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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. To start, my girlfriend and I (both 24) met in college. We've been together for over 3 years. About a year ago, she decided she wanted a cat. I said no, her family said it wasn't a good idea, but she said she needed one to support her emotionally. So she got one. Two months later, the cat is causing problems for her. She says it's because the cat is lonely all day by itself, so she gets another cat. We lived together at that point, but we split things off and moved apart. We weren't connecting, we weren't spending time together, we weren't doing anything. I spent all my time away from the house to avoid the cat smell, hair, etc. Then 3 months later we decide to get back together, we couldn't stand being apart. We each had our own separate leases though, so we didn't move back in together. But now it's coming up on time to sign a new lease, and we obviously want to live together again. But I don't want the cats still. I finally told her last week that if she wanted to live with me, the cats have to go (you can think that makes me a bad guy if you want). She counters with saying the cats aren't going anywhere, and that I need to make the decision. So, the question is, does this problem have a resolution? I never wanted a pet, I made that clear. And perhaps it wasn't smart to get back together again with her, but it seemed like a less important problem. She suddenly can't imagine life without her cats.
  2. I;m thinking about my next painting and I was just wondering what people generally like. (would love to sell some of them too!) Would it be.. 1) Landscape- Nature, seascapes, mountains trees 2) Cityscapes - Streets, lanes, people walking, shops 3) Portraits - of people or famous celebrities 4) Animals- Cats, dogs, wildlife 5) Still life- Flowers, glass, decor 6) Nudity 7) Food- Dessert, drinks, Wine 8) Automobile- Cars, bikes 9) Culture/Architecture- Holy places, Dance, Music, Historical sites 10) Geek Art- Movie/TV/ Comic/Fiction- Batman, Superman, Avengers Thats all I can think of. What would you like to see?
  3. There is absolutely no point to this at all but if you're bored, then have a read and imagine with me if you will, along the way of this little tale. Oh and by the way, please pay attention, I shall only tell this story once. It isn't Grimm's Fairy Tales around here you know. Now then, imagine yourself every day. You stand by the signpole for the bus stop. You're out there waiting to go to work, waiting for the bus that comes along every morning at 8:05 am. Why 8:05 am? Just because. So, every day, you wait patiently for your bus to come along. And, every day, before the bus, along comes a dog. Now this dog, he's not hurting anything or anyone, just having his morning rounds and a bit of a piss here and there. He's not turning over trash cans, chasing cats, picking fights with other dogs, swiping small children's ice cream cones or menacing people like some low rent hoodlum dog might do. No, he's a nice dog that just trots along and minds his own business bothering no one and he always stops and has a piss on the light pole on the corner at 8:03 am. Why 8:03 am? Just because. Now, imagine with me if you will, one Saturday night some fool of a person manages to crash his car right into the signpole for the bus stop and wreck it. Smashed car, smashed signpole and a fool in the middle of all of it. What a mess. I would not want to be this fool of a person when he has to tell his wife he crashed the car and smashed up a bus stop signpole along with the car. I imagine she would want to smash in his head for crashing their only car. But, that would only cause even more smashing up now wouldn't it? It might even smash up some of her favorite crockery or perhaps a cookpot or pan or two. Let's just dispense with the smashing for now before this becomes too bloody and someone or something really gets hurt here shall we? Now then, where was I? Ah, yes. The poor long suffering wife of this fool who started off all these crashing and smashing problems. She now has to take the bus to work instead of the car. But, there is no more signpole for the bus stop, and not quite knowing where it was supposed to have been, besides inside the front of their only car, and she knows damn good and well it doesn't belong there, she must walk three blocks down to the next bus stop signpole. In the rain. To catch the 6:40 am bus. Why 6:40 am? Just because. Let us also not forget that this fool who crashed his car into a bus stop signpole smashing them both to bits, also has the added expense of having to pay to replace said bus stop signpole. Along with car repair bills, hospital bills, crockery, pan and cookpot replacement costs and making up for lost wages from the time spent out catching buses to go purchase said replacement items, arrange car repairs and having his head examined. But, I digress here, so let's carry on then shall we? Now, imagine with me if you will, that bright and early come Monday morning, along comes the bus stop signpole replacement crew to fix the damage caused by the aforementioned fool. They arrive at 7:12 am. Why 7:12 am? Because they were supposed to be on the job promptly at 7:00 am but they were running behind messing about gathering up things, having a nice little chat to their leisure, enjoying their morning coffee and donuts making everything all sticky around here, and I fully intend to dock their pay for twelve minutes worth of work at the end of this story. Bus stop signpole replacement crews can not be allowed to slack off and just willy willy about all they would like. This is not the road repair crew after all. If they wanted to slack off and report to work whenever they felt like it, they should have joined the road crews instead. Those people do just whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, with all of their barrels and traffic cones and diversions and things. Oh dear. Please pardon my little rant and for not staying on topic. There really is no excuse for such poor behavior on my part. I should not take my frustrations about slacker road crews and bus stop signpole replacement crews out on you. I do apologize. Now then moving right along, somewhat anyway, imagine yourself on Monday morning being awakened at 7:12 am by a series of loud booms accompanied by a horrific banging and clanging noise and followed immediately by the most godawful, teeth rattling hammering noise and the many thuds of something heavy being dropped somewhere. Lets also add in the sounds of a half dozen or so coarse and grumpy men jacked up on caffeine and sugar, shouting, cursing and laughing at one another. This doesn't quite make for a very good start to the morning now does it? Eventually, the ear splitting racket and offensive conversation ceases. This is followed by the sound of a diesel truck cranking