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Hi, so 10 months ago the mother of my kids seperated with me one evening after I had confronted her about her strange behaviour. She had been cold, distant and had been going away to the coast with friends every other weekend. She stated she'd not been happy for a while and that I'd not been making her feel like I wanted her anymore, that she had been telling me for so long that she wanted to do stuff together like we used to but I would just dismiss her and she has given up. I must admit I wasn't the best, I had been through a bit of a metal health issue and let it get to me and was using my hobbies as a way of getting over it so wasn't giving her and the kids time like I used to. My world fell apart, as the man I was now looking at a life as a part time dad, alone and with little money to find somewhere else to live added to the fact I'd lost the love of my life. She agreed that we could stay living together as long as needed and we continued as a family just eventually we stayed in seperate rooms. She told me she still loved me and for the first month I begged and pleaded with her to reconsider and I just pushed her further away it seemed, she continued to go to the coast with friends and seemed to have a new lease of life as I spiralled into a quite severe depression, but kept hope that she would come back to me. 2 months after our split she went away and I was looking for somthing in the bedroom and found that some peticular items of clothing i had bought her had gone missing, my heart sank but I convinced myself that maybe she had thrown them away, but when she returned I took another look and they were back, I couldn't control myself, I didn't say anything but she soon noticed my behaviour and I eventually told her what I had noticed. She initially made up some bull*** about how she did it on purpose and in the she caved and told me she had planned on wearing for a guy who lived where she had been visiting. I was heartbroken all over again, but this time I felt a little more like I didn't want her back anymore and think that was the beginning of acceptance where she was concerned. As the weeks went by i saw her relationship with this guy continued to develop, she would sit on the phone to him for hours and go to see him every weekend. it killed me to hear her on the phone to him. She would ask me to close my door, obviously so I couldn't listen to her conversation but she maintained they were only friends, I had stopped hoping we would get back together at this point and started to focus on my kids, work myself and my work. my self esteem was through the floor, I was depressed and anxious at the thought of what my life was to become as a seperated dad, and I feared she would fall for this guy and move to be with him taking my kids with her, I was all messed up, every time she went away I would enjoy relaxed time with my kids and I feared it would be the last and that she would come home and ask me to leave. Things got strange when after about 5 months I started to feel better about the situation, my depression had lifted and I was starting to feel good about myself again, I had worked on all the things that I felt caused my relationship to fail and was spending lots of time with my kids, I noticed that she seemed to be getting more and more depressed and I asked if she wanted to talk, bit she was emotionally unavailable and heavily walled off, she became very upset and angry and slipped that I had become all she ever wanted and why I couldn't have done it for her while we were together. I had started to notice that her phone conversations with him had become less than positive, I could hear they were were heated and she would appear very upset and distressed afterwards, but I had learned not to ask anymore and just continued on my path to recovery. One weekend she had and intense argument with him over the phone and I decided to see if if she was OK, I didn't ask anything I just went in and gave her a hug, she came with the kids and I out to an event and we had a really good day, like old times. That evening she told me she was going out to see friends and would be staying there, after she had gone she began to message me telling how nice the day was and the conversation moved to talk of sorting things out, I said that it'd be best if we discussed it face to face and told her I lived her and she said the same, but by tue end of the weekend she seemed cold again and told me she didn't want to talk about what we'd discussed right now, I told myself not to hold my breath and carried on. I had become indifferent and distant from her, I had lost around 50 lbs, tidied up my image and had a wardrobe change, and began going out myself and meeting up with old friends, this lead to me meeting someone new, and we began talking regularly and meeting up every now and again at her place, my ex began to question me about what I was doing but i didn't tell her, as I didn't feel i had to. My ex came to my work place one day to drop my youngest child to me as I was finishing the day, as she was going away. When she arrived I was talking tona woman and we were laughing and joking, I said bye to her and walked over to my ex and I could see immense anger in her face, even her teeth were clenched. I asked what was wrong and she just said "you know what's wrong" and she seemed incredibly jealous and it baffled me, she'd made me feel unwelcome in my own home at times and here she was, showing more jealousy than I ever did to her over just seeing me chat with a woman. She continued to probe me about if I was talking to or seeing someone, I just kept denying it and leaving it there, then one evening when I was in bed she came into my room and seemed upset which wasn't uncommen at that time as she was obviously depressed, she