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  1. Hello! I have a new female friend but I kinda can't call her a friend. We have been "friends" for about a year and it was going good and she is so nice. But she doesn't respond to my messages. Sometimes she'll not respond at all or sometimes days later. It's really annoying. For instance she messaged me last night and asked how I was (i've had minor surgery so can't leave my house). She msg me before the surgery and I said I will need visitors as I can't go anywhere. Then I didn't hear from her for over a week until last night. Then I respond enthusiastically to her message she was updating me on her life saying I've inspired her to do videos etc. (we voice message mostly) and I give her info about me saying - It's so hard not being able to go out and congratulate her on how good her video was. AND NO RESPONSE! I would have thought there would be back and forth. This seems to happen every time! A couple of times in the past she's said "lets catch up on the weekend, I'll let you know what day"... the weekend comes and goes and she doesn't contact me. She doesn't address it. It just comes and goes. She doesn't keep her word. BUT SHE'S NICE ENOUGH! Basically I don't want her as a friend but she keeps contacting me occasionally. And I don't want to be rude so each time I let it slide. As she's a new friend I don't feel like it's my place to confront her about it. But I don't want her to keep messaging me because each time I get disappointed. I'm 38 and I have changed a lot so I don't have a lot of friends. I'd love it if she was a good friend. It's so frustrating. I feel like I am so responsive to strangers even. I've never experienced this kind of communication before it's really weird. What do I do? Or have you experienced this before?
  2. Happy Friday Everyone! I am a married female who has had a gay male best friend for over 45 years.....yes, we are getting old. My best friend played the organ at my wedding in 1979. My husband, myself and friend...I will call him Brady, all grew up together. My husband is not jealous so that was never an issue. So Brady and I usually talk everyday on FaceTime. We visit then say the Rosary together as we are Catholics. This year has been mega stressful for me. I had to go to court and take my granddaughter away from my oldest daughter due to abuse and neglect. My Mother went into extreme Alzheimer’s and I had to put her in a nursing home as we could not care for her any longer. I am very close with my Mother and she doesn’t even know who I am. That was devastating. I severely injured my back trying to care for Mother and had to have major surgery 4 weeks ago. I have been in a lot of pain since my surgery. Last week Brady FaceTimed me to chat as usual. It was a Sunday so he asked me if I went to Mass. I told him I was having too much pain. Well he became furious with me. He started telling me he was going to “hold my feet to the fire” about missing Mass. I told him I didn’t need him to hold me accountable and then I pointed out that he often skips Mass which is true although I have never tried to make him feel guilty about it. So Brady tells me he will say the Rosary alone and will pray for my intentions. I said ok as I was having severe sciatic pain. Brady said he would check on me in a few days. Well Brady has blocked me from calling him! He won’t answer my emails. I cannot believe how he is acting. I have helped Brady pay his bills when he has needed help. I finally cut him off money wise over a year ago but it didn’t seem to upset him. So I feel totally abandoned not to mention humiliated. I hardly ever called him, he usually called me, so why on earth block me? I guess it is his way of punishing me for offending him. I have had such a stressful year and he knows it so his actions feel especially cruel. I don’t think I could ever trust him after this. I sent one email asking him to call me to discuss the situation but he ignored it. So I am resolved about losing a dear friendship but I am struggling with the added grief that has triggered all the other losses I have been dealing with. I would appreciate any advice from this community. I would also like to help others who are dealing with losses and grief.
  3. I've always known I had issues with things like depression and anxiety, but after turning 25 recently it hit me how dysfunctional I am in general and I'm not sure what the best steps are to take to get help. I grew up with an alcoholic narcissist mother (father wasn't there much) and she sent me away to a wilderness and boarding school program at age 16. After getting out at age 18 I didn't know how to adjust back to the real world and started smoking weed all day every day. I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now been almost 7 years of stripping and I've spent the majority of my money on plastic surgery which was not a wise idea (I have severe body dysmorphia, not that its a valid excuse for my actions). Over time I've developed alcoholism myself and I have an average of 5-10 drinks almost every day, and more recently a bit of a coke addiction as well. I'm currently staying back with my mom as she recently had surgery and I've been helping her out, but now she is healed and wants me out of her house and I'm not sure what the best move is. She is aware of my situation but doesn't really seem too concerned about it (my father is mentally ill himself and though he is a loving dad, can barely help himself yet alone me). Do I go to rehab? Counseling? AA meetings? I can tell it's a matter of time before something extremely disastrous happens. I'm not trying to come off with a victim mentality as I realize I've done this to myself, I'm just genuinely unsure of what the next move is and don't feel like I have anyone to turn to and help me. I do have other family I can go stay with for awhile if need be but I still don't know the next steps to take for long-term solutions. Thanks in advance.
  4. has anyone had or known someone who has had a sinus lift and dental implants? how was the recovery? surgery? were they happy with the results? I'm pretty terrified of the idea but I think it will make a big improvement in my quality of life.
