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Found 7 results

  1. So my husband is doing his Masters abroad and I recently found out from LinkedIn that one of his old classmates (from Bachelors) who we personally know is also currently doing her Masters in the same university as him. And she is doing the same major at the same time with my husband but he never mentioned that to me. He always talks about his classmates but do you think it's strange that he never mentioned that this girl who we know personally from home is also taking the same courses abroad with him? Am I overthinking this or is it actually fishy?
  2. My boyfriend and I had an argument over something he did that really hurt me. He was at the gym when I called him about it, I didn't know he was at the gym till he picked up. But I went off on the phone, and then cut it because I was really upset. It's been 2 days, and he hasn't reached out at all. I would've reached out if I had been the one to upset or hurt him, but that wasn't the case. I don't want my ego to get in the way, but I also feel I'm always the one chasing him. This is the first time we have gone this long without talking in a long time. I don't want to make things between me and him worse, I was going to wait till he reaches out to me.. but now I'm not sure if I should just reach out myself. I was going to say something like this- "Hey, you okay? I'm not sure why you haven't spoken to me in two days, this has been hurtful. But know, I love you. " Or should I just wait for him to reach out. My anxiety is acting up over this situation. ūüė£
  3. Thanks for taking time to read/respond (if you do) I am a Male (28) my partner is Female (28) (We will name her Sarah to remain anonymous) We have been together 8 years The issues first started back in 2015 when we wasn't living together, (Sarah was living with her parents, i was living with mine) I found a Credit Card letter under her bed which shown she owed £500, this wasn't that big of a deal at the time, she was well into her overdraft so I payed it off for her at the time (she then payed me back over a few months time) she apologised and said she would never do it again. In 2017 we agreed we wanted to eventually get a house together so we both decided to start saving. I opened a Help to Buy ISA and maxed it out the most I could, randomly one weekend Sarah came to me and said "I have also opened an ISA but am not putting as much in as you but are starting to save" the goal was to move in together within 1-2 Years At the end of 2017, Sarah's mum contacts me and asks me to come over to her house. When I got there Sarah and her mum were sat there at the table with Sarah in tears. Sarahs mother explained that Sarah has £3000 debt to catalogues and loans which she had used to fund gambling. I then found out that the ISA never existed and she made it up. On this occasion my partners mother and step Dad bailed her out and payed her debt off by borrowing a loan themselves which Sarah then agreed to pay back over a year. At the time i was devastated, I never really recovered personally if im honest as the trust in the relationship was shattered. Over time it started to build & things were forgotten Around mid 2018 Sarah was getting itchy feet and wanted to move in together so we found a house and I got the house solely in my name as Sarah had no deposit and a terrible credit rating. (Keep this in mind as this raises so many issues later on in the relationship) When we got the house I told Sarah to save up over a 5 year period and when we come to re-mortgage we will add her on onto it as she could give me half of the original deposit. I payed for all the work on the house and going forward Sarah would pay half for the bills/food but NOT the mortgage Skip forward to end 2020 Sarah wakes me early in the morning saying she has done something terrible, her phone has been cut off and she is in another £3000 debt to gambling websites. At the time I had no money to bail her out as I had up until that point spent all my money on the house (renovating etc..) our only option at this point was her real Dad (who she is most closest with) I called him and explained the situation, he gave her the money but said if this ever happens again he would never speak to her. Sarah then said she would never do it again as she didn't want her Dad to disown her. Once again I struggled to get over the deception but as I had nobody to speak to personally I bottled it up and moved on. We spoke about what was causing the gambling and at the time Sarah said it was because of a crash she had at the time which led to this spirally out of control gambling and a way of dealing with it. At the time I offered to help her with her finances by taking control (checking her bank) and keeping ontop to ensure she didn't slip again. Around 6-10 months later i had stopped checking and Sarah had changed her banking password so I couldn't see. I confronted at the time but Sarah said she hadn't changed it (but now she has come clean she actually did) Sarah also had a block on her bank so she couldn't use her bank to make payments to gambling sites Extra note - I told Sarah if she wanted to show her Dad she was sorry she needed to pay him back, you guessed it to this day she never has. I told you about the crash pervious, well she had/has a claim still on going, Sarah wanted me to chase the claim as her pursuing it brought back bad memories of her crash so she left me to her emails and chasing the case. Skip forward to now. A few weeks ago I was chasing the claim up and checked her deleted box to see if she had deleted anything as we had not heard anything since March. I noticed multiple £50 - £100 payments to a 3rd party money site which was paying Casino sites (So as the bank blocked payments directed to gambling sites, Sarah was paying a money transfer site to pay the gambling sites as a way of getting round the block) I added up all the deleted emails as far back as they went and it added up to around £1500. I then slept on this information for a few weeks deciding how to approach the situation. I dropped multiple hints to Sarah in the hope she would come clean and wouldn't have to confess I knew of her secret. Sarah never came clean so I had to confront her. When I confronted her in I found out the debt was £11000 this time which had been racked up over a 4 month period. I am honestly devastated, Ive never felt so low in my life, Sarah had watched me pay for work on her car and pay for so much stuff over the past few months without once thinking of coming clean, this is were we are at now - I have told her I no longer want a relationship at this time. I wanted her to move out and live away while she got help and I could recover personally but Sarah said unless there is a guarantee we will try again she doesn't want to move away on a temporary basis - I have offered to get a loan to bail her out and she pays me back over 2 years - Sarah is now saying her triggers for gambling are loneliness (when I go to the gym at nights after work) this is when she use to do it. - Sarah is saying that its my fault as she feels lonely and I don't spend enough time with her - Sarah said she deserves another chance as she is actually making changes to stop gambling, going to gambling rehab classes, speaking with Gamstop etc.. Do I give her another chance as she is now seeking help or will she do this again (i currently have no respect for her or trust in our relationship), Is this fixable or am I wasting years of my life ?
