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Hey :) So, because I (18F) am a very shy person (I've never been diagnosed with social anxiety, but I relate to a lot of the symptoms), I have always been scared to date - scared to put myself out there and actually TALK to the people I like (scary thing). But some time ago, I have visited a city which is like 6 hours away from my home with my sister and we met a friend of hers there. And well, we spent some time together. Even though it was mostly my sister who talked to him, I developed a crush on him. (I don't think he really felt the same, although he spent one hour editing a picture which only I was on - he's into photography) My sister and I have been home for some time now and I decided that I want to try and act on that crush - which I have never done before. But now I feel kind of powerless and miserable since he lives so far away. He and my sister know each other from playing games together, so she suggested I join them when he's there. But she also said that it'll probably take some time until she can arrange something. Now here comes my big problem where I hope u guys can give me some advice: How do I get in contact with him without being too obvious? My sister gave me his number, but texting him would be obvious, wouldn't it? I know he does live streams (sadly not that often), so would it be weird to interact with him via life chat? Or do I text him via discord which he uses sometimes? Is it a dealbreaker to make your interest too obvious? I'm so clueless honestly, and so scared of butchering it. Help :c I know this crush will go away as time passes but I've never felt so close to actually acting on my crush and getting out of my comfort zone. Thank you so so much in advance for your advice!
I (16F) am about to be a junior in high school, and I have liked this boy (16M) who sat next to me in my math class (and was on the track team with me) since the start of last year. I soon became a pretty big crush. He knew that I liked him because my sister's boyfriend told him. I eventually formed a connection with him, and we waved at the start of math class and talked as well. He was really sweet and of course that made me like him even more. Then, he suddenly and indirectly mentioned his girlfriend to me. This was right after an exchange we had through Instagram DMs that lasted a week, so it's likely he mentioned this on purpose to indirectly tell me he was taken. I was upset of course, but we still talked often and I thought we were building a friendship. Then, a few weeks later he started mentioning his girlfriend more and more to me, but I didn't really think that much of it. One day I asked for his snap (as a friend) and he proceeded to give me an account he never uses (he had a different main account he was on in class all the time). Then, he sent a snap to me of him and his girlfriend cuddling then proceeded to leave me on opened and never snap me again. I was devastated as this was a guy I looked forward to talking to every day and a connection I so valued. It was clear that this had to do with my crush on him and his relationship status, but I wasn't looking to steal him and just wanted to be friends as I genuinely thought we were, and I thought he'd know this. He was still always super nice in class and at track practices, and he acted as if he had nothing against me, so I believed this and tried to forget that anything ever happened. So we kept talking and on the last day of school I asked for his number. He agreed to snap it to me, seeming not to mind at all, but he never did. My sisters tried to assure me that he forgot, but in my heart I knew it was for the same reason he gave me a dead snap account. I was so sad, but I could not get over this guy because we did talk often and in my mind we did have a friendship. I sent him a reminder on snap, but remembering that he would likely not see it on this account (he left it on opened six weeks later), I sent another on Instagram (we had DMed on Insta multiple times before so this wasn't new), which he did not reply to (he's very active on Insta). I know, dumb move. I eventually decided to let it go. On his birthday, I sent him a birthday wish and insta, and he actually did reply to this. So a few days ago, I sent him a message just asking him how his summer is going which he completely ignored. I feel terrible about this now. I now realize that asking for his number and sending that message were likely overstepping boundaries that he already tried to establish with me. Especially since he has a girlfriend and isn't trying as hard to keep the friendship I thought we had, I feel like an awful person. Just for context, I am quite shy, moved through several schools, and have struggled socially for a long time. This boy is much more popular and attractive than I am, so my definition of a friendship is likely different than his. My question is, how can I move on from such a crush, who has a girlfriend and has little interest in being my friend? How can I move past knowing that I have been inappropriate and wrong with asking for his number and messaging him? I will very likely see him again next year, so is there any way I can clear this up with him, knowing he probably has a strong distaste for me?
