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About Me

  1. I decided to start this as a place to park my hodgepodge of thoughts and what's going on in my life. Had a great Easter yesterday- I had to drive a few hours to the airport to pick my son up from his trip to France and Spain. He had a great time and it seems like he grew up over night! It was so great to have both boys home and with me. Since I had them for Easter, I asked them what kind of meal they wanted and I went and bought the groceries for a nice Easter dinner. Then I get a text from my ex, saying his mom and dad are inviting me and the boys to Easter brunch at their house. Well I didn't really want to go because my ex and his gf would be there. But the boys wanted to go and they wanted me to come. So I told them I would drop them off, pop in to say hi to friends and ex's family, then pick them up later. It took a lot of courage. But Despite that, I actually had fun! My ex and his gf sat on the other side of the room, although at one point his gf complemented a necklace I was wearing. It was fun to catch up with people I essentially have not seen in 4 years since the breakup. Oh the things I do for my sons... Well afterwards I made that nice dinner and we had it by candle light- just before I had to take them to their dad's for the week.
  2. So, I had a zoom conference with some old friends. I have moved out of the country and only get to see them every so often. I was a bit apprehensive about going onto the call, I don't know why, I almost ducked out of it.. But I went on anyway... It was fun, lots of laughs, had a few beers along the way... my gf was on the call with me also... she is friends with some of them also, so I was out getting a drink and interrupted her to ask her something, she said "hang on I'm chatting with my friends".. something inside me flicked and I was fuming .. after that I was micro analysing everything for the rest of the call, had an argument with her after, and she went to bed... I had this overwhelming feeling of lonliness, betrayal she was taking my friends, uselessness, nobody liking me and just a lot of disgust at myself for feeling like this.... I have thought about suicide for a number of years, almost flirting with the idea I guess... but this night I actually went to do it. I have never before, no matter how bad I was feeling. I took a TRX strap, hung it off the door, wrapped it round my neck and let my legs go limp... I was hanging there for about 40-60 seconds... the pressure building in my head was more uncomfortable than the need for a breath.... I could feel myself getting dozy, then something flicked in me again, "if you don't stand up this is it.." I thought.... so I did... took everything down and started crying... I woke my gf back up, but she thought I was going to have another go at her, so didn't want to hear anything from me... It's been 2 days since that now... I feel terrible for the fight, I feel terrible on a whole... but most of all, I've frightened myself that I was actually almost going to do it..... I don't want to die, but I'm afraid I've actually passed the point of toying with the idea to actually doing it, I'm afraid that I coud get to that point again.... The problem is me, I lack self confidence, I lack friends where we live, I lack validation, but for what I don't know... I have a good job, but was not enjoying it so much before all this lockdown happened, but it's paying the bills, I'm still learning and still saving for a house. My gf is great, although I have always had an issue with how gregarious she is, I sometimes feel less around her with friends... I know all that is 100% me.... but that usually turns into me giving out to her about something in social situations... I am keeping fit, I am working towards a degree part time and have a kid who I've been able to spend loads of time with thanks to lockdown... yet I still feel so empty at times.... I had anger issues when we first moved to where we are now, I went to get help and the health services initially diagnosed anxiety... they messed up my records though, sent my appointments to a different address, things got disjointed so I never went back... I felt a lot better then so I thought I could deal with whatever was up, but it seems to comes in waves every few months, maybe over the weekend I was feeling down but didn't recognise it.... Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far... I don't know who to speak to or even how to approach the issue, I feel so embarrassed by it all now...
  3. It's been 3 days since my ex said she lost feelings for me and I'm struggling immensely. I was dating her for 3 years & they were the best days of my life. She was the one I was going to marry and live the rest of my life with. She always said to me that I would be the one to leave her but she was the one who ended up cutting things off. But ever since the UK entered another lockdown in November, I feel like things went downhill. We would meet up once a week and sometimes she would come to stay over at mines. For the first 2 years of the relationship she would always go out of her way to call me and I won't lie, at times I wouldn't pick up the call because I get so nervous on the phone and I would run out of things to talk about. I have no problems texting and I communicate much better in person. She'd get upset at me but I did my best to improve myself in that aspect. The last time I saw her physically was in November and I had no problem with that, London entered another lockdown. We agreed that the best time to meet up would be when malls reopen, she loved browsing stores. Ever since then, the amount of times she would call dropped a lot. I'd be lucky to get a call from her once a week, sometimes she called once every 2 weeks. There was even 2 occasions where she called me just once a month. Since I let her handle the calling, she called me out for not calling her and I apologised, promising her to start calling her. Even with my lack of calling the love was still there, I feel. She would barely call me for the past 2-3 months (ever since I lost my job) and I got mad at her for not calling me anymore. The excuse would be that she got used to texting me and I accepted that, though I missed her voice a lot and I expressed my concern about the lack of calls a lot. Felt like I would argue/confront her like once a week about the lack of communication. Thing is, she would barely argue back. I was always the one doing the talking. If we argued for 30 minutes, 29 minutes of it was me doing the talking and about a minute of her just offering a few words or sentences. Throughout the past month I've tried to call her numerous times but she would never pick up. Instead she would reply to my messages an hour or 2 later. She loves playing PUBG on her phone and I would always tell her to message me when she's done with a game. But most of the time she'd start another game after ending the previous one, without messaging me back. It would upset me because I know