  4. My boyfriend of almost two years watches cheating porn alot. Whether its women cheating on their husbands, or seducing the viewer to cheat. Ive expressed to him how this makes me feel and hes told me multiple times he wont watch it anymore but I just found more on his phone. This makes me nervous that hes going to cheat and makes me feel gross like I'm not good enough. What do I do???? (Im sorry if this is the wrong forum to go to i just need help)
  5. I am freaking out. I (M29) just got back from a trip to California with my finace (F32) and I made a horrible mistake. Quick background: We've been dating for several years and have never had any infidelity issues between the two of us. Last year, we got engaged. I love her so much and still want to spend the rest of my life with her, but we started to have some bedroom issues. She began gaining weight and doesn't see herself as sexy right now which began to affect our intimacy. We went from having sex a few times a week, to maybe once or twice a month. I would try to console her and make her feel sexy in any way that I could (date nights, gifts, words of affirmation), but nothing seemed to work. I am very active with sports and working out (not a bodybuilder by any means, but athletic) and I find my libido might be naturally higher. Needless to say, this has caused some bumps in our communication as of late. In any event, we went to California seeking a romantic couples getaway, but our bedroom problems persisted. The last night of the trip (Saturday 3/19), I became frustrated and decided to go on a walk after she went to bed. I began striking up a conversation with a woman I met on the street and we decided to get a drink at the bar down the block. I had already had a few drinks and she was cute so I started talking with her. I figured I would at least gain some comfort speaking with someone else to get my mind off my fiance. This is where things go south. We had a few drinks and she suggested we walk on the beach. I agree. She suggests we go skinny dipping and I agree, still feeling the high of talking with someone else and flirting a little bit. We end up kissing. One things leads to another and she ends up giving me oral sex. At the end of the act, she stands up and I see a something hanging down there. Not only was I shocked, but also confused, angry, curious, and wildly drunk. I wanted to reciprocate the generosity and love someone for who they were so I began stimulating them as well. Shortly after I started, I stopped without finishing the job. I was horrified with myself. Not only did I cheat on my fiance, but with a transvestite. The crazy thing is that I'm 100% straight. I know that may sound strange given what occurred, but it's true. I have no desire to be with a man, but I think curiosity simply got the better of me. In my moment of weakness, I wanted to feel love and provide it as well. I walked back to my hotel room where my fiance was sleeping. She woke up. She asked where I was and lied by telling her I went for a casual walk to another bar. After some back and forth, we went to sleep. The last few days have been a living nightmare for me. Not only am I not eating, but I feel violated, dirty, and horrible that I have lied to her and myself. I'm throwing up in secret because of the stress. I don't recognize myself in the mirror, and have intense anxiety when I am around her (we live together). I have no idea what to do, or who to turn to. I can't confine in any of my close friends for fear of the social repercussions of my bi-curious actions. Part of me wants to come clean and tell her the truth from start to finish, but I am terrified of what she will do and who she will tell. She has said before that if I ever cheated, to be up front and tell her right away. She has been cheated on intensely before in past relationships, but has openly said it's better to tell her immediately if I cheat. In the same breath, she condones any sort of bi-curious interaction and said she would have to rethink our relationship if she ever found me doing something like that. To add fuel to the fire, I just received an STD test today to ensure I haven't made matters worse. My results will be in on Friday. Please please help me. I love with woman with all my heart and don't want to lose her. I am also guilt stricken and terrified of the fallout from being bi-curious. I have two issues. The cheating, and the bi-curious nature of the cheating. My options that I have come up with are: 1. Tell her nothing and live with the lie regardless of the personal stress to my body and mental health. She won't ever find out unless I tell her and our relationship will continue on. 2. Tell her part of the story, but not all of it. I cheated, but maybe it was with a girl instead of a transvestite. This is a half truth and I feel I won't truly feel satisfied with my confession, but it may save my relationship. 3. Tell her everything. I'll feel better about telling the truth, but the fallout could be immense. It's possible that we can work through this, but I think it's almost worse for me to confess and then say "you can't tell anyone about the bi-curious stuff or i'll be ruined". That doesn't seem fair to me. I'm feeling extremely scared and alone. Please help.
