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About Me

  1. I have literally faced 4 rejections. However I do not have the strength to face the fifth one. I am tired and I am sick of it. In fact I literally become frustrated. How do I go through the fifth one? How do I deal with it if I am rejected the fifth time?
  2. Hello, I've had two close online writing buddies in the very small fandom I have belonged to since 2017. The first one really brought me down in a lot of ways, and randomly stopped talking to me a while back for no reason, and so I suppose good riddance I guess as she was constantly trash-talking others and it wasn't sustainable. The second friend I made recently is fantastic; we have SO much in common and really enjoyed talking to each other about fic and writing etc, but now she is ghosting me and not really engaging anymore. Leaves me hanging after I message her. I am not pushy at all and won't message her again unless she messages me first, but I just can't help but feel really sad now about it, and can barely get up the motivation to write this week. This keeps happening to me where I make these awesome fellow-writer friends, and then they always end up ghosting me, even after an amazing connection is made between us. It was so nice, having someone to talk to about our WIPs and comments and the struggles of writing. I was always so encouraging to her, and she encouraged me right back. We would tell each other our word counts and motivate each other, things like that. I thought it was great, and now that she has stopped messaging me, I feel kind of empty. If this friendship really does end up dying like my first one, I don't think I will have it in me to make any more fandom friends. It hurts to go from talking to them about writing and our fandom all the time, and really having a connection, to nothing. Getting treated as though my feelings do not matter really hurts. Writing is such a solo activity and I really enjoyed having someone to talk to about the joys and pitfalls that go along with this (sometimes stressful) hobby, but I don't think I can handle this again. It hurts too much. I don't have anyone IRL who writes or is into fanfic, and so I suppose I will end up crawling back into my shell and live for the rest of my fandom life as a hermit whose only presence is the occasional AO3 update. I don't want it to be this way, I liked having someone to talk to who really understands, but I cannot deal with this again. Anyone have any advice? I don't even feel like writing now. I'm sure I'll get back to it in a few days, but right now all I can think about is this feeling of being rejected, and also the fact that I no longer have anyone to talk to about this stuff. I don't think I said anything "wrong" to her and always made sure to compliment her work, so I am not sure why this keeps happening to me. Anyone go through something similar? How do these people go from excitedly chatting all the time about writing and each others work to nothing? Like it never even meant anything? We talked a lot about our lives, too, and I thought we were really connecting. :( I just feel really rejected and my anxiety is through the roof wondering what it is I have done wrong.
  3. Hi, About a month ago I asked for advice on the best way to get an ex girlfriend back. A couple of weeks ago I then asked for some more advice in regards to blocking my ex. This will be the last bit of advice I ask for. If you are interested you can read back on my 2 previous posts. I'm going to summarize. Basically, me and my ex broke up at the end of January. We spoke quite a bit and near the end of February I asked her to rekindle things which she rejected. Near the end of March I told her that It would be best if I were to block her on social media so I could get over her which she agreed. It's been just over a month and I have unblocked her because I felt a little better about the situation and I felt like seeing her with someone else wouldn't faze me. She's not currently seeing someone else. A small part of me would still like to rekindle things. I know I have gotten a lot of advice which mostly advised to keep her out of my life. I'm looking to see if anyone has some advice in relation to starting a conversation about starting a new relationship. I understand people will advise against this but I guess I'm looking for someone with advice on how to try to fix things with this girl. I really do love her and I haven't stopped. We were together for nearly 2 years and I know she had strong feelings for me.
