Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'self-esteem'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Relationships
    • Dating Advice
    • Relationship Advice
    • Infidelity
    • Cyber Relationships
    • Friendship and Friends
    • Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
    • Abuse and Violence
    • Long-Distance Relationships
    • Age Gap Relationships
    • Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
    • Trust and Relationships
    • Marriage/Long Term Relationships
  • Breaking up and Divorce
    • Breaking Up Advice
    • Divorce Advice
    • Getting Back Together
    • Healing After Break Up or Divorce
  • Personal Growth
    • Personal Growth
    • Career, Money and Education
    • Grief Loss and Bereavement
  • Families
    • Parenting and Families
    • Pets
  • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
  • Sex and Romance
    • Sex and Romance
    • Pregnancy
  • Emotions and Feelings
    • Emotions and Feelings
    • Jealousy
  • General Forums
    • Forum Assistance
  • Journals's Journals
  • Journals's Private Journals
  • Off Topic's Topics
  • Book Talk's Topics
  • Travel and Culture's Topics
  • Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics

Categories

  • Articles
  • Career & Money
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Breaking Up & Divorce
    • Marriage
  • Personal Growth
  • Parenting and Families

Blogs

  • Articles
  • Youtube

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


About Me

  1. I wish I was pretty. At school all my friends are drop dead gorgeous. Everyone has changed their look coming back prettier than ever, while I have looked the same for basically all my life. Sometimes my friends say that I'm pretty when I self-doubt myself. But I don't think it's true. Every morning I look into the mirror and see all the things wrong with my face. My face is too long, my nose has a huge bump on it, my eyes are to far apart, I have too much acne. I hate everything about it. My cousin is extremely pretty and I always wish I looked like her. My sister is so pretty and always gets compliments. I'm a person who always preaches self love and confidence when I actually have none. I'm always wearing a sweater even on the hottest summer days because I dislike the way my arms look. I want to pretty like the others. I wish I had enough confidence to post on instagram. I wish I didn't always delete every photo I took of myself.
  2. I was giving my partner oral sex, he was moaning as if he was into it, and then he pauses and starts talking about a female we both know, he noticed wasn’t at an occasion we were just at. he first said i don’t think it’s the right time to say this, then proceeded to say it anyway. I stopped oral and got quiet. took a while to process everything. is my partner just not into me? why is my partner stopping oral pleasure to mention this? am i in the wrong for being uncomfortable? should i just let it go?
  3. So I’ve been doing research into how to improve my self esteem. I came across a “celebrity therapist” and hypnotherapist named Marisa Peer. She has a lot of videos on YouTube and has done Ted talks etc. Her theories seem to make so much sense but I’m struggling with her claim that she has transformed severely ill patients after a few sessions by treating the 3 core causes of their issues, rather than the symptoms of their depression etc. I have been trying out one of her practices for the last few days and I’ve got to say, I do feel a lot better and that’s making me consider purchasing one of her courses (she has free short ones I could trial I think). I can’t find much evidence of her being a therapist etc as google searches come up with mostly her videos and website but her courses etc have been reviewed with high ratings on blogs etc. So I’m wondering if anyone here has tried her courses etc and could vouch for her or say actually she’s a self inflated phony? I know the few reviews I’ve found on blogs are good but I’m skeptical, they could have been given it for free and felt obligated to give it a good review. Thanks