  5. Hello, So i am 20years old and i had a circumcision surgery last year. I didnt have a girlfriend that time so around 1 month ago almost a year after my surgery i was with a girl and i finally had sex after my surgery. Before my surgery i could last atleast for 10 minutes minimum but now i barely last 3 minutes, even less sometimes. We even had sex 3-4 times a day and even at that time i felt i was cumming at the very beginning let's say around 30-40 second? Like realllyyy fast. I am feeling very bad about this so this is why i made an account on this site just to ask if anyone knows anything about this had an experience or anything and how to improve this? Any response is helpful
  6. Ok so I'm sure some of you have read my post in the relationship thread about my fiance working out of town and us barely talking and so on. Basically what this boils down to is I'm unhappy. I have been extremely stressed due to the fact that he still has not been able to contribute to the Bill's at all. Except maybe $50. Now granted I can see where some of you would say he shouldn't have to pay for any of the bills here, if he's not currently here which I understand. but he's not even trying to help pay our cellphone bill. His solution to the fact that our phones are going to be shutoff is to just forget about it and go get a prepaid phone. Now I've had the same cellphone company for 7 years. Not to mention I've been working on rebuilding my credit after filing bankruptcy last year. So when he said that I was infuriated. I did calmly tell him that that is not an option nor the way i handle things. It's been harder because I had surgery 3 weeks ago and I missed a little over a week of work, on top of I'm part time and now they've cut hours so I don't even get what used to be the minimum of 25 hours a week. And I have considered getting another part time job, but on also trying to overextend myself and screw my shoulder recovery because I've also just started school. I've not had to worry so much because my veterans disability does cover the rent for the apartment. but there's still about $900 in bills that have to be paid every month. Which he used to atleast help me pay the electricity and the phone bill. I always of course covered my car and insurance. but now I'm basically scrambling to cover for everything. It has boiled down to the fact that I'm now having to move in with friends because I can no longer afford all the bills. His response was I'm sorry baby but thats a good idea and basically that was it. Mind you, it did take a bit for me to realize the only bill he has where he's at is rent to the people he's living with. Thats only 250. And he sends $50 child support every week for his daughter. I know he has child support taken out for his son. but he gets paid every week, where I only get paid every 2 weeks. And I'm lucky now if its $150 And he's currently making a good bit more than me. He goes to the gym every day on his dime and he buys protein powder and pre-workout supplements as well. But says he can't send anymore money. Is it wrong of me to be fed up? I've been thinking about ending things and just getting a fresh start. Especially since at 33 I'm having to move in with friends to get my together. on top of now I'm going to school and still recovering from shoulder surgery. Am I being stupid or what?
  7. Hi ENA, I broke my ankle at roller derby on 1/28/19; surgery to repair the bimalleolar fracture on 2/5/19. I had physical therapy for about 2 months after I was mobile, but due to an insurance snafu, I had to discontinue it about a month ago. I was given clearance to begin skating lightly again on 6/27/19, but after three attempts, my ankle just isn't having any of it. I bought new skates that come up over my ankle (as the surgeon recommended), and I wear compression socks to improve circulation, but I can't wear any type of sleeve or brace because my skates would be too small (although they may stretch a little once they are broken in more). I deal with pretty extreme stiffness from the injury, and the surgeon warned that this may be a lifetime thing, because apparently I have an uncommon issue where part of one bone is growing in towards the other one where there's usually only tissue. He said I could get another surgery to remove it, but it'll likely just grow back. So I'm already working with a disadvantage due to that. I do the "normal" exercises that loosen the ankle and assist with stretching it (circles, "tracing" the alphabet, stretching along a wall, etc), but it doesn't seem to have made much difference. At home I have a treadmill and free weights, along with a weight bench and weights to go on the bar over the bench, but those won't really do much in terms of ankle strengthening. I just continue to feel stiff and I'm not really even able to jog, let alone skate. I get pain on the outside of the ankle towards the foot, under where the new plate is. Does anyone have any ideas for at-home things I can do to try and strengthen the ankle so I can skate again? Thanks :)
  8. Hi everyone, I had an abortion (surgery) three months ago and until then I did not have sex. And now since I feel that I'm healed completely I had sex with my boyfriend but it was so painful as if I'm having sex for the first time and it start bleeding, and I thought it was just because I don't had it for so long and so we attempt for the second time the next day and the same thing happen again he can't just get inside of me. Please help I'm really in need of your help.