  4. So my girlfriend one year and six months has proven for the most part that she is loyal. Unfortunately she doesn’t tell me important things like how one of her friends just got sweet with her over text, and that has me worried. Allow me to explain. My girlfriend and I are on completely open terms with each other as far as our relationship goes. Even to the point where we know all of each other’s passcodes to everything. One day however I’m scrolling through her phone waiting for my own to charge because I’m curious as to how a conversation between her and her sister went about moving in with her sister. That’s when I notice the preview of a text with one of her friends that I already know talking about drinking together. So I click on that because it worries me. Lo and behold, there is an entire conversation about drinking one on one with each other in this guys bedroom. But even worse is the fact that he low key gets sweet on her when she tells him she gets flirty when she drinks. He responds, “flirty or y?” And she barely shuts him down by telling him “just flirty.” He continues to egg her on in the conversation and it clearly feels sexually charged, and somewhere along the lines she brings up a story about making out drunk and he tells her she should come over in that case but she closes the conversation by saying she couldn’t make out with him because she “still has” me and that he wouldn’t like it if she did that to him while he was still in a relationship. But the biggest problem I have with this conversation is that despite him getting fresh with her initially she still insists that they should drink together—not in her bedroom but his. She just insists that she “knows her limits.” On top of that I don’t know if I can fully get behind her rejection of his coming in to her because it doesn’t feel like a rejection. Just that she “still has” me like in an obligation to be loyal to. Not completely shutting down the whole idea of drinking with him, putting ideas in his head that there’s still some chance, knowing how she gets when she’s drunk, knowing how I’d feel about her throwing herself in that kind of situation. Not that, she doesn’t like him like that because she likes me, no, just because she still has me. The big problem here is this friend of hers is, first of all, freshly broken up with his girlfriend. She he’s clearly lonely and desperate. But this is a friend she’s known since before me. But this is also a friend she’s sent nudes to before she knew me as well. So I don’t know how to feel about this. I’ve told my girlfriend to tell me about situations like this in the future and she still hasn’t told me about this yet, as I wait day after day for her to be honest with me about this. Because this isn’t the first time a serious situation like this happened that she decided not to tell me about. In fact this isn’t the first time someone has said something about her that I’m uncomfortable with that she’s treated like attention.
  5. There's this one girl that I really like and she likes me. But every time I'm about to ask her out I think of my past two girlfriends. Both of them completely crushed me and I really don't want to go through that again. Then on top of that, the girl I like most likely doesn't want to be in a relationsip like that with me because I'm not very open. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you all a whole lot, this is my fist time ever asking for advise and I mean that truthfully.
  6. any opinions would be great on this. ive been doing a lot of thinking,especially after my friend rejected me.there have been a lot of questions in my head......why do i want a girl so bad......what is the point.......why do i feel so sad.....why am my friends distant.....etc etc at first,i thought it was all my fault.this was natural,i was depressed after the rejection. now that i have a clearer head,im thinking that i need to improve myself to be worthy of a decent girl in my life. about why i need a girl,i guess its the loneliness factor.im a lone child,always played by myself when i was a kid.i have many friends,but i often find it difficult to get really close to people and to et people close to me because im so used to having my space.the only time i really felt close to someone was when i had a long distnce girlfriend,and we would talk loads about anything daily. anyway,i was thinking i should improve myself,concentrate on the matters i have rised as well as a few others and see where i go.please note,im not trying to improve myself with the aim of getting a partner,i guess improving myself will make me a more desirable person.its not my aim to improve myself to get a girlfriend. any thoughts?
  7. Let me provide a quick summary: Dated a girl 6+ years, she grew impatient with no ring, I began to neglect her feelings, we grew apart, she asked for some space about 2 months ago. After she took the space, I realized what I had after it was gone...I tried to win her back, but my actions only made her mad. ("Why did I have to break up with you to get what I wanted?" etc.) After 2 months of agony, she began to let me express my feelings for her. I have written her a love poem each day for the past two weeks, we have gone out and seen alot of each other lately (At least compared to the 2 month separation). She still says she loves me, but it seems the tables have turned. All the emotions she had in the past when I neglected her, I have them now. It seems I can't see enough of her, it seems like I'm always the one asking to do stuff, and she is always the one rejecting me "We were together for the past 24 hours". It seems she is interested in me, but not to the extent I am interested in her. I'm ready for marriage now, whereas she was in the past. I'm ready for everything...it seems she is neglecting me now. So, given she just recently allowed me to express myself to her, and the fact we have started going out some, is it too soon to be telling her that I feel like I'm a job to her? I feel her interest in me, but I feel like an obligation to her, like everything is forced, like she only tries when I cry to her or tell her how upset she has made me. Given the circumstances, should I try to suck it up and have fun with her? It seems I am more dependent on her than she on me, and I am getting scared to death anymore to ask her anything b/c I'm afraid of her rejecting me, it seems that is all she does anymore. I want to marry her, and have considered just asking her, I mean there is a chance she would say yes, I am just having a horrible time b/c I love her so much, she loves me, but it just doesn't show. What do I do?
