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  1. So I went to the hospital at 2:30 AM. They gave me a 30mg shot of Toradol. That only reduced it a bit. They sent me home. I took 2 Tylenol 1 and got in bed at 5:45. I woke up before 7:30 screaming in pain. My husband took me back to the hospital. This time it was another dr. He said he is sure I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and gave me another shot of Toradol 60mg. He gave me 200 mg of carbamazepine . I have to take 400 mg a day. It is an anti seizure medication that will relax the nerve. And he have me hydromorhone 2 mg for pain. They have me lined up to see a specialist. Sorry I am not making much sense I am taking 2 medications which make you very very sleepy and confused.
  2. Has anyone dealt with this? I have a sweet 14 yr young cat who wasn't feeling well. I mostly decided to have her checked because I knew her ears were bugging her. Overall, she wasn't herself. Her appetite is big, but even with that her weight was down. Blood workup discovers she's hyperthyroid. Can't say I'm surprised. Anyway. Choices. Daily meds, every 12 hours indefinitely or a costly one time only radiation injection. I have more questions for the vet but what I've read is the vet hospital will keep her for a few days because their waste is basically radioactive. She's super sensitive and the thought of them keeping her worries me more than the treatment itself. I'm leaning towards the injection. I'm currently medicating her for her ears twice daily. I just can't imagine myself doing something similar to either one of us for the next 5 or more years. The injection is approximately 1500? That doesn't include the x-ray they need prior. At 14 she's on the bubble where daily meds could cost just as much or more. Just curious if anyone crossed this path and what their outcome was.
  3. Hi everyone. I am just here to post to try and make myself feel a bit better as i've been very low recently and going through a lot. If you have read my last post I have explained how I have been under investigation for some medical problems and I am still going through tests due to a misdiagnosis and I am going into hospital on monday for a bone biopsy which was cancelled last month. I was with a "man" for the last year or so. I have posted about him before. I have finally managed to leave him, but this was only because he ended up blocking me after I left him so I have been able to move forward without going back to him this time. I have left around 7-8 times before with no success, but this time I feel strong. I feel like I have to be strong for the medical things that are going on in my life. I am a 24 year old female and I am at medical school, he was (still is) in the british military and has been since he was 16. Everything bad started around 1 month into the relationship when he had his phone contract cut off due to lack of payments. I found this out by finding letters in his room addressed to him from the mobile company. He always told me it was due to the payment not coming out and a mix up with the bank and I believed him because I was in fantasy land and was at that honey-moon stage where you believe everything they say and do because they treat you like a queen. He used to buy me presents and take me out for fancy dinners and help me with petrol money to visit him (he lived 2 hours away). He then got deployed for 5 months where we kept in contact every day, he told me he loved me just before he left and wanted to be together (this was after 4 weeks of knowing each other) and couldn't wait to see each other when he got back. Sometimes he was quiet out there and then all of a sudden he got very unresponsive during the last few weeks of being there and he started to like other female's pictures on instagram, while ignoring me. When i asked what was wrong, he then broke up with me and ignored me for a few days, ignored my pleas to make it work and see me when he got home....so I gave up. He said he didn't want the type of relationship where he has to speak to me all the time, which is fair enough and I resepcted that although I was mad for waiting so long. I was devastated after waiting so long for him to return, but I moved on from this after a week and started going back to normal. Then he returned. Apologising that he made a huge mistake and after a few days I stupidly took him back. The first few weeks after he came back were amazing and I was so in love with him. Completley obsessed and pretty much spent my whole summer with him. Then, we arranged to go on holdiday which I had saved £2000 pound for while he had been away which I was looking forward too. Just as we were about to book it he said he didn't want to go away any more and spent time with his child from a previous marriage and went to his mum's house for weeks on end over the other side of the country. I thought this was odd behaviour but ignored it again. I then saw emails and calls pop up on his phone from debt collection companies, and one day I googled the number to find out it was his car finance company. They had sent e-mails and letters saying he had missed payments and he owed hundreds. He lives in a military camp so they cannot gain access to these premesis. When i confronted him he said it was a misunderstanding and it had all been payed off. He then admitted he had some debts so I helped call up the companies to re-arrange missed payments and helped him through the summer financially. We eventually got it all payed off and returned to normal and completley in love again..... I had a strange feeling in my stomach something wasn't right..he was lying in bed a lot...refusing to go out...and seemed very depressed. So I supported him through this and understood he may be a bit depressed after his deployment. Until i found messages from his ex wife (I felt suspicious about something, like stuff didn't add up or seem noraml) saying she cannot believe what he had asked her and he needed to show some respect. When I asked him what this was he said it was a private matter between him and her and it was a family illness and I must respect that. I didn't believe him so I called her, she told me he asked her to move to Canada with him on a new military posting to make their family work again. I was in so much shock I left him for a few days. He then text me saying he was sorry and it was all a mix up, she'd made it up because she is trying to destroy the relationship. Stupidly I believed him after a couple of weeks of convincing and apology letters, and him coming to visit me for a change and everything returned to normal.... I was then confused because he started voluntarily deploying to germany......and he said it was to save money up so he could be with me...but in germany I found out he was asking friends, his ex wife and me for money...hundreds of pounds...when they dont need to spend any money out there. He would also dissapear on the weekends with his male friends and switch his phone off for days on end when I know they were off on the weekends so he could go out drinking! It absolutley broke me, and I got upset naturally. Then over christmas we patched things up.......and he bought me a christmas present in January and we went away for the weekend to an air b n b and he cooked me dinner. But he would always ask who i'm texting, try to see my phone, always ask why I hide my phone from him and why I'm always on my phone (I wasn't). He then said he was depressed due to one of his friends in the military trying to kill himself, and him having to spend time in hospital with him, and he wanted time alone for a week or two....so I respected that and gave that to him.....then after 2 weeks he turned around and said