  4. 2019 wasn't the best of my life, alone and at peace today, doing my own stuff for quite some months. This is a 6 months update on how am coping with anxiety, getting things right with my life. A relationship which i felt was going to be best for me & her turned out to be a very bad mistake. It was a never to be a relationship in the end, something i really shouldn't have put myself into without verifying facts and knowing well the person am getting involved with. Boundaries were crossed, i lost respect for myself in the end. While getting through it i started developing lot of self pity, lost my self esteem, self worth, confidence, always looked down upon myself, ashamed of my behaviour, developed very bad anxiety issues, caused truck loads of other health issues. there wasn't a day where i wouldn't wake up, look in the mirror, feel sorry and sick of the person i had become. I wished for the day to end soon but another day was waiting with everything repeating , an infinite loop. Spoke a lot about it in the forums, many good souls here really helped me look at it from a different perspective, still something was keeping me hooked on to the pain and memories. And then one day the therapist happened. To be continued...:)
  5. I just don't understand it and it's really frustrating. It's been happening WAY too often lately, but everytime I talk to a girl either from Tinder or someone I meet in person we exchange a number of texts talking and getting to know each other with some flirting going on between both of us. But as soon as I make plans with them they agree to it, but then boom they cancel usually the day we're supposed to get together or literally a few hours before. They ALWAYS hit me with the excuse of "oh sorry not feeling well tonight" or some crap like that. I just assume they're out with their friends or hanging out with a different guy instead, so I quickly lose interest and stop messaging them; in which kills the communication entirely because they don't ever send a message to reschedule. It's strange because they seem genuinely interested at first talking to me. In the past 2 weeks I've had a total of 4 girls cancel on me all with similar excuses, and I just don't know what to do or what I'm doing wrong. I have a friend who is very successful and hardly ever has females cancel on him. Not going to lie but it's kind of hurting my confidence and self esteem, and giving me a pessimistic mentality of "what's the point of talking to this next girl, she'll just cancel like the others". Any advice?
  6. Broke up with my first boyfriend years ago, it affected me a lot because he has a "type" and I can't help but compare myself to the new women he may be dating. We remained friends (no longer) for a while and I recall this conversation that I go over and over in my head; Him: She never texts me but I'm just trying to respect her space Me: She must be damn hot or something for you to still try and work things out despite her ignoring you for weeks like that Him: She IS hot...... I am definitely still in love with him and these thought I'm afraid are becoming crippling to my self esteem. Should I try and make arrangements to speak to a conselor about this? Has Anyone else experienced this?
  7. Sooo, long story short I was in a relationship for 7 years and he cheated on me multiple times. Now that I’m out of the relationship it’s been about two years already. I have some dating sites and there’s this guy that wants to meet me but I feel like he is way out my league. Everytime I try to meet someone new I find something so I won’t go. I know I have a low confidence and self esteem but I just can’t help it I been like that for years and it’s hard to come out of it. I have talked to my friends and they tell me I’m crazy that I’m pretty that I need to stop thinking so negatively about myself. When they give me a compliment I find a way to justify why I look the way I do. I was bullied since I was in middle school and it has caused so emotional damage to me. I feel like having low confidence has set me back but i really don’t know how to help myself. I get on moods were I just cry and cry but then get up and tell myself I will be okay even though I don’t feel that at that moment.