everyone is glued to their phones and she knows that I've messaged her. She'd even play the game when we'd sit down in a park or when we'd sit down at a hookah/shisha bar. I had no problems with it and I enjoyed watching her play it. She ghosted on me 3 times when I've argued about the lack of calls and I'd always be the one running back to her after 2-3 days. Even got her flowers during the second ghosting and she wouldn't message me back, I did and she thanked me. After another argument she said she didn't have the energy to deal with me. I told her I felt the same & I asked her if we were still together, to which she replied 'idk' I kept expressing my concern about her lack of calls/messages and her reluctance to meet me. When lockdown restrictions eased up I kept asking to meet up outdoors and she would tell me 'we'll wait & see'. But ever since the easing of restrictions, she met up with her female friends on 2 occasions but not me. Obviously this drove me crazy. After another argument she said that I wanted her to make all the effort after all these years and that she didn't know what she wanted anymore. She said she'd call me on 2 occasions but she failed to. All of our arguments were one-sided and she would barely say anything. So before we broke up she said that both of should take a break and it would be the best thing for both of us. I didn't react too well to this and I wanted an explanation to why she wanted a break, followed by an unanswered call from me. After ghosting for another 2 days, she said she'd call me the day later but failed to do so. 2 days later she picked my call up and I asked her why wanted a break, to which she said she lost her feelings and didn't feel the same anymore. I expressed my disappointment and told her that we should fight for this relationship. Naturally, I asked if she was thinking of a break up and she said yes. I felt so powerless so I reluctantly agreed to it. Told her that she gave me the best days of my life and I wouldn't ever forget her, wishing her the best. Only last week were jokingly talking about having kids. She used to tell me that she was afraid that I would leave her. She wanted to marry me. The day later I broke the lack of contact between us and pleaded with her to give it another chance, that I can't imagine a life & future without her. Told her that I still have belief in her and faith that the relationship can still work, telling her I loved her. She didn't reply but I feel like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I seriously feel like I've lost my purpose of life.. I never once swore at her or insulted her. The only thing that might've pushed her buttons is me questioning the relationship sometimes, due to the lack of communication from her part. I don't think that carried malice and all I wanted to do was make things better. A few days later I posted a story on IG & she viewed it. She still follows me on all social media platforms & she hasn't blocked my number. Was I right in asking her about once or twice a week about her level of communication with me dropping? I feel guilty for constantly harping on about the issue and maybe I should've accepted her offer of a break. If anyone can or wants to reach out or message me, please feel free to do so and do not hesitate.
  4. TL;DR: New girlfriend says she has high sex drive but extremely hesitant to do anything sexual, says I'm not doing anything wrong. What can I do to make her more comfortable/interested? Quick info that will probably be useful: I'm 32 and pretty huge 6'4" 320 lbs. She is 23 and pretty small 5'1" 95 lbs. I have had a lot of sexual experience. She had sex with 1 guy before and it wasn't very often. I have a vasectomy, she knows about it. Both of us do not want kids, ever. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 3 months. We met online and have a legitimately amazing connection. When we originally discussed sex, she stated she had a high sex drive. I said mine was about about normal and we both agreed sex was important to us, but she said she wanted to 'wait'. Her living situation was less then ideal and I own a house so she quickly moved in with me. She has some sensory issues and prefers sleeping in separate rooms, especially due to my snoring. I would rather she slept in my bed, but I am ok with her having her own room and bed. She made it clear at the beginning of the relationship that she wanted to "wait" to have sex, but never specified what she was waiting for exactly, other then 'until she was comfortable'. We did end up having sex within a week or so of her moving in. The sex was great, but she said she felt like she was going to pass out from over exertion and we had to stop before either of us had an orgasm (she said she can't orgasm unless masturbating). The sex lasted almost an hour and a half, that's on the average to low end of normal for me, but I understand that that can be a lot for some women. She refused ALL sexual contact after that for just over 2 months. I bought her very nice vibrator she could use on her own, to help her get in the mood, or do as she pleases but she refuses to use it (she said she has never owned or used a sex toy before). I ask for hand jobs or oral sex, etc. or if I could preform oral sex on her (which I really enjoy) instead of actual sex to try to keep the relationship strong, as well as keep interest but her answer is always "maybe later", and it never happens. I had a sit-down with her at about the 2 months mark and told her I could not continue the relationship if there wasn't going to be anything sexual going on. I explained that I was in a 'loveless relationship' before for multiple years and I refuse to go through that again. She said she understood, that I was being reasonable and that she would try to work on it. She assured me I wasn't doing anything wrong, and she just wasn't ever in the mood, and she got overwhelmed thinking about it sometimes. A week later we had sex and it was even better then the first time, I kept it to a reasonable length this time and I reached orgasm, and she was quite pleased about that. But since then, it's back to the way it was before. She has mentioned previously that her ex would never want to have sex and she pretty much had to beg him. Oddly, she considers oral sex equivalent to actual penis-in-vagina sex. I am very open sexually. She has a certain, slightly embarrassing (to her) fetish that she told me about (with great hesitation). She said she has never done anything with the fetish before. I told her I would do anything she wanted, but she has been too embarrassed/shy to try anything. If we are watching a movie in my bed and I try to initiate sex, or sexual play, she quickly gets up and leaves the room. She says she doesn't even want to make out or anything "because it could lead to other things." I feel like shes not telling me something, she swears up and down that shes just not in the mood and gets overwhelmed. Things are not adding up. How can I help her out, and save the relationship?
