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Showing results for tags 'malice'.
So this is has been in my head for a little while as something of a flaw in my character(I mean, I suppose. I don't know what else to call it). For a good long while as I was trying to find work, fighting depression and poverty and generally trying to get my head above water, I had to deal with working a number of office and call center jobs and found that there were a number of people who knew my family and there was a narrative among a few that knew of my situation and had, let's say, "opinions" about me, my character and my way through life. There a number of different thing said: I was laughed at by a manager that was "roasting" me indirectly, of course not using my name, about a physically abusive situation followed by emotional abuse, blame and what have you, I faced from several family members(this was information I did not share voluntarily with that manager, by the way); was mocked senselessly by a number of ex-coworkers who laughed my poverty situation and the deep, DEEP financial struggles I was facing; and, last but not least during a job that stressed me out so much in itself that I now have NAFLD as result, I was relentlessly bullied by a janitor who said "I was too old now to make something of life", and dude that, literally right behind my back, said all sorts of cruel things about me and my job situation while staring at my bald spot and yet another roasting by a group of people with whom I was training. These are some of the more outstanding examples but there are many more. The only saving grace I had in that last job, by the way, was getting to work at home shortly before starting so as to be able to deal with only the one stress which was the job itself. Honestly, I know that office environments can get rather toxic and I know that it's not my business to control who says what about you. What I want to do is get help, because I might to face this in the future, with how to deal with the stress this behavior causes me. I have problem dealing with malicious from others as it brings up feelings of expendability, helplessness and anger and I need to find ways to deal with them so that they don't cause the anxieties or, the case with the latest job I had, medical complications so that I can deal with this sort of passive malice without it affecting my personal life AFTER my shift is over. Does anyone have any tips, techniques or ideas that can help mitigate the negative feelings associated with being confronted with this behavior? I feel if I have the right guidance I can develop the tools necessary to cope with such toxic, ridiculous, BS in the future. Thanks it advance!