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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. I have previously posted my horrible break up story last week...but a quick recap, my boyfriend of 3 years (he's 41, I'm 28 ) broke up with me on Valentine's Day over the phone during my lunch break. This was the second time, as the first he did it over i.m. last June and I took him back towards the end of July. Now, my roommate is a social worker..so she is all about getting your emotions out. So I wrote this letter basically telling him everything I was disappointed with and with him. It's a good letter as you never get a word in edgewise with him...cause he's always right and a complete and utter narcissist. So there is no way I have had the opportunity to say these things before. So, most of my males friends say NO!! Most of the girls...say yes. So I am at a crossroad... Do I send the letter or not?
  2. I sent her a valentines day card, it was pretty funny I must say ( as I am humorous and awesome) . She sent me back the following. hey long time no see hey! thanks for the valentines card, just checked my emeails then, i ve been away at kangaroo island all last week. only one i got apart from a chain text, it made me feel special heheheheh. what are u up to this yr? ive got a house - back to finish my 3rd yr of uni hopefully other than that not much happening just got back from 2 months in - BIIIGGG holiday! was awesome. better go now its LUNCH TIME and i am starving!!! keep in touch. i deleted a bunch of things like locations and names. Should i invite her for cofee ??? CONSIDERING - I have asked her out before.
  3. Has anyone experienced this? I have been in NC for almost 2 months. I don't initiate contact, but she almost always emails me after big events. Day AFTER my birthday, day AFTER valentines day. And usually, when I respond with any type of questions, she won't write back. She asks me questions, and I always answer them upbeat and friendly...yet the same questions back to her go unanswered. I want to get back together. She dumped me for another guy after a fight. Most people say that she is regrets her decision...I just dont get it. We never had a relationship like this. For 4 years, we had a fantastic time...now, we are almost like strangers.
  4. So, my girlfriend and I broke up last night, and boy did it end horrible...Anyway, I'll start from the beginning. Ashton and I had an excellent relationship in the beginning. She was everything I wanted at first. Low maintenance. Encouraging. And accepting. My kids both liked her alot, infact, my daughter often called her mom as a bit of a joke thing, even though engagement wasn't in the picture. Well, the last 3 months, Ashton seemed to be really upset. I tried talking to her about it, and she shrugged off each attempt coldly. So, I just gave up. I'm not a pursuer when it comes to relationships, if a woman plays hard to get, or shows little interest, I will immediately back off. In this case, I did the same thing. So about a month later, our relationship really died down. We called eachother maybe 4 times a week, and our conversations never lasted long. I figured she needed space, so I gave it to her, and finally last night I had her over for dinner with my ex-wife, her husband, and my children. Well, before dinner, she blasts off on me about how I've been unsupportive of her, how I forgot to get her anything on Valentine's Day (Which is a big joke), and how I've been so unemotional. I told her that she wouldn't talk to me, so I thought she needed space. Told her that she didn't need my support, and I told her that I didn't even recognize Valentine's Day as a holiday. So, then she slapped me in the face. And I smacked her back. I'm not one to leave a threat unanswered. Male or female, if anyone strikes me with the intent of hurting me, I will attack them. So, then she started crying, and started cursing at me. I picked up the phone and threatened to call the police, and she ran out of my house crying. I broke up with her in an e-mail this morning. Now, I'm having trouble with the authorities, who came over to my home to question me tonight. I told them exactly what happened, and the officers, who seemed apalled by my vocations and beliefs said that they would return soon. I don't believe I did anything wrong. She struck me first, and I struck back. That is self-denense isn't it? Why are the authorities angry with me? Thanks, Kane.
