Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'long-distance relationship'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


  • Relationships
    • Dating Advice
    • Relationship Advice
    • Infidelity
    • Online Dating
    • Friendship and Friends
    • Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
    • Abuse and Violence
    • Long-Distance Relationships
    • Age Gap Relationships
    • Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
    • Trust and Relationships
    • Marriage/Long Term Relationships
  • Breaking up and Divorce
    • Breaking Up Advice
    • Divorce Advice
    • Getting Back Together
    • Healing After Break Up or Divorce
  • Personal Growth
    • Personal Growth
    • Career, Money and Education
    • Grief Loss and Bereavement
  • Families
    • Parenting and Families
    • Pets
  • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
  • Sex and Romance
    • Sex and Romance
    • Pregnancy
  • Emotions and Feelings
    • Emotions and Feelings
    • Jealousy
  • General Forums
    • Forum Assistance
  • Journals's Journals
  • Journals's Private Journals
  • Off Topic's Topics
  • Book Talk's Topics
  • Travel and Culture's Topics
  • Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics


  • Articles
  • Youtube
  • News

Find results in...

Find results that contain...

Date Created

  • Start


Last Updated

  • Start


Filter by number of...


  • Start



About Me

Mod Notes

  1. Has anyone here ever made the tough decision of ending the current relationship to try things with the ex again. I have been going out with a girl for 9 months, sort of a LDR as i see her twice a week. I had no idea it was going to last this long and she was going to be an awesome person. I'll admit i was more into the sex thing at 1st then she grew on me and she truly is awesome. The problem is im still friends with my ex and i often think about her and how it could have been. Shes a great person also and now im split up between 2 awesome people. Most people its hard to find one good person nevermind 2. I been apart from my ex for almost 2 years. Has anyone ever made this tough decision or has advice. Is it normal to think about what if. I mean why do i think about what could be if i have something good now. I think the biggest mistake i made in this was to remain friends with my ex but now its too late to simply end our friendship and its not right to end it with my current gf to try things with my ex. let me know what you guys think.
  2. I cant believe it Im am horrified and insane a long distance relationship for six years. in love, permanently together forever, camping, traveling, every weekend seeing one another, completely loyal satisfied happy, in love After this weekend we spent together , great, we made plans to spend next weekend together, my turn to drive the four hours, By tuesday he doesnt ever call ignores my calls avoids me, etc etc. Friday morngin I get ahold of him and he makes all these excuses said he needs a break is tired of everything there is no one else doesnt want to break up but needs a break from US doesnt want to hurt me , needs time, etc etc. Im crushed I m not coming up to see him I asked why he said no reason, I m broken crushed cannot breathe told him id grant his wishand leave him alone although I cant figure it out I ithought wed be together For sure forever we had been plannign a trip and everything now, its obviou he is all of the suddent through. I dont think I can take it I think I can for a moment but then I just cant I go crazy I m broken I can barely breathe.
  3. 3 days ago my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. It was out of the blue. our relationship was perfect up until this last week then he broke up with me. I just moved from Durango (where he lives and I graduated from) to Colorado Springs. It is a 5 hour drive and he didnt want a long distance realtionship. I had to move to get a job and I asked him that if I would have gotten a job there would he still have broken up with me and he said maybe. I feel so alon. I really love him and I told him that and I asked him why he didnt care about me enough to make this work and he said it was because he knew from the start that it would end when I left so he didnt let himself fall for me. the thing is I know he cares about me. when I went to mexico for a week he had texted me the night before I came home " I miss you, I need you, I want to touch you and be with you. please get home soon so I can see you." he would text me and say this stuff to me all the time. everyone who met him told me how much they saw how much he cared about me. my dad thinks its becasue its no longer convienent for him. I think he still loves me but he can't admit it to me or himself. I think he is scared of me because our reltionship was actually really good and a;; his past realtionships were bad with tons of fighting. I know that if we were in the same town and I had a job we could be together and be really happy. both of us. someone please tell me how to get him back. I took some advise that was posted on here and I am not going to contact him for a while but I need some advice. I really think he is the one. please help
  4. Hi guys, I guess this fits into this category, but i'm not totally sure. Anyway, on to my latest problem: About three weeks ago i started talking to a girl who contacted me via online personals (not the girl I was posting about at that time, but coincidentally someone else entirely). Thigs have been going pretty good, its basically long distance for now as she goes to a college about an hour and a half away and neither of us owns a car. For the last three weeks we've been conversing via email and Im, which has been going great, we exchange fairly long emails with ewach other at least once a day, and when we talk on IM its usually for several hours at a time. So based on that we decided to start talking on the phone, and had our first conversation friday, and just had another one today. These didn't go as well, I seem to freeze up when on the phone, and just can't think of anything to say at times other than "thats great' or "thats funny" or some other basic answer to what ever her topic