  9. I'm 30 and he's 26. Our relationship was great! We had a couple small arguments in the past and he would call his mom to come get him and all his stuff at my house. The Longest we stayed broken up was a week and the shortest was a couple days, in which he would always call or text telling me how much he loves me and can't lose me and he's miserable without me so I would then go pick him and his stuff up and everything would be good he would promise me he wasn't going to run again but then it happened! Everything was good up until I had shoulder surgery and I remember asking him plenty about if he was going to leave me once I had surgery and he would always say of course not baby don't think like that. Then I had surgery 3/29 in which he drove up to be with me after because he had to work! After surgery everything was great i was off work for my shoulder and he had gotten a job in my town moved in with me for good and things I assumed Were good between us or so I thought! I'm not going to lie things sometimes were boring as we got into a monotonous routine bc he would go to work mon thru Friday 430 to 1am and I would cook with my one good arm lunch everyday for him then he would always go back to work! Then come home we would stay up watching movies or Netflix then go to bed! We were still very intimate although it was a challenge we made it work! The thing is bc I couldn't do much being in a sling he had to help me a lot and I couldn't drive so it was strenuous on him. I got to where I was stuck in the house all the time bc I was recovering so he never had alone time granted it was only temporary a couple more months and I'm back to work and things back to normal! He only took this job bc of me! Anyways his bday came up and we celebrated 4 days in a row! Going out to eat the movies drinking with his friends (another couple we always hang with) it was a great week. I even spent over 130 bucks on him for his bday! Well then our year anniversary came up a couple days later and he got home from work claiming to be tired I was upset bc he hadn't acknowledged our anniversary at all and when I reminded him he was like oh my god I got to go to Walmart in which he did and came back with a card nothing written in it and the card was not even sweet ( no effort) then he went to work! So when he came home I was upset! He decided to go to bed but I was pissed so I went to the room he kept telling me to just lay down with him but I was upset telling him this wasn't working I felt like he was just going through the motions of being with me yadda yadda but he reassured me he loved me and did want to be with me. I was still upset so I went downstairs to sleep on the couch. Next morning he acted like nothing happened kept trying to talk to me but I was upset so I ignored him. He then sat down and told me if its not working for me then it's not for him either and started saying how I'm clingy don't ever hang out with my friends I get mad when he hangs out with his and all this crap! I'm thinking where the hell is all this coming from and how come I'm just hearing about it. I literally just had surgery and all my friends are married or working so hard to see them at the time. He then started to say well u just want me to leave and I would say no I don't but I'm not going to stop you so then he did it again! Give me the phone so I can call my mom he said so I did. He has a phone but no minutes. Anyways he starts packing all his things as he has always done before and I'm thinking its the boy who cried wolf he will be back! I'm asking him about the cable bill bc we recently got internet and cable package in which I put in my name only bc he promised to pay the bill bc he wanted the cable ( for sports ) not me I always asked what if we break up then he would laugh and say that's not going to happen. Anyways the new bill was coming up I asked how he was going to pay if he quits his job and he said he wasn't going to quit so I'm like what how are you gonna get back n forth with no car! He was driving my car but we only live a couple blocks from his work! He never answered so I always questioned that! Then he started taking his weight bench apart and I knew he was serious then but still thought he loves me he will he back once he starts missing me like always! So he leaves I'm upset crying pissed can't eat depressed... The works! I manage to make it 2 weeks no contact the longest ever still no word so I text his mom to tell him to call me then realized the time he was bout to go to work! I started getting antsy bc I really wanted to talk to him so I drove to his work! I pulled up and you not he's in a girls car just sitting there! He sees me I get out he gets out and I ask him who the heck is that he begins to tell me it's his ride. He lives 30 miles from work! Who tf is going to go out of their way to do that unless she lives in the same town as him! I asked how come he has never mentioned her before and he was like she's the supervisor! I'm like so that's who you left me for he insists no! So then he gets in my car and we had a long discussion about is going on and why haven't I heard from him he then goes to say he left bc he wanted to and I'm like I'm the one that got upset over our anniversary if that hadn't happend we would still be together! Then he goes on to tell me his family don't like me ( I thought his family loved me) his mom always texted me and his sisters always tagged me in Facebook family stuff. Then he says he just doesn't feel the same about me and I'm baffled where did this come from! I said the day we broke up he had told me he loved me like 50 times as he did everyday! I asked if he was just faking he said no he meant it at the time but he's been thinking then he starts to say he just needs time to think I told him how could he question our love and relationship like that! I tried to hug him but he pushed me off and told me to stop like I was nothing to him, Then I ask what he's been doing he said he's been partying and then I ask if he's been with anyone and he says no but I could tell he was lying so I asked him again and he says yes once I was so shocked I didn't actually think he had and even if he did wether he would tell me. So then I'm like are you serious it hasn't even been two weeks and I just had surgery you left me when I needed help so you can party and have sex with other girls! He doesn't say anything then he says he was drunk ok..... Said he didn't plan it and it didn't mean anything! Like ?!?!? So then I ask bout ten times if it's anyone I know and he just says he's not going to tell me so he don't even know why I'm asking! I immediately start to get furious with him and I can't believe he ruined any chance of us being together! Mind you he's already 30 min late for work he didn't have to talk with me or tell me that but he did! I'm thankful for that bc I would have just been miserable having false hope that he's going to come back for god knows how long! I asked him if he used protection he said yes he got it from his brother which made me sick to my