  8. Story of my life is that I’m really ugly. 16 female. I haven’t had any normal teenage experience, a boy has never glanced my way, and u may be like oh you are so young but I feel like I’m going to be alone forever or have settle in a bad relationship. I can’t even take pictures. People pull out their phones all the time and without a thought just snap a pic. Maybe it’s not “instagram worthy” but they are still stunning and here I am, having never even went on my camera app except when taking pictures of other things other than me. They say find your angle and lighting but what happens when u don’t have an angle, when your face is so ugly nothing helps. This puts me in a pit of depression. It’s not even like oh you are average or whatever, it’s like every feature I have is the wrong one, I have a big forehead that makes my hairline look like it’s receding, small brown eyes, big bunny wide meaty nose, big unshapely lips, square head which isn’t very flattering on girls, my teeth are straight but I have tint gaps on my upper teeth, been told skin was too dark been called ugly a lot in my childhood and it still happens now expect people disguise it in jokes and I can’t point out how much it hurt because then I’m not fun. I feel hopeless I know I can’t change my face at least without surgery but I don’t know if I can ever get to a place where I am content. I need help
  9. Hey I decided to post this up for all those people who have a strong relationship to a compulsive liar. Whether it be Mother to daughter, or your boyfriend. Hope this Post helps. Doesn't it fusterate you when you are unsure of what to believe anymore? Even worst when they lie in front of your face and you and everyone around you know That they are full of bs. Don't you just wish there was a way to make them stop. Well People it can be stopped, with a lot of love and care and patience. Compulsive Liars 99% of the time have no self esteem and are extremely emotionally delicated. As a result to feel better about themselves they will make up lies to cover up what they don't have. Since they have no self esteem, and have no confidence most willhave given up on themselves. As a result to seeing themselves as a complete failure, most will become emotionally dependent on others once shown affection. They crave attention and sympathy because they need someone to love them in exchange for not loving themselves. Or make up stories to boost their ego to make up for the ego they don't have. How Can I help a person in this situation? It's more complicated then it seems, Its a step by step process Your main goal is to get them to Love and respect themselves. They desperatly need self esteem for this. Once they have self esteem and love themselves nothings missing, and then there will be no reason to make up stories or it will make it more easier to stop lying, Step one remind them once lied they don't have to lie to be good/ cool , but be sure not to bust their bubble. Keep reminding them that, if you are with friends when you catch him lie ( even a white lie) wait until later, pull him/ her aside and tell him "You know , you don't have to lie to impress me" If he gets mad per ex "Starting with that again? So now you think I'm lying" (when they lie on top of lies) just say "No, I just want to let you know that" and smile. and then if he doesn't believe you just be like "Okey so its you who doesn't trust me then" Thats basically turning it around in such a way he knows what he did was wrong and he'll be in the position that he knows u caught him lying but he can't say anything because he'll look like he's the one who doesn't know how to trust someone. When caught lying never nod your head and agree, that just feeds the lie, and he'll / she will do it more and more often. just pause and change the subject, then remind him later. They need a loving supportive environment that believes in them. compulsive liars need Motivations, they will most likely be fixed on the failure and disadvantages, remind them of the advantages! Compliment them on something they did, make them feel good about themselves or maybe praise. Try to make them realize they can be independent and make their own decisions. DO NOT LET HIM/ HER get dependent on you. maybe ask them to do some simple tasks for you. Get them to help you on an issue, keep trying even if they don't want to. After have succeeding in helping out / doing stuff for you maybe he will realize Hey I am not a total failure after all, and decide to start being more responsible , which leaves the door open to get them to stop lying. Remember they are not emotionally healthy enough to make the decision to help themselves, or realize they need help. Don't make them make decisions. Help them help themselves, even if they don't want help. 99% of the time they will be very thankfull when recovered. But be sure that they need help 100%, and if you are proven a compulsive liar, than you do need help. They don't know what they're doing. your hands and your wasting your time. Set some rules The rule's people set are all different and according to what bothers them. In order to help someone even though they don't know it, you should make sure they will not affect you negatively. You come before them, this is why we set rules/ expectations. Even if broken once or not , keep reminding them it's wrong. It will make them realize it's wrong, not right, and that they are not getting any bbenefits but consiquences for breaking them. It really depends how long the person is willing to take the breaking of rules of the person they where helping. Remember being a compulsive liar has nothing to do with whether they are a good person or not. A good person will never hurt you unneccesarly. But after so many rules broken you know they need higher help which is out of your hands. I don't recommend you try to help / contact them again until they are a little better and ready to play by your rules. Per ex rules 1. No stealing 2. Keep most promises Whatever floats your boat. Keep trying to boost up his ego, that for now is your key goal.