was, although eventually we could get a decent conversation going, but sooner or later i would go blank again. Each conversation lasted only about 30-45 minutes, with her ending both conversations. I got the impression after the first conversation that she thought I was losing interest, so the next day i sent her an email letting her know that i'm not the best phone conversationalist. One of the things we have discussed periviously is that we both suffer from a great deal of social anxiety, especially when meeting new people. She seems sympathetic to my problem, and willing to be patient while i try and acclimate myself to talking with her on the phone (I rarely talk on the phone beyond calling family or someone to meet up to do work during the school day). I'm glad she's being understanding, but i don't want to leave her bored while i search for something to say, and i don't want her to have to carry every conversation we have. So can anybody give me any tips on how to better conduct myself on the phone? Its not like I don't have things to talk to her, its just that i can't seem to come up with anything good while i'm talking to her. I'm guessing as with any other anxiety issue i've faced, it will get better the more i talk with her. Any advice would be helpful, mtastic
  5. ok im new to this site and me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship during the school year, for college. anyways i went to see her last weekend and i haven't gotten her to orgasm in a very long time. we don't have sex i usually finger her and give her oral. i've gotten some tips on what to do and i tried it on her and she said it felt alot better than last time, but i still can get her to orgasm. is it her? is it me? whats going on?
  6. Okay everyone - about a month and a week ago me and my girlfriend broke up after 2 years about 5 months of dating. This wasn't a hasty breakup at all.. the *only* reason we broke up is because neither one of us wanted to do long-distance anymore. I was in Atlanta for a year, and now I'm in Columbia away from her again. We still love eachother, just long distance was becoming too hard. A month or so went by and I was very close to getting over here, but then last week she came back to me and we got back together. She called me and said she didnt' want to live without me, and it seemed so for the first two days. Then after that she started changing - college is changing her. She usually tells me everything.. but something became weird. I'm not a jealous guy at all, but I checked her AOL info and she was speaking of some guy in there, saying how great it was to get to know him, and how she hoped it would get better (???).. then she got offline with me one time, and said she'd talk to me later because she was going over her friends house.. then she left another message for the guy to call over her friends house (???).. she also smoked weed with this guy (and another girl and guy) for the first time two days ago.. and I'm like.. what? That's something I could never see her doing.. but hrm. err, but whatever, I blew it off. Yesterday we broke up again, she says she thought it would be better this time, but it wasn't.. and how she couldn't see herself cheating on me.. and stuff like that. This got me to think that she'd rather break up than cheat on me, which is good. I respect that - or better yet I think she's confused right now. Like I said before, she's not the kind to just start smoking weed like this with people she's only known for 2 weeks.. and change all of a sudden.. so I think she has to get her mind together before any more relationships. This is long, I'm sorry.. but here's the thing, we were broken up for a month, I was almost over her, then we get back together for a week (we didnt' even see eachother) - and then break up again!! So now I kinda have to go through it all over again.. but not completely. This breakup didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it did a month and a week ago.* So - any advice on anything I said above? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *edit* also.. even when we broke up.. she still took all my pictures to her dorm and put them on her ceiling so I'd be the first thing she'd see when she got up.. and all on her walls. It's strange, she loves me.. and so do I, but both of us know that it just shouldn't be right now.*
  7. This will probably sound like just another general long-distance relationship, but i figured I might as well get an opinion other than my own on this situation. About a year ago, I went on vacation (a cruise to be precise) and met a few new people, one of which was a girl. On the cruise nothing special happened but we became friends. We talked online and on the phone for about 6 months after that and soon began to realize that we had a definite connection between the two of us. Eventually I told her that i liked her alot (yes in that way) and coincidentally she did the same with me. There was one problem, she lives about 12 hours away (driving distance) from me. We continued our relationship in a very simple manner: never forgetting the way we felt about each other, but at the same time not getting too carried away about it in the even that we didnt see each other. Recently, she and I both turned 16, but in her area she was able to get her liscence for driving, wheras I was only able to get my permit. Now that we can drive, she and I have promised to come see each other at some point. A few nights ago though, we talked about her coming out here to see each other sometime. She offered to come out the next day, but unfortunately her parents aren't too keen on her driving that long and far yet. I accepted it and told her not to worry, we will see each other soon at some point. Unfortunately though, my anticipation to see her (and hers as she's told me) has grown much more than usual. I realize it is only natural, but it is very hard to deal with especially when I know she won't be here tomorrow or something. Does anyone have any suggestions of things to do at all (beyond just thinking about something else) that might help me not worry so much about this? Has anyone else been through anything like this that could give me a few ideas?