he was sorry and he loves me, and invited me to this military ball to which i attended with him and things seemed perfect again. Then this week I found out through mutual friends (the weekends he asked me not to come and see him because he was depressed and wanted to be alone) that he was in fact with another girl who he is friends with from the army....they went to walk his dog....and for food.....when the whole time he told me he was alone.....when I questioned him about it he said she was just a friend and he wanted a break from me.....and lied to me because he thought I would be jealous! I am so upset and hurt by this because he honestly told me he wanted time on his own!!!! I felt physically sick when I found out. I do not know what happened apart from they spent the whole day on Saturday together, and then went for lunch on the Sunday. He then called me after this lunch saying he decided he does want to be with me and he was sorry for being depressed and wanted to be alone!! He literally begged me to come and see him the next weekend and was absolutley lovely all week (which makes it seem like there was some guilt there I don't know)......BEFORE I knew this I offered to drive him to see his child because his car got TOWED!! By police!!! He wasn't paying insurance for 6 months and then he didnt get his car out of the compound within 7 days so the finance company took posession of the car and they are selling/ destroying it!!!! He then decided that it wasnt his fault and he cancelled his direct debit without informing the car finance company even though he still owes money on it (they said they may sell it at auction and any money he owes will have to be paid off by him) ...... so he will be in even more trouble for that....and a £300 fine for the police and 6 points for driving without insurance on top of everything! And even then he was looking at new cars on facebook marketplace and trying to hide it from me!! (RANGE ROVERS) ... he is also on around £30k a year so no idea where all his money is going (GAMBLING) probably!! WHICH HE LIES ABOUT AS WELL!!!!!! I then found out that I had to go into hospital for tests because some scans found a bone tumour which looked canerous. So I told him and asked him to come and see me.....i assumed he would of naturally came to see me anyway! But I had to ask! And when I asked he told me that I was probably making it all up for his attention because I couldn't cope with him being away!! (NOT TRUE) - My mum took me to all of my appointments and tests are still going on to this day due to a miss diagnosis. I am going into hospital on Monday as some scans have showed changes as I have had to have constant monitoring and the surgeons want to biopsy it under general anesthetic. He refused to come and see me or even call me to ask if I was okay..... he said he was busy at work this week and would see me on the weekend but I have to drive down and see him as he hasn't got a car and wasn't going to help with petrol money because HE BOUGHT ME SOME FOOD FROM A RESTAURANT LAST WEEKEND. He was on an exercise this week 30 minutes from my home and refused to come and see me!!! Then when I found out about the weekends with this girl (even though nothing may have happend its still a LIE) I told him I didnt want to be with him anymore because of what's going on and I need supportive people...not distractions e.g. his petty LIES about being with another girl...and your car being towed............and I still wanted to be friends... He then called me a psychopath and told me to 'bore off' and he didnt tell me because I would of got jealous and he wanted to AVOID the conversation to make his life easier. And to please me it was easier to say he was on his own than with another girl. He said he didn't want me now anyway because I CANNOT TRUST HIM and that's my problem!! And if that's how I justify to msyelf why the relationship ended then I have to crack on and do that but the real reason the relationship ended is because I didn't trust him!!!?!??! which makes absolutley no sense. He told me to off, but then preceded to tell me not to block him on whatsapp because he wants to know how I get on in hospital!! But he didnt want to be with me anymore either and I should probably go and other guys to make myself feel better!! I blocked him straight after this conversation!! It's like he had no argument back to being caught out on his lies so he found it easier to say to me that he didn't want me anymore either.....and im crazy........ :'( I am so upset...this has been nearly a year and a half of my life wasted and invested on his daughter!!! And I am about go back into hospital now :'( all he does is drink and gamble and LIE!!!! I am just wondering how I move on FULLY from this relationship..........he still wanted to keep in contact about next week (or said he did so didn't look like a complete arsehole) and that I needed to grow up....I am just wondering why people act like this when they get caught? it just seems like he is a master maniuplator...has no feelings of empathy towards me at all...even though a few days ago he was saying how much he loved me..........I feel like I just wasted my life believing everything he said and I cannot even imagine the stuff I did not manage to find out on the days when he dissapeared. And he also told his ex wife that I had a historectomy and i could never have children.........and when I asked him about that he said it was a lie and he'd never say that..even though I had it in writing in front of me......he still denied it. I am not a jealous person...but I got upset at the lies...if he was open with me I would of been fine with him spending time with other females.......I never stop him going out drinking or anything I always say have fun! And never accuse him of cheating on me during these times....it all fell apart....Can someone tell me what I did wrong for someone to do this to me? Was it me or are these people just like that and do it to anyone? I assume now he'll just pick another female to move onto and do the same to him.....and maybe choose someone this time who is less inclined to investigate his lies...he said that he never liked how much I look into things when I have suspcions!! Well turns out that feeling was always there for a reason..... :( Someone shed some advice please! Im just scared of the hospital situation and now feel completley alone! Even though I was before lets be honest! I always had this faint bit of belief he'd be by my side if something like this happened......it's scary now I am actually fully alone. It's like I always felt as him being with me but not being supportive was better than him not being there at all..... Someone please give me some advice, nothing harsh please as I am very upset for monday!! xxx