  5. This doesn't make sense. Things seemed to be going fairly well between my boyfriend and I. We were together for just over a year. Then on Friday he said that we should just be friends. I don't know what to do, all I want is him back. I've had my heart broken before a few times, but its NEVER hurt like this. I can't listen to music. I've only eaten two graham crackers in 50hrs (i have no hunger no will to eat and the thought of food makes me nauseaus), I've lost interest in photography (a beloved hobby), I'm losing my will to live. The decision doesn't feel right. I'm so confused. I don't feel like he's given me the whole picture as to WHY he thinks things are better this way. I don't know if he's just trying to trick himself. Even the day before we were talking about Sweden and hypotheically if he'd stay there; he said of course he'd bring me along. Then things suddenly change the next day?! How can things even change so much since Valentines day when he gave me a lovely card and wrote Lots of Love xoxoxoxoxo ? I don't know what to do. All I want to do is have him back. I've barely been able to pause from crying since it happened. And when I cry its the kind of crying that's like I've lost a huge part of my soul and I have a hard time standing because my whole being is hurting SO much. What do I do? I want him back, but I don't want to screw things up. Every fiber of my being wants to be with him, and that if this is really the end between us, I need him to help me through it. I feel like I've almost lost the will to live.
  6. I just had to brag. It's so beautiful. A heart with lots of tiny diamonds - late Valentines Day present. sigh
  7. I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this, but I guess it is most appropriate for this question. I cut off contact with my ex back in October, held strong and didnt talk to her until she contacted me in late November, we had a good talk, then a fight a few days later. Again I went NC, she contacted me on Valentines Day and then I believe 2 other times recently. Now its not like we talk about anything involving us. I just found it a bit strange the timing of her contact. I just want to know what I should do from here. I've been doing alot better, but part of me still cares about her and I dont want to fall back into what I was doing when this all first started. My thought so far was to just allow her to contact me if she feels like it. Thanks for all your help once again.
  8. So this is an msn conversation, i edited out the names...its all one person talking, i split it up so ur eyes wouldnt bleed from the absense of paragraphs lol! enjoy! I dont think of valentines day as any more of any other day its an excuse... to force couples to show their feelings when really they should be all the time it forces a guy to make time for his gf when really he should anyways... it pulls a girl away from shopping with her girls, and a guy from spending time watchign the game with his friends to make them spend time together when really it should be anyways... it makes him do something for her, and her do sometihng for him... makes him think about her more, and her think about him more... when really... it shold always be like that Valentines day is just another day... thats all i dont knwo about you... but id rather get a rose unexpectedly on a random day from my princess than expect one on v-day i'd love a random card she made for me 4 weeks before my birthday than a card ON my birthday i'd LOVE for her to sneak up behind me and hug me from behind and hear her tell me she loves me and give me a kiss on the cheek when im just randomly walking down the hall instead of expecting it on our anniversary when somethings expected, its not as good but when that special person turns your regular normal day into a day that you cant stop smiling that really means something because they do it, just because they care about you
  9. I've liked this girl for quite some time, and thanks to the summer break, we've recently been hanging out pretty frequently, just the two of us (compared to last year, when we were both busy and rarely caught up over the entire year). There's been more messaging and SMS'ing than ever before so I feel like I've definitely got a foot in her life now as opposed to before, when I still felt like an acquaintance. Our get-togethers are still much like friends though - no holding hands, hugging, etc. to speak of. But they're sooo close to being dates: dinners and movies, shopping, beach at sunset - all just the two of us. I think she knows I like her, and she's told me she likes me too during an IM conversation, but is still too fainthearted and insecure to be sure about it being the same kind of like I have for her. I'd gotten her a pretty good gift for Xmas last year, so now I wanna follow it up and get her something for Valentine's Day, but I'm not sure what. It can't be too dramatic, just something simple which will let her know for certain how I feel for her, without it being pushy or confronting. She's the type who loves things cute and quaint, by the way. Any suggestions?