  10. My life seems to being going no where fast. Growing up poor, always staying at home to study, always doing what I am told and always putting all of my own interest's aside for my parents, letting my parents decide everything for me. Now I am 21, I lack a social life, I am shy, rarely going out, my grades are slipping, I never had a girlfriend nor a job, I have low self-esteem and slightly overweight. And my parents expect me to rescue them from poverty like this? At my home, everything seems to revolve around my mother's stress, her poor health and the family debt. She is the sort of person that sacrifices all of her time, her health and her sense of well-being all for the sake of the family and accuses the family of not being supportive enough of her and expecting too much from her. She expects the family to become as "selfless" as she is and that she is the only person in the house that even has the right to even be angry or depressed. My mother (and my little sister to some extent) are the sort of people that don't like to take "no" for an answer. Because of this, I have become somewhat of a pushover, never saying "no" to anyone, even taking orders from my sister who is four years younger. It feels degrading being pushed around by a little girl that has absolutely no respect for you. I get no love, respect or support from my family no matter how much I try. I am tired of being made to feel that everything I do is not good enough. I sacrifice all my personal goals, dreams and ambitions and I am still not good enough. I am tired of having low self-esteem. Such is my low self-esteem that even to smile or laugh is out of character for me. Every time I tried to build up my self-esteem it would easily crumble whenever my mother makes me feel like she is disappointed in me. My greatest regret would be that one day my mother will die still disappointed in me. To feel depressed I would be told by my mother that I might be depressed for only one day but she is depressed every day. That makes me even more depressed. *Sigh* So much pressure and expectation merely because I am the firstborn in the family. In everything I do (e.g. uni) nobody at home has faith or confidence in me. To tell them that I am trying my best no one will believe me. Its hard when I am the only one that believes in myself. If only moving out was an option, but its not, I am far too dependant on my family. Someone one told me once that I have a heck of alot of potential, why is it that I don't see this potential? I wish I had someone believe in me, particularly someone I admire and respect. Maybe this is why I like this girl I know. She is intelligent, good grades, plently of friends, strong at public speaking (unlike me), similar background as me...etc. I can't help but feel that she is the person I would have become if I wasn't so insecure and my life filled with problems. I tried writing her an email once, to tell her how much I like her, however, I never sent it and all I did was send her an e-card saying "Happy Valentines Day!". Not that I am shy or I am afraid of ruining my friendship with her, its that I have so much things in my life to deal with first (e.g. my low self-esteem). What kind of boyfriend would I make like this? Maybe all of this is just an excuse for not saying to her how much I like her. I am tired of being ashamed and embarrassed at my every failure. I want to one day look back and laugh at myself, because I have changed so much for the better. I can't just sit around waiting for my life to change on its own, I need to take charge of my own life. I need to develop goals and ambitions if I ever want to feel like I accomplished something important in my life. I need to improve myself for my own future and also for the sake of my family. I want to live a life with no regrets. I want to take a more positive outlook on life despite the negativity and pessimism that is hard to ignore at home. I want to boost up my self-esteem. I want to lose weight, not to impress a girl but to have a better self-image. I want to somehow earn the respect of my parents and my sister. Everyday might be a struggle to find faith and confidence in myself but there is a vague hope that one day I would have a successful life. Maybe then it would be much easier to attract a girlfriend.
  11. Ladies if you have ever felt as if : You give alot in a relationship, but don't get the same in return. You keep dating men who won't committ and just drag it on as much as possible. Men take you for granted. You would do anything to keep your relationship together. Your self-esteem is damaged and don't know how to repair it. Then you need to read this book by Sherri Argov--Why Men Love B( female dogs--eh)--From Doormat to Dreamgirl. It's not a man bashing book or a woman bashing book. It presents real life situations with tips on how to achieve a loving, healthy relationship and not settle for less than that. It also lists some of the things you might be doing wrong. If you don't agree with the material it is still very entertaining and funny. Happy reading!