  5. So, I (19F) started dating my boyfriend (19M) in January of this year. This is my first relationship and this is his third. He broke up with his most recent high school girlfriend due to distance and going in different directions for college, etc. (college stuff) in September 2020. Him and his girlfriend dated for a little over a year. I can’t stop thinking about his ex and I’m trying to stop. He’s even reassured me and I trust him, but it doesn’t help that they still kinda stay in contact and have the same friends lol :/. However, whenever I was stalking his Instagram (which I know we all have done before!), I noticed a picture where she was wearing his chain when they were dating. This made me uncomfortable because it made me feel like it was a hand-me-down and kind of not as special. I expressed this to him and told him I appreciated it, but it made me feel weird. Am I overreacting or is that completely rational and normal? I feel naked without it now and I liked having something to help me remind of him since we are now long distance for summer. Also, since i’m planning on giving it back to him when I go visit in a couple weeks (unless someone on here tells me i should keep it), I want to put a charm or something on it with my name on it to remind him of me, but again, the ex have him something to put on his chain when they were together... is that me just being silly? Please help!!!
  6. So, in one of my previous posts, I expressed how my boyfriend (19M) gave me (19F) his chain to wear to keep him with me and stuff while we do long distance, and then I found out his ex wore his chain, too, which made me uncomfortable. So, I am going to give it back to him, but I kind of want something else to remember him by now since I'm no longer wearing his chain- I literally feel naked now without it... I never took it off and I legit fell asleep holding the cross in my hand... I'm trying to find a way to tell to him that I want him to get me something FOR ME, more personal you know? ... NOTHING BIG!!! I literally went on ebay and saw these $15 customizable necklaces *wink* *wink* Is it bad to ask for something straight up or is hinting the way to go? Especially since I want it to be sincere... should I just wait and see if he gets me something? :) thank ya!
  7. My boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) are now long distance due to going home for summer. We are used to not texting each other pretty much all day because we know we will see each other the next day in class, but now that we’re long distance, that isn’t working for me. I expressed to him that he needs to text me more or something because I get a text from him at 5pm and then we ft for a couple hours at night. I want to hear from him more in the day, so I told him that I would like him to text me in the morning. I do text first, A LOT, and if I don’t, I get the text at 5pm. Am I overrating? I don’t think I am because we are now long distance and I can’t just say “see you tomorrow,” it’s now, “see you in a couple weeks.” Whenever I have brought this up to him, he just brushes me off kind of or says that I’m saying he’s a bad boyfriend and not trying (which I’m not! I just want him to text me more! is that too much to ask ???) and says “so you want to text all day and then facetime for 5 hours at night?” and I’m like no, I never said that. But then, he says he’ll try harder. I feel like I shouldn’t be asking him to text me, I feel like it should be a given. If he wanted to text me, he would, so? He also says he’s really giving 100%, and I believe him, but his 100% cannot be the same as it was in school, things are different now. He also kind of has this high school relationship mindset where a relationship should come with no problems and if there are problems then he gets upset or doesn’t really want to hear it. I’ve told him that i’m not close to breaking up yet, not even close, but if this continues the whole damn summer, then it’ll be too hard.... So, Help! Please! PS I don’t think he’s hiding anything from me or anything, I just wanna communicate with him more during the day. also i have some lowkey trust/abandonment issues because as a child i was abandoned then adopted so im going see someone about that lol but that is a factor i think
  8. So me (34) and my girlfriend (26) are 11 months into our relationship and things were amazing up until January when the 3rd lockdown began. To add some context to the situation I was happy with how everything was panning out and we both were extremely happy, but I had my guard up from day one, and was very careful not to let myself get carried away with her because I really didn't want to mess it up. I live with my parents (currently waiting for the keys to a house I have bought)and she lives with hers. We've talked about her moving in with me when I get the new house up and running and all was fine, we'd talked about how she would still save up for her own house to buy, to either do up and rent or sell, but essentially I wanted her to have that independence and feeling of achievement I'm having with buying your own house... obviously if things went well, we would merge our assets at some point and go from there... anyways, her parents are very strict and have been quite hard on her over lockdown, especially when it came to us seeing one another, they basically said, no, we have to stick to the rules. She's been threatened with being kicked out for minor things in the past so we carried on the relationship but only by seeing each other once or twice a week for a walk. Before lockdown she was the perfect girlfriend, caring, attentive, always putting me first, kind and most of all my family absolutely adore her! But I put up walls and said if her parents won't let her come round to mine (which I know was wrong at the time, but my parents knew how important it was to us that we carried on seeing each other privately and they were fine with it) then we should honour that to stop them giving her a hard time and making things even worse for her. We both have a history of anxiety, she reacts to it alot worse than I do but we have always helped each other, been completely honest and really just had an amazing connection together. Fast forward 5 months and we are now in a situation where we've become distant, like we've drifted apart. We still see each other for walks but she's really hesitant to spend any quiet time together where it is just me and her. I.e. not outside in public. We've discussed breaking up (which is a really hard thing to do in life, and I'm proud we can communicate that way) and told each other how we feel, and the conclusion is we still love each other and we want to work on things to see if we can get that deeper connection back, or the spark, back in our lives... My only worry is, how can we do that? With everything that is happening in the world, we are very restricted on what we can do together. We've got a date planned this weekend, and we're spending the day together on Sunday, but it's going to be no different to what it's been like for the past 5 months and I'm worried it's not going to remind her of what she wants to feel for me (I've had a sudden realisation of how important she is to me and how much I do love her, ive come clean about the walls I put up and told her I want a future together) I'm just looking for advice, from women especially, on coming back together after you've drifted apart... I apologise if this doesn't have much context but it's basically the backbone of my situation and its got to a point where I'd do anything to give us the best chance of maybe actually experiencing a relationship together where we aren't bound by lockdown rules or living with our parents. Also, I know once I get this house, things will be alot easier because we will have our own space and be able to experience day to day life together......And im aware this also could be the answer to the question I'm asking 😅 Any experiences to give me a little light in this very confusing maze we seem to be in now would be amazing. Thank you