  4. So I recently came out of hospital from a minor operation, and it got me asking a big question; what if I came out of the hospital having to adjust to the new life of not being able to control my body from waist down? I have been with my boyfriend since high school and we've grown up a lot together. We have become very serious and at times talked about marriage and kids and our future together wherever it may be. When I asked him "what if I got into a freak accident and lost my legs or became paralysed babe, what would you do?" after not much thought, he answered "I don't think you can expect me to stay in a relationship with you. I would be there for you and wouldn't just leave you, but I can't commit to stay in a relationship with you. I have my happiness to think about and the same would apply to you if the situation was the other way around. Though this would be different if we were married because of the "in sickness and in health" thing." After hearing that my heart honestly dropped. I thought it was fair for him to say that because in that situation you really cannot blame someone for leaving you because the life of taking care of someone like that would be miserable; you cannot expect someone to care and love you in that situation and you have to put yourself in their shoe too. Their days would be so heavily focused on taking care of you in almost every way and it would be exhausting both mentally and physically. This would become a form of codependency and it could potentially drag the mental wellbeing of the carer down to a toxic level. If they decided to leave because of these reasons, I can't and wouldn't blame them at all. While that is the case, at the same time, this really made me question my relationship and now I am faced with doubt and confusion. My heart dropped because it made our relationship seem superficial. I thought how can you tell me that you would be there for me but at the same time you could one day be with someone new and the only reason why and how you were able to do that was from me becoming paralysed from a freak accident? It fkn sucks and really hurts to hear that. Also, forget the "in sickness and in health" part of the marriage, how does marriage make the difference in this? If you only stay with me because of the stupid vows you made at the altar but not actually be emotionally involved with me, then what is the point? Should we even get married one day if that was the case? Should I even stay with him knowing his answer? I have always been that girl who believes if he doesn't want to be with me then I won't stop him from leaving; I would rather be alone than force a relationship no matter how serious it was. Now talking about my side, how I would feel if this was reversed, I would not know what to do. I don't want to place a definite answer that "yes, I will stay no matter what" because its easier said than done to be with someone like that. Though when the moment the question was asked my way, I told him his answer was fair and I would probably be the same, but I had a warm feeling in my heart and it whispered "yes, I want to stay with you no matter what". I didn't end up telling him how I may have truly felt because I was taken back by his answer. I'm now really torn between both sides and if anyone could give some advice that would be greatly appreciated. :smug:
  5. So where do I start. I was with my ex for 7 years we had 3 kids . Our relationship was never really perfect and was on and off . Things were crap and to top it off I was pregnant with our 3rd child and in hospital with our 2nd because he had been hit by a car. I spent 6 weeks living at the hospital he turnt up mabey 10 times .we had a row one night and that was it never saw him again . Untill now . One morning I went to my friends house and there he she had hired him to do her garden not knowing it was him. (What is the chance in that ) . Any way I got his number and had a go I had so much hate and anger .Y did he leave like that ? How could he do that to our kids ?( he had never meet our youngest). He asked to have contact with the kids . Wich I agreed on but now he's telling me how he regrets wat he done he can't get me out his head . I'm so confused . My head says no but my heart melts wen I see him he's aslo a liar and a cheat and I have no trust for him . But how do I no he will stick around
  6. I am 37 weeks pregnant and this whole time MIL and FIL agreed to watch 2.5 yo DD while we deliver the baby. -On Christmas we had an argument which basically entailed MIL boundary stomping. We agreed to a break no babysitting in -January but still they would watch DD when we are at the hospital. -3 weeks ago MIL had a bad fall and bruised her chest. She is bedridden and cannot eat solids. -Yesterray during one of my husbands check up calls FIL said he doesn’t feel comfortable to watch DD bc MIL mainly did the caretaking and she can’t right now. Basically, told us to find some other child care options for Daughter during delivery. We have NO ONE in the area that can watch DD overnight for 2-3 days when I’m in the hospital. I asked husband why FIL feels uncomfortable watching DD and his reasons were that he never changed a diaper, and that he can’t keep up with DD and afraid she will get hurt or in trouble. As much as I want to be sympathetic I am also sooo stressed bc we baby could come any day and we have no other child care options! I am frustrated at FIL for waiting until NOW to tell us. I am mad at FIL but don’t know if this is justified or if I should cut him slack.
  7. I've had to see my boyfriend in secret for 3 and half months because of work (there is a thread on here) but now we are public. He has told me about his medical issues with his arms, He has had attacks of pain (he spasms and wants to scream in pain) at work and I know what to do in an emergency (I've had to help on a date we had) He has a GP doctors appointment, followed by a Hospital consultation and a brain scan coming up. I want to ask him to come, sit in the waiting room so he isn't alone when he gets there and comes out, if he wants to talk he can talk if not we can just head back. I'm scared of hospitals, I'm not sure if my boyfriend is but with everything going on he might not be too keen on them. So I'd like to go and support him. Is it too soon in our relationship? I don't want to go in to the consultation room, I'll wait outside. I just don't want him being alone.
  8. On the weekend of mother's day, we went shopping for his mom's gift for when we would see her on Mother's day. We had a great time at her place. As we were leaving, she hugged each of us and told us she loved us. She told him he looked like he was doing better than ever. I had the same thought, about our relationship, that in this point in time we were doing better than we ever had. Didn't know it'd all change in a few short days. Spent Monday telling each other happy we were. Tuesday was spent talking about our goals and plans for the future, all involving bettering ourselves. We were seemingly on the same page with everything. And then Wednesday morning.. We both work from home for the same company. Some days are slow for him, and he spent that day cleaning...doing things outside in the yard...and I was working when he walked in the room looking worried, like he had something to say but couldn't. I joked with him and told him to spit it out, he could tell me anything. He almost looked like he wanted to cry and then he told me he'd been talking to his ex girlfriend from 7 years ago. They dated a little over a year. When they broke up, we spent 3 years casually seeing each other (while he healed himself from the fallout of that relationship) and then we made things official. Would have been 4 years living together this October. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and asked if he told her about us. No. So I said I have to focus on work, let's talk about it later. Later comes and he shows me his phone history logs. I notice only one number he was texting at odd hours of the night and ask if that was her. He said yes. Later found out, it was not, it's his mom's number. Then he says he maybe didn't even msg her and was just tripping and read her name. So with his blessing, I messaged her directly..she's in a happy relationship and hasn't spoken to him in years according to her. I try to brush it off and we enjoy the rest of our afternoon and evening alright. We talk about starting a garden and go look at supplies. He's extra lovey and passionate. I think to myself we can maybe work past this.. But as the night comes on, things get really weird.. We spend most the night laying in bed together. He's holding me, kissing me, saying everything about how much he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. We talk about our plans to marry in the next couple years. And then I have a moment of hesitation (thinking about earlier) and pull away. He notices. And things shift. He says how can I act like I love him and then act so cold. I explain I'm just in my head and hurt. He walks away and I follow. He tells me I need to leave and asks how can I do that? I asked what? What did I do? And he insists that I know. I explain that I do not. And he says that I put a hit out on him. WHAT? I grab my phone and walk down the street. Call my mom. Concerned, not sure where this is coming from or what to do about it. Also unsure of his state of mind at this point. I finally come back, still talking to her and my step dad. My ex comes in the room I'm in and I end the convo. They call back and he answers. My stepdad tells him to give me my phone. Things calm back down...we go back into the bedroom and he's back to being loving for a while. Then he switches again and tells me he loves his ex 50 and me 50. He says her body is perfect but my mind is WOW. I apologize for not being good enough. He tells me I am pretty and says he maybe he needs to just learn that he doesn't need to everything that looks good. I ask if he things we are meant to be together and he says he knows we are. Then he tells me how we are experiencing two different realities. Not really sure what he's thinking but this is the point I really start to think he's on something. He starts talking about he's trying to save my dad and boss. Next minute, he's offering me an edible and when I decline, he begins accusing me of trying to poison him. Next, he's in the hallway, laying on the floor with his unloaded gun. Bullets laying all around him..building snot and spitting everywhere. Comes back to the room, and spits at me. Tells me he his pants. I leave the room...and he follows, Then says he is an A.I. that I (Elon Musk) has created. That's it, before he grabs his car keys and our ferret and leaves the house. He comes back a few minutes later and as I hear him pull up, I go outside to hopefully stop him from leaving again, or at least grab the ferret. He sees me and flies into reverse, leaving again. I'm scared for them both at this point. I start walking down the road, hoping to see them. I see his car parked and walk over. They're both gone. I search around the area and nowhere to be seen. I go back to the car and to my surprise it's unlocked, keys inside. I get in and drive around town searching. Nothing. I pull over and call his sister and explain what's happened before driving home, hoping to see them there. Instead, a cop car. I pull into my driveway and two cops come up to me. Ask me if I live there and my relation to him. Explain that he's claiming to be on shrooms, that he also claimed to give the ferret shrooms. Claimed he was saying the government was out for him and he threw the ferret like a rag doll at them. They asked me whether I knew if he was under the influence of any drugs. I said I suspected it but had not seen him take anything. They then tell me the ferret was with animal control and my ex was sent to the hospital for evaluation. He also told them the car was stolen and he was supposed to meet someone there...not sure who that person would have been. One of his sisters stop by and we go get the ferret first and then go to the hospital. Due to covid, we were not allowed in to see him but answered their questions. He was there for a day or two before being transferred to have his heart evaluated. During his time at the hospital, I tried many times to speak with him but any time I tried, he would either hang up or tell them he didn't want to talk to me. I couldn't get any updates from the hospital so I was pretty much at his family's mercy. His mom was awesome...let me know all going on, and even let me come over once. We were all a wreck. When he was finally released, I expected to see him or at least hear from him. It didn't happen, and his mom told me he wanted to be with her for a week and wanted to be left alone. I said I respected that and gave him his space. Couple days later he called. Conversation went terrible..he spent 30 minutes accusing me of everything under the sun...asking why I didn't sound like myself, asking why I was breathing heavy, what had I been doing, had I been cleaning? How much had I been driving his car? Had I been doing drugs? Where was his phone and how could I leave him stranded at the hospital without it? I explained I didn't know where it was but offered to look if he wanted. I found it and he asked me to leave it with his wallet, which he had also left behind. Couple days later, he messaged me from a texting app and asked if we could chat. I said sure. Conversation went much better, mostly positive but not relationship talk at all. He said hearing from me was the highlight of his week and reminded me I am amazing and he's lucky I'm in his life. I again thought maybe we could get past all this. Two days later, Friday, I'm hoping he'll be back for the weekend and I get a call asking.me to leave the door unlocked so he can come get some stuff. Devastated me..when he walker through the door, sick of waiting around, I demanded some sort of answer. He doesn't want to talk. I say just answer me three questions...did you ever love me? Yes. Do you love me? No. Are we done? Yes. I tell him that I need to leave then, he has his family supporting him but I have no one there. He doesn't like that and tells me I should stay, to use his car and move my sister out there (she lives in Arkansae, with a daughter and a job). I explain that's just not logical and not going to work and I'd be calling my mom. His only response is he has a doctor's appt Tuesday and maybe we can talk then and he'd maybe text me before then. He does not text me over the weekend and Sunday morning, I leave with my mom. I let him know where the spare key is to the house and lock everything up. Never hear from him til I'm over halfway into the drive. His question then is if I actually left. I said yes. And he states that I need to help him with my half of everything. I am open to it, but we get into it a bit. Things calm down and he tells me he will call me Tuesday when things are calmer and we can talk about it then. Tuesday comes and goes and I never hear from him. Wednesday morning, I shoot him a text and he responds that he doesn't want my help and he'd handle it himself. I reach out a few times after that, offering to help.. Never hear anything back. And to date, now over a month later, that's the last I've heard from him. Well, last Monday after work, I hear from his sister on fb. She's asking me for our landlords number. I give her what info I have. Little bit later, she's asking me if I have any idea who he's continued to talk to or where he might be. He's missing again. Long story shortened, hes found a couple days later about 4 hours from home. Mental break down and possible drugs. He's sent to the hospital and held there again. Been out a few days now, and I've not heard anything from him despite my numerous (pathetic) attempts. I've literally never experienced anything like this in my life. I remember it so vividly and I've replayed it hundreds of times since then and can't make any sense of it. I don't know what happened. How do things go from so good to totally lost? How does he love me and then totally ghost me without a second thought? How can he put his family through this too? I don't know how to even being to heal without closure, but none of it makes sense and I'm starting to feel like I'll never get the answers to my questions...