over and moving off. You look out from under the pillows you've stuffed over your head to dull the noise and see the time is now 7:40 am. Why 7:40 am? Because I thought it would be nice to have a time ending in a zero for once in this story. Also because now I do not have to pay that slacker bus stop signpole replacement crew for a full 30 minutes worth of work for that particular job. It should have taken no more than 15 minutes to begin with, but I strongly suspect at least one of them was guilty of leaning on a shovel the entire time and not doing his bit like some road crew man. We must get you off to work so, imagine with me if you will, you jump up out of bed, race to the bathroom, shower, get dressed, comb your hair, brush your teeth, finding a loose filling caused by this morning's racket that now you'll have to have attended to, and you rush outside by 7:58 am. We'll not have that little thing asking about the times any longer please. I'm quite sick of it by now aren't you? You already know what I'm about to say anyway so lets just say you're quite quick with the morning ****, shower and shave routine and be done with it all right then? No offense to the ladies present. So, you are now happily outside in plenty of time to catch our usual 8:05 am bus but there's quite a shock of a mess in front of you. That slacker bus stop signpole replacement crew has botched the job completely. They haven't replaced the signpole like they were supposed to, they've torn up the sidewalk and strip of grass next to the curb and dug a very large hole in the ground and left a massive pile of dirt right next to it. For what who knows, but if that fool gets his car back from the repair shop before this new mess gets fixed properly, he just might crash the car down into that hole. In which case, I believe his wife would be fully within her rights to simply leave the fool and the smashed up car down there and cover them over with that large dirt pile. After all, who would want a twice smashed up car? Either way, car crashing fool or not, you're not worried about this. It's not your mess and the bus stop signpole replacement crew did do a fairly reasonable job of placing high visibility warning tape and, Ah Ha! I knew it! road crew traffic barrels! around the mess of a botched up job. I shall be having a talk with this particular job foreman regarding these barrels later. Now then, before I start off on a new tangent of traitorous bus stop signpole replacement crews and raise my blood pressure again, we'll just continue along and I'll try to remain focused on the story at hand. Being that you are not worried about this mess of a botched up job, falling into the large hole or tripping over a giant pile of dirt, but you are worried about catching your 8:05 am bus, you walk just past where the bus stop signpole should have been and proceed to wait next to the light pole on the corner. The bus driver knows you well and you are confidant he will stop for you even though there is no more signpole. It is rather nice to be the one with some common sense in this story now isn't it? After all you are not the car crashing fool of a person that will be in quite a state later on this evening. Imagine now please, that while you are waiting patiently as always, from around the corner here comes that nice dog, just trotting along, minding his own business, not bothering anyone, making his morning rounds like he does every day. Again, as in every day before, promptly at 8:03 am the dog reaches the corner and lifts his leg to have his nice little piss on the lightpole and pisses all over your leg instead. You are quite shocked and irate and about this and so you kick at the dog who quickly hurries away grumbling under his breath in dog language about uncouth and rude humans. It seems that is not such a nice dog after all. Some nerve he must have for pissing down your leg! Or perhaps the dog is actually a stupid dog and hasn't the sense to tell a lightpole from a human's leg? In any case, you are now in quite a conundrum as your bus is due along in less than two minutes, you are soaked to the skin and all down inside your shoe with dog piss and you can not go to work that way but have no time to rush back upstairs, wash and change before the bus arrives. So, you give it up as a lost cause, walk back to the front porch, sit down, call your office, inform them you'll be late to work and get fired. It seems your now former boss is the wife of that car crashing fool and she's entirely fed up with men and their feeble excuses about bus stop signpoles, cookpots, smashing, crockery patterns and head trauma. What was that? What kind of a story is this? It's my little made up off the top of my head story that's all it is. I just so happened to wrap you right up in the middle of it and had you not been daydreaming away over there and pretending, or skipping important portions, you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. What do you mean it's not your fault? This is all your fault entirely! I told you at the very beginning to pay attention and had you been paying attention you wouldn't have been standing next to the light pole the dog pissed on every day at 8:03 am like clockwork while you were waiting for the bus to arrive. So don't go blaming me for all your troubles now. What's that? This is a terrible story? Well it wasn't until you decided to interfere with it but that's quite all right. You are entitled to your own opinion after all but, since that's what you think, very well, then, I shall leave you out of my own little original stories from now on. Good luck with finding a new employer and someone to do your laundry. You shall get no references from me and please do be careful not to fall into that giant hole or over top that large dirt pile on your way out. I will not attend any lawsuits, injury bills or otherwise as the mess is properly marked off and clearly the responsibility of the road crews since those are road crew barrels out there and not the properly designated and assigned bus stop signpole replacement crew markers. Perhaps the road crew man leaning on the shovel will care to hear your complaints. Goodbye