  8. Hi everyone. I'm new to this forums. I've hung around for a while and I like the good advice given by everyone... Ok, here's my problem: I'm a tenth grader (will start 10th grade in a couple of weeks...). I've never been in a real relationship (the only other girl I've been "involved" with was more like a brother/sister relationship...) I met this gorgeous girl in 9th grade... I've never seen any other girl as beautiful as her... Ok, I moved to a place 3 hours away, and decided to ask her email. We've spoken a couple of times and everything seemed to be going great. Until when she stated that I should forget her because she thinks I'll never see her. I've never met anyone who is as nice (I think...) and beautiful as her... Well, the question is: Should I start an LDR with her? I mean, I'd try to see her at least 2-3 times a month (except when there's holidays, when I'd go see her immediately...). Besides, it'd just be for a year... but you see, that's the good side... the bad side is that I don't want her to feel lonely... I don't think she would cheat on me, but if she did, I think I would understand (I wouldn't cheat on her, but it's because I'm used to being lonely, but I don't think she is...). So, does anyone think it's worth it? I'd like to promise her I will see her at least 2-3 times each month, but if there are any significant setbacks, then I think I can't promise such a thing... I've fallen for her, and no other girl I've met has made me feel like her... So, do you think it's worth it? If so, could you give me any tips on keeping the LDR alive for 1 year? If she really thinks I would never see her, she's very very wrong... Just, what are my options?
  9. Help! I want a blokes opinion on whether my ex wants me back...I feel like I cant cope and haven't a clue what he is thinking!!!!! Where do I begin. Supposed to be moving in with boyf after a long distance relationship for the last year and then he just says he needs space...cant cope. After all the foort I have made over last yera to travel to go and see him. I know he loves me but am not sure whether this is it or just a commitment issue that men have???
  10. I wanted to throw a recent experience of mine out there for discussion. Last spring I met a woman that seemed like a great match for me. We were initially attracted to each other, but we were long distance so we could only see each other every few weeks. Things seemed to go well for about a month. I then made a mistake in not showing enough passion for her (not that I didn't feel it, I just wanted to take it slowly). She concluded that I was uncomfortable with my sexuality and decided she couldn't "take the next step" in the relationship. I strongly feel she's made a lot of judgements about me on very little knowledge, but of course she's convinced that she is correct in her assessments. She wanted to remain friends and went so far as to tell me that "I can't say that you wouldn't be right for me at some point". I've never remained friends with anyone that broke up with me; I always felt that I'd be fooling myself and hoping that they'd come to their senses. I expressed that to her and I thought that was that. An hour later she calls back and said she was sad about the whole thing. I played hardball and told her she'd made a mistake with me. She said she was still planning on coming to my location (we'd had plans for the weekend and she was to visit other friends). I told her to have a good time, and she became frustrated and we ended the conversation. 24 hours later she calls again. We talk for about 10 minutes but I don't give her much in terms of conversation. I reiterate that she made a mistake. She defends her position but again says she can't be sure I'm wouldn't be the right guy at some time. Two days later she calls again on my birthday. The conversation starts off the same but quickly turns sour. I start feeling insulted at some of the things she is saying (she had also been out with girlfriends and had a couple of drinks). I got angry and expressed that fact that I didn't appreciate some of things she was saying. She giggled (due to the alcohol, maybe?) and it went downhill fast. It ended when I said "You can call back when you sober up" and slammed the phone down. A few days later a left a message apologizing for hanging up on her but defended my reasons for my anger. I meant to leave the door open for future conversation but may not have made that clear to her. There has been no reply (it has been four weeks), and I haven't initiated any contact either. Part of me would like to remain friends (which she clearly wanted to do); I do think she's worth keeping in my life in some way. On the other hand, I can't deny I want her to change her mind about me. I've come close to calling and saying "Look, I'd like to have things such that we could communicate if we'd like to", but haven't done so yet. For what it is worth, she is 34 years old and I'm a few years older. Thanks in advance for your advice.