  6. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months now and everything's been more than perfect. He treats me super well, gives me all the needed love and affection. However, recently I found his tumblr account. Turns out he often reblogs and likes explicit content, and nudes of other girls. Of course this made me super uncomfortable. I'd say our sex life is pretty good, we have sex a lot and I often send him nudes myself, so it's not like I don't satisfy him. I decided instead of confronting him about it, to test if he'd lie to me. So I waited for a good moment and started a convo about how I find it super disrespectful when a guy likes other girl's "sexy" photos online. I asked him if he does that and he said no. (I expected him to deny ofc and wasn't surpised). This sparked a long conversation tho and he started saying things like how there's always a line where the girl shouldn't cross to try and control her bf and brought up his ex and how she was controlling and would be mad at him for just saying hi to other girls or complimenting their outfits for example. Of course I agreed with him and said that's absurd and I wouldn't do that, but repeated that it's still disrespectful to like other girls' nudes online if you're in a relationship cus "you got food at home". He agreed and again said he doesn't do it and wouldn't do it to me. At this point I didn't want to be the crazy *** who stalked him so I didn't tell him that I know he does it. I decided to give him a chance and see if he will continue doing it. I thought maybe if I was in the same situation I'd deny it too to avoid conflict and not risk losing my partner over it and then I'd just stop doing it once I know my partner finds it disrespectful. However, I checked his tumblr again days later and turns out he still does it. I'm willing to forgive the lie about it at first, cus I thought maybe he'd feel guilty about it and stop doing it, but now I don't know how to feel. He completely disregarded my feelings about it because he thinks I'm never gonna find out. I know some people would say it's just like watching porn and that men are horny and that it means nothing, etc. but it makes me uncomfortable and even if I get over my insecurities about it, I don't know what to do about the trust issues I now have because I now know that he is capable of lying straight to my face with no remorse. What should I do? Do I confess that I know he lied or just try and forget about it and not check his tumblr anymore to keep myself sane???
  7. If you look through my activity history, you may find I've struggled with overattachment, low confidence/self worth and overall unhealthy relationship habits. Since then (four years ago) I have taken an interest in psychology and self improvement. I'm still young (24f), but through therapy and further education, I've come a long way. Now, for the content you came for: Four years ago, I met Brad (name changed for privacy). It was an instant connection. I was able to communicate with him effortlessly. He brought me peace, comfort and security when I was with him - not to mention the chemistry between us. The 11 year age gap scared him though. He was an up and coming business owner, afraid that our small town would paint the relationship in a bad light and affect his years of hard work. Although hurt, I respected his wishes, and did my best to move on. Since then, I have refused to enter a relationship with someone who didn't make me feel the way he did. (Spoiler alert: no one has.) So, over the last few years I've focused on myself and improving myself, both as an individual and as a mother. I feel very confident in who I am now, makes a world of a difference in choosing who is worth my time and who isn't. So, imagine my surprise when Brad messages me asking if we could meet and catch up, he wanted to apologize for how he handled things years ago and express how he's been kicking himself since. Being who I am, I was skeptical. Part of me wanted the opportunity to put an end to the fantasy of him I had built in my head years ago, and part of me knew that when I saw him I'd be in trouble. So, when we met, I stood my ground. Even though I was just as drawn to him in that moment as I was four years ago. He makes me feel... respected, heard, understood and desired. Over these past few years, I've come to realize how rare those feelings are. The connection we have feels powerful and unreasonable. Unbreakable, however na√Įve and ridiculous that sounds, even to me. But here's the kicker - he's in a relationship now, with two young children. It's been a month, I can't get him out of my head. And I know he struggles with the same. I respect his relationship, but my feelings seem to have a mind of their own. Essentially, I've come to be involved in an emotional affair, playing the role of the "mistress". We steal moments together, just to be near one another feels good. I don't morally feel good about it, I know his girlfriend is a good person who does NOT deserve to be cheated on. No one deserves that. He fears that if he leaves her, he'll lose time with his children. He loves them more than anything else, and I get that, of course. I'm not a monster, but I am in a conundrum. I suppose I don't necessarily need advice. I know what I SHOULD do. I know I should leave and make him figure it out himself, but that seems impossible now. Just wanted to get this mess off my chest. Thanks for listening.
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