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About Me

  1. So I have an appointment set up tomorrow to do coolsculpting for this double chin I swear just grew in the past two years after my second kid. I'm not going to lie; with two kids, it's been a wash rinse repeat day to day, with very little time for myself. I usually just go with things after some thought, but I'm having second thoughts on coolsculpting. My husband said if I kick start my metabolism, I can get rid of the double chin in a few months with exercise. Is this true, or do I have this chin from age (turned 40 on Monday), and just fat build-up that won't go away with diet and exercise. Thoughts??? Yeah, I know, this is nothing to sweat over about; I just want to know my options. Thanks!
  2. Hey everyone, Not sure if this is an exercise in futility, but I just wanted to comment that as a recent returnee after around a year, I have noticed a significant uptick in what appears to be biased and unwarranted attacks in some of the replies here, including from some longer serving members. This is across several threads as well directed at a variety of OPs and members. I just want to express my disappointment, as when I first discovered this forum I got a lot of positive and constructive feedback, which I really feel helped me. However, I am now reluctant to continue posting or replying as I feel I may open myself to being the recipient of someone else issues (when i definitely have enough of my own to deal with). As I said, this may be futile, but I just wanted to note this in the hope that all contributors will try to remain civil, and try to approach others with both empathy and objectivity (while of course lending the benefit of experience). Much love, T
  3. Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a transition stage in my life at the mo and to cut a long story short I've moved in with my mum for a few months while I get money together for a house deposit and find a decent place. We have always had a strained relationship but it has gotten better in recent years. When I was growing up she was very critical of me and made daily comments about how I looked, especially my weight. I have carried a bit extra for most if my life except for a couple of stages where I lost an extreme amount of weight in extreme ways. I have recently put some weight back on and now fall into the 'overweight category which has made me feel quite bad about myself but she is treating me as if I'm morbidly obese and is making me feel so disgusted with myself and ashamed of what I see when I look in the mirror. I feel myself losing confidence, which I worked so hard to build, and slipping back into old habits like buying diet pills, skipping meals, obsessing over exercise and taking heavy detox drinks etc. I feel so terrible about myself I genuinely feel like a teenager again. Every day these past few weeks she has made negative, nasty digs about how I've "let myself go" and "need to get back on track". I know it sounds silly but I just feel so low right now and every comment from her eats away at my self-esteem a little more. I know parents should challenge you to be your best self but she ignores everything except my appearance and I only ever hear negative words come from her mouth. This can't be right??
  4. So this is embarrassing my iron infusions did take. I misunderstood her when she said levels were still high she was referring to other labs. I saw her this past Monday. I actually gained 3 liters of iron in my blood I had been missing. She’s rechecking the iron to make sure it sticks six months from now. I still feel sick and my joints and fatigue is still really bad! I see primary and endocrinologist and getting a referral too rheumatologist! The hematologist was thinking bone marrow biopsy if my iron depletes in six months. But luckily I don’t have to deal with that right now. I’m trying to walk on the treadmill with my achy joints at a slow pace. Will exercise help? I had my thyroid and parathyroid ruled out. I wish I had an answer to why I’ve gradually been feeling crummy for a year! Well at least my iron is okay. Sorry about that I was confused myself. Lisa
  5. I’m starting my third week of no carbs and no sugar. I’ve been exercising 4 times a week and stayed active every day. The only carbs I eat are from vegetables. I’m a little disappointed that I haven’t lost any weight. I need to lose 10-15 pounds and I’ve seen no change even though I’ve drastically changed my diet and workout routine. Any advice?
  6. My partner (we are a lesbian couple) is 5'7" and 170lbs, used to be an athletic US Marine. She is very self-conscious about her weight gain the past couple years. I tell her I do not care what the scale says, and I am being genuine. I love her just the way she is and just want her to be happy. She frequently talks about wanting to go on a diet and exercise plan, but implies in order for her to go through with it, I have to do it with her. Issue is, I am 5'3" and 108 lbs and don't have much weight to lose. My metabolism is just higher than hers. I have no issue picking up my exercise game because I have been meaning to do that for awhile anyway, but I feel like it is a little unfair to feel pressured into going on a diet with her that I don't necessarily need/might not be good for an already borderline underweight person. But I also want to be as supportive as possible. What should I do? Am I being selfish?
