He didn’t talk to me for 2 days. I resisted the urge to chase. I left him be. Those 2 days felt like 2 weeks. He finally spoke to me, told me I was a fool to get married, admitted he had feelings for me too and that I was his ‘weakness’. What does that mean? I’m his mistake waiting to happen? We agree to be adults and go on with our lives. Stay friends but not to act on our urges. I feel empty everyday. Guilt eats away at me, why can’t I see how lucky I am? My husband loves me. Yet here I sit, my husband in bed, I’m unable to sleep and I’m now underweight. Food is not enjoyable anymore, a lot of things aren’t. I’ve carried on with the running and the gym, throwing myself into it harder than ever, secretly hoping I’ll see his car pull up in the car park. He posted photos today, of him and his girlfriend, smiling and happy. It’s been just over a month since the dreaded conversation. I keep crying when I drive home from work, it's the only time I get completely on my own…apart from now of course. Can someone please help. I know I’m an awful person, I’m not looking for sympathy. I just want to forget him, go back to how things were and appreciate what I have. This is ruining my life.
  22. I went on vacation with one of my friends to a resort. While there we met a group of 4 guys that were all in the Marines celebrating their leave together before they were all shipped different places around the world. I ended up instantly clicking with one of the guys and after only a week was head over heels. Knowing he was being stationed in Hawaii and I would be in North Carolina made it hard to think anything would come out of this. My heart started to break, knowing I felt something real. We talked for a few days after the resort. And he called me to inform me that the resort was actually his bachelor party. He'd never cheated before, couldn't believe what he'd done, but felt no guilt. He told me he was thinking of calling the wedding off because he essentially just settled for her and was realizing it now. I told him that if he were to call it off it shouldn't be because of me, because there was no guarantee this would work. He agreed and took a few days to think it over. Concluding that he would never be happy with her no matter what. He called off his wedding and spent $50k in cancellation fees, but there was one small problem. Being a marine, they had already signed the marriage liscense and been married in front of a judge, with an actually wedding at a later date when he got longer leave. Now my world was crushed. This guy I so longed for was married! His "wife" knew he cheated on her at the bachelor party, but didn't know we kept in contact. She pulled phone records of our conversations and found out we planned to see eachother again. She went off the deep end, messaging me, my friends and family. Threatening to turn the marine into his commander for adultery, essentially kicking him out of the marines. He was willing to take the risk, but I couldn't let him. She refused a divorce until december and threatened him to not talk to me until then. We have kept in contact by other means. She kind of has him in a corner... do you think after a few months she'll give it up? Is it still a good idea to try to meet up? I've pretty much already decided he's worth it. I need any advice that may calm my anxiety.
  23. My Fiance and I had been together for 6 and a half years when he decided he wasn't happy and left just as we were receiving RSVP cards for our wedding. We have 2 children together and the youngest is just 9 months old. It's been a month now since he left but we have to see each other all the time due to the children. The first two weeks after the break up were the worst of my life. He was all I'd known since I was 18 so to lose him absolutely killed me inside However, I then started to realise that maybe I could be a better person and I have enjoyed the last 2 weeks being single. Now I am sitting here wondering how I actually feel. I feel so emotionless and numb that I'm not sure whether maybe I do still love him or not. My question is how can I go about the no contact when he needs to be at my house half the time to see to the children? I enjoy his company but I don't think it's right to see him so much because I'll have less chance to get over what we have lost. is no contact really necessary?
  24. Our wedding is supposed to be this October. I'm due any day with our son. I always wanted a nice wedding with family and friends. To give a little history my father passed away almost 6 years ago. It hurts knowing he can't walk me down the aisle. I do have two little girls from a previous relationship. Four years and 18 months. I want them involved in the wedding as well as our son. So it has always been hard for me to decide what I want. If I want to elope and have a destination wedding then the children can't come. Another problem I'm struggling to understand is a few weeks ago on my birthday my soon to be mother in law planned a baby shower for me. I planned my first one myself with my daughter because no one else offered but this is her first grandson so I reluctantly let her do it. I hated the idea simply because I was afraid not a lot of people would be able to come. She sent invites out two months in advance. I gave her 50 addresses for my side of the family and friends. NOT ONE PERSON CAME FROM MY SIDE besides my mother and grandma after I told her I had gotten 12 cancels in one day. I cannot explain the hurt and betrayal I felt. And still feel. My bridesmaids bailed. All the rest of my family. All of my close friends. I had to explain to my mom who the people where that did show up. My mother in laws neighbors. That's who. I may be just hormonal but at least 3/4 of these people were excited to come. Then cancel last minute or don't show up at all. Back to the wedding. Now I'm trying to decide if I even want to try to have a wedding in fear of the same results. What if we plan this wedding and people say they are coming and don't. I know a few will cancel but last time it was all of them. I don't want to 1. Spend all that money to waste it. 2. Expect to see a bigger turn out than I do and be crushed. 3. Feel that embarrassment again. My own bridesmaids. My best friends. Couldn't take two hours out of their day. There are 5 of them. And not one. So do we elope or do we continue on with the wedding? It really hurts and I feel like giving up. Sorry for spelling or grammar errors. I'm bawling uncontrollably while trying to type this. I have never felt so alone.
  25. Ta if anyone knows XXX not much time add more info
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