Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'long distance'.
ok so I matched with a guy on hinge the week of Christmas. we actually live in 2 different countries but the distance is relatively close (45 min plane ride) so we decided we'd get to know each other a bit and see if that leads to us making plans to see each other. Things were going along casually, we'd text pretty regularly. I work a regular 8-4 job while he works a night shift of 7pm-7am so our schedules didn’t really align for much time to talk except in between him getting off from work or getting ready to go to work and then on the days he would not be scheduled to work. I'm pretty realistic in my approach with online dating so I usually assume a guy's talking to me and a few other girls and going on dates etc., so I don’t have crazy expectation early on. I do like people to keep their word though and I had been in a few past situationships and relationships where guys said one thing and did another so I will admit my patience has become a bit shorter over time. Anyway to the point of my "story" and main question. This guy and I had been texting and occasionally facetiming for about 2 weeks and he was pretty good about communicating considering our distance. His usual day off is Mondays and because there was another holiday coming up in my country I would’ve been off on this particular Monday as well. So, the Saturday prior I asked him to make plans to facetime with me on Monday so we would have more time to talk instead of just in between him getting ready for work. He said sure. Monday comes around and unlike all the other days when he usually is texting a lot I don’t hear from him at all. He would typically text good morning anywhere between 20 minutes to 2 hours after he gets off work and have some conversation before he went about his day, but that day I didn’t hear from him until after 9pm (i go to bed around 9:30 usually to get up early to start my day). He says "hey sorry I didn’t hit you up all day, after work I went to the gym and then I’ve been asleep all day. Now I’m about to go watch the college championship game with my friends". Now I wasn’t upset that I hadn’t heard from him all day because he’s an adult he can do what he wants, but I was kinda upset about the way he seemed to be saying that he was unavailable or didnt want to talk without being upfront. He didn’t make any mention of the previous plans to facetime and didn’t even ask when I would be free to talk at another time. So out of frustration I guess and also from the fear of not wanting to set myself up for disappointment I told him "if you wanted to talk to me you would've the same way you made plans with your friends and you're showing up for that. you can delete my number". He asked if I was serious and after my last response letting him know that I felt like he wasn’t interested and we didn’t need to waste each other's time he didn’t have anything to say. Did I overreact? I will say I’m a sensitive person and though I try to keep a level head its difficult sometimes especially because in the past guys would fall through on plans with me and I used to just let it slide until things boiled up and hit the fan. I also feel like since we are in two different countries and the only way to communicate is via text or calling then that should be taken with a bit more seriousness than if we lived in the same place. it's not like he was my boyfriend. in neutral perspective we are just two strangers from the internet talking on the phone. But now that it's been about a week I do feel a little regret about my behavior. What do you think? Did I overreact? Would it be worth it to even reach out to him? (although I bet he’s already blocked my number and has already forgotten about me haha) I hate being an empath, I process everything so slowly and take all these small things to heart too much. Anyway thanks for reading this far
Hello! I'm new here and I made this account just for this! I want someone's insight on this situation I'm in right now if it isn't too much of a bother. 🙂 ⚠️Wall of text coming through ⚠️ Around the end of October, my LDR boyfriend told me that he might be busy during November since he got a job, his friends want to hangout and I know he'd be studying for his upcoming university entrance exams this December. He told me this means that he'd have less time for me and I said I understand that, but he should at least keep me updated if he's still doing well. Well, yeah, before November even came, he started talking to me less, way less than how we usually would talk. It was fine with me though, I figured it was nice that he still manages to respond despite his hectic schedule. The issue started when he'd stop responding altogether. I'd see him online and his Discord status would state that he's playing a game for hours. I thought that maybe he's just taking a break to shake away the stress for a bit and didn't want to socialize with anyone. He's an antisocial guy. I waited for days, still no response. I decided to ask him if he's doing alright and assured him that I am not pressuring him to respond if he's still busy and that he can respond whenever he can. Almost immediately, he responded and said he didn't respond to my message because he has nothing to say. We voice called. Throughout the duration of that voice call, he barely said anything. Sometimes no response at all as if he didn't hear me say a thing even if I were to ask him a question, but he'd randomly laugh and tell me he's laughing over a funny video. I decided to shift the topic to whatever it is he's watching, but he'd tell me it's nothing interesting and we should talk about something else, so I'd find a new topic to mention and again, little to no response. I thought it was nice that he's having fun though, I wasn't upset about it and still am not. What I am upset about is the weeks following this event. After that call, we had another one, but in this call, it was silent. I'd talk and he won't respond at all, not even laugh over a video, nothing. It felt like I was talking to a brick wall so I got upset and asked him if he can hear me, he said he wasn't saying anything because he has nothing to say. He did kind of make up for it by being sweet before the voice call ended, he said "I love you" then we both went to sleep. And