  9. I've been in my relationship for 7 years and help raised a child,(now at age 9),my girlfriends ex just recently got out of prison after 9 years,my gf is now in touch with him by means of visiting, texting and hiding this from me,I found out about it and confronted her with proof and she denied all,I'm 56 of age,to old to deal with b/s and lies, any helpful advice would be appreciated
  10. Hey all, I'm writing so as to get some advice. I'll try to make this as short as possible. I met my "ex" (we didn't get to call ourselves bf/gf) about two years ago. We work together and it took us a while to hook up. She was in a relationship were she was being heavily manipulated and it took her a long while and a lot of therapy to finally get herself rid from her ex. Once this relationship was over, we started going out. We dated for around 6 months and everything was going perfect. Out of the blue, she told me she wanted to talk with me and explained that she liked everything about me but that she felt that after her previous relationship she didn't have time for herself. We discussed about what the best course of action could be, she mentioned she was not feeling right to be in a relationship with me but she wasn't sure that she wanted to break up either. I offered her to take some time apart but she didn't feel that was right since she would feel guilty if she felt I was waiting for her to give me some kind of feedback, as she wasn't exactly sure about how she was feeling. I suggested we break up and that was it. It was amicable and I went straight into LC (meaning I'll only talk work with her or discuss whatever topic is at hand whenever we have lunch with the team; we do have lunch together every weekday). After the break up I was devastated but pulled the little energy I had to make it seem in our lunches as if I was OK. The first few weeks she'd try to fight with me about anything and I would just divert the talking to anything else to avoid confrontation. When we broke up, she did mention I was no regular guy and that said she was doing everything so as to take care of the relationship we had; she didn't want to ruin it because of her doubts. Her attitude these first two weeks was very contradictory. Moving forward, the relationship got better and she stopped trying to pick fights with me. At around the 4th week mark, I called her and just asked how she was feeling about the whole break up thing and did mention that it had been a rough time for me as she had given me no clear reason to break up in first place. I did ask her to break my heart if she had to and be honest, be it she didn't like me anymore, had no more feelings or anything. She denied everything and mentioned that she did have feelings for me, she did like me and would have a great time with me, but that she felt that we were ready to be bf/gf and she was not yet ready for that, as her previous experience had been too rough and was just not ready to start a new relationship. I said it was OK and thanked her for the time to talk, went straight back to the same LC I previously mentioned. That was 2 weeks ago. Everything went on fine and I've started to feel better myself, I think it might actually be showing since I'm in a better mood generally speaking and doing fine. However, what's killing me right now is that for the past 3 days she's been trying really hard to avoid me. Not just that, she's trying to make me notice that she's avoiding me. We'll be in meeting rooms where there's just 3 of us and she will just rotate her chair and make me face her back. She is now trying to contradict what I say again and it's becoming a pain. I'm trying to keep everything as professional as possible as that's the right thing to do. While I'm focused in moving on, this is also a relationship I don't want to completely discard and make moves that might push her far away. I'm not exactly sure how to proceed. Shall I ignore her bad attitude as I'm doing and show indifference? Shall I confront her about it? Why might she be behaving in this way towards me? Just in case you even think about it, I did not beg, cry, became needy or anything. I've learnt this from my past relationship and refrained from doing anything of the sort even though my brain wanted me to do so.
  11. Me and my girlfriend have been going through a rough patch at the moment due to me developing health anxiety and minor depression and it has really taken a toll on us but she stuck with me through it all, I noticed a distance in her and we discussed and sorted it all out and we were on the road to being happy again. Last night I had an opportunity to read her messages as I knew she'd been texting a guy she slept with a long time ago (I know I shouldn't have gone through her phone but I was drunk and my anxiety got the better of me) there were some flirty texts there and I noticed when she wasn't replying or talking to me she had been chatting away to this guy in massive paragraphs and cheeky flirty messages such as talking about what she was wearing to an Ann summers party and saying she wished she was with him when he mentioned he wished she was there. I brought it up to her and she said it meant nothing and that was the way her and this guy had always talked to eachother, she acknowledged it was flirty and apologised saying she would cut all contact with him to which I said I don't want her to do that as I don't want to be the reason she loses a friend. Since this happened she has told me she thought nothing of what was said and she loves me and wants to do anything to make it up to me that she can and that the shady buisness stops here or our relationship does. The question is do I forgive her, I understand why she was pushed away due to our relationship troubles but I thought we were getting better, I'm just a bit confused and need someone to advise me on if I should end it now or forgive her and move on, If I trust her when she says nothing was going to come out it and she will never do it again I open myself up to being a pushover and it happening again and in my current head state I dont think I can do this again, somebody please help
  12. Hi all if you’ve read my last post a couple of months ago I was concerned about the relationship my boyfriends family has with his ex girlfriend. We are now 11 months into our relationship and I have still yet to meet the family. I’ve met all of his close friends though. Recently I brought it up to him again. He said i haven’t met them yet because I’m his last relationship, he felt his ex was too close to them and used to tell them things about their relationship. He said it bothered him that she would reach out to them even after they have broken up. I’m like ok but I’m not your ex! I asked when’s the last time he’s spoken to this ex. He said a year ago because she reached out to him for some information. He then assured me that he has no feelings at all whatsoever for this ex. He broke up with her and he believes she’s still the one who’s not over him. What should I do in this situation.