  4. My son sent this Message to me from overseas, "Ugh, I am sooo drained!!! Tell me a story mommy?" Worried about what my little one had seen and was going through, I tried to think of what story I could tell him to ease his weary mind. My child, my beautiful child, so far from home, in a place desolate, war-torn, out-numbered, and feeling alone. Subject: A story , I love you Here my son lay down and rest your eyes and will tell you a story. A story that is told in hushed tones with reverence by the First People, it's about a Principle Chief and his never ending search for his scattered tribe. Once there was a tribal Chief, who related to the Principle Chief, and he and his people's dwelling place was in the foothills of the great smokey covered mountains which was the home to the Principle Chief. So awe inspiring were these mountains that the tribal people were afraid of them for thunder resounded and shook the ground near the base as the lighting crackled and lit up the sky and all the while the wind whipped through every nook and crany creating a sound like the howling of a wolf. For many moons these tribal people lived peacefully in the foothills, until a jealous and revengeful dog soldier, who had once been a trusted son of the Principle Chief, chose to steal and destroy and scatter the tribal people. This dog soldier and his band charged in and left nothing but destruction in their wake. Soon after the Principle Chief grieved for the people, his people, he then set out on a quest to gather that which was scattered, to return that which had been stolen, and to restore that which had been destroyed. So grieved was he that the thunder and the lighting and wind which he had contained at the top of the mountains broke free along with the fire that was contained in the belly of the mountains. He then sent these elemental warriors and scouts to the lands beyond the foothills. He used a gentle wind to whisper words of encouragement to his people, not to give up hope- that he would find them and bring them home and a fearsome wind to blow through every nook and crany to help find his people. The thunder thunder above and below ground shaking and uncovering that which had been stolen and hidden. The lighting lit up the night sky making it as bright as day to aid his people who were fearfull and trembling. The Principle Chief did indeed find his people and they rejoiced and celebrated and lived in peace again. The First People hold to this story as it is true, they know that in time this story will be their story too and they wait patiently for the time of its telling. As a reminder of his promise to the First People, he caused all the tears shed by the tribal people to cover the land as flowers and grass, he even caused the catus to grow as a reminder of the time of pain and suffering represented as the needles and the time of restoration as the flowers which become fruit and the branches or leaves the contain water which is nessary for all life and changed their name to the Principle People. My son this is the legacy that is passed from me to you through my blood, the blood of my people. I am Cherokee and Shoshone, as are you, the word Cherokee comes from a Muskogee word meaning 'speakers of another language.' Cherokee Indians originally called themselves Aniyunwiya, "the principal people," but today they accept the name Cherokee, which is spelled and pronounced Tsalagi in their own language. In the beginning the world, Earth (Elohino) was a round ball of water. The land base that was developed for Ani'Yun'wiya, the "Principal People", was Turtle (Salitsule) Island (Amayeli) now referred to as North America. The story is told of ropes being hooked to four different locations of the Island and then secured in the upper world, just for assurance that the Island would not sink in the great waters. The universe is believed to be made up of three worlds, the upper (peaceful - color yellow), the lower (chaos - Earths core, orange/brown), and the center, (here where we are now - color green), to be kept in balance between the peaceful - upper and the chaotic - lower words). These are three of the seven sacred directions. There are seven sacred directions. Up - Down - Center North (juhyvdlv?h) - color blue (sakonige?i) [for the cold north wind (unole)] - also representing trouble and defeat. South (juganawv?i) - color white (unega) [warm south wind (unole) - also representing peace and tranquility]. East (dikvlvgv?i) - color red (gigage) [for the rising sun which sustains life and also representing the color of life's blood]. West (wudeligv?i) - color black (gvhnage?i) [the setting of the sun and coming of the moon which gives no warmth or life - also representing death]. Translation Source: Cherokee-English Dictionary, Durbin Feeling -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Ani'Yun'wiya lived by the clan system. This system was not only part of the government structure, but also a part of family structure and deemed who one could marry and could not marry. The mothers side was used to trace the family. The clan system is still used today by the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians. This system seems to help greatly in balancing government powers and seemingly helps to give all a say in community concerns. There are seven clans. Blue - Sakonigei (from the color of a type of plant used by the clan) Wild Potato - Nuna Gehyahtahi Bird - Tsisqua Deer - Ahwi -- (western dialect) Ahawi Wolf - Waya' Red Paint - Asiwisti Gigagei -_ (western dialect) Disuhwisdi Gigage Twister or Long Hair - Agaluga Ustihgv?i Ganvhida Colored feathers were worn to designate which clan the person belonged. Later, AC (after Columbus) an eighth clan was formed: Keetoowah ----- (UNCLASSIFIED)
  5. I miss my dog I thought I missed the girlfriend So I came in here to mend We were best friends right until the end No I don't mean the friggin ex I miss man's best friend I miss that mutt But I don't miss the peeing and chewing All that expensive furniture ruined And the bites and the hisses No I don't mean the darn dog i mean the ex missus I miss the pooch But I lost custody battle When the ex threw out her rattle And other toys out of the pram Now they're both gone I only miss that dog Sam
  6. Can't find reason to carry on, All color drained from my life. Said you couldn't stay, now you're gone, Lost my friend, my lover, my wife. Try to fit the pieces back in place, Still gotta face the morning sun. But I've grown so weary in this race, I ain't got, the strength, to run. So tell me please why don't you stay, I sure could use the company. No reason for you to go away, And take, your love, from me. This old dog is outta' tricks, Can't even stand to learn one more. Now bound with chains, torn with whips, Since you left, my ring, you wore. The house that we built stands alone, Nobody lives between its walls. Built from wood, love and stone, Like you, and I, it falls. So tell me please why don't you stay, I sure could use the company. No reason for you to go away, And take, your love, from me. All I loved and held dear, Has left me without rhyme or reason. So as I close my final year, In this, my final, season. Maybe one day just you and I, Will have another chance at this. And we'll meet in paradise, Your lips, again, I'll kiss. So tell me please why don't you stay, I sure could use the company. No reason for you to go away, And take, your love, from me. So tell me please why don't you stay, I sure could use the company. No reason for you to go away, And take, your love, from me. No reason for you to go away, And take, your love, from me. And take... Your love... From me...