  9. Well. I have some bad news. While things at work are ok, and they don't seem to care about what happened, since a comment was made by a coworker that the person who chose the bad architect was given several names, so if she's unhappy, she's a grown woman and should be able to deal with it. However, the friend and I had a huge fight and he beat the crap out of me. Yes, you read that right. He beat the crap out of me Monday night. Threw me through a window, and when I was down and bleeding badly he kicked me in the lower back, in the kidney. His mother was cheering him on. Yes you read that correctly, too. Telling him to teach me a lesson. Cops came, but he's an architect, a nice, level-headed guy! And she's a doctor! And he said he only moved out of the way when I ran at him, causing me to go through the window, not him throwing me into it. Doesn't really explain the lower back injury or me peeing blood all night. So cops say "Well, this is a domestic disturbance, so you all go back inside and we'll take her to the hospital". Then they cuffed me. I'm bleeding all over the place, can't sit up because of the back pain, and they cuffed me because apparently he told them he was worried about my mental state and I might hurt myself. Know what happens when the cops show up at the hospital with someone in cuffs who "might hurt themselves"? That person gets to go on a Psych hold. I had the crap beat out of me and somehow I'm the insane one. I had to sit there while they cleaned me up, took blood and made me pee. When the pee came back RED a doctor looked at my back and said "Wait a minute, you can't do this to your own back. What happened tonight?" and finally they started listening to me. The Psychiatrist and the nurses and everyone were like "You are fine, not insane, we're so sorry, it's the cop's fault for bringing you in here like that". And then I got to go home, in a cab, in the middle of the night. Then, I got to come to work the next day and explain what happened to all of these people who know him and think he's a nice guy. I think I'm still a little in shock. I can't process that this happened to me. In a million years I never thought I would ever be in handcuffs for anything. I'm a nice person, a law-abiding citizen. I never thought I'd have to proclaim my sanity in order not to have to go in the Psych ward. Thank God for that doctor noticing my back. Thank God. This betrayal is monstrous. I have a restraining order all filled out, waiting to be filed. I am afraid to do it. The fact that he could lie so easily to the police means he will lie to the courts. Which will make me vulnerable. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone about this.
  10. My dad has always had complete deafness in his left ear. He has been on dialysis a few months and was feeling really good. He woke up the other day completely deaf. He went to the hospital stayed 2 days and signed himself out. I am going to be in his area tomorrow . I hope to get to see him.
  11. I posted recently about my partner being in hospital and acting really cold with me and not wanting me to meet his family because he feels uncomfortable to introduce me under those circumstances. I am just seeking more advice. I have been going up at least twice a week. Every time I call him I can almost gaurentee he won't answer. I thought maybe it's because he is in hospital and is not up to taking phone calls. However whenever I go up there is on the phone 85% of the time and never puts his phone down. I send him messages on what's-app and he coldly replys hours or a day later. Everything was perfect before he went into hospital and now he is treating me like an unwanted smell in the air. I keep going to visit him because I love him and want to make sure he is ok. I have now decided to not contact him at all for 4-5 days. I feel his moods are a hint and I want to see what he does without contact. Guys I am going crazy. We spoke on the phone for hours a day and constantly messaged each other (honeymoon period) He is like a different person, who I don't recognise. Is it me over thinking, or what? I split up from my fathers child over 2 years ago. I have not been with another man since. My current partner is the first guy I have dated in a while and now all this rubbish is happening. I can't function and most importantly stressed out about his well-being, and how much he has changed. I miss him, I miss the guy I met and thought I knew. What do I do? Thank you!!
  12. Hi Myself ( English) and my girlfriend ( Romanian) have been together for a while. Over the past few days we have been talking/arguing about having a baby. We would both like to have a baby in the near future however the biggest problem is where she wants to give birth. We are both living here in the UK and both work full time she wants to fly back to Romania and go private ( costs around £1000) to have the baby because she doesn't have confidence in the NHS plus she wants to have a cesarean because she is worried about the pressure on her eyes when giving birth naturally. The doctor in Romania a few years ago told her you could possible damage a vessel in your eye if you give birth naturally! On top of wanting to go and give birth in Romania she wants to stay there for around 2 months and says she can cope with everything on her own whilst I'm back in the UK working and once she is ok she will come back and stay with me. I have mentioned that there are good and bad hospitals in the UK and luckily enough to have some good rated hospitals nearby to where we live i.e. adenbrooks. I've also mentioned that if she goes to Romania to have the child and rent an apartment we need to be saving at least £5000 to cover bills for the UK and also for her to stay in Romania for 2 months. I've told her that I'd be upset if this was to happen and even more so if anything went wrong and I wasn't there to help her i'd be upset even more. I want to be there for bother of them. She has also said the likelihood of her mum and dad helping is quite slim. What should I do? I can only have 4 weeks off work during this time unless i was to take unpaid holiday which means saving more money. If she had the baby here in the UK then everything would be ok. I don't know what to think.
  13. Hi everyone, as the quest for a new place to live continues I've been having doubts as to rent a place again or buy one. The rent is terribly high where I live and can't seem to find a decent 2 bedroom appartment where keeping my pets is allowed. I've been checking out appartments to buy and had stumbled upon one really great one (ideally located, big enough, 2 bedrooms, garage) but another person bid higher then me so I lost it - looking back on this the asking price was too high anyway for a limited area. Now I have seen a new build house which is a little more expensive but, has 3 bedrooms (1 large and 2 small), 170m2 living area, and a small garden. This house has a lot of things I was looking for but is located near a busy road. It is about 10m away from the road though. It is near stores and the highway (a few kms), right in the middle of the distance between three major psychiatric hospitals (im a psych resident) and also close to where my parents live. I'm now having doubts as to whether or not it's a good idea to buy alone. My dad is willing to support me financially but I'd still have to lend a considerate amount of money. Something in my head is saying I should not be being as a single, I should continue to rent until I meet the woman of my life and then build together. Another voice is saying that might never happen (I'm a lesbian) and this house has a lot to offer. Would you consider buying a house alone if you were financially able or is it wiser to wait until you are in a stable relationship?