  13. MY boyfriend and I are perfect. I have never felt so strongly about and so connected to someone like him. The first few months of us "talking", I knew he was talking to and hooking up with other people, as I, stayed loyal. Ever since we became boyfriend and girlfriend, almost a year now, he has treated me like I have never imagined. He would do absolutely anything in the world for me and would never hurt me- I can tell. But, we have this little problem that I cause... When I drink, I become so incredibly mean. In the beginning of our relationship, this never happened. But over the past few months, I turn into a monster when I become intoxicated. I say the cruelest things, and even get violent towards him. He will tell me the things I say to him, and I sit back and just think that there is no possible way I could ever say or feel those ways towards him. I have never felt resentment towards him, but when I drink something happens to me and I become such a hateful person towards him. Just want to hear what people think about this, what I should do, or if you even have the same problem as me. Thanks for listening.
  14. Hey Everyone...thanks for reading my post... Haven't been on here in a few months..Some of you might remember me.. Ok..here goes.... I met this girl 2 weeks ago and we have been on 3 dates so far...Each date has been great....we got along emotionally and physically extremely well. The first date we both knew we were physically attracted to each other in the fact that we had alot of touching and such and ended up making out for a long time and chatted for hours. The second date was the same...had a few drinks, ate some good food and enjoyed each other's company and by the end of the night we ended up sleeping with each other,,,,not once but twice...Anyways we had a great time...Then tonight was the same...hung out, ate dinner, listened to music and then we ended up having sex again which was great. Afterwards we did the usual cuddling and holding of hands and givinglittle kisses and such but then in the middle of all of that she ends up tellling me out of the blue that she is "Not girlfriend" material...??? I kinda didn't know what to say at that point but ended saying..." sure if that'show you feel ?..Mind you ...prior to that there was no relationship talk whatsoever between us we were basically new with each other at dating and going with the flow and BANG she says that.. Don't get me wrong...I'm not looking for anything serious really quickly but I actually ended up really liking this girl so far and the funny thing is that she is coming over to my house Saturday night because I am making her dinner and we are going to watch a movie and stuff... So the question is...should I pursue this any further with this girl if I know now that I kinda like her more than just "Friends" and she told me what she told me tonight ?... I'm wondering if she is serious or just scared of any type of relationship at the moment ? Any insight on this would be much appreciated.. thanks !
  15. Hi, I met with a girl who broke up with a guy a few years ago while she was engaged. She was refusing to talk to other guys and saying she is not ready for a serious relationship but she accepted to speak to me to get to know each other. She had a good reference about me from her family and friends. Everything went well first week, she was engaged and writing me back long messages. However, I thought she was losing interest and I was very passionate to get to know her and I felt like she is the right person so I told her that I’m thinking serious about this relationship and would like to have a long term happy relationship. She said that this message was very heavy for her and she hasn’t thought about a relationship for a long time. We messaged each other a few more days and then she said she is not ready to commit a relationship and she doesn’t think that this will lead more than a friendship and she doesn’t want to give me hope. I really want to get to know her as I feel like she is the right person. What do you guys think I should do? Do you think she is really not ready or she doesn’t like me? Thank you in advance
  16. I ve just got a vibrator form my boyfriend (we have been dating for 6 months) I felt strange, since I wished for a more romantic gift... I ve never even used a vibrator before.... I am curious why the hell would a guy buy a vibrator for his girlfriend??? I always had the feeling that he is just after sex in this relationship, but now this present somehow "insulted" me... I don t know what to think... Plus this is his first present for me... What do you think guys? Would you buy such thing to someone you real care about??? As a first gift? Thanks!