  8. i was adopted at 2 yrs old. my 'family' are monsters and i don't seem to be able to be happy or social. i just feel like making it all go away. i have no friends. i have a boyfriend, but he is busy and closed-off in so many ways. i hate feeling like this. i hate being on guard all the time. there was a time when i triumphed, but i just don't feel able anymore...
  9. First off, I'm an overweight 14 year old girl and I've never had a boyfriend. I know, at LEAST one person's gonna say "You're 14, you don't need a boyfriend" or something to that effect, but that's not my problem. I understand that I don't need a boyfriend, and I'm perfectly fine without one. I've just come to the conclusion that my overweightness is impairing my ability to make relationships. Yes, it sounds unrealistic, but after reading this I'm sure someone will understand. I know someone up in northern California (I'm in southern) through a friend, and I talked to him a lot online... until he found out I was overweight and began to talk to me less. It kind of bothered me, because I really enjoyed talking to him. To see if he'd act any differently, I started talking to him on another screenname, saying my name was "Jenna", not telling him anything about my physical stature but leaving my personality and all other characteristics the same. You know how there are things that you just know about yourself? Your hair color, eye color, name, etc.? When I didn't have a clothing size or weight attached to me, I was able to open up a lot more. Usually I'm not that outgoing towards guys... I usually try not to get my hopes up, to stay distant to keep myself safe from rejection. And I always think I'll get rejected because I'm, well, fat. And my hypothesis was correct. He /did/ talk to me a lot more. Because as "Jenna," I wasn't a lardass. That experience was what caused me to think that my "voluptuosness" is preventing me from taking risks and actually TRYING to have a relationship. It's not that I think guys won't like me because I'm fat... I think that I'm protecting my ego so much that I seem stuck-up and not interested. I've never even GOTTEN rejected... I'm just so afraid of it I don't even make an attempt at asking someone out. Is there any way I can get rid of this fear, without foolishly "accepting myself for what I am," because I don't think I can do that. Somebody please help me... I don't want my weight to control me forever.
  10. This is really a question for the ladies (though guys views are always welcome). I've read in a couple of articles that some people consider that the initial smile/wink/signal a women will give a man in order to encourage him to approach is the 'first move'. I also know a few women who hold this view. I find that an interesting notion. Do you women, when in a bar or other social setting, and you see a man you like the look of and give him some sort of signal, consider that you have 'made the first move'? My argument would be that that is not the first move, but is an invitation for the man to make the first move. After all, we give off signals all the time, but they can often be ambiguous and subtle, and it's really only on approaching and talking to someone that the our intention becomes 100% clear, and with that clarification comes the possibility of rejection. Before that moment there is only hinting and suggestion, thereforeeee no risk and no chance of rejection. I have smiled at lots of people when out, but would never consider that I had 'made the first move'. What do people think? I'd like to hear some counter arguments to see things from others people's perspectives, or do you agree with me?
  11. I ended a 3yr relationship a week ago. This was a huge and heavy decision on my part. It took guts to do it for my heart screamed for me to stop and reconsider. What brought on my change of heart was I began to sit and observe that he could only do things for me that dovetailed with his own needs or desires. He was incapable of doing even the most simplest thing simply because he loved me. He has kept me on eggshells demanding I change to accommodate his expectations and if I failed he'd end the relationship. Like a carrot dangled in front of a mule he'd taunt me. I found I made all the compromises and sacrafices while his greatest sensitivity was to him self. Im intelligent and bright so this made me angry that I have put up with this for so long. I have felt great shame that I have settled for such a partner who has neglectrd me. His emotional blackmail has been cleverly disguised behind critism, threats of rejection, with holding affection, and no intimacy. Perhaps my own desire for marriage and love blinded me so that would explain why its taken me 3yrs to finally end this relationship. For months now its been on life support and going no where. I simply just pulled the plug. How do you move on with life when your mind tells you he never loved you to begin with and your heart weeps for your loss and wants him. I failed to take notice that the one thing I was most quilty of doing was seeing him as the man he could become, but failed to see the man he had became.