  12. hi every1 - i dont know if this is the right area to post it but my name is teri , im 21 years old and i suffer from an extremely lowself esteem. ive tried many ways to help myself but nothing is working out. i fail in everything. my social anxiety is crippling to the point where i cant carry out a proper conversation. i feel very lonely and suffocated most of the time. my parents are both diabetic an im epileptic. i feel depressed and suicidal some of the time.ive had to drop out of school several times because of these problems- i cant bear using the bus, i feel scared. does any1 have any suggestions on how i can make friends? if so please email me at email removed
  13. how does one build their self confidence. I have always had a problem with my own slef image. everyone that knows thinks I'm crazy, I have a great job, my own house, and everything materialistic one could want. deep down I know i'm a goodlooking guy...or my friends girlfriends and wives wouldn't want to hook me up with their firends. I'm in good shape, love the gym, and it does show....but.......i still see myself as a loser. I see myself as unattractive, unintelligent, not funny...ect...ect....ect.....how do I get that crap out of my head.....and see what others see. deep down I know I've got a hell of alot goin for me....but....I can't see it....and it holds me back, and makes me very shy. how does one get these bad slef images out of their head??......I'm willing to try pretty much anything.
  14. Hey, Today I was planning to ask a girl I know out to Prom. She and I sat and talked, just as we normally would, before I could muster up the courage to shoot the Q. This wasn't until the next period in school when I had decided I would ask. As I awaited an opportune moment to do so, she randomly says, " I have to find a way to fit into my Prom dress". I said, " are you kidding me", saying so because she is quite slender and physically fit. I then said, "your going to Prom", she said, "yes", so then I asked who she was going with, hoping she would say nobody, leaving me with a perfect time to ask. But then she said she was going with a certain guy, one who I know is not a quality kind of person that will respect her for who she is and also an underclass men, (she and I are both seniors). With this said, my mood dramatically dropped and I lost some self confidence. I have a strong feeling that she is attracted to me and I to her. She does stuff like the eye contact thing, laughs at a lot of stuff I say(in a sincere way), somewhat copies what I do, and smiles at me when we talk. Also, when I sit very close to her, instead of an row appart but in the same desk (seats two), she appears to act nervous, constantly playing with her finger nails, checking her phone, the clock, and fooling with her hair. Is this good or bad? Also she was wearing a skirt today, she would cross and uncross her legs switching sides while rocking her foot back and forth, is this good or bad? Any way, I'm considdering telling her that I was going to ask her to prom before she told me that she had a date, or asking her out to dinner. I don't know if I should do this, considdering that this could alienate her trust in me because she allready has a date, whom in quite frankely not up to par. I don't know how she would react if I did tell her, or ask her out to dinner, it almost seems like she was desperate accepting the date proposal from this guy, so it could be favorable or unfavorable for me. Should I tell her my inital plans to ask her to Prom, or ask her out to dinner, or should I just let her go, which is something I don't want to do. Please, if anyone has any advice, particularley any girls out there, I would be very greatful for any enlightenment on the situation. Thanks, Nick
  15. hey, My self esteem is so low right now and I'm finding it difficult to imagine meeting someone else. My girlf dumped me last year and since then I can't pick myself up. I think my main problem is that I don't consider myself very attractive, and I don't have any self confidence at all. I often overhear people laughing and I assume they're laughing at me, which just makes me feel more down. Are looks so important? How can I gain confidence and hopefully meet someone else? Thanks guys
  16. I've been dating someone new for about 8 months and the first problem I had in the very beginning was I kept being repulsed by his touch whenever he tried to initiate sex. And we still haven't had sex yet because although I don't feel repulsed to touch him when I initiate, my sex drive is short lived and have basically no desire to have sex at all- so the initiation always falls flat-- never results in sex because I lose my sex drive less than 5 minutes after I initiate. I've been thinking about the problem a lot and how my new bf's self-esteem is being hurt. I think that because of my last really bad relationship where I was always being rejected whenever I tried to initiate and when we DID have sex I always bled because he would be too forceful and my skin would cut and bleed and he wouldn't listen to me when I told him it hurt or to stop. There was no enjoyment whatsoever and I would be sore until the cuts healed up to 2 weeks later. I learned that sex wasn't enjoyable because he made me do it whether I wanted it or not, it was all about his pleasure and never about my own, and then I would be in pain for weeks afterwards. Since then, I've had very little sex drive since the last few months of my last 2 year relationship over a year ago up until now. Whenever my new boyfriend tries to initiate I have the fear of being cut and bleeding again and I turn him down. I think that's why my sex-drive has disappeared and I think that's why when he initiates my skin crawls and I'm repulsed and turned off. I like him a lot, I have a lot of intimate, romantic feelings for him and there's a lot of emotional security in the relationship-- but there's no passion. How do I get over this fear of pain and revive my sex-drive? How do I raise his self-esteem even when I don't have sex with him and turn down his initiations because I'm not ready? Any suggestions would be great....
