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About Me

Found 7 results

  1. My husband (32M) and I (29F) dated long distance for 2 years, and finally got married this past September during COVID. He is an Alberta native, and I a Virginia native. I know I love my husband, because there are things I do and sacrifices I’ve made that I wouldn’t do for anyone else! He makes me feel loved, sexy, and very comfortable. But... I have some reservations. Within the past 8 months, I’ve moved from America to western Canada to be with my husband. He works in the oil sands, where his work schedule requires him to be away from me every other week for a whole week. So I technically see him every other week. The week that I’m home, I’m miserable and super depressed. As a natural extrovert, trying to assimilate into a new country during COVID has been hell. I know no one here and we’ve pretty much been on lockdown since I’ve been here. But despite this hardship, I try my best to keep busy & use that time to do things to make my husband’s life easier for when he returns. While he’s away, we speak on the phone maybe about 20 min a day, often in silence. I try to initiate conversation and talk about things, but he’s often times too tired to engage. When he returns for a week, he often times spends about ~two days to recover from work. Knowing this, I try not to nag or bother and just let him relax. The remaining five days are weird. We spend a lotttt of time with his parents, maybe 3 of the 7 days he’s in town. We also spend a good amount of time with his friends, where he claims it’s for me & to try to give me a sense of normalcy. We rarelyyyy have intellectual and stimulating conversations. He’s a slightly obese and has expressed a serious interest in losing weight, but doesn’t seem to want to eat healthy or workout. He doesn’t seem to know much about anything, so I don’t feel challenged or feel like he’s “teaching” me anything. I tend to usually remind him of things regarding his own stuff, or his parents’ stuff— and sometimes even do both parties’ stuff for them (i.e. filling out paperwork, making accounts on various platforms, etc.)When I try to talk to him about just random things, like you do with your friends, he tends to not seem interested and often times has an ADD moment & interrupts me to change the subject. Sometimes I almost feel like a part-time mother, and not a full-time lover/friend/wife. I know most of you are probably wondering if I’ve ever brought up any of this to him, and for the most part, I feel like I’ve expressed most of the concerns mentioned. But when telling him how I feel, I can see his face changing and he instantly becomes devastated. He gets sad that “he can never do right by me”, and then I am full of regret and want to take back the moment I even opened my mouth. I don’t know, I feel like my thoughts are all over the place. It hurts cause I love him so much, but I almost don’t feel satisfied with my marriage and I’m a newlywed! How is it that someone SO NICE, SO CARING, SO LOVING can make me feel unhappy? Has anyone experienced anything similar, or feel like they have a piece of advice they can share with me? I cannot imagine my life without him, but I can see myself slowly deteriorating. I cry about this regularly and in secret, but I just don’t know what to do anymore.
  2. Hi everyone, This is my first time posting this issue in a forum like this. Please bear with me as this is a hard thing for me. My wife and I have been together for the past 8 years, and just got married about a year ago. We have a phenomenal relationship-- we're very, very close and are each other's best friend. I love her family, she loves mine, etc. It's a fantastic relationship, and I am very thankful for that. We're 110% devoted to each other. For the first 2-3 years of dating, we were very sexual and had a very healthy, regular sex life (2-3 times/week). After that, it dropped off further and further to the point where it's about once (maybe twice) per month on average. We've had many discussions about this, and she really wants to try harder and feels bad for things being this way, but she doesn't follow through. She *rarely* even "services" me just to satify me when she's not in the mood for sex. I try cuddling to get her in the mood, am not pushy at all, will give shoulder/neck rubs when she's stressed, but she doesn't respond even though those are the things she says gets her in the mood. She was slightly overweight for the past few years, but it never bothered me-- only her. But recently she lost 30 lbs and looks great, so I don't think that's it, but who knows. This is tearing me up. Everything else is great, but the sex life is miserable, miserable, miserable. Anyone else in this situation? Any advice??? Thanks in advance, Guy
  3. My husband and I have been married for 3 months and our fighting began 2 days afer the wedding. The trouble started when his interest in sex with me stopped right after we said "I do". Prior to the wedding we had a great and steady sex life but since then it seems he is not interested as often and has even said that sex was better prior to marriage. I am tired of always initiating our sexual encounters. Over the past week I have also found out that he was chatting online with another woman who hosts a porn site, and I have discovered that he lies to me about very petty things. It seems like our relationship was much better before marriage. I love him dearly and don't want to become an old bitter couple before we ever get a chance to be happy. HOw can I trust him again and how do I get him to want to have sex with me more often?