  11. Hi, new to the boards. So heres the story, kinda long. Ok, about 8 months ago i went to a forum and started posting. I got a private message from someone on one of the topics i posted on. It was her. She and i kept private messaging each other about stuff we had in common. Then i was like "hey, do you have instant messanger" She said yea and we exchanged msn addresses. So we started talking on msn. We talked pretty much everyday for a week. About everything. I told her after i'm out of school that i was moving to washington to get a job and live there. It turns out she lives in washington. She had almost EVERYTHING in common with me. Anyways, she wanted to see what i looked like so i sent her my pic. She said i was super cute and hot and all that stuff. I was rather flattered. She said that she now had a crush on me. I was kinda stunned. I hadn't really expected to hear that. Well, thats about when i found out she was 13. Thats a very low age. I was 19 at the time and i was thinking that that is way too young. I decided i would continue to talk to her but just as a friend. A few weeks passed and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. I asked her why and she said its because she liked someone else. I was like who and she said me. Again i was like wow. No girl has ever said this to me before. She told me that my age didn't matter to her. And that she wanted to go have a long distance relationship. i couldn't say no and i didn't really want to say no. Well, she called me on my birthday and i was more happy than i have ever been. She got a cell phone and calls me everyday right before she goes to bed. She told me she loves me more than anything in the world and can't wait till i move to washington. Everytime i hear her voice i want to be with her in person. We've been together for about 7 months. I know she's young, she acts really mature. We exchange pics regularly to keep up with each others lives since we are apart. She told her mom that she was going out with me and i was moving to washington next year. Her mom was fine with it as long as i wasn't a 50 year old perverted man. She tells me everything that goes on in her life. She said that she wants to be with me forever. I feel the exact same. I'm a 20 year old virgin so its not like i'm just in it for sex. I think that can wait and she agrees. I don't want to get in trouble with the law or anything. I'm way more interested in being with her to talk and just have fun with. I believe that she is my soulmate and she agrees on that as well. I've just never connected with anyone so deeply in my life. She's always on my mind, and i'm always on hers. She's waited 7 months already and she says that her feelings have only gotten stronger. Does anyone have any opinions on this? i'm not doubting that it will work, i believe it will. Does anyone think that age matters?
  12. Hey all. This is my first post on this forum. I'm a 17 year old male from New York City. In 1999, I became internet friends with Becky, a girl one year older than me who lives in Michigan. She was like the female version of me. We had so many things in common that it was mind-boggling. Over three years, we developed feelings for each other and became a long-distance couple in January 2002. I visited Becky in May 2003 and it was the happiest time of my life. We both thought we would be together forever. We even planned to marry and have kids. We felt that strongly about each other. We were in love. In October 2003, Becky broke up with me because the distance got to her. Currently, she has a new steady boyfriend who lives in her town and they're both crazy about each other. They started dating in November. I miss Becky terribly. She barely talks to me anymore. There is a monstrous void in my heart where she should be. She was my bestest buddy in the whole world. Now it's like she never existed. She doesn't answer my e-mails, calls or letters. I've all but given up hope of reclaiming at least the close friendship we had before. That's really all I want. What should I do?
  13. Today my boyfriend of nearly 7 months broke up with me. We've known eachother for going on 3 years and were bestfriends before we ever committed to a relationship. Let me just explain how or why we broke up: I was on the internet checking my e-mail when I see him sign on and I was thinking yay, my baby is on...i can ask him to come over to get the photo I drew of him...but all of a sudden I send a hello and I'm told that I'm talking to his 15 year old girlfriend from Alabama. I was like So he wound up getting on later and I confronted him about it and asked if he was dating a girl from Alabama and if he was to let me go so I didn't have to endure the pain any longer He said he didn't know they were dating and it was hard having a long distance relationship with me...(we live about 20 miles from eachother) he said he liked her and didn't know that liking someone was considered cheating. I told him I never said that it was and that I just wanted to know if he was dating her. He said he didn't know he was..I had to leave to go to work and he e-mailed me saying that he didn't want to be with anyone at this point in his life and told me i could e-mail him back telling him to f*** off because he deserved it. I e-mailed him back but I told him that i'd never tell him to f*** off because I care for him and no matter what i'll always have a place in my heart for him. I just want to know if I did the right thing by keeping my cool instead of blowing up and telling him how much he hurt me and what an a** he was for doing that. Also is it ok to send the picture to him or will it make me look to desperate.