  10. Ok this is just a question for the ladies out there, maybe for the men too if you've tried this. I'm just trying to guage the kind of impact that my idea would have . Ok 1st thing. My girl is going to be away for Valentines day in Europe so she won't be in the country for me to give her the roses I was planning. Right, so I've found her hotel address in France so I was planning on sending them to her over there.How would you ladies out their feel if you partner did something like that for you? Thanks Oh yeah and one more thing, would you find a single rose or a bunch of roses more romantic
  11. Well, ex and I been split for about 13 weeks now, I've held NC, as hard as thats been.. Seeing a new girl now, but finding those old letters really tore me up. And she's not the same.. Was also a card from last valentines day, and everything was like "I'll love you forever, you will always be with me" etc. Funny how things change, I didn't cry, more numb than anything. I almost texted her, just saying hi, and how I found the old letters..I feel like mailing them back to her, as immature as that is. She may be seeing someone now, sigh.. I hope shes happy. (We dated for 4 years.. thought she was the one)..sappy I know.
  12. Hi, Let's say you have been dating a guy and during Valentine's Day he proposes to you with an engagement ring but you think he is still not the one yet or that you are not ready for it yet. What would you do? What would you say?
  13. Just wondering how or what plans you have for those of you in a cyber relationship? I'd like to get some tips...I also have a few ideas: 1. Get a postal office box address (for safety) and ask for his address to send each other surprises. It might not even arrive on time for some of us. 2. Get him or her a virtual gift (free on websites) like flowers, or candy, but they have a variety of stuff, even virtual money..haha. 3. Just send a simple e-card or make one digitally with pics. or maybe just do nothing...which is kinda boring. Anyone want to add to this list?
  14. I want to get my man something special. We've been together 2 years, & I want to set something up for us to do. I don't just want to get him some chocolates or a teddy bear and that's it. I want to set up for us to go somewhere, and do something. But I don't know what. & then on top of that I want to get him a gift. Any ideas on where we could go? What we could do? & what I could get him? thanks.
  15. well. this is my frist valentines day, with an actual valentine. im 16 and me and this girl have been dating for 8 months, and i love her to death. i strongly believe she is the one i would like to spend the rest of my life with. i am just kind of curious on what i should get her for valentines day. so far all i have on mind, or in the process of working on roses a card (thanks to enotalone) a jar filled with 365 things i love about her so she can draw one out every day and a notebook filled with song lyrics that i have written about her. what do you girls think of those things, and what would be some other good ideas. thanks for reading!
  16. Hi all, Before we all know it, Valentines day will be here. I'm sure most of you reading this are in the same boat as me. She broke up with me (i'm the dumpee) just after Christmas. I want to get some insight on this....I've been in NC, her too of course(she since day 1), would it be OK to sent a card? I mean an innocent one, not full of romantic, really heavy stuff, but a basic card, letting her know I still think of her. Would this be damaging? Would it be obsessing over her? I dont think roses are a good idea, as I think it may be too much and scare her away. Right now, I'm coming along in NC pretty good, and I dont think for me it would be a setback...Just wondering how she may feel about it.
  17. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half so this is our second valentines day. Last year he gave me a bunch of really sweet gifts and I gave him a lousy card so I wanted to give him something good this time. He really wants new camera so thats what I am going to get him. The problem with it is 1) He is very particular on what he wants so I had to tell him so he can chose his own. (I told him early because its a small town so I have to order online) 2) There really is nothing romantic about a camera So since both the romance and surprise elements are gone I was thinking of something I could do for him to make it more special. I am was thinking that maybe, since the camera is being shipped to my house, I could take some sexy/naughty pictures on it before I give it to him. The only thing is I am kind of self conscious and I do not really ever do that type of thing. I want to do it though, my only concern is...will it be weird or awkward since I don't do things like that very often or will it a nice surprise?
  18. So I've been in a relationship for a little over a month with a great girl. She was telling me how she got me these gag gifts for Valentines Day but wouldn't tell me what. This is the first time I've ever had a girlfriend on Valentines Day. Any ideas on what I should get her?