  12. I need help. Major. I know that I get incredibly and irrationally anxious when in a relationship. My perspective is whacked (so I've been told). For example, if the guy I'm seeing isn't home when I call and I leave a message and I don't get a call back that night. I freak. My mind starts automatically thinking that he doesn't like me anymore, he's avoiding my calls, he'll never call back, this is it...so this starts the cycle. I get angry at what I preceived as his neglect so he'll eventually sense my irritability...and so on. I am so afraid of being left or rejected that I basically CAUSE it! Does anyone go through this and how do you stop? The example that I gave is what I'm going through right now and I know it's my warped perspective. I feel crazy!
  13. Ok, so what i want to know is.... when a girl is out at a club or bar and a bloke approaches her what does she want him to say/do - what does a girl judge a lad on in this situation and how would you work out whether to reject him or not.
  14. Hello there guys, It's good to be posting in the dating forum for a change and not the break up forum. Anyway, I just wanna say Ive been dating for a while now and ive met alot of good girls and bad ones. Recentley, about 2 months ago I met this girl from the internet. Im 20 shes 17 1/2 or so. Normally, that turns me off alot but this girl and I were just talking at first but we were also interested. At first, it was just talking not much. Every night we'd talk on the phone for a few hours and what not. So one night Im out with friends far from my home town and she says shes down around my area and come by if I have time I said im with friends sorry no big deal. Then, after that me and her talked some more. She really impressed me about alot of things. Her character, her affection, her overall self was amazingly good. I turned around and told her I like her alot, thats never happened to me on the internet, that I have a crush on her basically which Ive never had in my life over an internet girl I havent even met. She turns around and says she felt the same way, that Im an amazing guy, that she feels the exact same way overall. Anyway, the next day she seemed happy as can be about it, she would text me saying she missed me all the time and we had a good convo. She told me she had a dream about how she met new guys and she rejected them for me. The next night, everything changed or so I assume. She was studying for finals that weekend and she told me shed be busy. I called her that night and I said hey to her and she was at a party. I said go have fun she asked me to call in an hour. I called her again it was 2 am and she was still out somewhere and I just said Id call her tomorrow gnite. Then, the next day I called and she didnt pick up. She was busy, I called again she finally picked up and we talked and she said shes with her cousin ( I could hear her in the back ). We talked for a few and for lack of better things I asked her so do you really reject guys for me in person ( she had told me 1 time earlier that she had) and this time she said well sorta I do but...oh yeah can you call me later. I said ok, I called her later she never answered and didnt show up online. Anyway, the next day I called her and talked to her. I felt like I was kinda losing her because she was distancing herself alot. I spoke to her and told her she doesnt have to do that whole rejectin guys for me thing. She can go out with other guys shes a very special girl I dont feel like its all said and done with me and her and shes not mine yet no matter how much I want her to be. The thing is she would tell me all the time as well go out with that girl dont say no for me. Anyway, after that it went weird. We'd still talk as much but she seemed very distant. I finally had a talk with her last wed and she was supposed to finally meet me and she said she had a paper due and she looked terrible cuz she hadn't slept all night. I said ok, I had a convo with her and asked why all this went so wrong? And she said it hasnt dont worry Ive just been tired, but shes upest that I told her to go see other guys was I tryin to say dont get your hopes up? I told her no and we had it straightened out a bit. Since then we talk more and all is well but then I said lets meet up sunday. She said ok, when Sunday came around she said her car wasnt with her. I said Ill drive she said no its ok its raining dont get hurt. I got upset, I finally confronted her at night and said whats up with you? I didnt come on strong about it just said its sad what did I do wrong or what didnt I do right? She said honestly ( and she brought it up again as if we never talked about it in the 1st place) the fact you told me to go see other guys were you tryin to say dont get your hopes up? I said no hun I explained it to her and I got her acting like her old self. I called her that night and we were back to our old selves. Thats pretty much it up to now, we havent been talking as much but she just got a new job so Im sure shes tired and what not. I now have strong feelings for a girl I havent even met which is so not my style. I know were both attracted to eachother but why wont she meet me? Im pretty disappointed in this situation and hurt. I made a mistake in getting my hopes up about this girl but we had somethin special as silly as that sounds. We were there for eachother and Im still there for her but I just dont get what has happened. Clearly,now that she has to meet me something has struck a nerve and shes scared. Whats gonna happen here?