  14. ok so I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now. Ive posted about him before, how we dated 8 years ago back in highschool for 2 weeks. we got reconnected through an online dating site and began dating again in april. The first few weeks went amazing. he seemed head over heals for me. he did so much, texted me often, went out of his way to do things for me, complimented me, etc. BUT it seems like ever since I agreed to be his girlfriend, he seems to be trying a lot less. he doesnt text me as often and only wants to see me once a week. I've confronted him about his behavior and he just said he was comfortable in the relationship. ANYWAY, the past week he has gotten me really angry. After work one day last week I was crossing the street and a bicycle went through the red light and slammed into me full speed. I was knocked uncounciuos. Blood was everywhere and the police and ambulence were called. I spent 4 days in the hospital! I fractured my skull and almost had to get brain surgery, I fracted my nose, and I pulled something in my neck. I was on all these pain medications, had to get several CT scans, several x-rays, and an MRI scan. My blood pressure got really low, I couldnt eat, I was hooked up to a blood pressure machine, I had an IV needle with saline going through me, these things on my legs to massage them to prevent blood clots, I have to wea this neck brace, etc. OK so you get the point. Now my boyfriend didn't really text or call me when I was in the hospital. He didn't visit me either. I would text him and tell him what happened and he didn't really seem to care. I think he only texted me once saying "whats up". So anyway I got out of the hospital. I saw him for the first time yesterday in nearly 2 weeks. He basically said he didn't think me being in the hospital was a big deal. He said I needed to get over it; that I was OK. He said I needed "thicker skin" and to "move on from what happened". He even said it was kinda my fault (which it wasn't) that I should of reacted faster. He asked if I had some sort of calcium defiency if I fractured my skull. Now of course I'm really upset over this! All of my friends sent me flowers, balloons and cards and its like he doesn't care. Then he seemed bored at my house yesterday. Then he blamed it on having a bad day. I have this feeling he might break up with me because he mentioned we didn't have much in common. I flat out asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said he likes me but we dont have much in common and he has to think about it (!?). i mean he says he cares about me and adores me and was kissing me yesterday, but i cant get over what he said??? UGH SHOULD I JUST END IT?
  15. So I'll give a little background on the EX first. According to my GF he was abusive (once choked her) and a drug addict (cocaine). He also had a uncontrollable temper, probably due to the drug use. He also got her quite addicted to the cocaine as well. I know that's not his fault but I thought it was worth mentioning. Basically a horrible relationship that by no means ended on good terms. When she broke up with him I let her stay with me. 6 years later we are still together, she isn't involved with any drugs and last year we bought a house together. So a few days ago she finds out from a friend that her EX got stabbed by his drug dealer (their drug dealer when they were together). This was obviously a dispute over drugs. He is in the hospital but they say he is going to be alright. Anyways yesterday the EX's mom text my GF and tells her that the EX was stabbed but will be OK and that he would like visitors in the hospital. So she went to visit him without telling me about it at all. I'm really pissed off about this and don't understand why she felt the need to see him. I can understand if the ex got into a car accident of got sick but the reason he is in the hospital is because hes a drug addict and can't control his temper, the main reasons she left him. I don't think in this situation it's right for her to visit him and a insult to me. Are my reactions/feelings justified or am I over reacting. I need a second opinion.
  16. I've had to let go of my 16 yr old son! I can't control him anymore. He barely goes to school. He lies about where he is. He's more loyal to his friends than to his family lately. I try to remember what it was like being a teen. Tough years and wouldn't go back for all the money in the world....He left for school on Friday, I thought he went to his father's after school but he just now called to say he's been at the hospital with his sick friend & her baby! He has no gas in his car and no money. When I said I was on my way, he said NO, he was staying there! I don't even know what hospital they're at......I do know this baby has been ill off an on since she was born.....I'm thankful my son is not the father!....I provide him with a car, I pay the insurance, I give him a tank of gas weekly, I pay for private school! I work TWO jobs to do this....He has no respect for me what so ever....I fear he's using drugs.....I don't trust him anymore...I've punished, I've praised. I've given, I've taken away...I've done all I know to do...My heart is breaking, but I have to let go and take care of me now........That may sound terrible coming from a mother but I'm at the end of my rope with him. I can not change him, thereforeeee it's time to protect myself....Thoughts and prayers are gladly accepted. :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
  17. >Be me >Some 18yo HS student >Have 2 best friends >Known the female for 2-3 years and the male for 4-5 years Well , I've never thought I'd see myself in this situation. To begin with, I've lived in these apartments 5 years ago and became best friends with my neighbor who lived below me. I lived there for about a year until a University bought it and kicked everyone out. We'll refer to this best friend as "Bugz". He went to some other complex and my family decided to rent a house. We pretty much had this nomadic set since I was young where we'd move every year (it didn't help with my school and I wasn't very thrilled about making friends all the time). Well, about 2.5 years ago (around March of 2015) I met his girlfriend who we can refer to as "Red" and I thought that he was lucky to have someone who cares about him. They have a bond that I consider something to be beyond "Boyfriend and Girlfriend" they have saved each others life. Bugz saved Red when she didn't care for herself and would cut herself (I didn't know her when this happened) and Red saved Bugz life when he was slowly "dying" in a SUV with parents who smoke like a chimney and have cats up the ass so the air quality wasn't up to par. Now you'd think it was a match made in heaven but Bugz is abusive and Red cheated on him and hates herself for it. Him being abusive was the reason why she cheated. To give the middle finger to everyone, the dude was 14 when he said he was 17 almost 18. That caused the whole relationship to fall apart and Bugz claimed once that he never had romantic feelings for Red in the first place (even though I don't believe him, I never confronted him about it). They are still best friends live with each other and are in an open relationship and do things (I believe it's just life support to a dead relationship). Now to get into my dilemma. About 2 months ago, my grandmother was in a hospital after a stroke. At the time, I didn't even know what happened and the docs thought she had a brain tumor (She played a mother figure when I was growing up). Red, my best friend, came to the hospital even though I said she didn't have to (I'm used to crying by myself). What she did was nicest thing someone has ever done for me. She was there when I needed someone the most and after a while I started to have feelings for her. I didn't think much about it at first until I stayed the weekend. I kissed her while Bugz is out of the room and started a hidden relationship (I never knew why though, it was a open relationship they were in). Bugz found out and we were both pretty scared, he said he was fine so me wanting to be with made cliff jump gave myself two choices, A) get with her or B) it was curiosity and we should remain friends. I picked A, I even knew that I would fall pretty hard if I did. She invited me over and we talked about it, I even asked Bugz face to face to show that I wasn't backing down easily. He agreed and I asked her how she felt. She said she'll try it but was scared that I might fall faster than she might (I never told her that I was already slipping or anything). I stayed the weekends continuously one after the other. About 2 weeks in she called it off because she was scared that I was falling too fast and didn't want to hurt me. So I sucked up and tried to play it cool because she almost wanted to cry. But even after calling it off we still talked and kissed each other. Another 2 weeks and Bugz said "It makes me uncomfortable but as long as you're not doing it near me I'm fine with it". Now, this is recently, she said that it might be better if we went back to being friends but I know her more than she thinks. I know she likes me and was hurt when she said it. She blames herself for what happened. Now as of this post, this is all that has happened up until recently, I've never made it this far in an relationship and I'm not sure what to do and I thought asking for advice would be the best thing to do. Especially asking someone who doesn't know us very well since there really won't be much of a bias. But yeah, I'm at an impass and I I don't know what to do. I'm just going with what I know and it isn't much to be honest...