  17. My girlfriend and I have been having sex for about 5 months now and it seems like we can't have sex the next day after we've already had sex. It's simply too painful for her. If we wait about a week before we have sex then she's usually pain-free on the first round. We usually go at least 2-3 rounds in one night (within 1-4 hours). On the second round she begins to feel sore and depending on the severity of her soreness we can go one more round or not. The next day, if we attempt to have sex, it hurts her from the get-go. We use Astroglide, but it still hurts her. She says it feels like she has a cut inside, but she's been checked and had test run by her gynecologist and her doctor told her that there is nothing wrong with my gf. Her doctor even suggested that the pain may be a result of me being uncircumcised, but after conducting more research and consulting with my own doctor, we ruled that THAT was not the reason. Could it be possible that this is simply a result of her being sore and not being able to have sex more than 1 consecutive day? I'm curious whether there are any women out there who are unable to have sex the next day after having had rough sex the day before. It seems like if we wait one day in between, she's able to recover and have sex without pain. I feel like my gf and I are the only couple experiencing this at the moment. Any input is greatly appreciated. Thanks
  18. Hey y'all. I need some advice on how to deal with my current "relationship" with my boss. I've known him since December of last year, where I started working at my current job, which is probably the best job I've had so far. He's not the head manager, but he's right below that position, along with four other people. He's been with the company since it first started, and everyone who works there likes him because he has such a friendly, funny, and laidback personality, but is still professional at the same time. I've always liked him more so than the other managers, but only until recently had we started to joke around more and become friendlier with each other. There's a 17 year age gap between us (he’s 38, I’m 21), and I've known for a while that he has a girlfriend whom he's been going out with for about three years (I asked him about her casually on Valentine's Day this year, and he said that this year they would be celebrating their third anniversary). Anyways, just a few weeks ago, we had been texting each other, and then one night, while he was giving me a ride home, we went out for drinks at this really nice restaurant (which I didn't know at the time), all of which he suggested. We had a great time, although I felt kinda “off” about it since I wasn't entirely sure if this was work-appropriate, and the server was giving us strange looks as well (probably trying to figure out if we were bf/gf or father/daughter, etc., haha). While on the way home, I was already a bit tipsy, and leaned on his shoulder as he drove. He then rubbed my shoulders with his free hand, and then later on, when we were at my front door, we hugged each other really tight for a long time. After that night, we were texting each other throughout the work day, and then eventually, we started sending suggestive text messages. I soon responded with an *extremely* racy text. That caused him to say that he wanted to see me that night, which he did, driving all the way from his house to mine. We then proceeded to have sex in his car that night, which was an intensely pleasurable experience for both of us, probably heightened by the fact that he's my superior at work, is taken, and is a bit older than me. Ever since then, we've been meeting up either after work to have sex with each other, or even during work, when we have to run upstairs to a separate room to get more merchandise, we sneak into areas where there's no cameras and make out or touch each other, all short of actual sex. I'm not sure how to deal with this, as this is the first time I've engaged in this sort of "forbidden" relationship (I thought this only existed in t.v., books, movies, etc.). None of my close friends have ever been in this situation, and since I'm the most experienced out of them all (I've had one other boyfriend, who I'm not with anymore, and was sexually active with), I can't really ask any of them for help with this. We're both striving to keep this a secret between us two from anyone else at work, as we could both get instantly fired. I think that some of my co-workers suspect that there's something going on between us two, but they can't prove anything and just joke about us. The issues that bother me a lot are (1) he *currently* has a girlfriend, which makes me question how he could be having this type of relationship with me at the same time that he's dating her, and (2) I'm afraid of developing feelings for him, as we both know that we don't want to go out with each other or even if a stable, long-term relationship could form from this. He's very reluctant to talk about his girlfriend when I ask him, so I've stopped asking him about her. How should I proceed from here on out? I *do* enjoy the sex quite a bit, and I've been anxious for some sexual release for a while, but I know deep down that my current dalliance with my boss won't last forever, nor is it healthy (for both me, and for him and his gf's relationship). At the moment I’m single, but I would like to have a stable, long-term relationship eventually...
  19. We have been sleeping together for three years. For a year now he has asking me if I am in love with him and I said no every time. Several times he accidentally said he loves me(I mean on purpose to see my reaction)but I did not answer anything so ce corrected himself. Two months ago he asked me again if I love him, I said yes. He was suspicious but he also said he loves me. That I am his love. He kept asking me why I did not want to be his girlfriend, to be in a relationship. We saw each other one night, we drank a couple of drinks. He told me he loves me. While we were together he asked me if I wanted to get pregnant, to be his wife, I did not answer him anything. He asked me a copule of times to be his wife. He asked me do I only love sex with him or do I love him, I said both. The next time we saw each other, he asked me if I want to have a child, I said I was not ready. After that, he was colder towards me. Last time we saw each other, I joked how he is busy becuse of job, he said he do not have time to have a girlfriend. He said that one girl maybe will be his girlfriend. I aksed him why he told me he loves me if he wants to be with another girl. And he said that I am not serious (serious about him) that I do not call him, and that he loves me as a person. Where did that change come from ? Why is he telling me about another girl ? He does not want anything to do with me anymore ? He lied about loving me ?
  20. My girlfriend has been talking to an old friend of hers as she claims. The messages are very flirty and he thinks I'm just her baby daddy. She went to the bar with her sister the other day and I found out that afterthe bar, her and another friend went to a fire at his place, her and my girlfriend ended up in this guys room. He then decided to bang the one while trying to get his hands down my girlfriend's pants who then claims to have left. I feel the situation is in appropriate considering we have a child. She thinks I'm crazy for being upset. She didn't tell me any of this I was shown the messages she sent to her sister. Until I told her I seen the messages she tried to claim she was at the bar until 4am it's illegal to serve alcohol after 2am here. How should I feel ?