  15. For you guys who read my recent posts: link removed link removed I finally encouraged myself and tried but ...... She told me her boyfriend won't be happy if she goes out with a guy to a movie. Now I know that she was definitely not interested because she was not aware of my interest and did not warn me that she is with her boyfriend. Yes, now I know..... But still, thank you guys for your great inputs. Now i have one more question: Any idea if i need to do something to fix the damage. Don't want to be awkward at work, although we don't talk too much at work.
  16. The friends first myth ... I am sure that everyone has probably heard some variation of the "friends-first" rule, possibly from parents, or peers, or councilors, or pastors, or educators, etc. You have probably been told that it is best to be friends with the opposite sex and not attempt to pursue any sort of relationship with them, or to have sex, or to do anything that would stain your satin white reputation for the sake of appearances. Some people look at the "Friend's-first" rule and talk wonders about it, while other despise and hate it. Why is this? You would think that being friends with someone would be a good thing, and yes, it is a good thing ... But, with all things there exist problems ... The way that one person views the world may not be the same view as another persons nor do people have the same life experiences, in the same way the "friend's-first" rule has many of these same problems in that it has not worked for everyone nor will it ever, though technically it should. Let's explore some of those reasons ... Probably one of the most severest flaws with the friendship philosophy comes from the fact that there seems to be little way to tell the difference between "friendship rejection" and "friendship acception." In other words, when someone of the opposite sex says "let's be [just] friends" he/she could be saying "I like you, but let's take it slow" or "I think you are a loser and I think this other person is way hotter than you." Both meanings are said in the same exact tone, and the same exact frequency, and the same exact way. In the former a person has been given a chance that can lead to a relationship and sex, but the latter equates to rejection and is simply a total waste of time. While this remains a source of confusion, people who have been "friendship accepted" tend to push the "friends-first" philosophy more than their "friendship rejection" countertypes, and for good and obvious reasons. This is why the "friends-first" Philosophy has also been responsible for bloating the ranks of the numerously abundant population of jerk ... The irony in this respect was that when it comes to many men who act like total jerks in relationships, they were actually once rather nice; however, from being constantly burned by the "friend's first" philosophy, not taking advantage of situations when they arise, and by constantly running into manipulative "**** teasing attention ******," and girls who see them as "big bother types," this causes them to resent many of their otherwise good qualities. Furthermore, women have a tenacious habit to attempt to soften the blow of rejection by bringing up the point that a certain guy is "sweet" or "nice" or by stating some of their otherwise good qualities back to them in the process. What women do not realize is that by doing this they unwittingly cause these men to make a logic connection between being nice, rejection, friendship, and this actually serves nothing more than to spoil them for any future relationships they could enjoy. All in all, the men who have been "victimized" in this way eventually learn to resort to traits reserved for typical "A" type personalities, either from the impending inexperience or the fear of intimacy caused from these rejections, thus causing the typical jerk like traits that have been so popularized and often encouraged by men who have these same problems. Also, the "Friend's first" philosophy also exist as a balance of control for females; when men allow women that are not related to them and are not acquaintances to be non-sexual friends with them they are allowing them to have control in all interactions on the relationship level they exist upon. On the flip side, men who receive unbiased sex from women are the ones that maintain control on the relationship level should that ever happen. One of the worst problems with "friends-first " has to do with that part of being a mature and healthy individual comes from the ability to form friendships friends with people in general regardless of gender ... Unfortunately,[as has been previously stated,] people who have been rejected with friendship tend to not develop the necessary social skills that a mature individual needs to be a good husband/wife and to raise children ... Virtually, they themselves remain children and conceptually have not progressed past the age of 12 from their stunted outlook. Because of this you will find that many of these people find ways to sleep around, not only to fulfill their own basic needs, but as an attempt to compensate for the fact that they have not been given or allowed the opportunity to grow and mature for numerous and varied reasons. When relationships do occur with these people they are often noticeably and exceptionally one-sided, where one person plays the role of a[n overly controlling] parent to another who seeks a parent or rules in general. In stark contrast mature individuals with were able to maintain relationships with people of the opposite sex learn to replace their own parents by changing their own views and outlooks and controlling themselves from an internal standpoint, where people who have been "friendship rejected" look for ways to control others or to be controlled by others from an external standpoint. I suppose being Friends with the opposite sex is not such a bad thing when you aren't constantly having your man or womanhood insulted, or are not afraid of the possibility of that happening, and can handle it when it does happen. In the long-run friendship is always the best alternative especially for those who have been able to maintain relationships. But for those who haven't, well, they'll probably just give you the finger...
