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We work together on a couple of projects. Known each other for 2 years. We are in a sense best friends at work, where we have breakfast lunch and occasionally dinner together. Both of us are married. We acknowledged the existence of our partners and do talk about them in passing comments. We talk a lot, work and personal, on both work chat and texting since we exchange numbers. Started out only during work hours and business days, but weekend we give each other space. As we get to be more comfortable with each other’s presence, conversations increased… past work hours and on weekends. We talk about random things through out the days; some days, he became my ears when I’m frustrated with work, and vice versa; while some days we share things we found online that makes us laugh and discuss the plan for the day when it’s worth sharing. We go out for drinks after work every chance we got, just the two of us. We are comfortable with each other where we prefer to just hangout without the others. A few weeks ago before I took leave of absence for carer leave, I confessed to him that I am developing feelings for him. I explained in such a way that hopefully makes sense as to why it is what it is. However, I don’t want to/ feel comfortable to discuss this with him beyond my confession but I figured it’s best if we talk and he agrees, with confusion written all over his face. I fear even acknowledging whether he dislike or like me. Just the thought of what may come of it scares me so I babbled my way out of this, and did not let him speak to the point where we both have to engage some other way to be coherent. I told him that I am uncomfortable to even talk about this because this confession brings trouble to our friendship, but I am in a state where I want to share without expecting anything back. It is relieving, and I felt comfortable sharing given how transparent we are to a degree that felt safe. I have not chatted him since, and he respected my privacy as per my request to not talk about it until we see each other… unsure when that will be given that my carer leave can be anywhere between 2-4 weeks, depending on situation. What should I do, and what should he do? I am definitely in the wrong to confess, but I’m also looking for some affirmation that our relationship at work has surpassed what is normal, and in a sense want an escape hatch whenever things get stressful at work/home. I hope what I shared provide some perspective to have your help to either reason out of this mess or help me consider trialing fwb - if the latter, how should I approach?
Firstly, Happy Mother's Day to all... Today, as usual, one of my relatives brought his wife and their son here for the afternoon... I sat on the dinner table... and started noticing she (the wife) would get jumpy/agitated/nervous when in close proximity to me... She would start talking fast... to laugh nervously... Moreover, If I'm nearby, not even close to her... she starts acting the same way... nervous... Later her husband called her to go home, and she quickly and -- nervously -- replied "Yeah!"... She got so nervous she nearly forgot to say goodbye to me (maybe she didn't want to?!)... Also noticed he got pissed off at me for seemingly no reason. I went to say goodbye to him... he stared at me for a few seconds before shaking my hand. This has been happening for a few weeks already. I can always feel this weird tension whenever they are here... Mind you: I didn't even look at her. In fact I did my best to not even talk to her. I would never address her directly... much less try and make a move on her... because she has a friggin husband...