stomach. Like just to tell your bro your gonna have sex with someone else gross! And he said he didn't plan it. So now I got all these visions in my head of him doing god knows what with God knows who? Who is she and all these questions like how could he? So I tell him to get the f outta my car and I never want to hear from him again and that's the last time we spoke! Exactly a month ago today so 2 weeks no contact! He's still working down the road and getting rides with that girl! Then today I'm on my way to pay my rent and I see them in her car him driving it to work! So I'm almost certain it's her! How could he? I'm still so miserable it hasn't gotten better! I wake up everyday just so upset! I'm trying to heal from my surgery and doing everything by myself while he just so easily moved on like what we had was nothing! We shared my apartment and since I'm not working all I see is him everywhere! As I said before all My friends work or busy so I'm stuck to wallow in my thoughts all day nothing I do helps I can't stop thinking about all of it it's always on my mind! I hate him for what he has done to me and to us and our future! The man who said he wanted to be with me forever and get married in the next year and have kids! What happened! I blame myself for not just going to bed that night we would still be together but I know if not then eventually he would've left regardless if he was so unhappy! I'm going crazy in my thoughts and just need some positive words from anyone! I don't go back to work for another month and can't really do much. Meanwhile he's out living it up and I'm miserable. How could he say he loves me and leave me in the situation I'm in! I've lost ten pounds and scared I'll lose more but no appetite. Not good for healing in this time. The pain is the worst in the morning as I'm not fully awake and the feelings come rushing in on me again! He was so perfect for me we were so good together and happy I thought I had found the one now I'm almost 31 single and no kids depressed living alone! Idk what to do! When will it be my turn?
  10. Please help, i have been in a relationship for almost 4 years, one of them it was a long distance relationship but throughout the relationship there been a lot of fights and discussions, something that was weird but ultimately seemed normal, but as time goes by it has escalated. My gf main arguments is that I am not strong enough and I don't seem manly, that I am clumsy and that it seems as I was always with my head somewhere else, that I am slow, and she calls me a kid. I am an introvert, and I take my time to do things such as cooking something or sweeping the floor or such but I don't consider myself dumb or inmature, I lived abroad for 6 years and at this moment I am living with my parents because I used my savings to do a masters degree and I am saving again for buying an apartment of my own, I personally think if that is not at least being a bit smart and independent, I really don't know what is. I've been hitting the gym for almost a year three days a week and taking proteins trying to asses her claims on my lack of strength but my ectomorph body won't show major growth despite advances on the weight I lift compared to when I entered and that gives here grounds to keep on complaining; also followed 6 months in a dance course to address another complain yet she still says is not enough cause I still look stiff while dancing. She has had several problmes during the last months, she did a laser operation on her, eyes then had a skin infection a cousin of her died and I've been with her day and night in the hospital at her home during and while at times she acknowledges then she says that I am no support for her because of "the way I am". I feel unrequited and generally sad, giving my everything and most of the times being shouted at or insulted with things such as slow or child when I take long to cook dinner or something like that. Being in this relationship feels like a chore, having to face that after returning from work. Most importantly there have been episodes where I've been physically attacked, never with full force but once it left a mark of scratches in my neck, I never do anything else than trying to hold her arms for her to stop. In those episodes she throw anything that is near against me or to the ground, twice i was hit with keys and she has destroyed three phones, one of which I lendes her after she destroyed the other, the most recent one she wanted to charge me because "it was my fault as I made her mad". On december I noticed that while being on a lunch That my parents offered for new years eve, she was absent minded chatting with some guy, I must admit I sttepped a line and checked her phone some days later and found out she was flirting with the guy and they were sending each other kisses and such. When we talked about it and cleared the air on the faults of each other in the episode she agreed not to talk with the guy again. After that I've done my best to bury the episode, regretfully I've brought it back on a couple of discussions, nevertheless, she brings that up when accusing me of something saying that "thats why she was flirting with him" and "that if I don't change she the same will happen with other guys". I found that extremely offensive and the last time she brought it up I gathered all my willpower and in the most calm manner said that if that is how she pictured the relationship it was better to break up now, after saying that and while stepping through the front door she shouted that if I left I was going to have to carry her body while inserting in her mouth several pills that she gathered from the house. I returned to make her spit the pills and when she sppited them the discussion resumed and told me that it was my ego that didn't let me change to be more "agile, strong, manly and independent" to which I only could answer that I am doing my best to be a human being in this world and to make her happy but if it isn't enough it was better for both of us to break up. Once again while reaching to the front door she grabbed a knife and threw it against a table injuring her fingers in doing so. She had to go to surgery because she cut her tendons and is now wearing a cast and have limited mobility on those fingers. During this time I haven't have the heart to break up, and still trapped doing my best for taking care of her, today is the third day in a row I get insults for failing at tasks sich as fast dinner, bringing the correct things to her lap or applying cream. I am afraid to even mention any of my feelings as it can unleash a reaction that can worsen her wound from surgery. But I cannot resist any longer, and for moments I dont know if she crossed the line or I'm genuinely screwing things up that I deserve the insults. I'm lost, tired and desperate. Ps I suggested her to go to a psychologist following the knife episode, at first she agreed, but on another occassion I reminded her about it she said I am doing it for me and did a movement that hurt her wounded finger, luckily nothing serious.