  14. I have been dating my man for about four months now and I am so attracted to him, but its a long distance relationship. He doesn't really put any effort which gets me frustrated but at the same time I really don't want our relationship to end. I just want him to treat me better. He came down to my town this past weekend and didn't even call me to tell me he was in town. I ended up seeing him out at a club. I was so mad but I didn't cause a scene. I just let him give me a drink and then I left the club because I really didn't want to see him. He made me so upset. I just didn't understand why he wouldn't call me and tell me he was in town. When I confronted him , he just said he thought I was out with my friends and figured he would just see me the next day, and I almost don't believe him. At the same time when we do get to spend time together everything is wonderful. I really don't know what to say to him because I know changing him is not the answer. Any ideas of how I can tell him its over unless he does something about it without sounding horrible?
  15. Me and my girlfriend have been in a LDR for over a year now and we have been very comfortable and happy together. We started out as friends, and then bf/gf (online only) and then we decided to become exclusive about 7 months ago. I'm leaving to see her in about a week or two (from Cali to Texas) and we are both ready to have sex. So here's my question, we are both virgins and we both really want to have sex, so is there anything I should know or any advice I could get? I really want to make her happy and we've already spent many hours discussing what we'd be ok doing which we've decided is "everything" except for threesomes or like knives and weird crap liek that. We've already planned to meet, and go to dinner and spend a few hours talking before we do anything sexual. SO yeah im just curious like what should I expect to happen, maybe some tips on how to make a more enjoyable experience. Any advice would be appreciated
  16. my name is spencer, i live in ohio with my moms side of the family and my dads side lives in michigan in the detroit area, well one summer i went up there and i ran away when it was time to come back to ohio.. when i ran i met this girl named christina, i asked her if i could hide in her house becuz the police were looking for me becuz i got into a fight and needed a place 2 stay for a few hours until the left the area, well i got her number and we ended up hooking up a few weeks later then we broke up and i got caught and locked up... then i ran back up to michigan in feb of 04 and i got caught in march. i did 10 months in juvenile prison and i've been out about 2 months now.. she cheated on me while i was locked up but i forgave her becuz i really love her, now me and her constantly argue about alot of stupid stuff and its alot for me to handle.. its a long distance relationship and i havent seen her in a long time and the fighting is making it hard for me, i have permission to leave state to see her but i dont have a car and im not allowed to take a bus, he parents wont allow her to even speak to me so she has to sneak and talk to me plus she dosent have a phone, it is so hard to deal with all this but i dont want to end out relationship becuz we have been through so much, yesterday i told her i couldent continue but i want to i just dont know what to say to her anymore.. everything i say is wrong and i just need some advise.. if u can help me, it would really make a differince _________________ Spencer
  17. I'm madly in love, I've tried everything to show her... My friend has done his best to show her how I can offer her what her boyfriend gives her and so much more... She's in like a "friends with benifits" relationship (long distance) with her boyfriend... When they are together all they do is fool around the dont really have much of a relationship... Yet they call it that... She knows exactly how I feel and I've stopped talking to her for a while just to help get her off my mind and find other things to do than think about her. So she e-mailed me and basically told me... "she doesn't want me to lose the feelings I have for her because she doesn't want to lose the chance at something she has wanted so many times… But right now she has a chance at something else (screwing with her boyfriend) so that means I have to get over her…" That sums up what she told me... I just dont understand how you can choose a full healthy relationship with a guy you're great friends with... against a relationship with someone you dont trust, can't always talk to, don't have full feelings for and the only real purpose you see him (once a month) is to screw around in bed with him!!! What is it that this girl doesn't see... I can see her more than once a month, my last girlfriend thought I was god in bed (she thought lol) and i've more than enough proven I know what a true relationship involves! She has a chance to grab something she has always wanted... but she is willing to throw it away for a guy she can fool around with once a month and more than likely will break up with him around grad because they then go their separate ways. I was doing fine getting her out of my mind until she told me this and now i'm full of anger and frustration... ARG, i'm just getting this off my mind... very frustrating...