  7. It's time to actually make a journal and stick to it. Even if no one but me reads this, it's the cathartic properties of actually expressing my emotions that I aim for. Well, here we go. Day one. Today I had no real plans other than to do some gardening. After my morning routine of rolling out of bed, I got a call from my sister to ask if i could pick up my niece as she was unwell at school and my sister couldn't make it there to get her. I dropped her off at my mums house, had a chat with her and then headed home to get started on my front yard. I moved into a rental about 6 months ago, and it was a mess. The previous renter left junk everywhere, the front garden is an overgrown mess. I have been making my way through every room in the house, cleaning walls, carpets, everything. Making progress, but the last thing I have to complete is the front garden. Thankfully, it didn't take long. Nothing some headphones, gloves and hedge trimmers can't fix. Lately I have been pondering what it would be like to just fly off of the radar. Sell most of my big belongings, sell my car, buy a van, and just travel from town to town picking up jobs and seeing the country. It's obviously not gonna happen, but it's something I can't seem to shake. I think I am overwhelmed with everything that is going on currently and I just wanna escape it all. However, I'm staying strong and trying to find my place in this world. I have been in a really healthy relationship for the past 6 months. We met through a mutual friend, neither of us expecting a relationship. As time passed we became closer and closer, learning more about each other and realising how compatible we are. We were housemates together for a while when I moved away for 6 months, which helped me determine and learn a lot about her. We adopted a cat together and recently decided to take the plunge and get a dog. We both live active lifestyles and play sports, love camping and fishing, don't really like the night life. She is the kindest, gentlest, wonderful person I have ever met. I am blessed to have her in my life. My mental health has been very up and down lately, but I have been working hard to get back to stability. It was recommended to me to ween off of my antidepressants as they have been making my mental health worse. Since I have been cutting down on them, I am actually more stable. I can feel happiness again and not just a constant white noise. I have so much motivation and actually get things done. Still waiting to be seen by a psychiatrist for ADHD medication, but I have dealt with that for my entire life so I will be okay. The depression and anxiety is still there, but I am dealing with it much better now that i can actually feel emotions again. I think I will finish this for today, can't think of anything else currently,
  8. Its my first poem in a long time, I hope you enjoy it, and can take something with you from it. Miles. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Age is a chain, a leash, that binds us to the skin we live within. A black sky, not blue, a reminder of ends. Age is a dog, that withers and dies A chain did choke a life from its eyes. My dog just died, not three days ago, and it makes me think about getting old. So I begin thinking about the body and mind. How we begin to grow and then wither and die. We are like a flower, bloom and then wilt. Only to regrow in times iron tick. So should I look forward to a life full of bliss? One that contains so many hardships? Remain in a room gathering age? No! I wont stay in a room holding dust My life is worth using, no use to sit tucked in a corner, useless, afraid of what may come, an end of my days. So with age comes glory comes chapters and endings a book with no cover, not yet bound, or constrained. I have found the key that will break from the chain. Just look at your life like you did as a babe.