  11. Hello, Im new here so not sure if this is the right place for this. Anyways over the last weekend my girlfriend of 2 years made the decision to take a break which caught me totally off guard. To get to the point a little quicker over the last year i got too comfortable and started to take her out less (almost never) and she started to feel neglected which I totally understand. I asked her to talk a few days later and we did for about 3 hours where I put it all on the plate admitting that I totally saw where I went wrong and that she means the world to me and that I can turn myself around. She told me she is still very much in love with me and doesnt want it to end but that I need to put in the work to show her I really mean it. To give a little more information about myself I am preparing over the last few months for some surgery that is probably the thing I am most fearful of in this world but it needs to get done. Her mom reached out to me and talked to me about it and she told me she would really like to see me with her daughter and so did her brother, I spent thanksgiving day with her and her family mind you this is about 4 days after we broke up. I really want to make this work and keep her in my life she truly means the world to me and im just not really sure what to do at this point. I am treating this as I am completely starting over in terms of making my mentality that I am falling in love with her again and talking her out on dates (Like I should have been) and really showing her what she means to me. Any input would be amazing and im sorry for being kind of all over the place in this post im not usually someone who posts to threads. Thanks
  12. I’m fragile. I’m so fragile that sometimes I hurt myself on purpose. I cut my hands open like they were in a need of a surgery when in reality they’re not. I like the pain the cuts make; I like the way the blood tribbles out of the wounds and runs down my arms; somehow it makes me feel safe again. Hurting myself makes me feel safer and calmer. I’m so fragile that I cry myself to sleep and hope to never wake up again. I cry in the shower and I cry in my room when my parents are in the living room watching TV-shows thinking I’m okay. They should think again because I’m way less than okay, I’m sinking and drowning into my own sadness but they don’t see it. I don’t want them to see it, they would only make it worse. I’m so fragile that I stay awake until it’s light again so I wont dream about that certain someone or about things I can’t never have. I’m so fragile that I smile and laugh as if I was the happiest human on Earth. They don’t know that I hurt myself, cry everytime I’m alone, feel like I want to die. They don’t know and they wont know because I plan to stay fake-smiling and laughing as long as they believe it.
  13. Ok, my health isn't perfect. I have Fibromyalgia, Pernicious Anaemia and have had spinal surgery (injury related) and also recent major surgery to remove a huge blood clot (again caused by injury) that also required rib removal, vein graft and stent plus several blood transfusions. My bf and I have been discussing long term contraception options and neither of us want (or already have) children. The pill can cause hormonal imbalance and may induce risk of blood clots, so not at all ideal for me regarding my clinical history. Plus bf is steadfast against me taking the pill as it, obviously, may adversely affect me. He has said several times he could have a vasectomy, however he is 10 yrs younger than me (25) and I doubt Drs would be inclined to accomodate this at his age. So I could be sterilised, however this would be further surgery and bf isn't happy with me undertaking more complicated and invasive surgery than his potential vasectomy, in consideration of my previous and existing health conditions. Please could anyone give an outside perspective as to what they would consider the most fair and effective long term contraceptive method in this scenario. Many thanks.