  17. Okay....jist of the situation. I am interested in getting to know a guy in one of my classes. He looks at me ALL the time throughout class. He takes the same train as me home. He always walks ahead of me...but always turns around to look at me. I have tried smiling at him, but I think he either a)looks away before he can see me smile or b)Just isn't getting it. I think I make him nervous. I sit beside him (well almost) in class...and he seems nervous. He fiddles with his hands, his clothes, his hair....drops his pen ALOT! Now, I am not normally a shy person by any means....I consider myself quite outgoing, I like to talk (Yes, I am a good listener too)...I have a dry/sarcastic sense of humor, that is usally in the gutter (lol). However, whenever I try to talk to him, I totally freeze, then end up not talking to him at all. AND unless my wiring is off...it SEEMS like he wants to talk to me too, but is too nervous. So I made up my mind, and have decided that I am just going to talk to him next class. HOWEVER, I am not sure where to go with the potential conversation. I just want to be light and casual...like "hey how's it going......how do you find the class...etc, etc" There are 2 things that I think about though. 1)Does anyone find it weird to have someone just start talking to them....1 month into the class? 2)He seems nervous or really shy around me, and I don't want to come on too strong...and scare him away. I hate those "akward pauses" that sometimes happen....it makes me uncomfortable. I mean I sit there and think....if I say "hey how are you?" The most common responce is "good/fine, and you?". BUT if I make him nervous...I could just end up with a "fine" or "good"...and that's it. From there....should I ask another question....or leave it at that, and try again the next time? Like I said, I don't want to freak him out....while at the same time, not feel rejected if he is too shy or nervous to have the conversation. I haven't had to do this kinda thing for 5 years....so I feel really new at this "game". Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!
  18. I asked this girl out and she told me to call her on that day that I have planned for the date. I called her while she was working and left a message expecting her to return it on break or after work. She didnt call back, I called her after work, she answered said she was tired from the party last night, and she told me to call later tonight. I guess theres not going to be a date tonight and I got rejected. Should I just call her up to see how shes doing just as a friend lol. Maybe ask her why havent we hung out as much as we use too. Maybe ask her would she even give me a chance. I dont have a truck anyway, i wrecked it. screw it, someone just post a poem for me saying its not the end of the world. i just wrecked my truck, almost died, got rejected by this girl i had a thing for. all. in. one. weekend. im sad. and it does feel like the end of the world for me.
  19. O.k. I've made a thread about asking out for a prom date before. Well the time has come to get this done. doing it is not a problem because rejection doesn't mean much to me. i've been rejected 2x already but girls that are engaged in HS most likely aren't that easy to get to go to prom. haha. so my dillema is this... i can ask a girl that's a junior who everyone thinks little of now. she is really attractive and I feel bad for her. (she's anorexic-bulimic). People have tried to help her but no one gets through to her. I have that bad feeling no one has asked her yet because of this, despite her being super-attractive and a great person. or i can take my mom's best friend's daughter (who is also my friend). she goes to another school. she is only a freshman but we have basically grown up together. she has a boyfriend (who is also a senior at her school) but he seems pretty cool and i'm not about to fool around with someone that young in the first place. the second option would be cool since we grew up together and all that but the age gap is insane. the first option was my gut instinct (and a girl I considered asking before I knew about her eating habbits) but i found out about her eating habbits and i just don't know. opinions would be great. thanks!