  18. Hi everyone. I have a question that falls into MANY different categories here. I just picked one of them and decided to put it in this one. Here's (are) my question(s); I go to school on the internet. All the students at my school are in high school and all in Wisconsin. I started talking to a girl from school on AIM back in late October/early November. We have talked almost every day since then and we have become very close. In late January, she told me that she was fairly certain she liked me. We decided on February 8th that we wanted to be Valentines. We decided Valentines day night that we wanted to be "official" together. So, we've been a couple since then. I just turned 16 on Monday, and Jessi (my girlfriend) will be 18 on May 10th. Now, on that note, the first question I have is, do you think this is acceptable? Just over a year's difference between us? Now on to the next subject. She lives about 150 miles south of me. How do people make long distance relationships work until they can become short-distance relationships? We both want it to work for as long as it takes for us to get closer to each other in person. Third.... She is thinking of coming up to my area after her 18th birthday so her mom can't tell her she can't come *her mom isn't happy about her being with me for some reason Neither of us has very much money, so what would you suggest as a good date? We are both very fond of nature and such, so we know we want to go for a nice long walk along the river or something, but what else could we do for not a lot of money? Lastly, we both know that when she comes here, we want so badly for it to be the day we have our first kiss. Only problem is, we're both scared of when to make the "first move". We know that when the moment's right, it'll just happen, but how do we know when the moment's there? The other part to this question is, how should I kiss? I'm scared to death that I'm gonna mess up and she'll kick me and run away screaming I don't want to be too "strong" on her, but I also don't want it to be just a little peck on the cheek so she thinks I'm wimping out. What should I do? Thanks for your help, if you can give me any. Any at all is appreciated. I'm brand new to the world of dating, and I'm so glad that the girl I found was my first. She's absolutely perfect in my eyes, and she feels the same way about me. All my school years, I've been ridiculed for how I look. I'm too fat... I'm too smelly.... My clothes never match... Well, for once in my life, I've found someone who looks PAST that and sees who I am! It's so awesome! *And yes, she knows what I look like... I've given her a few pics of me* --Ben
  19. I'd like to hear some thoughts on this idea. How long is too long to wait for a real commitment in a relationship? Yesterday I had to say one of the most painful goodbyes to my long-distance boyfriend... I may not see him until September and seeing him off was absolutely horrible. We've been together for two and a half years, which have been mostly long distance. Until last August we were only 3 hours apart, now we are a 13-hour plane ride apart. Anyway, I digress. This painful goodbye got me thinking... how long is too long to wait for engagement or marriage? Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking about breaking up with him or pushing the marriage issue. We're both still young and he's still in college so it's not an issue yet. But his sister just got married a few months ago. I've heard of couples being together for 10 years with no engagement plans or anything. I've also heard of people being engaged for 8 years... That's fine if that's what the couple wants, but it's not what I want, and I suspect that many others feel the same way. I'm not looking for answers to my situation here, I'd just like to hear your thoughts on this subject. So what do you think? How long would you wait for a long-term commitment such as engagement or marriage? Thanks for your thoughts!
  20. Okay I'm just gonna kind of ramble here, so I apologize if this turns into something really long! Over the holidays I got engaged. Some of you know my situation: Long distance relationship and all that. It's been really amazing and we are EXTREMELY excited! But I don't know... for some reason in my mind I thought that this was going to be easy. There's so much! I've been engaged for two weeks, and already we've started planning, even though the wedding isn't for... what? 18 and a half months? We already have so much done! It's crazy! I'm not stressed about the wedding, really. I think my stress lies in the fact that I'm using it as an escape. Focusing on the planning is what is keeping my mind busy. It's keeping me from thinking about the fact that, once again, we're separated by thousands of miles. I haven't dealt with it like I should. He cried twice the day he left! And he isn't an overly emotional guy! I haven't cried at all. While I'm not STRESSED about the actual planning, there's also a lot to be done, and so much of it has to get put on the back burner until I get a new job so I have money! We have a lot of details nailed down, but there's a lot of work still to be done. Which is fine because we have so much time, I know. I guess I'm kind of freaked out that, even though we have 18 months, we have so much to do that we need to start doing things NOW. That, in itself, is overwhelming. The good thing is that we went in a totally different direction with the ceremony than I thought we would. All my life I've envisioned the classic wedding: big hall, huge dress, and everyone in the world that we know attending. And of course it would cost an arm and a leg. That would have taken a lot of planning and there would have been a ton of tiny details to figure out. But now we're going with a very small ceremony- a themed wedding, actually. And the venue is sort of all-inclusive, in a way. And while I know that should take a load off as far as details go, in a way it makes it more difficult. I've spent my whole life deciding how I would handle those little details, and now they aren't there. Having that "unknown" adds stress more than it relieves it. I won't have the familiar around. The wedding is in his city, 2,800 miles from where I live. It's at an annual Renaissance Festival that he has attended many times but I have never been to. We are making the outfits for almost the entire wedding party, including my fiance and his three attendants, all of whom live there in Pittsburgh, making it hard to get a proper fit for their clothes..... I love this idea for our wedding, don't get me wrong! It's very unique and it will be incredibly memorable. I just have no clue how to handle a wedding! LOL! I truly believe that all of this just comes with the territory of being a bride-to-be. I just have no idea how to handle it all in stride. I guess I just need encouragement... Advice... ANYTHING anyone can offer to help me survive! ..... okay... I'm done venting now.