  14. I am 25 and I'm 5'5". Women hate short men. We can't make them feel "feminine" or "protected." And dating us is a liability because the kids will be short. And I understand...everyone has their preferences. Women almost universally want tall men, at least 5'10 or over, usually 6ft or more. I don't want to have to settle for someone I'm not attracted to. I have a handsome face, I'm in great shape, have a very good job...but the height ruins my entire package. I'd almost rather be butt ugly and tall, because then I could at least get plastic surgery. Plus, ugly men usually get a pass if they're tall. And please don't spew any bs about confidence...I am actually confident in myself in ever area but this. You can be as confident as you want, it won't change the fact that women simply hate short men. I know if I live as I am now, I will be forever alone. So I'm considering either suicide or trying the height surgery if I can get enough money. I just don't know what to do. Life's not fair, and I know that. Sucks that women hate me for something I have zero control over
  15. I'm generally a very stable and rational kind of guy, or so I'd like to think. I don't suffer from any incontrolable emotions, phases etc. Apart from one... This is my neurosis, and I can't shake it. It's my physical appearance - namely my face. Starting literally since I was in primary school, I have been unable to judge how attractive I am - today, I'll look in the mirror one minute and see a genuinly handsome lookin face, but the next minute, I'll see the most awkward ugly mug on the planet. It even seems to differ hugely depending on the freaking mirror I'm looking at, or the light levels/directions. 90% of a year I'll be cool with my appearance, even confident - and then, I'll plunge into self-pity over it. I'm at the point now where I don't care whether it's psychological or not, I want to do something physical about it for my own sake. The biggest thing I have is with my nose, which I am convinced is just slightly too big and slightly too blocky to not look awkward - combined with my chin which I am convinced is just weak enough to make my nose look even worse. Now, to you guys, if I showed you a pic, I'm betting the majority of you wouldn't notice these things unless you really analysed it. But I really think these subtle things detract from the rest of my face, which I'm totally cool with. I was thinking about spending the rest of my savings for my year out on a minor nose job and perhaps a chin augmentation. That probably sounds rash, but I've literally come to this conclusion every time I've thought about it for the past 4 years. I've already paid for about 5 months of round the world travel. Cosmetic surgery is so insanely expensive it'd take up all the rest of my cash, and even then only with my parents going halves. So, what do you think? If anyone has had nose/chin cosmetic surgery I'd love to hear from you particularly.
  16. Hello to start. My wife and I have been together for 21 yrs.. owned several businesses and recently separated. Oct. I found out she was talking to an old class mate for 2 wks and confronted her and whoa, 2wks, SHE fell in love, talks of engagement, lots of pics in our home. Even when we decided to let her back home, the day of she texted him "I will always love you and am going home for the kids not him". Well I tried but could not get over it. She recently had major surgery and being the man for my kids and her I was there. Last week it escalated to the point of putting her out again because she wanted to argue in front of the kids and I refused to. She left with teen kids and tried to have me served with papers for support, well I eluded that. While home, I was served with foreclosure papers, yes, 9 mos of no mtg payments, 5 bounced checks(hers). She won't talk to me, she says we need our space. I decided to move on to another state but I indeed miss and want her back, yeah yeah I know why rt? Shes my soul mate, I can't function rt now w/out her. She has no money but I do. I refuse to give or support her in any way if she wants support and won't even give it a chance. Whats a man to do, thanks??? The silent game is a killer!!#
  17. Hi, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. It's been going really well, he is very loving and kind. We get alone sooo well and thoroughly enjoy each others company. We have been away together several times during our short relationship. 3 weeks ago he went into hospital to have surgery. I helped him book the surgery date and encouraged him to go. I made sure he knew I would support him and be with him. After the survey he faced many complications (life threatening ) he was suppose to spend one night and has been there for over 3 weeks. The problem is I feel very alone and pushed away. I made sure I came to visit him the day after surgery. I kept away the day of the surgery because I was aware his family were there and didn't want to intrude. The day I came we planned around his family visiting as he didn't feel it was the time nor place to introduce or explain who I was. Unexpectedly his family arrived earlier than planned and there was nothing I could do. I ended up staying at the hospital all day until the evening. He was quite unwell and I was very concerned, therefore didn't want to leave his side. The next day I came, he called me selfish and had a real go at me for "barging in" when it was an emotional time and he wanted privacy with his family. I was deeply hurt and felt like a piece of #### on his shoe. I have to ask to come and see him and plan around his family. He feels uncomfortable introducing me as he is quite high status and I come from a working class family. I personally think if you love someone (as he said he does) it wouldn't matter. Yesterday I asked him if I could see him anytime soon. He said come tomorrow. Today I text him saying, shell I come and see you tomorrow morning as planned. He responded by saying" will call you tomorrow afternoon". I instantly got the hint and am quite sure he won't phone me as he said he would. I am really confused as he has been the sweetest most loving person I've ever met. He is a mature man a few years my senior And I know he wouldn't mess me around. Please answer my question... (why) from an outsiders point of view, what do you think. One last thing. He likes to come across as a strong invincible man, he is an extrovert and does not like people seeing him weak or vulnerable. Sorry for the long post, I really appreciate all you guys that reply.