  17. Hi, as you can kinda tell from my nickname I am quite a shy guy. I have been attracted to this girl for a while and at the very least, we consider ourselves acquaintences. The more I see her, the more I learn about her, I can't help but feel more impressed and more attracted to her. Sometimes I imagine myself holding on to her and never letting go, but I am extremely shy about touching her (the only time we ever touched is when we shook hands on our second meeting). This girl, I am greatly attracted to her personality and intelligence. Top of her school in high school, she plays the piano just like me (my guess is that she can play much better than me), high average marks at uni, excellent at writing, excellent public speaker..etc. She has many qualities that I should have had if I had a greater amount of self-confidence from a young age. Around her, I find myself more confident, generally in a good mood..etc. When I am not around her, I find myself looking closely at my own life and wishing I could do a lot more for myself. For a while now, I feel I need to improve myself, to help my family and to help myself for my own future, but somewhat complacent. Living in an asian family were I am trained to have a deep respect for our parents, I find myself for years blindly following their orders/beliefs, always suppressing my anger, depression, frustration and finding that I am not getting anywhere. If I am going to improve myself, I need a positive role model, and I find this girl I like almost like a catalyst for my wish to improve myself. I feel that she has done so much for me that I wish I could do just as much for her. I really like her, I wish we could be more than just friends, but I don't want want to ruin our friendship. She has helped me much, and small things that I say to her like "I wish I had grades like this" I consider like a promise to her and to myself (she probably didn't think much of this at the time). The last thing I want is to ruin our friendship, if it does go to ruin, I would feel shattered, lose a great deal of self-confidence and lose much of my motivation to improve myself. I need to develop some long terms goals, but don't know where to start. Maybe I'll start with smaller goals first. Alright, here are some short term goals: 1. I'll take up playing the piano again. 2. Lose some weight 3. Build up some confidence (I know, this one might be a bit harder than goals 1 to 3. 4. Get good marks in this semester 5.Get my first job after this semester 6. Give up computer games (not a problem, gave it up roughly same time I met her) 7. Make new friends or catch up with old friends 8. Try to keep up appearances with this girl (I am not going to see her much after the semester is finished) By putting my goals down, I feel that my goals have somewhat become more concrete, instead promises I half-heartedly make to myself from time to time. This forum is great for this kind of stuff and I have been venting much of my thoughts here and find myself less worried and depressed in general.
  18. I just had the most amazing thought. This one goes out to all of you who were being suffocated by their exs who felt like they were living in their exs shadow, for those of us who felt like their ex had ripped apart our self-esteem...I was just talking to a friend of mine and we were laughing over the fact that I was in such a state last night that I was taking plates out of the cuboard and smashing them on the floor...we were laughing because, really. Just now I was putting something in the garbage and rattled the reminants of the broken plates accidentaly, I remembered laughing with my friend thinking about myself alone in my apartment smashing plates and suddenly I felt alive again. Maybe this torment, this pain, this craziness is a wake up. Maybe this is all a big awakening from the cowering, shattered souls we had become from our relationships! I am a passionate being, I have always lived life with that certain (although I had never done it) smashing plates on the floor kind of fire...what happened to that fire? What happened to the girl who traveled around the world by herself and now cries because she's alone in her apartment? what happened to my sense of adventure, my passion for life?? I am partially responsible for the demise of that person but I was also with a 'dream stealer,' but he doesn't have me anymore! Even if I only feel this for tonight and hopefully touch one of your hearts for 1sec we have this and it is part of the new lessons for a new life!!!! Many thanks, remind me of this email when? if? I hit the dump again!!!!!!!