  21. I am still on the process of convincing my self to go for an LDR. I really have so many fears.. One is not standing the feeling of longing.. I terribly miss him.. What I just did is remind my self that I still don't have a right to feel so since we're not committed yet. But just recently i've tried to be honest with my self and told him that i really feel bad whenever it took him long to contact me.. the result? he got worried.. i feel guilty then.. should i rather not tell him?
  22. When my (now) fiance and I first got together, his family was very against it. There are 8 years between us, and the relationship is long distance. For the first several months, when he and I would talk on the phone, I could hear his mom in the background saying terrible things about me. They would argue often while he and I were trying to talk. I spent three weeks with him last summer. One day he and I went driving in the country side. We got lost, and the only person he could think to call for directions was his grandma. She freaked out when she found out he was with me, warning him about how I was a runaway looking for a free ride. Obviously, she was making it up as she went. We blew it off, and later that day when we got back to his house, a message was waiting on his mom's answering machine from grandma. A week later I finally met the rest of his family (I'd only met his mom and his brother until then). When I met them, they were all very nice. Even his grandma. She hugged me, and the first thing she asked was whether or not my parents knew where I was. Which was ludicrous anyway, seeing as I was 19 and legally an adult, so it didn't matter if my parents knew, even though they DID know and we'd told her that all along. But once again, I reassured her. And from that point on she spent the day socializing with me, praising my good nature and saying all kinds of nice things about me. She even made a point of telling me to never hesitate to visit her before we left the party. Now it's almost a year later and we're engaged. We were nervous about his family's reaction, but his mom was very supportive from the start. So we thought things would be fine. Then he tells me that he's worried about talking to his grandma about it. Apparently she's been back to accusing me of being a leeching runaway again recently. That upset me quite a bit... I felt like all the things she said to me at that party were a lie. Now I don't know who to trust. His mom hasn't criticized me lately, but she's been getting into it with Aaron over our wedding plans. The rest of his family has been great from the start and I really love them. But his mom and grandma have been a huge influence in his life. They are the people that we REALLY want on board with this. And because of the fact that we're choosing to live out there near his family, far, FAR away from the love and support that I've always known in my family... I'm very worried about being thrown into the middle of this brand new city without anyone familiar. I'm afraid that his family will turn on me, and that will add a lot of stress to our brand new marriage. I don't know what to feel or think. I keep hoping he'll change his mind and agree to live here instead. But I don't think that will happen. I'm just really scared to be stuck out there surrounded by people that I will always be afraid hate me.
  23. I am 19 and I met my boyfriend about 8 months ago while he was in the Navy and stationed close by to my home in New Jersey. He is originally from Texas and from the moment i set eyes on him i knew he was something special. As the months passed we instantly releazed how perfect we were for eachother and event moment we shared was a dream come true. Aside from a few small disagreements our relationship was perfect. In November he was released from the military and lived with me (along with my mom and little sister) for about a month. At that time we both agreed it would be best for him to go home to see his family and get a job so we could save money to live together. This was all too easily said than done. It's been six weeks since he's been gone and the plans we once made have changed. Instead of him returning to New Jersey we decided it would be cheaper to live in Texas due to the fact that it nearly twice as expensive to live here along the lines of residence, food, insurance, and all the other factors that go along with the costs of living expenses. It was a very hard decison for me to make considering my age, i attend a community college, and i am leaving behind my mother who i love more than anything in the world. At the same time he is equally important and i will do anything to be with him. I have weighed the pros and cons and come to the conclusion that my age is on my side for a number of reasons. I don't have to change major jobs, sell a house or make any other serious changes. I can continue to go to school there and if things go wrong i can always return home and start over. The things i worry about are that i dont have a job at the moment but am starting one soon and neither one of us really have money now. I don't have a clue what its like in Texas, i won't have friends there, it will take some time for me to find a job and what if we just can't support ourselves? I dont worry about our relationship because i am confident in our love. Aside from all that...the biggest problem will be telling my mother about all this. I knwo she is not going to take this well because my whole life she has had expectations of me which i have failed to follow. She knows my feelings for him but she expects me to just move on...go to college.. and meet a guy(in her words)"that is at my level of educational , and shares the same interests". I agree with her reasoning but at the same time, my heart tells me that he is the one i want to be with forever. He does not have many personal flaws and our relationship couldn't better and since i've met him i've never felt so happy about life. I know that our determination will bring us to where we want to be but i am afraid of the unexpected and expected(my mother)obstacles might bring us down. All my friends tell me to go for it because they see the potential we have but we are sooooo far from reaching our goals and we're pretty much starting with nothing but dream and our love. It will be months before we can even think about having enough monefor a place but its definitely possible. i know i am young but i also know what i want and i can't live the rest of my live with regrets or wondering what could have , would have, or should have happened. i can keep going on about this but i see its getting a little lengthy...so my question is...first how can i tell my mom,and make her underdtstand? And also does any of this sound ridiculous? Are these dreams too far fetched? Any insight and opinions are greatly appreciated and thanks for reading my story!
