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A bit long, sorry, but I need help from you guys on this. I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years. We always get along, we are together everyday and we argue about minimal stuff like anyone else. He has an older brother who is egotistical, he only thinks of himself, always does what he likes, is awkward sometimes and once was about to get physical with me because I was cheering for another fighter in the UFC than him (who his fighter lost). If it wasn't for my boyfriend stepping in who knows what he would've done. The last straw though was at a bbq, one summer day, he refused to let me help with the bbq when I asked nicely saying: "my girlfriend is coming, I want to impress her", when you're offering help. I was sad at first but then got mad at him for being so rude and said it infront of everyone to let him have it (he deserved it imo) and left. He always does this when she is involved, he needs to put on a show. He's a fake pos, he has nothing to his name at 27, barely can do school, and he thinks he can boss others around. He has even told my boyfriend many times: "this isn't your house, you don't live here anymore" when he doesn't either, and it's his families' house. This is a brief summary, there is much more, point to say he's an asshole. We confronted him once about this and he said he back talked us to everyone and wasn't even sorry for how he behaved. So we cut him out and didnt speak to him. In the present, we wanted to be at his house for holidays but he might've been there too so I told my boyfriend the best way is we go when he's not there to avoid trouble. He's stubborn and thinks we should still confront this guy, who won't change, because "avoiding isn't a long term solution, so now we sabbotage our free will to come on the chance he will be there?" He thinks we should confront him again. I believe people like this don't change, and you don't keep them in your life, they are toxic. We have our own place and don't need to be here at all even, other than to see his younger bro and his parents. I really need people's opinions on this, do you agree with me that if you've confronted someone and they refuse to change no point in keeping a narcissist like that in your lives? My boyfriend doesn't talk to him or like him but he has naiveness with people (he thinks he's not). I've been screwed over by people like this and know better. Today I left their house because his mom, who is geniunely a psycho, never discplined her kids and will defend them even if they are wrong said to me: "just forgive him its the moral thing to do" and him nearly hitting me as "an incident". I literally started off polite with her then lost it when she kept saying this crap. She's the type of person who interjects in others problems. The day it happened she had the nerve to tell me to stay at an event I was insulted at. I am livid and honestly I'm going crazy about this feeling like I'm alone in this... My boyfriend hates him fyi but idk what it is, he's naive or what, he can't see confronting again won't do anything. He says "I'm not going to do this not talking thing". Idk what to do... I've spent hours explaining and debating why with him and he agrees on everything exept how to deal with him. What would you do in my shoes? Thanks guys for anyone who answers honestly. My dad said no matter what happened the fact he didn't come with me was a really rude thing to do, to leave you're SO alone on new years (and with covid you cant go anywhere)...