  19. Hi everyone! There's this girl that i really like and im quite sure she seems interested in me. I have been thinking that since the Easter holidays are coming up i might ask if she wants to do something together. I lack alot of confidence and self-esteem but im trying to work on that... . If she agrees im after good places to take her since it's our first date (sorta) where do you girls often like going or doing in general with a guy (haven't dated in a while, kinda of forgotten, hopless case ) but i guess that depends on what she like i guess. Can anyone offer any advice or information, it would be appreicaited - whitefang
  20. Hello, I hope I'm posting in the right place on the forum. If I'm babbling in the wrong direction, my apologies. I've been with my current girlfriend for almost exactly 2 years. I moved in with her a couple of months ago. I've always known since we were just friends that she had some pretty bad self esteem problems. She never liked her body, and thought herself plain and faceless. Well, things have gotten worse in the past 2 years, and I worry about her and the future of our relationship. I feel to close to the problems at hand, and really have no objective way of thinking about how to deal with it. So I'm constantly in a state of confusion when she breaks apart. I hope someone on these forums can help me be a better boyfriend about the matter... When we first got together she weighed a little over a 110-115lbs. Well, her metabolism seems to of slowed down now that shes entering her 20's. As a result, she gained about 40 pounds very rapidly which also caused a lot of stretch marks. This has caused her already pre existting self esteem problems to escalate rapidly. Every couple of weeks we go through the same song and dance of her crashing in a heap of self hatred. Anything can spark it. Last night I think it was a commercial with some women in it with very slim figures. You know the hollywood ideal. She muttered that shed never look like that. Its for this that I sometimes hate watching television with her. She compares herself to everybody. Things are at the point now that shes claimed celebacy for the fact that she sees herself as some sort of moocow during sex. This is clearly not what I think, but what I think doesnt seem to matter so much to her as what she thinks about herself. She claimed she wouldnt have sex again until she felt better about herself and lost the weight. Last night she told me she didnt think we'd ever have it again. She also cut herself in a blaze of self hatred, after I took the condoms away from her that she was trying to cut in half (for the fact that we'd never use them again). Then she locked herself in the bathroom for half an hour. Luckily without the scissors. She eventually settled down and came out. But I know it'll happen again. I just dont know what to do. Its hard to support her sometimes, because it feels like nothing I say matters. I wish there were something I could say, (like they always seem to do on TV) that'd make it all better. But I dont believe there is. I've tried helping her diet, by going on a diet with her, but it wasnt even a week before she gave up. I just dont know what to do or say anymore. Sorry for this post being so long and scatter brained. I guess its a bit of a reflection on how the matter is in my own head. Thanks for taving the time to read this.. if anyone has any suggestions I'd appreciate it a lot.
  21. ok, I have always had a self-esteem issue. It gets so bad that I cry when I look in the mirror. I hate the way i look, and I know u cant change the way you are but you can change the way you feel about ur self. It hurts so bad, because on top of all of this I have never had a "real" boyfriend before. I'm afaid i scared guys away with the way I look. Sometimes I wake up just as excited as can be, and others I wake up, sad and having a glum out look on life that makes me want to lash out on others. My mom is often the main target, I catch attitudes with her all the time, yell at her, all types of stuff and this is only because of the way I feel within myself! I need someone who can help me overcome my self esteem issue. I also compare myself to other girls every single day. thre hasnt been a day where I dont lookm at other girls and say OMG look at her and look at u u should be ashmaed ur even alive! Lets face it looks are everything is a world full of shallow individuals! How Can I not pay attention to looks and nothing but looks?