  21. We are almost three years into our relationship. She was my first sexual partner whilst she had had multiple (but none long-term). The first 1.5 years or so were great sex-wise. After that her appetite gradually deteriorated to now being at a point where she has absolutely no appetite for sex in any form. When we have had sex, it’s very clear she’s not into it. And when we don’t, I get frustrated (and she can tell). I’d say my sex drive is pretty average, whatever that means (I masturbate maybe 3 times a week, and would be happy with sex once a week). Every other aspect of our relationship is basically perfect, but this is increasingly becoming a big issue. At first we tried making things a little more interesting in the bedroom which helped a bit in the short term. We talk about the issue, but it’s becoming hard to have a productive conversation when we are now so far apart in how we feel. And she is definitely fed up of the conversation (no doubt that talking about it is one thing that’s contributed to her lower libido). She insists it’s not about how attracted she is to me - she just doesn’t have any sexual desire anymore. She’s been to the doctors and there isn’t anything physical that’s likely to be the issue. And there’s nothing suggesting that she’s depressed. She’s been referred to a psycho-sexual therapist, but the waiting list for that is a few months - and as it stands it’s very possible we’ll have no sex at all for that time. I’m obviously willing to wait, but am worried about putting a lot of pressure on that process to fix things. We moved in together a few months ago, and her sexual appetite seemed to diminish more quickly after that. She’s recently started a busy new job, which I’m sure also hasn’t helped. But this was an issue before that as well, and even when we have a few days where she isn’t working, things aren’t any different. I’m all out of ideas and feeling pretty down about it all, and she’s sick of talking about it anyway. What can I/we/she do?
  22. Hello all, Background: I have a 5 year old son who is my adopted son. When he was born I thought he was mine and I coparented for 3 years. During that 3rd year I got a DNA test done out of curiosity. He was not mine, but I love him too much to abandon him. Hes my son and I want to be in his life. 19 days ago my ex dumped me out of the blue with her reasoning being because "she doesnt want to be a step mom to a child thats not mine." We dated for 10 months, its not that long but for me I was ready to marry her. I was going to propose to her in May before my graduation. I have a ring and everything and this is blowing my mind right now. I cry everyday on the thought of her. My ex, has known about my son from day 1. We have had mulitple conversations about how my son would fit in our life. We discussed if he might live with us if I wanted a better life for him. We even dicussed how she felt and what she didnt like it but respected I was still in his life. Thats why this doesnt make sense to me. A week before she dumped me, she meet my son for first time which she says caused her to rethink the situation and what she wants. First, my ex deserves whatever she wants in life. its her life. I will not self impose my beliefs or wants for her. Her happiness is her own. If she doesnt want to be with a man with a child. Thats her right but my issue with this is how can these issue pop up 10 months LATER. We spoke everyday. We talked everyday. We spent so much time together. She old me she'd never leave me a week before she dumped me. She said I was her best friend all the time. She told me I was her soul mate and that our souls will always find each other in past lives. She told me all the time how I was the sweetest caring man in the world and how she was so lucky to have me and that I was everything she ever wanted in a man. How could someone who I trusted and loved abandon me so quickly. If she never wanted to date a man with a child why let it go 10 months with me thinking I was going to spend my life with her. We had talked of marriage. We talked about kids. We talked about moving in together this summer and start our life together. The day before this all started she kissed me and told me she loved me and was all over me. I am just thrown in a maze of emotions right now. Why tell me shes going to have my children and were going to raise them to be amazing kids but leave? Why subject me with all the love and support and encouragement I ever recieved in a relationship and then be gone like nothing happened? I know I should move on. I know its the best thing for me but this is the first connection I ever had with a woman. The first time I ever wanted to marry a woman. I told her I wanted to go to the court house in August 2020 and she said she was ready but we didnt because I decided she deserved a bigger wedding. It was my fault we didnt get married ove summer. She was ready to marry me in August. How can she just leave me like this right now? The day before she broke up with me she sends a text first thing in morning stating "I cringe every time you mention your son." She goes on to say how she would be mean to my son. She would get into fights with her his mom. She even said "I dont know if I'll ever be able to love your son". Last thing she said "that day was shes just letting me know how she feels. Shes not breaking up with me". She states shes has abandoment issues because her dad left her before she was born and she doesnt want me to abandon her or make her feel unimportant because of my son. I would have never dont that to her. I would do anything to be with her! I would never put my son over her. I know in marriage wife comes first. I would give my last dollar or cut off my leg for her. I didnt get my son plenty of times bcause I was spending time with her bc I was focused on creating a connection and bond for marriage. I dont understand why she didnt even want to work on this issue. We could grown and worked thru these issues she had. She even stated before that shes broken up with dudes for no reason. That she always causes the break up. That she leaves bc shes scared in relationships bc she doesnt feel worthy enough. But We could have gone to therapy about her feelings and these issues, but she just left me with the coldest and meanest face I have ever seen her give to me. I was so hurt. When she dumped me she said "If I asked you choose *blank* or me who do you pick? " I said Im not picking anyone over anyone. But Im not abandoning him. Hes my son. I love him. I still pick you bc I love you. You are always be first to me though. "Well you made your choice. Its over. I deserve better then to be a step mom..." when she said that I started to cry. Last thing she said to me was, "Dont block me just yet, my period still hasnt came." I lost it then. I hung up the facetime call. I started to crying more and instantly went to facebook to unfriend her. She had already unfriended me. She had planned on breaking up with me before I even got on facetime with her. I feel betrayed. All my trust and love I had in her is gone. I wanted a life with her and she didnt with me. I just feel so worthless right now. Any advice...Please. Thank you
  23. I am very conflicted. My bestfriend’s boyfriend, who happens to be my very close friend, has been doing sketchy things behind her back. He doesn’t know I know. But he’s been asking many people of our friend group to have sex with him. He even asked some people if he could have treesomes with them (him, and two other friends of his gf)! He even has resorted to caress their legs and such in public while he’s with my bestfriend(his girlfriend). What do i dooooooo? Fyi, everyone he’s approached with this is close friends with his girlfriend, wayy before they knew him. Idk what to do. Because i feel like it’s cheating but its not technically cheating. Me telling would cause me to lose everyone in my life right now. Should I continue to not say anything about what he’s been doing or whaat?