  9. Situation is that I'm going out with an ex today, who I haven't spoken too much in the past few months. We've been on and off for 2 years prior to the last break up, but this was a long, long break, so I think I can get a fresh start here. I know I want one, and I'm guessing she's on the verge. Anyways, this is pretty much the first poem I wrote, in about 10 minutes at that, which I'll be reciting to her tonight. Comedic one, of course, since I'm that kind of person, but anyways, you tell me how it is. I'm pretty much scared poopless in doing this. "You're the first thought on my mind when I wake up, And the last thought when I go to bed, If I had to choose between you disappearing, and a tub of hot lead, I'd dread, and dread, but I'd jump in that lead! You make me happy, much like a big wheel of cheese, if I had to part with you, I couldn't, like a dog and his fleas. Your music is strange, and possibly bad, but if I ever told you this, you'd smack me and get mad. I'm kidding about your music, everyones got their own taste, let's not forget grade 3, when I used to eat my own paste. But back to you, if I was to try again to win your heart, would you give that a chance, and give me a fresh start?" I feel like a dummy even posting this here, of course
  10. Firstly Hi all from a lurker who has found these boards invaluable in the last few weeks. In a nutshell I split from my Ex a month ago....he was 23 years my senior and whilst we were happy together in the UK once we moved to Cyprus for his retirement 2 years ago things just went totally pear shaped. I at 38 still wanted to work and was not ready to give up work, he on the other hand wanted to sit and relax (no problem with that at all) unfortunately this involved large quantities of alchohol and when drunk he indulged in battery of the emotional type (deep joy) I managed to keep control of this by not listening and just removing myself he was always very apologetic in the morning! About three months ago he surpassed himself by sleeping with a Prostitute and catching something very very nasty and infectious.......He was majorly ill and hospitalised for a week plus the entire small village where we live knew all about it...(thanks Pal). We talked at length and he admitted for the first time in 4 years that he did in fact love me and was in love with me, and that he had been a complete idiot and wanted to try again if I was prepared to. Well I agreed to try again and within 4 weeks he was back to his normal arrogant drinking self again. One evening he got drunk (shock huh!) and laid into me about the fact that the house was a mess, he hated the dogs, my mother was a drain on my time and so were my horses in effect he wanted the freedom to do exactly what he wanted and I was ruining his life, I calmly told him fine I will take my poxy dogs, my poxy horses and myself and go live with my Mother unitl I can find somewhere else to live. So I moved out and went back a week later with a friend to remove my things, he arrived down at my mothers hose that evening frantic that he had lost his mobile and wanting me to help him find it I did go up the following day to let him some of the numbers from my phone that he needed. OK no contact initiated again......2 days later "I've lost my passport" sorry mate no clue you'll have to look for it again or get in contact with the UK Embassy for a replacement. 3 days later "I'm in the mountains having a great time" uh super, "I think I may have left the hose in the swimming pool can you go turn it off" at this point I tell him that if he is indeed having the time of his life that maybe it would be a great idea to get all aspects of it under his control and stop bothering me. So come on guys why do I miss him soooooooooo much, I have re-read my journals for the past 2 years and I have obviously been so miserable for 90% that I feel I should be jumping for joy! Yet I itch to call him and see him again, I think I am in danger of only remembering the good bits. Is this merely the feeling of limb loss that you get after a long period with a partner???? He has told me since the split that he was seriously considering asking me to marry him after the hospital incident (I would have been wife no:3). He is also saying he was much hurt when he was ill recently and he felt my schedule didn't change to nurse him and he had visions of how it would be when he was old and ill the final gem is that he loves me to pieces is terrified of being old and lonely but is not prepared to put this above his need to make the most of his final years....i.e. travelling around the island in a four wheeler getting drunk sleeping in it overnight and bedding anything that passes. Sorry long post and a bit ranty
  11. Hello I'm new here & so desperate. I had a Jack Russell terrier called Lucy, as all dog owners say, she was the best, so beautiful, clean & humanlike. She was about 15 years old & recently started acting confused, not eating much, tail was down, no interest, going a bit deaf, but as dogs can't talk, we didn't know the prob. We knew she had a bad tooth & maybe that was distressing her. We went to the PDSA in uk, which is a vet for people on benefit as my parents are pensioners & they gave her anti inflammatory & anti biotic pills, saying it was old age. They don't do scans or anything as they are a charity & is too expensive. We couldn't feed them her as she got aggressive & it was a physical impossibility to give the daily dose! Friday morning she started chattering her teeth & having violent seizures, her head, legs & body moving so intense & her eyes looking so scared i was much, it was hard to take. We took her to the clinic at 5.30am & they sedated her & told us to phone back at 10 am, we did & they said they had monitored her every half hour, bringing her out of sedation & the seizures started again, this happened for 7 hours. The vet said if she was to stay alive, she would need permanent sedation, no life for a beautiful dog. Thing is my mum is depressed & i have anxiety, her marriage is just a habit after 47 years & they aren't close really, the dog was everything to her, she treated it like a human. She says now it was all she had & is the final straw. Guilt is a sign of shock & bereavement, as is anger. She says she knew it was more than old age & blames me & my dd for not taking her earlier, but still the vet would have said old age & given her pills, who knows. She said she would have paid thousands to make her well. We all have cried non stop, i am taking valium like sweets, i see her, hear her, dream of her, smell her & we are all in total shock that she is gone & wewon't see her again. Can anyone empathise. Our world seems in tatters, i can't study, my mum is in bed with high blood pressure & i can't do anything to help, my dad is feeling guilt as there is tension between them & i worry about his health. I have read the below topic about pet bereavement & empathise with Max. I just know that she was put to rest whilst sedated, so she knew nothing about it. I just can't believe i won't play ball with her again, or see her chase cats. She was the best, so clean & always scratched at the door when she wanted to pee etc. I have lots of photos i can't begin to see. I've had to move her bed, her bowl, her toys, her chews, her lead etc. I'm so upset & don't know when this will end. Can someone help please Gary
  12. One year of job hunting... Turned down 16 times... All this time I am trying to get out of a job I absolutely hate. If I think I am remotely qualified for something, I apply for it. I recently applied for a job a little higher up on the ladder where I work now. I don't hate the place I work at. I just hate what I do there. Yesterday I was interviewed. The interview went fantastic. I was told "unofficially" that I had the job. The Vice President of the company even recomended me for it. Today I went to work knowing this was the day they were going to give me the news. It wasn't good news. I was turned down because I don't have a driver's lisense. The list of qualifications never once mentioned this was required... If anyone is wondering the reason is medical... I was so upset I went home early. The vice president gave me permission. One of my co-workers stopped at my house on her way home because she was concerned. Everyone at work is saying I got fired. She told me who got the job. The person who got the job hasn't even worked there a year (5 years for me). Once this person was given the news she went back out on the floor bragging to everyone about all the money she will be making, she even said at one point "Yea, come Monday I'll be a big dog and you guys will all still be peons, haha!" I guess today she was told to do something and her response was "I don't have to do that, I'm not a little person anymore." She can't even work the hours this job requires. The hours are 8-4:30, and she can't even come to work until after nine. BUt I guess they are going to make a special exception for her. Jeez... So tomorrow I have to go back to this hell hole and deal with her bragging all day. I don't know how to deal with her. Yes, I'll act like I'm ignoring her, but inside I'll be upset. This is just not good. I'm sick of seeing bad people have good things fall right into their laps, while agter five years at this place I've gotten nothing. I'm a model employee. I really am. I hardly ever miss work. I'm always on time, I do my job well, etc... I'm just getting tired of it. I feel like a real loser right now. I just can't get ahead...I have suffered depression because of my job. I hate getting up and going to work every morning.