  20. I don't know how to dance. Im shy but I wish I knew what I've got to do at the club or at a party. How can I learn to dance without going to classes. I just want to be able to dance with friends and at the club. Nothing formal or proffesional. A few days back my girlfriends ravaged me at a party and started dancing around me. But I just stood there like an idiot smiling. Later I thought it might have seemed like a jest of rejecting them when they were trying to get me hooked up. Please tell me how I can dance
  21. hey everyone. okay this is just a topic that i would love to hear some opinions and advice as well as just personal stories about. im 16, ive liked 2 guys in my life like ENOUGH TO WANT A RELATIONSHIP with them. the first one my childhood love. i knew him for a long time, and stuff happened he became a jerk, but in the end we were friends and then we moved and that was it. i was treated very badly though during the middle school years by him (he basically used me as a ladder to get "popular"). i know this may sound so pathetic of me, but i am a very attractive, smart, funny, understanding girl who gives so much. honestly im not going to go into detail about it, but im being honest, i dont ask guys to carry my stuff and do this and that, i truly dont expect it, i dont put any stupid pressure on a guy for stuff like that. the second guy i liked was my first bf of 9 months which we recently broke up about a month ago...although it seems like it might get back but thats beside the point. it was gr8, but he was a year younger and i will admit he wasnt exactly the MOST ROMANTIC guy. he was very sweet and sometimes surprised me in ways i wouldve never imagined, but he is young and like me inexperienced and then after going on vacation his feeligns just suddenly changed. it just hurt so much. i feel as if i have so much to offer, so much going for me, i look around at girls who im sorry but are such b*****s to their guys and they treat them like princesses. im not saying i want that, its just i feel as if i deserve so much more and i just keep getting hurt. keep feeling rejected. im starting to feel as if im not good enough, as if theres something wrong with me. it just doesnt seem fair...i dont know what i expect from you all just any comments or advice or anything is welcome...thanx...
  22. i have like this one guy for a very long time lets call him BOB but i dont know if he likes me and i am afraid of rejection........ If i was too ask him if he likes me what is the best way to do it? anyway this week he has been following it seems like and he has come up to me and looks like he is goin to talk to me but then doesnt.... Like today at lunch i was talkin to i really cute guy named andrew and Bob was by himself his friends were not with him and he just stood behind for like a minute but he didnt say anything and then he walked really fast around the corner i think he was mad but i just dont know......... PS he is really shy if i talk to him its all yes or no aswers Does he like me or not? Thanks in advance for all your answers tell me anything i just need a lot of help with this i have thought long and hard about it and i just dont know have any ?'s just ask me
  23. I thought I'd post this here, since I'm over my ex (it's been 4 months and NC worked wonders for me) and people on this site helped me through my hardships. I picked up the latest (November) issue of Elle magazine - and if you're a guy reading this - you should read it too, because there's an article on Love and Rejection. It talks about our reaction to beak ups. Basically in summary, there are several universities that research human condition during the time of break ups, and as it turned out, our brain reacts to break ups and rejections similarly as it would react to physical pain. Basically, our feeling of love and attachment is a chemical reaction, and as we get deeper into our relationships, we get dependent on our significant other, similarly as any person would taking drugs. Love affects the same parts of our brain as drugs do. That's why we want a second chance, that's why it's so hard to let go and just one nice word or just one day with our exes we long for to make our pain go away. Isolation from drugs and alcohol - is in the core of the rehab treatments, so I guess NC makes sense for the same reason. We are basically treating an addiction to our exes. I think it's a very interesting scientific approach to our problems, don't you think.....
  24. seeing all the wm/af couples and more every yr i wonder as a asian male. i got a feeling for most AM unless ur rich or got some great education backing u up-most AF would rather trade off for the WM than the AM. not sure what us AM or i am going to do the thing is WF wouldn't even want us AM. i am a CBC chinese and i have a harder time with the CBC who did reject me-proabably b/c i am chinese and she only dates white, than with a pinoy girl who is actually talkin to me, i even had a WF talk to me but not sure if she really is interested.
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