  18. Hello all, I’m having surgery Monday. As some of you who have been following me on this crazy journey know, I’ve had a health scare that never got resolved. First there was the Urologist back in November who did a cystoscope and found my bladder to be normal on the inside. The biopsy came back benign of tissue she took. But she said the bladder mass was on the outside of my bladder. I then saw my Obgyn Who refused to operate because it was above his skill level. Which I’m grateful for his honesty. He referred me to a Urogynecologist whom couldn’t do anything so she then referred me to a Oncology Gynecologist. The Oncology Gynecologist then sent me for an MRI that shows the mass grew a little bit. So she decided I needed surgery and she would remove it because she’s good with more complex surgeries. So now Monday is the big reveal! I go in for surgery now having concrete answers. This lesion has troubled different doctors. I pray it’s nothing but benign. All I do know is it’s causing problems physically and psychological as I’ve had anxiety over it! I ask for thoughts on Monday and well wishes! I of course will let you all know what it is she sees. Thank you, Lisa
  19. Bettyyy

    Goodbye

    Hey, everyone I'm not even sure why I'm posting here. I guess it's because over time, this site was my go-to place when I was struggling. Either way, I am seriously considering suicide tonight. I found my Oxy pills from my last surgery that I never used. I know this will put my family through so much pain, and knowing that makes me selfish. But I just can't anymore. I'm tired of feeling like a failure and that no one will ever want me. I hope death really is as peaceful as they say. Thanks for all posts.
  20. Guys,anyone had varicose vein surgery?I had and I regret for the choice of clinic.It was used stripping method and nobody explained me anything.Now instead of veins I have 7 scars.On internet there is not much about these scars.Anyone knows what to do with scars?And how long it takes to heal scars?There is nothing much on internet.
  21. I recently reconnected with an old childhood friend let's call him T, he asked for my number and started flirting with me a lot. I was sort of in a weird spot before I talked to him with this other guy B, he is also my childhood friends and he has helped me with a lot of tough situations in the pats he is honestly my best friend and I have hoped for almost a year that we would become more than that but it didn't work out because I dated B's best friend before and B has commitment issues. Anyway when T came along I sort of took the opportunity and talked to B and kind of ended my crush for B from their and it feels really good, because T is great and I want to get to know him and I thought that it could be a sign to finally move on. Me and T started talking almost non-stop for a week he would text me good morning and good night and ask me what I am doing and he seemed very interested, we did have a some awkward silence moments but I figured this was normal when people first get to know each other. Now a week later he suddenly stopped texting me and I honestly thought he had this work thing which he did, but then after that work thing was over he still hasn't texted me I decided to text him and ask him whats up he just said that he been going through something and he was upset but it will pass and things will work out and he stopped going on social media and I could really sense that things are different and he is not making it up. 3 days later, still no text so I decided to text him to check up on him, it turns out that he was getting a minor surgery which he previously told me about. Over text he sounded different before he was very enthusiastic and used a lot of emojis and asked a lot of questions but now he seems drier. It could be because of his surgery and because of that thing he was going through. Nevertheless, when I texted him the day of his surgery he hasn't talked to anyone else in the past 12 hours and he replied 15 minutes after I texted him, I take this as a good sign, meaning he thinks I am important to him. I mean he is polite but I don't think he is just being nice, because he could have simply replied later . I don't know what to do, I told him that he should go and rest since he is spending the night in the hospital and that week when we first reconnected he told me that he want to get to know me and that we have a lot of time. it seems weird that now things have changed. What should I do? I feel very annoyed and frustrated and almost anxious I don't know if it's because I stopped going after B and hoped things will work out with T but I feel sad and heart broken I really hoped things would workout between us and eventually become a couple. I honestly don't think he was looking to just become friends he was really going at it with the flirting.
  22. It's my birthday today and how different is it than last year! Last year i was in so much pain from trigeminal neuralgia, had radiation and one brain surgery that both didn't help, Was a zombie from all the medication and oxycodon, gained 20 kilos from that, was facing yet another brain surgery and was starting euthanasia because things were hopeless. And was single lol This year i am pain free for almost 10 months now, rid of all medication for 8 months now, work fully again, lost 14 kilo, have all my energy back and life is good again! And am in a relationship for close to a year now.... A lot to be thankful for! Especially that that pain is gone! Though i am scared it will ever return.... Only complication from that very risky surgery ( removing part of the tumor which was the cause, high risk surgery) was a constant teary eye, all day long every day, every three minutes i had to wipe it dry, but since 2 weeks even that is almost gone! Just a little teary for the first hour of the day, then nothing anymore! Think I'm probably the happiest person in the world right now! Lol Many Thanks to a lot of you who have been there for me for those terrible years! Xxx
  23. This isn’t for me, I’m asking for freind. Basically my freind hurt his foot at work, he tripped on a forklift. He’s been out of work for two years and had to have surgery. Hes not able to go back work. He also had to fight them to get workman’s comp, they didn’t even want to pay for dr visits. He did get a lawyer but months and months of waiting, they decided to they weren’t going settle. Now they are trying to get a judge rule on stopping WC payments and he was also fired. Does he still have a case here? Any help would be great. I feel like he’s getting treated unfairly.