  24. This is just an update to my previous post in Long distance relationship forum with a subject: My bf doesn't care anymore. I tried the NC rule but it didn't worked for me, so, I just tried to communicate with him for I want to know the status of our relationship. Still, he did not make any effort to reply to my text messages and he keeps on rejecting my calls. For me to know what have happened to us and where I should stand in this relationship, I decided to wrote him a letter. In my letter, I told him everything that I feel , all the rejections that I've been receiving and how I still want to make things work for both of us. I even apologized to him for falling short of his expectations and then I told him that he's free. I set him free not because I don't love him anymore but because I know he's not happy with me anymore. Although, I'm still in love with him the relationship that we used to have will no longer work knowing that he doesn't feel the same way anymore. I'm sure he got my letter and still he didn't do anything. Then, after 2 days, a common friend of ours got a chance to talk to him and guess what? He told her that he has a new girlfriend and when he was asked if we have already talked about "us", his reply was " I don't want to waste my time talking to her or explaining to her". Whew! I never expected him doing this to me. Everything happened so fast! How can a love that is so sweet vanished in just 3 weeks (the problem with our communication started just 3 weeks ago when he transferred to his new work)? I know that I should start moving on but I don't know where and how to start. ..I still feel I deserve his explanation. I want to know what went wrong… Should I start moving on or should I still wait for his explanation? Please give me your views and opinion about this matter, I know I'll get something from it. Thank you in advance.
  25. I have been dating my girlfriend since about Late March. We have a semi-long distance relationship as we live about an hour and a half apart. We have a routine where we are seeing each other every other weekend (we trade off as to who goes to whose house that weekend. We talk on the phone almost every night, occasionally every other night. When we are together on a weekend, we are very close. She seems to really love cuddling on the couch and doing things together. I do also. We have a lot in common and we always seem to leave each other having done things that were very fun and we always seem have really good times together. There are a few things that are on my mind lately. First is that she just flat out independent for some things. She will start a few projects and not finish them (sometimes because they are difficult ones out of her experience). However, I have had experience in these things and I offer to help and she just won't let me help. I don't know how to read that. Also, She is not very forthcoming with comments of endearment ("I'm glad you are here"..."I love spending time with you") unless I initiate them. Also, we were starting to see each other almost every weekend, but that seemed to overwhelm her. Now, she has told me that she gets very tired when she gets home and that she doesn't want to mess with normal weekly house cleaning and life maintenance kind of things. thereforeeee she needs a weekend in order to get some of those things done. Once we went back to seeing each other once every other week, she seemed a little less stressed. She always is embarrased when I come to her place and she hasn't cleaned (I don't care about that). I tend to get projects done and take on a lot of them where she has a hard time with self motivation. I guess the combination of some of those things makes me a little insecure as to if she is truly interrested in the relationship at times (she doesn't show emotion very well). However, when we are together, it is fantastic. There has yet to be anything less than awesome between us when we share a weekend. She was very depressed on her birthday recently and I was at her place and made her very happy with support and just being there for her. I think I am suffering from a typical LDR problem in that my mind is going off in all directions and probably making up issues that aren't there (as I am sure she probably is as well). Anyone have any advice for these kind of feelings? She is not happy lately at her job and keeps bringing up the possibility of the company going bankrupt. We have not gotten too far into what will happen eventually (her moving here or me moving there). She has a well paying job as I do but I have made it clear I would be willing to talk and move half way for now (possibly move there). She is not happy with where she works but she does make good money and has a house and some friends there. I get the feeling that if she had the impetus of the company going bankrupt or something that she would seriously consider moving away. She talks once in a while about how she could make pretty decent profit on her house if she were to sell now. Little things like that come up from time to time and I don't know how much to read into it. The problem is that I feel a little awkward about asking anything straight out as it seems like it would pressure her and possibly push her away. I don't know. Any advice?
  • Create New...