  13. Consider adopting an "older" dog or cat from an animal shelter. Also be sure you can take care of that pet. Consider it a commitment. As an animal-lover here is a story and a poem that really touched me: Both were taken from this website: link removed There's other great info on that site too.... BellaDonna
  14. Ever seen a tree branch fall break and tumble to the ground? A dog that loves the rain, and a child that falls in the mud screaming at the top of her lungs with only a slight hope that her breath her curdling pitch could wash the world away. Knee deep in love looks like there is one last branch on the tree. The mud at my neck. And all the dogs are sitting by the fire. Maybe I could swallow more mud because I can't scream. -ForAnother
  15. I gotta admit this super extra careful, suspicious, skeptical and even paranoid attitude from people around you when you announce to them you're having a friendship/relationship with someone online, is really annoying. U tell them is fine, that is a good trustworthy person, and all you get is "Don't be silly you don't know this person, you're just getting all excited and swept away by fantasy, be very careful, he might rape you, kill you and feed you to the dogs..." Why do they completely ignore your capacity of judging people? Why do they assume it might be a jacko -without even knowing the person like AT ALL-, I mean based on what? Common sense? More like paranoia to me... I do believe in finally doing what you feel is best for you... yes, even if everybody around think ur insane... If all makes sense and seems coherent for you... I say, go for it.
  16. I'm still trying to completely get over a relationship that ended about six months ago. We only dated for six months, but had known each other for a few years before. The problem is, there are times that I think we were right for each other, but other times that I know we were wrong for each other. This relationship moved way too fast, and I guess I should have tried to slow it down sooner than I did. When we first broke up, I apologized to her that I couldn't handle the relationship and I took the blame for it, which I really have no problem with. The relationship moved so fast that I had no time to sort out my thoughts, and I think I may have started to get depressed from the smothering….is this a typical reaction to smothering? Here are some of the things that happened: - She said 'I love you' within 2 weeks - Wanted to move in together within a month - Only seemed interested in me for things that related to the relationship. No interest in where I grew up, my job, or anything else unless it impacted the relationship - Although I was at her place every day of the week, sat right next to her on the couch, hugged and kissed, she always questioned my dedication to the relationship. - Accused me of making excuses to get away when I needed to go home for a few hours on a Saturday to cut grass and do laundry. - Constantly questioned where the relationship stood. I was honest and told her I needed time to change my mindset to living with someone (and mainly her 3 dogs and 4 cats), just please give me time (keep in mind this is only 2-3 months into the relationship). One hang up was asking that we work on house training the dogs, who regularly went to the bathroom in the house. She simply said it was not possible to train these dogs not to do this. - Anything I did that she didn't find satisfactory (not cutting the grass to her liking, not telling her (only suggesting) ways to hang a picture) she interpreted to mean that I didn't care about her. - Seemed jealous of my house and car because they were things I worked on that took a little bit of time away from us being together. - She got a new job six weeks into our relationship, so she could receive email. The first one I sent, I didn't end with 'I love you', so I was questioned about that and pretty much had to sign them that way from then on. - She said things like 'You're my hero', 'You're my Rock', 'You're my Sanity', 'You're what gets me through the day'....at the time it was flattering, but now I think she may have relied on me too much to make her feel good about herself. - I felt like I couldn't talk to her because she would take things personally even if the topic had nothing to do with her. - Got jealous when I talked to her female neighbor (if I was interested, I could've dated the neighbor while my ex was with her previous boyfriend)…this neighbor was a very pleasant woman, a friend to both of us. - I asked that we slow down the relationship at one point, to which she responded 'this is slow for me' - I continually tried to reassure her that I wanted to be in the relationship and I loved her, but I eventually got to the point where I couldn't do it anymore. I guess the depression (or whatever it was) was showing and she said 'I've seen this before- you're getting ready to break up with me'- I guess she's drained guys before? - Towards the end, I started to feel like it was a chore to go see her and felt tremendous relief when I would leave for the night….I think I was starting to get depressed from her not understanding my need to slow things down and never having time to myself (just sitting home alone and thinking). I asked for a two nights a week to myself, and she thought I was preparing her for a break up. In truth I wasn't, but I was trying to figure out the issues I was having. This woman is 27 years old, and hasn't been single for any time longer than a few weeks since she was 13 years old. After we broke up, she went on the internet that night and signed up for a few dating websites…..A few days later we tried getting back together because I thought I could work out what was bothering me (which it turns out I still didn't know at the time), but she broke up with me after she met a guy from the internet who she is now dating. I did research and found many symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder, among other things, that she had. I saw how the relationship was with her former boyfriend of seven years- she controlled most of the household and was very difficult to compromise with, yet could be so sweet at times. So why is getting over her so difficult for me? She was a very sweet, loving person, but I wonder if it was only to be validated in return (since she had little interest in me otherwise)? Or because I know she is in a relationship now that appears to be working out and I am again questioning my part in the failed relationship (I know I had my part in it, but I don't think it was as much as I initially took the blame for)? Is depression/irritability a typical reaction to being 'smothered'? Did I get drained sooner than most people? Sorry for such a long post- Any similar stories or words of wisdom are appreciated.