  18. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a couple years now. We are very much in love and usually get along great. There was a girl before I came along who would text him lots and really liked him but as he was married previously nothing happened with her, the most that would happen he says is that he texted her back if she messaged him. So now a few years later he is divorced and he and I are together. We’ve lived together for over a year Too. He gives me no reason to think anything is going on other than I recently looked at his phone and over the course of 3 days he was texting this girl I mentioned. It was just about her dad as he is good friends with her dad and he has been sick in the hospital. I left it alone since nothing harmful was said. But I drove us home from Christmas drinks the other night. It was quite late and he was texting someone. He had been drinking too. I was curious who he was texting and once we got home and he had gone to bed I snooped and it was her. He texted that he had been thinking about her lots and then asked if she was still in the city (that’s where her dad is in the hospital). She just said no she was at Home with her kids and they haven’t texted the last couple days since. I’m not sure if I should be worried and bring it up or not. I feel ticked off at him and I’ve been acting grumpy towards him bc he knows I know she used to like him and don’t like them talking. Then he says “I’ve been thinking about you lots” to Her. Maybe he just meant I’ve been thinking about your family since it was Christmas and her dads stuck in the hospital. I don’t know but it’s really bothering me and I don’t know what to think. I don’t want him to know I was snooping on his phone either. Should I ask him about it or just assume he was thinking about her family and not just her?
  19. Hi everyone! I hope everyone is doing okay. My story begins with my ex leaving me on this past NY Eve. He moved out all of his belongings on the day of and after. We were together for a year, and lived with each other for half a year. It's good that it happened since it needed to but the way it was went about was absolutely terrible which he has since apologized. This was my first serious relationship and his second. It was a year, but it was an amazing first 8 months, with the last 4 going up and down as I hit depression and he ended up becoming depressed too. It affected us financially, emotionally and physically. We were fighting like children with little EQ. My ex and I miss each other, and of course it took a harder toll on me since I've never gone through a breakup and that he initiated it in an awful way (texted me over the phone he was coming over to talk about the lease and things moving forward, when I was out of town, and he ended up moving out his belongings when I wasn't there. I called and he admitted he was breaking up with me over the phone, I had to ask twice because he was hesitating.) For the past week, I have initiated a no-contact during the day. We only limit to talking an hour over the phone or texting, sometimes face timing at night. It is at night because we are both night-owls and that's when we are relaxed so we would summarize the day to each other. It was for me, since I was blowing up his phone being pathetic and heartbroken. I have a feeling this no-contact thing is a bit rough on him, but because there is something else going on - his uncle. His uncle is very close to death after 40+ years of heavy drug abuse, alcoholism, chain smoking, diabetes, failing kidneys and poor diet. The guy is in and out of the hospital, and recently went back in around the time I initiated no-contact during the day and his uncle will be in the hospital for the rest of this week. His condition is very poor, he is unable to talk. Decision makers have been placed and papers have been filled regarding life support. etc. He isn't very close to his uncle, but it's his Mom's brother, so he is very concerned about his mom, and his Uncle's son whom he is close to and sees as a little brother. I have reached out occasionally to ask, because when I was with him and his uncle was in the hospital, he would wait for me to ask rather than him updating me right away. He relapsed 4 days ago calling me old nick names, looking at our old photos and videos, admitting he felt very lonely. He admitted to feeling lost and lacking motivation for anything. He asked if we could do activities together to go on hikes and biking. I said if I have time I'll let him know. The past two days he didn't initiate night-time contact, but that's when I reached out briefly regarding his uncle. He would respond to say thanks, and I wouldn't say more, only for him to re-initiate. This is my first heartbreak, I don't know what to do with this situation. I have to put myself first, and his uncle's situation is not my obligation. But I am human. Also, I'm still young (23). My heart wants him back, but I am nowhere near ready. I miss him dearly of course, and wish I could be there but I can't especially through this situation where he's sometimes crying on the phone. We did say time will tell..... Am I doing the right thing? Should I contact less?
  20. My ex-girlfriend is abusive. I won't get into how she is abusive because I could write a book about that this post is going to be long enough as it is. Outside of that she has broken up with me several times just to come back with me within 24 hours. The last time I actually didn't take her back but on valentines day she surprised me with many romantic gestures and wooed me back in. The next day she was right back to her old abusive self. soon after, for the first time, I broke up with her and so it stands to this moment. I get a call from the metal hospital a week later. Apparently her co-workers learned of her plans to kill herself and had her committed. The mental hospital thinks she will be there for a very long time as they have since diagnosed her with seemingly every mental illness known to man. Here is the problem. At this moment I don't want to get back together with her. I can't say that when she is released I won't reconsider but currently I don't see us reconciling. I have three ways to go: 1. Keep my distance knowing it will devastate her in a weak time and find a dead body in the bathtub when I get home. (yes we live together) 2. Stay together. Start over from the beginning. This will be more realistic as the time apart will allow us to work on ourselves and take a break from the cycle. Only this whole starting at the beginning and ended up here. Who's to say we won't end here again and I end up with a dead body in the bathtub. 3. Be there for her as a friend. Get her through this time without further emotional investment. Truthfully I can take a lot of abuse if it from someone who doesn't have unlimited access to my emotions but what happens when I meet someone new, want to start a relationship and she is the jealous ex I still talk to. I don't think this would be good for any new woman that comes along and it could prove worse for my ex's mental state in the long run watching me slowly drift away from her and into another relationship. and I find a dead body in the bathtub. I don't want to be with her anymore. I have killed almost all the feelings I have for the sake of my own sanity. It would be relatively easy for me to move on but I have always felt a responsibility to leave my ex in the best mental state possible and I'm not sure how to do that now. A lot can happen in a couple of months. Even if we manage to work it out over the course of the time she is away should I even give her another chance? If she gets help maybe we have a chance. If so, is it even worth chancing? She was a horrible person the majority of our relationship and I feel like if that is who she is should I even consider putting myself at risk again? If more info on her abusive behavior is helpful for answering my question I can volunteer more details. I just figured it would take up unnecessary space.