that was the last he ever said that. After that last voice call, he almost never responds to my messages anymore. I also noticed that every time I'd go online, he goes offline. Thought it was a coincidence until it kept happening every time for almost a week (I still think might be a coincidence, but my gut says otherwise so I'm confused on what to believe). I confronted him about it, asked him if we're doing okay and if something is wrong between the two of us, he said everything is fine and I left it at that. And then for almost a week, he didn't respond to my messages at all or went online. I got really worried so I discreetly checked up on him by telling him about my day in hopes he'd tell me about his. He hates it when people show him they care, he's not used to it, so I thought that checking up on him discreetly would be the better option. He responded almost immediately and we had a short conversation. After that, he stopped responding again and I just decided to give him time, he did say that he'd be busy that month. We didn't talk for days until I striked up a conversation with him and we talked normally like how we used to before he got busy. We didn't talk for days again after that since he won't reply or go online, apparently he was asleep. I messaged him during out monthsary and he just replied to tell me he's going to sleep. I told him I feel like he's avoiding me and stated pretty much everything I'm saying in this forum right now. He told me that he's not avoiding me and that he's just busy and got nothing to say. I was also upset about him ignoring my monthsary message and about how he won't talk to me so I told him I'm sad about it, he kind of got irritated that I was keeping him up from sleeping when confronted about it, so I apologised since I figured he might be tired from a busy day. I tried to talk to him again during his birthday because I made a present for him and wanted to greet him, but he never responded. He never returns the I love you I tell him or the goodnight messages or the good morning messages anymore. He told me he wants me to tell him good morning after I wake up and goodnight before I sleep, so I stayed consistent even when he doesn't respond. I want to ask him if he's still happy being in a relationship with me, but I want to ask through a voice call at least so I kept asking him when he'd be free, his responses are very vague. Just a couple days ago, I saw him online and messaged him if we can talk since it's important. He said he's going to sleep and immediately went offline. I messaged him goodnight with an "I love you" to see if he'd return it. None, he went online and read my message, but then immediately went back off. I suppose that it wouldn't really be fruitful if I were to ask what I should do with out relationship. Whether I should break up with him or not. I just want someone else's insight regarding this pickle I am in, that's all. I suppose I want a different perspective regarding this, I could be wrong and he could really just be busy while I'm over here overthinking after all. Thank you for your time! 🙂 I unfortunately can't really give a tl;dr since I don't know I can possibly summarize this mess lol, sorry.
Hey :) So, because I (18F) am a very shy person (I've never been diagnosed with social anxiety, but I relate to a lot of the symptoms), I have always been scared to date - scared to put myself out there and actually TALK to the people I like (scary thing). But some time ago, I have visited a city which is like 6 hours away from my home with my sister and we met a friend of hers there. And well, we spent some time together. Even though it was mostly my sister who talked to him, I developed a crush on him. (I don't think he really felt the same, although he spent one hour editing a picture which only I was on - he's into photography) My sister and I have been home for some time now and I decided that I want to try and act on that crush - which I have never done before. But now I feel kind of powerless and miserable since he lives so far away. He and my sister know each other from playing games together, so she suggested I join them when he's there. But she also said that it'll probably take some time until she can arrange something. Now here comes my big problem where I hope u guys can give me some advice: How do I get in contact with him without being too obvious? My sister gave me his number, but texting him would be obvious, wouldn't it? I know he does live streams (sadly not that often), so would it be weird to interact with him via life chat? Or do I text him via discord which he uses sometimes? Is it a dealbreaker to make your interest too obvious? I'm so clueless honestly, and so scared of butchering it. Help :c I know this crush will go away as time passes but I've never felt so close to actually acting on my crush and getting out of my comfort zone. Thank you so so much in advance for your advice!
First of all i think I'll have to give a warning because this might be a heavy subject for someone. Hello everyone! Me and my bf are dating for one year (long distance) , everything was fine until yesterday. He came to my hometown to see me and everytime we see each other we have sexual intercourse. Yesterday I wasn't really feeling it, he gave me the signal that he wants to do something and I said "I'm not im the mood today" he said "okay" and after 5-10 minutes he started touching me even when i clearly stated that i didn't want to do anything sexual with him. He was grabbing me inappropriately and I just froze and didn't say anything at that very moment (that was my fault). He didn't go any further than that but it still felt wrong. After he went back home he started texting me and "joking" about how I didn't give him what he wanted, even if it really was a joke I was offended (he's that kind of guy that almost jokes about everything) I confronted him about it and told him that what he did was wrong. He told me that he didn't know that I felt that way and said that he was very sorry that he hurt me in that way, and that he'll never do that ever again. One part of me wants to forgive him because I still love him but the other part is still confused about the situation that happened. I really don't know how to feel right now, if anyone has advice i would be very happy to hear about it.