  24. Profile 26 yo, African American Male, 5,10, Athletic Build, interfacial Relationship. Hello Everyone, I'll keep my name anonymous incase the post goes viral. Long story short I'm having some relationship issues. These issues derived in earlier this year with the lost of a Job. I had my own place, and my significant other still lives with her parents (which bums her out from time to time). With the lost of my job I had to give up my apartment, because COVID made unemployment impossible to receive. So, I ended up moving in with her and her parents. Now, initially I thought this all through and felt like this would put a huge strain on the relationship. Therefore, I made sure on several occasions if this would be ok with my partner, because I know how she likes her space. Plus now it would be both of us under her parents roof, which could make her feel trapped. All our conversations went well, and I was reassured over and over again that this would be an opportunity to grow and build while the pressure of bills are low. I moved in all excited, and remember so vividly one special moment when my girlfriend started tearing, and saying things like "I'm so happy you're here with me right now". I'm excited to plan out lives out together. NOW for me she just hit a hot button in my love language board. Now of course things were harder, I was out of work, and she was out of work. So we couldn't do the fun things that made our relationship so passionate. Skipping ahead a few weeks and everything completely changed. AND WE ALMOST BROKE UP. But we communicated out wants enough to make it out of that dark phase. She then finally professed just how much being at home with her parents kills her sexual drive. This stirred many feelings with in me that I'm still trying to process today. At first I was understanding, and started budgeting and forming a plan to get us out from under her parents house. I found work, and started slaving away. I made a savings plan that works and I'm well towards our way of getting out. Now the reason I made this post is because I feel sexually deprived in my relationship. I know for a fact that my girlfriend has lost attraction for me and it's killing me. What makes me more sick is the fact that no matter how much I research I can't seem to comprise of a plan to address this. I know exactly what I want out of this relationship. I want someone who's going to respect me, because I'm very respectful even to people who don't deserve it. I want words of affirmation, I've grown to realize that I sometimes crave attention. I feel like I try to be the best me that I can be for the sake of being mentioned. I want to be love respected and valued. Anyway moving on, yada yada. I love this girl right. And she implies that when we get out this house. Our relationship will be in a much healthier state. I trust my girlfriend, and truly believe my self that having our place will be beneficial for the both of us. I'm not grinding 56 hours a week and studying just to have sex more with my girlfriend no. But I also don't want to get to a point where I putting fourth all this effort for someone who doesn't even see's me as a romantic partner. I mean honestly we've ed with her Dad right above us no problem. But now all of a sudden it " turns you off?" Look I just want to know if I should A. Tell my girlfriend how I feel and see if we can compromise on something sexual. Maybe a hotel get away once a month or a spa thing. Maybe rent a car, and along side a beach. You know outside the house so if feels less...restricting. Or B. Just mirror her actions, you know pretend like I don't hear her. Or maybe say no the next time she asks me to rub her feet or her back. I can stop trying to make eye contact with her, seem less interested. My only concern with that is for one I'd have to be completely faking it because I LOVE THIS WOMAN TO DEATH, and OUUUUUUUUUU I wanna her so bad. I've experienced a time when I felt like she wanted it more than me. Now, maybe we get out of this and everything goes back to the way it is but even better, because we over came a predicament. I've read several things and I feel like I can do one or the other but not both. I honestly don't want to do either. For one my girlfriend hates talking about sex, and I feel like this would just push her away even more. The second one, I feel like I can just stop being a ing YES man all the time, and make her do everything for her self. But for one that would be drastic and would probably do more harm then good. Plus, she's insecure if I lost interest in her I feel like she's question her self and I don't want her to do that. To me she's the most gorgeous thing that graces this earth. So, why not treat her like that feel me? So yah, just let a playa know what I can do to get the woman I love to understand that if we had more sex, it wouldn't negatively impact out relationship.
  25. I literally just wrote this in about ten minutes. It was inspired by a conversation I had with my girlfriend last night at around 4AM. Any feedback is good feedback. Thanks. Also I think my spell check was either off or just not working when I was typing it. I think I got any mistakes but if there still are some that's why. Into this world you came and brought the cold. All these lives together, we were young and we were old. I was waiting up above when down came the snow, I was waiting without you when the Universe let me go. Old souls thrown back into youth, Heaven lies, Hell is truth. Shocked and broken from the tauma of my birth, A lost grieivng spirit wandering alone on this Earth. Blind eyes must learn to see. The solitary one must learn to be. Longing for victory, but knowng defeat, Unable to explain feeling incomplete. Your eyes, like beacons drew me to your side. Your words, like music, left me hypnotized. All those times our paths nearly crossed, All those times we both were lost. For years, so close but so far, And then time stood still, and now here we are. Thrown into this existance from the skies above, Take my hand, no more fear, we know only love.
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