  21. My medication hasn't been right for a few months now. About a week ago my doctor recommended I go to the psychiatric hospital to get my mental health problems treated (I was suicidal on a daily basis). I wound up in their partial hospitalization program and go Monday through Friday for group therapy. I told my scheduling person that I'd be out for at least 10 days because my doctor had me admitted to the hospital and I still got scheduled to work. Am I in danger of losing my job if I'm scheduled all week and can't make it?
  22. Hey guys!! Born on February 7, 2007 8 lbs 6 oz 20 inches long (I think...) and a FOURTEEN inch head! I haven't filed the paperwork yet due to difficulties with the father, but I'm naming him Benjamin. I had a million different names picked out, but when I held him, they just didn't fit. ANYWAYS here's what happened. I'm doped up on Vicodin and haven't slept well so please excuse me for not making much sense... I got to the hospital at 5am for my scheduled induction and they gave me a picotin drip and an IV to get things started. I got an epidural around 5pm when things started getting pretty painful and slept until around 8pm. I called R (the father) to let him know I was in the hospital and he'd better come now if he wanted to be there at all, but he wasn't allowed in the delivery room and he wasn't allowed to stress me out. *sigh* I was fully dialated and ready to push around 8:30 and he was born about an hour later. Nobody's joking when they say it hurts really freaking bad. Even with an epidural. But it's so worth it. So R showed up (AND his mother) and they both tried to get into the delivery room, even though they were told beforehand they weren't allowed. After everything was cleaned up, R came in and was so bent out of shape. R's mom started talking trash to mine, saying she was behind everything. I don't know what the heck, but they brought drama. So dumb. The next day (yesterday) my brother and sister in law came to see the baby, and R showed up. They stayed all day so he wouldn't be alone with me pretty much. Visiting hours ended at 8 and everyone left, and R acted like he was leaving but sat on the bed. He said "the baby's getting my last name, right?" and I didn't tell him no...I said I was thinking about hyphenating them instead, and he freaked out. He told me I robbed him of an experience he should have been a part of by not letting him into the delivery room, and now I'm going to take away his right as a father by not giving him his last name. I told him I thought it was stupid for someone to name a kid after a father who wants a paternity test anyways...and he said that's just for "legal purposes." Whatever. Anyways things got heated, the nurse saw and tried to take my blood pressure which was off the charts, I told him to leave, and he started pointing at me, saying he'd be back, blah blah blah. I broke down, the nurses came in and told me they were calling protective services or whatever it's called for me so they can tell me what my rights are and how it's not okay for anyone to bully me. After that, apparently he went to my mother's house to talk to my mom and my brother. He made a jerk out of himself and they told him what they thought of him. Today he called me and told me he loved me. I told him he has a really weird way of showing it. They he proceeded to tell me he didn't want a paternity test anymore, he wants to be with me, yadda yadda yadda. I said I wasn't talking to him and that's that. He showed up a couple hours later to see the baby, and started rubbing my leg and my back and tried to kiss me. I told him to stop, he said he wouldn't "try" anymore, then left. The nurses put a sign on my door saying every visitor has to check in before going in and were told by protective services to call the cops if they see him again. I feel so torn. I feel crazy. I feel happy because I have the prettiest child ever...but things are about to get really, really, really bad. Protective services asked me a bunch of questions and gave me some numbers to call. They said basically he has nothing. I have all the cards. If he shows up, I gotta call the cops. I should file a restraining order too. He won't be on the birth certificate. In order to change that, he must get a paternity test and go to court. Then I get child support if he were to do that. He has nothing. Even then, he'd have to get supervised visitation because of his record, but I'm gonna need a lawyer. I love this child. But this is going to be the biggest test I've faced so far in my life. It's so bittersweet. Anyways, besides everything, I'm elated (not just because of the vicodin) and my son is so beautiful.
  23. So we have been together for 18 months. Long story short she cheated on me over and over again. I found out on my own. So now i dont want her in my life. Shes 5 months pregnant and eventhough i want space she makes excuses for me to see her regaurding food and hospital trips. I do it. But i just hate being around her. What do i do?
  24. Hey everyone.......my 8 year old grandson has been diagnosed with the Stevens-Johnson Syndrome. He is in critical condition with 3rd degree burns on the inside of his body and it coming through his pores causing large patches of rash that turn into very large blisters. Morphine is helping with the pain, but the doctors tell us the worse is yet to come. As for what has caused this is still a mystery. It could be the Bactrim that he took for his pneumonia or the Mycoplasma Pneumoniae --a bacteria that causes pneumonia. They will never know for sure. He is at a Children's Hospital and receiving excellent care. I would love to hear from anyone on this forum who could shed some light on this and what to expect in the weeks and months to follow. Thank you!
  25. For the third time this year my MIL has landed her butt in the hospital because she decides taking her meds is not something she needs to do based on side effects and the fact that doctors are stupid ( based on the fact that well she knows everything since she went to school till she was 15) ( sarcasm🙄) She admitted as much yesterday to me. She didn’t take her meds three times this year and ended up in the hospital. She’s so stubborn and stupid to the point she’s probably going to kill herself. This is more of a rant than anything. She is causing my husband so much grief and worry.
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