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About Me

  1. I wish I wasn’t mixed. I’m 18. I’m black/white; African dad, European mom. I currently live in the United States, but growing up, I lived all over Europe. My dad is a former professional football player and he played for a few clubs in Europe, so we moved frequently when I was younger. We settled in the States after my dad retired. Been here a few years. I’ve always been a bit insecure about my mixed heritage. And it’s always made me feel guilty cause my parents are really great, loving and supportive; I’m lucky to have them. I feel like my feelings are a betrayal to them. But I’ve just ne
  2. In this journal I will write about my daily life and some general thoughts. I like to write down my thoughts so a journal on ENA would be the ideal place. I will keep practicing my English too. Funny how easy is to forget something if you don’t practice it . I got a good job as web developer the previous week .It’s my first serious job and it will affect my whole career as I am going to be in the IT field for the rest of my life. So, a new chapter is beginning. I haven’t been placed in a team yet but this will happen next week. Probably as a front end developer but it’s inevitable to wor
  3. Hey! I'm 23 and I was always a quiet kid. Ever since kindergarten (according to my mother) I used to sit alone and only get along with 1-2 people, wouldn't really participate in group games, etc. My grandparents taught me to read and write before 1st grade so I was focused on books while most other kids were focused on playing and having fun. My parents also have always had a very cynical view on most people installed from very early on (as in "don't trust people, people don't care about you, people are not your friends", etc.). My parents forced me to study and would lock me in my room for
  4. Post your most memorable movie quotes (or dialogue) here. I'm thinking not necessarily the most well known (Life is a box of chocolates), but those which stuck with you for some reason. If you wanna say why its memorable to you, even better. To start: From "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" (major paraphrasing) Mona Stangley : And Jesus went to a wedding where he turned the water into wine Sheriff Earl Dodd: He was a great man, and he knew how to throw a party Mona: Earl, I can't believe you said that, that's sacrilegious Earl: I know, I know. But God forgives me.
  5. I've always been someone who wasn't quick on their feet with learning or following directions or what have you. I don't know why but I've always been a little slow at doing things.My parents always referred to me as knucklehead or slow, they do it in a playful way but I know they're serious about. Throughout life people have always said things about how much of an idiot I am. I often make mistakes with everything I do and it's so hard for me to focus and catch on to the most simple things and tasks. At my new job a lot of people don't like working with me because they know how backwards I a
  6. First time poster, and I really need advice. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 6 years, but this past year, we have been fighting nonstop. Mostly the fights are about living stituations (I told him I don’t want to live in his parents yard forever), having attitudes with one another, him going to the bars with his/our friends (& never inviting me), his friends talking about me, and some other odds and ends. Essentially, almost every fight results in him telling me to leave (move back to my parents). I have packed several times and gotten ready to leave, where he then explodes an
  7. It seems every weekend I cry at some point because my father is gone and yes, he wasn’t a good parent and we had almost no relationship for almost 30 years but he was still my father . I may not have liked who he was ,what he stood for or any of his life decisions but I did love him. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that I will never hear him or see him again. He was still a human being with a story. And that story and knowledge is forever gone. And that in itself is a tragedy.
  8. Sorry guys it's me again. You can read my old posts to see how much of a mess I am. I don't even mean to get into these situations. It's my friend again. We didn't talk for months, because of something stupid. I didn't block him, but I erased his number and unfriended, just to let myself get over him. But he's back, again, and for a few weeks, I was doing really well staying indifferent. I didn't text him or call him, if he texted, I would answer, but you know, I wasn't like I usually am. I did so good for awhile. And even now, I still have my guard up, but it's getting really har
  9. I'm new to this forum so excuse me if I'm not that clear in what I'm about to say. I have been married for almost two years now. We got married after a very short relationship which was wonderful and very loving. We saw eachother every day and he was extremely attached to me, which was pretty unusual because of the length of time we had known eachother. Right away in the relationship he expressed his wish to marry me and start a family. To be honest I had a feeling that we were rushing things but he was the first person that I really felt that I was in love with. I got pregnant and
  10. I have started a relationship with someone about 4 years ago, she is really nice and we think of each other as family, I have never told anyone about her and don't know if I should, my parents don't want me using socail media of any sort. I stay up all night just talking to her, and I never get any sleep. Any advice?