  17. all men are dogs, but all women are a little {mod edit}, so dose that mean we are dogs to. Men can be kept by our love, respect, friendship and our smell. Men who is in love, love the sent, of the other person, as well as we do for the men. However there is life and men right now don't seem to love anymore only there self, how did this come to past and, why are we so scarded to tell men the truth they really truthfully can't live without us. And women, when our we gona tell the truth we can live without them. As long as it is with another women, which is a dog just like the men. So know one really is at fault, people life just happens but we have got to be respectful to our self an others. Stay real to yourself and the ones you love I hope you guy's and girl's understand GOOD LUCK IN LOVE AND LIFE
  18. If you have a dated someone out of your race ( black or another race). Post your experiences please. I am Spanish and I dated a couple black guys (2). They both changed and turned into someone different. They seemed to be fake and dogs. Let me know if you have had any of the same experience's.~~~ This is not some racist thread I am just being real.~ Also, are they pretty much known as players ?? Or does your oppion differ? __ Im just trying to get some input and read some stories___
  19. Hi, I was just dumped a few days ago after being in a five year relationship. We were months away from our wedding and had been living together. She moved out the other night and it kills me because the cloest is half full, the spot where her desk is empty, etc. I haven't really done much but drink. I don't have anything else to do. I don't have any friends besides my cats. I don't know anyone. I work for myself out of my home so I'm here all day. I have no intention to meet people ... never did. Mainly because I don't like drama, and more so, I don't like 'breakups.' She says she needs to find herself. I don't understand why she can't find herself here. I'm devestated and it's upsetting because I'm back to how I was six years ago: bitter, non-trusting, and non-caring. Any tips? This came out of the blue. C
  20. *Sorry in advance, I'm not even sure where to post this kind of topic* I've got some major issues about abandoned animals in the streets. Everybody goes like "Gosh, what is it with you? They're not your problem, leave them alone! Sheesh!" One of my biggest qualities... or maybe flaws, is that I tend to feel like adopting every dog and cat that is out there alone and hungry... I can't help it! Is too painful for me to see that! I feel COMPELED to do something... I've saved two cats (one of them is my current pet) and one dog from living in the streets. But there are thousands more. What am I supposed to do, for example with this two baby cats (brothers) that are right now outside my apartment crying because they're lonely and cold? I give them food and cuddles everyday, but I can't possibly adopt them... how I wish I could !!! Is killing me! So they stay out there, and I stay here... I think I'm suffering as much as they are... Im in Latin America, and here, if you call Animal Control, they take them away... and put them down to sleep!!!! There are no shelters, noone cares!!! Am I just being an idiot? Am I supposed not to care, just like everybody else? I can't, it simply breaks my heart!!! What to do ?!?!?!?! *major sobbing*
  21. I feel like a big whiner, but I need to vent a bit. My wife and myself had a baby 5 weeks ago. A very beautiful baby girl. For the first two weeks, my wife's mother was staying with us. Now, it turns out, and my wife has admitted this to me without me saying anything, that her mom is a pretty selfish person. I won't go into details, but for the couple of weeks she was here, it felt like I had yet another person to take care of. Going back to work was not easy either. It is ramping up to my busy time of year and our company has undergone some management reorganization and essentially, we, engineers, have been dumped on with massive amounts of work. So, the stress level at work has become very high. So, for the first couple of weeks back, it was difficult to handle work, come home, take care of my wife, baby AND her mom. To top that off, our baby is very colicy (sp?). I get home, make dinner, clean up, take care of a bunch of odds and ends and then take the baby by about 9 so my wife can get some sleep. We usually trade off at about 2 and I get up at 6. So, I have been getting an average of about 3-4 hours of sleep for 5 weeks now. Part of the problem is that my wife cannot pump breast milk and when the baby cries at night, I have to get my wife up. I feel really guilty because she is not getting enough sleep either. She won't put the baby down during the day because she is afraid that the baby is going to spit up and choke or she starts crying. I have gotten several calls during the day with my wife at her wits end because the baby won't stop crying. So, her mom finally went back home. Then, some of my wife's friends came over on the weekend. One of them had a cold and now we all have it. I have been pretty miserable with a sore throat and headache and no sleep. Yesterday, my wife's aunt is in town with her husband and they stayed over at the house during the day. The husband went out in the back yard with the dogs and started to play with my dog and I guess my dog nipped at him. This is a sore topic because my wife has already made me get rid of one of my dogs (black labs) and she has strongly insinuated that I should get rid of my other dog (although this dog has never done this before and my wife and her sister seem to team up on this one). My wife's dog on the other hand has his own set of annoyances, but I say nothing about these. Anyways, there was definitley a string of things going on that has mounted up the stress. I tried to vent a little bit with a friend at work, but it is the old thing. This friend and his wife don't have children and act all knowledgable about what we should be doing. It just gets annoying to be preached to from someone who knows nothing about the subject. Just a little support would be awesome. Thanks for letting me vent a little, Paul