asked if she could have a cuddle before she went to bed and I agreed. It felt nice to cuddle her again, we spooned and both fell asleep together. She woke and got up and left giving me a kiss on the cheek and left, but returned moments later and got back in bed and cuddled again, I could feel us drawing and shifting closer and eventually we just engaged in a very passionate kiss that went on for a few minutes until she withdrew and became upset, I asked what was wrong and she said she felt terrible and that she isn't like that (I assume because she was with another guy now) she left again and I followed and said that there was a reason it happened, because we still love eachother. The next day was awkward and she withdrew again, I kept my cool and went back to focusing on myself. I sensed things were getting worse between her and this other guy, and any time we were together things were light hearted and fun, we began watching TV, eating dinner and even chatting about random things together again in a relaxed way which hadn't happend for a long time. One evening I was in bed and she returned from an event she'd attended with friends, I was woken by her climbing into the bed with me and she gave me a cuddle, this lead from one thing to another and we went at it for hours, afterwards she questioned me again about if I was seeing anyone and I finally admitted it. She flew into a jealous rage which lead to me getting lots of stuff off of my own chest to her and it concluded in the small hours with her telling me to leave. I broken heartedly left, I had got to a point where I knew I just had to take the leap and see where I landed, not long after I had left she was calling me and I eventually answered, she ended up asking me to come back to talk, I went back and she said she had told her rebound everything and he had forgiven her and that she loves me and wants me but isn't ready yet, asked me to stay living there and that she just needs time, but she didnt feel good about me talking to other women, I told her that I was single and what I do is my business and I have no reason to stop (kind of trying to get her to be that reason) she explained that she never lied to me about her situation and that I did lie to her, that's why she was asking me not to, or at least not lie about it to her anymore. Since then she has continued her relationship with him and its still not great from what I over hear, and we seem to have a nice time together, apart from her finding out I was chatting to a girl again and she asked me to leave once again, I agreed and packed a bag but she wouldn't let me leave and fell into my arms apologising for how she'd been to me over this time and we laid together and fell asleep. I'm not sure what to do tbh, i feel hopeful one minute and then like I'm being used and played the next, I want to stay forever and leave and not look back. Has anyone else been through this, what happened what did you do and how did it work out, I'm so confused, pleas help me!!! TIA
I really don't know what to do anymore. So I (M22) have known this girl (F22) for around 2 years now. At first it was flirting on and off with a couple of hook ups until we didn't talk for a semester followed by us rekindling and spending our (last/second senior) semester as everything but the label, being almost inseparable. However, before we both moved back home, we decided to end the romantic aspect and be friends for now while we adjusted to adult life and figured things out. During the past summer, we texted from day to night (literally) talking to each other about our days and what we've been up to, and towards the end of the summer, it even became routine to Facetime nightly. With the way we talked and texted (and the fact that we were mutual #1's on snap), I always had the assumption that feelings were still there. Fast forward to like two weeks ago and she has to dogsit in the town of our alma mater (she's from the town over). When a mutual female friend drove to her to go out to the bars for the weekend, she became very quiet and spotty over snapchat and text, but she was with friends so I did not blame her. Eventually for two more days even after her friends left, she was very quiet. One morning, I took a walk and did not answer her good morning texts for two hours after she sent them, resulting in her immediately asking if I was mad once I did eventually answer, which I denied yet I began to question her absence during the past whole week. A pretty heated back and forth ensued, during which we lost the heart signifying mutual #1's on snap. I asked her if she could talk later that night, and she had a whole different attitude than I've seen her have. She pretty much told me that she doesn't have to explain herself whenever she gets quiet (which we have always done) and that she can't do a relationship right now (which I already knew and understood???) Then when I asked her if she still had feelings for me, she said "not right n...no" which I literally would've never guessed she would say. I hung up and that was the last time I called her. I've answered a couple of her texts the days following (she just kept asking how work was/acting like the talk never happened) but I stopped texting her. I snap her like 1-2 times a day, and she usually answers those within an hour which is shocking considering how cold I'm being. I don't know what to do. As angry and frustrated as I am, my feelings for her are still so strong. I have a strong feeling that her friend that visited (who is all about partying and being single) has something to do with this. Can feelings just disappear like that? Do I stop snapchatting her? It would hurt me so much to break the streak, but if it would do anything to make her miss me. How did she not realize that friends don't just text all day and facetime nightly?