  11. Profile 26 yo, African American Male, 5,10, Athletic Build, interfacial Relationship. Hello Everyone, I'll keep my name anonymous incase the post goes viral. Long story short I'm having some relationship issues. These issues derived in earlier this year with the lost of a Job. I had my own place, and my significant other still lives with her parents (which bums her out from time to time). With the lost of my job I had to give up my apartment, because COVID made unemployment impossible to receive. So, I ended up moving in with her and her parents. Now, initially I thought this all t
  12. That my husband and his family, who have acted like my family over the last decade, wouldn't validate my belief that I experienced emotional abuse. I don't know why I want the validation so badly, but it hurts that I was made to feel like a little girl whining about normal husband and wife fighting and that I'm too soft for marriage. My husband said he's remorseful (and definitely seemed distraught) but he refuses to agree to the term abuse, which was important to me. Like, am I crazy? I find it abusive to threaten divorce, to fight with me to the point that I'm crying and continue to do so, t
  13. So my ex and I had a great relationship together for about 2yrs and we both graduated high school as sweethearts together in 2020. We had plans with each other for the future and everything looked great. Shortly after we graduated she had to move to college for the summer because of sports. She wasn’t able to come and visit because of corona. I had a difficult time visiting as well because of this and my parents and job . So we were practically long distance and of course with that we had our arguments and things weren’t overall pretty and we just kept feeling more distant. Soon the summer wa
  14. My grandmother did drugs when she was raising my mother, specifically in high school. Because of that my mother had a horrible childhood. However...my grandmother got clean towards the last 20 years of her life. She was able to be a great grandmother to me. She took on the role of the second parent and partially raised me: picked me up from school, was there when I got home, was excited to ask me about my day. I feel that me being born gave my grandmother and grandfather a chance to be viewed in a new light without a past and they were grateful for that treated me like a princess. Howe
  15. Would love advice on what to do in a situation where I’ve been a long term relationship with someone for over 20 years and separated by a border. I don’t think either of us knew it would last this long. It’s complicated: First off, we live in different countries (Can/US). We have kids, separately (all are now grown and out of the house). Family is important to us both and while mine has accepted him (from the beginning), his parents still refuse to meet me and want nothing to do with me. He feels helpless. They have a strained relationship and often don’t speak to him or include him in family
  16. It’s no secret. I am an introvert and don’t like company. In doses. Husband is a good man. We spent a lot of money doing up our home. Moved into a good suburban place and great for kids too. I had to spend 9 months living at in-laws. Wasn’t happy about this but there wasn’t a choice as we wanted to free up money from previous home to do the refurb. We were living with them, they would visit our house project daily too. I appreciate they cooked, and gave us a roof over our heads but missed our own space. I really struggled with all this. In the process, a house opposite me two doors dow
  17. I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was a child. From what I recall, the bulk of the abuse took place when I was 6 to around 11. However I do remember he tried to do it again when I was 12, and at that stage, I knew it was wrong, and managed to get away. He is five years older than me. I think my mother knew what was happening. I once kicked in the glass front door in a temper when they left us alone and she asked me "do you be alright with him here by yourself". The abuse has shaped my life in many ways. For years, I identified as lesbian. It's only over the last few years I
  18. My brother and I have always had a pretty good relationship despite living in a turbulent household (parents always arguing and dad, cheating). We're both in our twenties and I'm his older sister by 5 years. In our culture, we stay with our parents until marriage, and family is everything. So despite all the turmoil between our parents, we've all always tried to work things out to keep our family together. I've always been a mega nerd, scoring high marks and basically just dedicating my life to academics. My brother's always been extremely social and has gotten into trouble over the years (get
  19. Lately I have been constantly daydreaming about situations where I would struggle and have to be strong. Things like my parents dying and me having to deal with the grief, or being hit by a car and recovering. In these daydreams I’m not afraid. Instead I feel almost like I desire the suffering. And it’s not that I desire pain itself - I don’t want to be hurt - but I want to be in a situation where I can be brave and strong and be a fighter. Generally I struggle with depression which usually causes apathy and lack of interest in life, so I thought maybe this was me imagining dramatic and li
  20. Two weeks ago my friend set me up with this guy she knows from high school. We texted for a few days then went on a date and it was fun! He seemed quite into me on the date, and afterwards he told my friend that he liked me and thought I was really cool. He also texted me right after and told me he had a good time and suggested he’d like to do it again soon. Unfortunately he had to leave town the day after our date to go see his parents for a week, but I felt pretty confident he would ask me out again when he got back. Now, I am not the biggest texter, especially when I’m first getting to
  21. To start I married someone from Vietnam. I knew her for 5 years, met here in Vietnam to propose, and brought her here then married her. When she came here she knew she would live with my parents. While I work on and fix a house next door. My parents need me to stay with them to help financially. We had an argument and my parents joined in. Now she is staying at her relatives saying she will not return to this house. She wants us to get an apartment together. I told her that my parents won’t be able to afford this place and it not like we would be living in the same house once the o
  22. (Sorry for my English) Hello guys, my situation is as follows, I'm 31 years old, my ex-girlfriend is 23, we dated for about 2 years, last year we had a separation for about a month, because I decided to finish with her for my stupidity, there was no serious problem I just got bored and broke up with her. We were not talking for a month, then I contacted her indirectly asking her opinion on certain issues etc., and we kept talking until we rebuilt the connection we had and came back better than ever. Since that time, we were fine and we had a great relationship until April this year, since t
  23. My husband and I have a 10 month old baby. We are currently living with his parents in Hawaii ( we live in Los Angeles) to get away from the craziness in LA. Since being here, I feel so neglected. After the baby, we hardly have sex anymore and my husband is not as affectionate anymore. Now that we are living with his parents, it’s even worst . He doesn’t even seem to want to have sex anymore, not affectionate at all . my love language is touch and when I don’t get that, I don’t feel loved. And when I don’t feel loved, my attitude is just depressing. Now it’s just all about our daughter now. H
  24. So myself and this girl have been working together for around a year and formed a really strong friendship and recently I have become single (3 months single) and I am starting to open my eyes to an opportunity here as I fancy the absolute pants off her. Recently we have become super close and openly talk about pretty much everything, family, career, friends, literally no boundaries between us especially since my break up. We sometimes play on this as we're so close a lot of people think we are together and have a bit of a laugh with them, however now she's met the parents and now the parents
  25. So this past year my family moved to a new state and I met the girl of my dreams. She’s stunning and everything I have ever wanted in a girl and we clicked so well together. For better or worse, before I could pose the question of where we are going with this I got some devastating news, that we were moving again. We agreed to keep talking though. I even mentioned that she could come visit me at my new house (it is on a beach) and she was so excited at the idea because she had never been. Also, with me going off to college soon and her already in college, she said she would not want me to hav
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