  22. So I pulled out the pictures and all the memories of our 15 year friendship that was litterly taken away in minutes WE had been friends since we were in grade school, our parents' were best friends. We know everything about eachother, what eachother liked, disliked. We knew eachothers moods and when to back off. We were so alike yet, so different. We were inseperable, people envied our friendship. We were STRONG. We had all the little inside jokes, the inside memories. Things that we had done, that her and I only knew about. Our dogs were even best friends. Was it all fake? You always hear a 'true friend' should love you no matter what, should be there no matter what. Take you with all your faults, be equvilent to family member. I thought we were all those things. I was wrong, was it fake? I honestly believe I will NEVER have a friendship like this again. I grew up with this girl, she knew all about me; everything and vice versa. How can I ever get close to another person, and trust another person like that again? Was it just us growing apart? Or was it not what we thought it was? Cause there was no saving it. And now things are very bitter and ugly. She is out to hurt me, and if she was ever really my friend why would she do that even if we aren't friends now? Im just really sad, and needing someone to talk to You've all be soooo insightful so far. I really appreciate any help. Real friends are hard to find
  23. I had a relationship with a woman for about 6 months. We had been friends for some time before this, so I thought we would be good together. The problem was that once we started dating, she wanted me there anytime I wasn't at work. I would usually stay over once or twice a week, but was there every evening and weekend. Once when I had to leave on a Saturday morning to cut the grass and do laundry, she told me I was just looking for an excuse to leave. I cut her grass once because we were getting ready to go out and it needed done. She didn't say anything at the time or act unappreciative, but later she thought that since I didn't do it right, it meant I didn't care about her. Apparently I was supposed to cut it three times to get the stuff that I didn't get the first times around. She would obsess about where the relationship stood- she was ready to move in after a month. I told her I had a lot to get used to- going from living alone to living with her and her three little dogs and four cats....not what she wanted to hear, but it was only a few months into the relationship. A big issue was one dog like to go to the bathroom in the house- I tried to get her to do something to train him, but she just said that the breed is difficult or impossible to train, so occasionally there would be poop or pee in the living room, kitchen, etc. It seems that she was always scared of breaking up- I tried to comfort her by saying that I don't NEED to be here, I WANT to be here, but she said 'that means you could leave at any time'. When I finally told her that I needed a couple evening a week alone, she said I was just preparing her for a breakup....I couldn't make sense of a lot she would say or think. There were numerous other guilt trips and issues, but she was so sweet and loving that it was hard to get mad at her. I started to feel drained, and possibly depressed from (I assume) the steady need for reassurance that I loved and cared about her (she said I love you about a week or two into the relationship). One reason I'm asking is that a mutual friend told me that her new guy (who she met over the internet within a week of our breakup, and I dated her within days of her breakup with her previous BF) that she's been dating about 6 months said he'd move in as soon as he gets his place ready for sale. Now that is done and he's saying he's not ready to leave his friends (this is about a 45 minute drive away)....I don't know if he's also getting emotionally drained and making excuses, or if he'll eventually do it, but it made me wonder that if he's ready to do this, do I get drained quicker than most people out there would in this situation? How long would you give yourself to get drained?
  24. This one of those kinda sing-songy poems that picks on guys with a chip on their shoulders that dont get why girls aren't into em lol. I related to this, and when I finished I laughed so much lol, Was I really that sad? rofl Hahaha! --------- I guess I've been thinking a lot and I dont know what to do I've been awful lonely a lot and in the mood for you but ladies aint ready for me a gentleman, a scholar, a friend I don't mean to blow my horn but I'm a genuine kinda man I've been to a from, oh yes i live on the edge, try it once I Listen real good, won't runaway Late night talks, and breakfast in bed i'll make ya feel right at home. so tell me once i'll remember twice and I will make you feel so very nice I'm that dependable kinda guy the guy that will never leave your side I tend to get trampled battered, beaten, abused oh you devils what you do to me I'm so bold and i've been told your much too good for me But in reality, I'm like a snake wrapped round your neck like a child tugging at your sleeve I'm like a dog man's best friend like a boy who wants to be a man.
  25. Something There is something in the hum of a house that makes it a home. Something in the high pitched voices of young children and the chatter and laughter of play. The swish of running water, the clink of dishes coming clean, and baths being drawn. Something, in the click click click of the dog crossing the kitchen to lie on the cool floor. And there is something in the arguments about folded socks and lost shoes and too little time. Something in the quickness in which we dismiss each other and our selves. There is something in the silence too, the exchanged looks of love and anger the embraces, a kiss, and yet even in this quiet, there is a constant buzz like a hive of bees constructing, forming, creating, something beautiful like a honeycomb in your heart.
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