  24. Hello everyone here, this is my first time posting and first time doing any of this, I usually wouldn't resort to getting help of the internet but I really like this woman and none of my friends are even close to dating experts. I made an account trying to be Anonymous since I don't want her to find out I am doing this. So anyway, ill get to my situation and try to explain it as best as I can. So me and this woman met online over a video game about 3-4 months ago. We have been friends ever since and got really close to each other lately. About two weeks ago we finally admitted that we liked each other however we live in different states so we did not really think about dating. We decided for her to fly up to see me for a week or two as I showed her around my city and have a fun time together (this has not happened yet). We also planned a mini road trip to go sight seeing around my state (Which i'd like to keep anonymous). I am 21 and this woman is 25. We frequently message and Snapchat each other. About a week ago we thought it would be crazy if we actually dated and it wouldn't even be so hard considering how cheap flights are to and from our cities and we decided it would be a very doable thing and that we should give it a go. We started flirting and sometimes dirty talking each other online preparing for this trip. However a lot of things came up in her personal live such as surgeries and other things she needs to attend and she is feeling very down and needs to sort some things out before she can come up and visit me which could be months from now. She said she needs a friend during this time and not a relationship and I am trying my best to support her but I am not very good at reading women and I have not been in a proper relationship before so I am worried if I am doing something wrong. I don't know what I can do during the couple of months I need to wait to continue to support her without messing anything up. I have been talking and playing games with her every day and every day I feel more attached to her and I feel as though I am someone who falls in love really easily, however I know it would be stupid to say this to her right now as she is going through a lot of Sh*t (excuse my language). She says she "doesn't mind the flirtyness but maybe to tone down on the dirty talking". She says she doesn't want to date while she is depressed and I said I will wait for her whenever she is ready and that i'm here to help her through this. I definitely don't want to come off as desperate but I don't want to lose her. I want to wait for her but I'm not sure how to go about the waiting to keep the sexual tension between us and like I said earlier I am very horrible at reading what she is thinking. I don't know how much she is into me and I am just really confused a lot of the time and don't know what to do. I hope someone can give me some advice so that I can use it to keep the tension between us and keep her into me so that after her surgery and recovery and ordeals are over, that she will still be into me and still wants to try a relationship between us. I am trying my hardest not to f*ck this up because I care a lot about her (excuse my language again). I guess I am very scared about this and that I will lose her If I do something wrong. I am trying my best to make her laugh and smile whenever I am talking to her. I guess I am worried that she will no longer want to date me when she recovers or that I will get "friendzoned". Once again I am horrible at reading a woman, I never know what they are thinking. Thank you.
  25. Hi everyone. I'm a woman in her late 40s, and I chose this name because part of me thinks I should know better by now. I'm having a really hard time getting over someone and my feelings are just all over the place. I met a man online; he's 14 years older than I am. He's in the US and I'm not, which is of course a problem, but from the beginning I told him that I'm trying to move back to the US (I'm a citizen), and that I've been applying for jobs. We started writing to each other, then Skyping, and then talking on the phone all day. We are both writers and teachers, so we had a lot in common. We started exchanging our writing, commenting it, and it was all really exciting. He came on really strong... he was the one who started writing to me and was always enthusiastic, full of praise, very caring. We had long conversations about books and movies that we had in common, and many, many other things. He sent me presents (like flowers for my birthday, or one of his books, or a movie for my children). He introduced me to his best friend via Skype, we made plans for projects together, etc. etc. Since things were so intense, I proposed we meet, which we did. I went to visit, and he had prepared everything so that it would be unforgettable: gifts, concert, dinner... like out of a movie. At some point, he even said that we should consider getting married. Things were far from perfect in the bedroom, though, and he had performance problems. I asked and he said it took him a while, no problem, so I thought we could just give it time. I was crazy about him... I could wait. We had the summer all planned: I had a conference coming up in June, and he had bought plane tickets so that he could meet me there. We were discussing traveling to his friend's house later (we were looking at hotels, etc.), and he insisted on coming to my country to meet my children and parents, right about this time of year. At first I thought it was too fast, but then I thought I should trust someone for a change. And then bam! In late May he started having some rather serious health problems (eye problems, but also skin problems... he has had a history of skin cancer). I tried to be there, and was always asking, calling etc., but I began to get a different response: more distant, sometimes saying he couldn't speak, etc. I suspect he was drinking. In any case, it took only one week, and he changed completely. He sent me a text message (!) saying he had to have surgery because the issue was serious, he was really depressed and couldn't sustain a relationship right now. I wrote asking if we could talk, but he refused, but said we could text a bit. All I got out that was that he thought I was great, but things wouldn't work out because of the distance. There was no arguing: it didn't matter that we were scheduled to see each other in a couple of weeks, nor that I am applying to a number of jobs in the US, and I'm pretty sure I can get one, or that we can actually both travel. The last I heard from him was about 2 months ago, when he wrote briefly to say he was depressed, about to have surgery, and he hoped I was well. So I'm having a tough time. One day I wonder if he has cancer, and should I call. The next I wonder if he's depressive and alcoholic. I think the hardest part is, I can't quite seem to make sense of this experience. I cry all the time, and I just feel really awful.
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