  22. Ever since my recent breakup I've been trying to find answers to a lot of things in my life. One of the things that I could never really explain was the fact that at times I have low self esteem and feel down about myself. When I am able take a step back and look at the big picture, I have absolutely no reason at all to do so. I'm pretty good looking, have a lot of friends, and pretty much anything that I have ever put my mind to I have succeeded. The thing that I have realized through all of this "soul searching" is that whenever I do even the smallest thing wrong it drives me crazy and brings me down more than it should. For example, I had a job interview last week. When I step back and look at the whole picture, I know that the interview went great. We sat their and talked for a while and he really seemed to like me. But there was one point during the interview when I kinda stumbled through a question. For the next two or three days all I could think about was how I screwed up everything because I muffed one question out of the many that I was asked. Another example, I played college baseball all the way up to last year when my eligability ran out. There were very few games that I left feeling good about the way that I or my team played. I could have went 3 for 4, but if one of those at bats was a poor one, that is the only thing that would stick out in my mind. I know that my problems are very petty compared to the problems of most of the people in the world, so I'm not looking for any kind of sympathy or anything, just maybe a little advice. Any good books or websites that deal with this subject? I need to learn to be more optimistic about things. It seems that I alway look at things in a negative way.
  23. Hi everyone, This is my first post here- seems like an excellent advice site. Ok onwards to the problem! I met a guy on an online forum about 8 months ago- we bgan chatting daily via email and later MSN. We got on very well, and neither of us reallt thought much would come from it. However the forum we met on were having a meet in London so he was going to come down from Exeter- I offered my place for his to stay at. We swapped phone numbers and began chatting lots on the phone- sometimes for hours. Neither of us could wait to meet eachother so I booked a coach ride to see him in Exeter (for a week). This was last week- we had an amazing time together and I told him I felt 'very strongly' about him and made it clear I wanted to start seeing him. He treats me like his girlfriend, tells me I mean the world to him and that he has never felt this way about anyone before. However he then dropped the bombshell on me- although he likes me he dosn't want a relationship. He told me he is confused and it wouldn't be fair on me. I think the distance is also an issue- he has said it would be too hard to say goodbye to me and that things would be different if we live closer. He had a tough time as a child and it has really effected his self esteem now. He said he feels like the voice in his head is telling him to back of whenever he feels like he is getting close to me. Any ideas on my plan of action? He is coming to stay with me in a week....
  24. Hey! I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions...I am shy and don't have much self confidence(even though sometimes ppl believe I do..) and I just recently started dating this guy who I really like, but the prob is that I want to ( so baddly too!) make out with him, but I had the same prob. with my ex where I just don't know what to do that would feel good for him and that I'd be comfortable doing, cuz I'm deadly afraid of trying anything, but I want to.....Anyone have any advice and/or suggestions?
  25. ive posted a couple of posts about this problem but i have not for a quer all barriers thrcouple of weeks now. i am curently 15 but i am in love with a 22 year old- he may be too old for me but shouldnt love conquer all barriers that are theown in the way??? Any way so i saw him again and tried desperatly to get his phone number but he kept telling me to stop being so obvious and that only people with low self esteem and people that are easy are so obvious. but before this he was giving me all these comeon signs and trying to kiss me and everything. hes finishing uni in 3 months and is coming home and will also be coming into my house so what do i do??? do i try and pursue him?or leave it and live in misery for the rest of my life??? ive already started to self harm again- i stopped but now ive started again because of this- im just so frustrated. please plase try to help me before it takes over my whole life- i already lie awake at night and cry myself to sleep because of it. Help me please. Catie xxx 0X
×
×
  • Create New...