  4. OK~ this is just weird. . . We've been married for 3 months. He has always been the "only eyes for you" type and he has never done or said anything to make me think otherwise. He's always been like "I got better at home" type. Today, he said something strange to me. . . He said: "Don't be weirded out, or think anything bad.... but lately, I can't stop looking at other women. I'm like a 17 year old boy all over again. I am a hornball 24/7" I was driving and I just gave him a side-long glance to see if he was pulling my leg, but he was serious and seemed a little distressed about it. He seemed annoyed by it. He said "Before we got married, I never, EVER, looked or cared about other women, but the last two weeks, the only thing I notice everywhere I go is T & A." Needless to say, that shocked me and freaked me out beyond belief. . . but I didn't let him know, b/c he was being open with me and I tried to sort it out by telling him that I too had been feeling a little weird since we got married (I felt a little trapped all of the sudden, and like I wasn't going to accomplish all my goals, etc, etc). I also tried to tell him that it was probably that sudden "forbidden fruit syndrome" and that now that we were married, the seriousness of it was really dawning on us, yadda yadda. To be totally honest. . . I'm so freaked. Part of the reason I love him and married him was/is because of that!!! I mean he never looked at other women. He was so comfortable with me and I suited his every need, and the fact that I made him so happy, makes ME so happy (not to mention he makes me happy). I'm not a jealous person by ANY means, but this sudden revelation made me feel unusally vulnerable and shot my self-esteem more than I thought. I'm a good-looking, slim, sculpted from working out, woman.... but I'm telling you, my blood ran cold. I do not mind him looking, but this sudden surge of interest he's talking about made me want to faint! Has this happened to anyone?! Should I be concerned? I don't want to touch the subject too much with him b/c I don't want him to think I'm freaking... it's hard enough for him to share feelings like that about himself eithout me freaking out when he does open up.
  5. Hi, Has anyone out there ever been very unhappy as a newlywed, feeling the the marriage may have been a mistake, but stuck it out and is now married to that same person and happy? I have been married for almost 10 months and I am very unhappy, but something is keeping me from calling it quits and I dont know what it is. I'm just wondering if all this bad stuff will finally go away one day and i'll be happy again or am i just wasteing my time?????
  6. Ricky and Mary were seventeen When they met in Geography class On Friday Ricky was a football hero Every Sunday Mary went to Mass At Moonlight Gardens Pavilion Two seniors at the Homecoming Dance Ricky was thinking of college Mary knew she had found her man That spring Mary got pregnant Soon after Ricky made her his wife One day of champagne and wedding cake The newlyweds began their new life Mary had a boy in October Two years later she gave birth to a girl Ricky worried about his house and family Mary had all she wanted in this world Rick worked hard selling clean used cars Sundays Mary waited tables at the Grill His was a life one of quiet desperation And he became tired of paying that bill Now ten years has burned down that road Ricky spends most of his nights at the Inn Mary cries herself to sleep at night Wanting happiness can’t be a sin
  7. Even though there is this "divorce statistic," honestly, coming from people in perfectly fine relationships, they still worry about it. And yes, people in "perfect" (as in, really good) relationships can still get divorced, but-- I'm wondering if it's being made into a bigger deal than it needs to be, just like relationships are all different. Why do newlyweds and those who are thinking about marriage even consider divorce rates? It's not like this thing that is destined to happen to everyone. It's wise to be aware of divorce statistics (such as, ask yourself, are you too young, not been together long enough, etc.) but I mean, how it applies to YOU, and not as a statistic that means it IS going to happen. I just think it's a load of crap, to be honest. I think the thought of it kind of ruins a lot of people's relationships because all they think about is becoming another statistic. Why can't people just have confidence and forget about it? I'm not asking because I'm concerned at all. I'm more interested in why people care about how other people's relationships turn out because they are unique to them. And I also wonder if people get divorced because they get too afraid of becoming part of the statistics. Just curious what people think of it. _Martha
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