TL;DR: New girlfriend says she has high sex drive but extremely hesitant to do anything sexual, says I'm not doing anything wrong. What can I do to make her more comfortable/interested? Quick info that will probably be useful: I'm 32 and pretty huge 6'4" 320 lbs. She is 23 and pretty small 5'1" 95 lbs. I have had a lot of sexual experience. She had sex with 1 guy before and it wasn't very often. I have a vasectomy, she knows about it. Both of us do not want kids, ever. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 3 months. We met online and have a legitimately amazing connection. When we originally discussed sex, she stated she had a high sex drive. I said mine was about about normal and we both agreed sex was important to us, but she said she wanted to 'wait'. Her living situation was less then ideal and I own a house so she quickly moved in with me. She has some sensory issues and prefers sleeping in separate rooms, especially due to my snoring. I would rather she slept in my bed, but I am ok with her having her own room and bed. She made it clear at the beginning of the relationship that she wanted to "wait" to have sex, but never specified what she was waiting for exactly, other then 'until she was comfortable'. We did end up having sex within a week or so of her moving in. The sex was great, but she said she felt like she was going to pass out from over exertion and we had to stop before either of us had an orgasm (she said she can't orgasm unless masturbating). The sex lasted almost an hour and a half, that's on the average to low end of normal for me, but I understand that that can be a lot for some women. She refused ALL sexual contact after that for just over 2 months. I bought her very nice vibrator she could use on her own, to help her get in the mood, or do as she pleases but she refuses to use it (she said she has never owned or used a sex toy before). I ask for hand jobs or oral sex, etc. or if I could preform oral sex on her (which I really enjoy) instead of actual sex to try to keep the relationship strong, as well as keep interest but her answer is always "maybe later", and it never happens. I had a sit-down with her at about the 2 months mark and told her I could not continue the relationship if there wasn't going to be anything sexual going on. I explained that I was in a 'loveless relationship' before for multiple years and I refuse to go through that again. She said she understood, that I was being reasonable and that she would try to work on it. She assured me I wasn't doing anything wrong, and she just wasn't ever in the mood, and she got overwhelmed thinking about it sometimes. A week later we had sex and it was even better then the first time, I kept it to a reasonable length this time and I reached orgasm, and she was quite pleased about that. But since then, it's back to the way it was before. She has mentioned previously that her ex would never want to have sex and she pretty much had to beg him. Oddly, she considers oral sex equivalent to actual penis-in-vagina sex. I am very open sexually. She has a certain, slightly embarrassing (to her) fetish that she told me about (with great hesitation). She said she has never done anything with the fetish before. I told her I would do anything she wanted, but she has been too embarrassed/shy to try anything. If we are watching a movie in my bed and I try to initiate sex, or sexual play, she quickly gets up and leaves the room. She says she doesn't even want to make out or anything "because it could lead to other things." I feel like shes not telling me something, she swears up and down that shes just not in the mood and gets overwhelmed. Things are not adding up. How can I help her out, and save the relationship?
I really like this girl that I work with and we’ve been on a few dates. I’m 17 f and shes 19 f. We both have never dated anyone else or even had our first kiss. I was the one to ask her out and things have been going good, I know she’s interested in me, but she’s just so damn anxious. I know it’s not her fault but I have anxiety issues too and things are just not progressing because of this. I made the leap and hugged her, but I can’t make a move beyond that. I thought she may be opposed to affection so we had a conversation about boundaries and she assured me that I wouldn’t make her uncomfortable with anything. The most affectionate thing we’ve done is hug and we didn’t even do that until our 3rd date. I just don’t know how to get her to stop being so nervous. She keep apologizing for “being awkward” and I keep reassuring her but she never calms down at all. She literally just left my house less than an hour ago, I initiated a hug before she left, and it was a normal hug, but she’s so anxious that she thought she messed it up somehow. After we hugged, she said,”sorry Im so awkward.” What do I do? She’s technically the “boy” in the relationship, and I don’t want to overstep. I hate the idea of taking the more dominant role, and I really don’t want to be the one leading the pace. I need her to make the next move. She’s made it clear that she enjoys being the “man” in the relationship- so how do I make her comfortable enough to do that?