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Showing results for tags 'guilt'.
I (16F) am about to be a junior in high school, and I have liked this boy (16M) who sat next to me in my math class (and was on the track team with me) since the start of last year. I soon became a pretty big crush. He knew that I liked him because my sister's boyfriend told him. I eventually formed a connection with him, and we waved at the start of math class and talked as well. He was really sweet and of course that made me like him even more. Then, he suddenly and indirectly mentioned his girlfriend to me. This was right after an exchange we had through Instagram DMs that lasted a week, so it's likely he mentioned this on purpose to indirectly tell me he was taken. I was upset of course, but we still talked often and I thought we were building a friendship. Then, a few weeks later he started mentioning his girlfriend more and more to me, but I didn't really think that much of it. One day I asked for his snap (as a friend) and he proceeded to give me an account he never uses (he had a different main account he was on in class all the time). Then, he sent a snap to me of him and his girlfriend cuddling then proceeded to leave me on opened and never snap me again. I was devastated as this was a guy I looked forward to talking to every day and a connection I so valued. It was clear that this had to do with my crush on him and his relationship status, but I wasn't looking to steal him and just wanted to be friends as I genuinely thought we were, and I thought he'd know this. He was still always super nice in class and at track practices, and he acted as if he had nothing against me, so I believed this and tried to forget that anything ever happened. So we kept talking and on the last day of school I asked for his number. He agreed to snap it to me, seeming not to mind at all, but he never did. My sisters tried to assure me that he forgot, but in my heart I knew it was for the same reason he gave me a dead snap account. I was so sad, but I could not get over this guy because we did talk often and in my mind we did have a friendship. I sent him a reminder on snap, but remembering that he would likely not see it on this account (he left it on opened six weeks later), I sent another on Instagram (we had DMed on Insta multiple times before so this wasn't new), which he did not reply to (he's very active on Insta). I know, dumb move. I eventually decided to let it go. On his birthday, I sent him a birthday wish and insta, and he actually did reply to this. So a few days ago, I sent him a message just asking him how his summer is going which he completely ignored. I feel terrible about this now. I now realize that asking for his number and sending that message were likely overstepping boundaries that he already tried to establish with me. Especially since he has a girlfriend and isn't trying as hard to keep the friendship I thought we had, I feel like an awful person. Just for context, I am quite shy, moved through several schools, and have struggled socially for a long time. This boy is much more popular and attractive than I am, so my definition of a friendship is likely different than his. My question is, how can I move on from such a crush, who has a girlfriend and has little interest in being my friend? How can I move past knowing that I have been inappropriate and wrong with asking for his number and messaging him? I will very likely see him again next year, so is there any way I can clear this up with him, knowing he probably has a strong distaste for me?
I'm not sure if this is actually considered cheating but I feel really guilty and bad. I'm dating this guy that I've posted about before who was a virgin before he met me, but we've had sex. I'm bisexual and just before I met him I had a threesome with a male friend and a woman that we'd previously met at a swingers event. I first had a video call with the guy I'm dating on June 2nd and we just talked online every day for about a week and a half because at the time we were in a two week COVID lockdown where you couldn't leave your house. I've been dating this guy in person for maybe about a month now. We said we are dating and we want a relationship but we haven't actually said we're exclusive in those actual terms. We haven't added each other on Facebook but he did introduce me to his Mum and to his best friend. I haven't introduced him to my parents or my friends at all. I actually like this guy a lot and I developed very strong feelings for him. I think I've actually fallen in love with him but I haven't told him that because I don't want to be too full-on. He told me that he really likes me a lot and I told him the same. Anyway so my male friend said to me that him and that woman were getting a hotel room in the city and asked do I want to join them. I actually had two free promotional tickets to go to a magic show and I was going on my own. So I said to my friend that I won't have sex with them but we could go to the magic show together and go for a drink if they want. They said OK that's fine. The problem was before I went out I drank this coffee flavoured rum a friend gave me. I only ever drink wine so I didn't realise that the rum was actually really strong and I got really drunk. I drank it straight and didn't mix with Coke or anything. I was so drunk I barely even remembered the magic show. Then after the show my friend and the woman asked do I want to go to the hotel room. I said yeah OK. We went to the hotel and we were drinking wine and the woman smokes weed so we also got stoned. And yes you guessed it, I had sex with them. I'm not sure if you would actually say I cheated per se but I just feel so awful and guilty. I like the guy I'm dating so much and I didn't actually want to do this. I mean yeah having sex with them is super fun but it's more important to me to be in a relationship with someone I like. I think I really screwed up really bad 😞