  19. I just started dating a guy. We've been on 2 dates, and we've talked a lot. Well, next week is Valentine's Day and I'm wondering if I should get him something. This is somewhat of a weird situation for me because I've always either been in a relationship for Valentine's Day where it's a given that gifts would be exchanged. Or I've been single where I know no gifts will be exchanged (well, I got myself some goodies, but who's counting ). But this is a different situation, so I'm wondering if I should. And if the answer is yes, what should I get him (like what would be "too much"). I love giving gifts, but I don't want to scare him off at the same time. Any ideas, stories, advice anybody would like to share? TIA!
  20. I asked a girl out a couple of months ago and she said no because she has a boyfriend. However, a couple of weeks ago they split up and we've been getting on quite well (not like best buds or anything but we have a laugh together etc). Anyway, today she asked if I'm going to be sending her a valentines day card? Possibly in jest I don't know. Obviously I was a bit surprised by this question and just said 'I'm sure you'll be getting thousands anyway'. The thing is now, having got over the fact that it was never going to happen, I'm now at the stage where I'm spending too much time - an unhealthy amount of time you could say - thinking about her. The other thing worth noting about her is that her mood towards me is inversely proportional to the attention I give her. If I spend too much time around her, I get the cold shoulder, but if I don't speak to her for a day or so she'll be right over to talk to me. Do I pass her off as an attention seeker and refuse to play her game or shall I investigate further and see if anything can happen?..... Also, any help on whether to send a Valentines Card would be much appreciates. Cheers.
  21. OK, I've been dating this wonderful girl for about two weeks now and want to get her something for Valentine's Day. I hate doing the cliche dozen red roses (even though her favorite flower is a rose), so I thought maybe a gift certificate to a day spa (massage) might be cool. She's busy with school, work and her son so maybe she would like a day to relax. Or I could just give her the roses. Any thoughts/advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.
  22. Just wondering if I should really let my boyfriend have it if he doesn't plan or get me anything for Valentines day. Also are guys THAT clueless that they wouldn't remember when that day was?
  23. And its a snowing like crazy up here in new england and this girl I have been seeing doesn't want to see me. I told her I planned on coming up regardless of the weather and she refuses pretty much to see me tonight. She said she doesn't want me to drive the 30 miles in the snow. It doesn't matter to me but she wants no part of it. I wonder whats up with that? We have been seeing each other for the past 6 weeks and spending alot of time together and she is always the one who wants to see me. This is making me think.
  24. This is long and I'm sorry in advance but I'm really hurt. The past couple of days my girlfriend has mentioned marriage incredibly to me. Every single sentence she has stated seems like had marriage in it. We've only been together 4 and a half months. I would change the subject often. I feel like getting married at 4 and a half months is ridiculously early for that type of thing. So she said this to me on a MySpace message: Last night about 8pm (before Valentine's Day, I already got her gifts for VD. Unfortunately I'm stuck in another city for business trip so I couldn't be with her for VD) I sent this back to her because she had been bugging me for a response. Last night she said this: About an hour and a half ago we talked on the phone. It's very awkward. She says "I'm trying to decide if I'm mad at you, I am not sure." I said "you can feel however you choose to, all I can do is be honest." Then seems like an eternity of awkward silence and then she says "well I have to go get ready for the doctor." In her voice she sounded really upset the entire time. Well I now know if she's upset. She says this just now: I'm UNBELIEVABLY hurt by this. I am crying right now as I type. I'm seriously considering ending it right now. You can research my past posts to see where else she's been immature, about moving in with me. I just don't know if I can continue this after that. What should I do?
  25. I know most of you guys are hurting today. For all those who are hurting today. Here is a nice big hug, from a big hearted Greek stud from New York (Sorry guys, that was for the ladies) . Oh, what the heck, a hug for the guys too. I can use one also. Day 50 of NC. We are going to get through this. I will take time, but all of you are going to come out of this stronger. JUST STICK TO NC, or SuperDave will come after you. LOL Happy Valentine Day everyone. I love you all. God Bless!
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