  7. I’m not exactly sure if this is the best place to ask for advice, but It’s one of the only places I know so I’ll just go for it. So to start off, I’m an 18 YO guy and I just started going to the gym about a month ago. At the moment, I’m pretty skinny and still figuring out the gym. While I was doing an exercise, a man who appeared to be about 40ish cane up to me and asked if he could show me a better one. I said of course and he even showed me a few more. He mentioned he could lift more back when he was serving in the army, with my dad being a vet, I decided to ask him a few more questions and he said that he is now working for the FBI. so he seems like a pretty trustworthy cool guy. After he finishes showing me some new workouts, he asked what I was doing at the gym the next day. I told him I planned on doing legs and he said he had some good leg exercises that we should go together. I figured why not so he asked for my number so he could tell me when he was heading out and I thought nothing of it. So today we went, had a very good leg workout and kind of planned a workout for tomorrow. At this point I kinda wanted to back out as he does a more vigorous style of workout than I like so I was already trying to get out of working out with him. Later on though, he texted me “my legs are jello. Gonna go lay out at my friends pool. Wanna come tan.” Should I be alarmed that a middle aged man is asking me to come tan at his friends pool when I met him yesterday? Or am I overthinking it. Do I block the number and leave the gym(I only have 2 weeks before I leave for school) or do I try to go at a different time to dodge him? Any advice is welcome thanks
  8. Okay, I will lose weight. I want to lose 30 before I go to England in September. I'll start with Monday, March 23, 2009 Breakfast Fat-free strawberry banana yogurt: 90Cal, 0g fat, 14Carb, 0Fiber, 8g Protein Fiber One bar: 140Cal, 3g fat, 29Carb, 9g Fiber, 2g Protein Lunch: Brown rice: 170Cal, 2g fat, 34carb, 2g fiber, 4 protein Chicken breast: 140 Cal, 4g fat, 26g protein Dinner Brown rice: 170Cal, 2g fat, 34carb, 2g fiber, 4 protein Chicken breast: 140 Cal, 4g fat, 26g protein Green beans: 88 Cal, 0 fat, 20 carbs, 8g fiber, 4g protein Snack Triscuits(7): 120Cal, 3g fat, 21 carbs, 3g fiber, 3g protein Cheese spread for crackers: 100cal, 8g fat, 4g carbs, 5g protein Activity 50 minutes of Tae Bo Cardio Total 1158 Calories 26g Fat 156 Carbs 24g Fiber 82g Protein
  9. So here's my story. 2.5 years of being with my girlfriend, and one day she just randomly decides that our differences in religion are a problem and breaks up with me. Odd, because I never had a problem with her beliefs, and she never seemed to mind mine. A few days later we reconcile our religious differences and try again, only to fail again a day later, this time for reasons unknown. I of course went the stupid route and tried to persuade her to come back. I sang her a song about us, and devalued myself trying to convince her that we should be together. Fast forward 3 days later. She comes by and picks up an archive of photos of us from my computer. She doesn't give a good reason why she wants them, but she does. It wasn't long (about a day or two) before I ran accross this forum and decided to accept the challenge! So I've been in NC mode for about 2 days thus far. It sucks, but hey I'm up for it. Yesterday there was unintentional contact however. I went to lunch (college), and sat at a table. She noticed me and just stood there staring at me. Not a word left her lips. I only saw her through the corner of my eye, because I didn't want to seem like I wanted her back, and I focused on reading a document I had been reading for the past hour, while listening to my iPod. She must of stood there at least 3 minutes before she left. So I can keep the NC...I've started an exercise program, I'm going to start working on my tan (shouldn't be hard, I'm naturally tan), and I've started taking new activities. I've also started hanging out with another girl, but I don't know if I want to take it to the next level since we've been friends for so long. So guys, I'm on NC now. What do you suggest, and what do you think of that random encounter?
  10. Ok Whats a healthy way to lose weight? I know it is to eat heathly, exercise and etc But when i exercise like with my arm to lose the weight of them i seam to gain more muscles there which causes my brother to call them 'helga arms'. So has anyone got any good ideas?
  11. Not necessarily looking for "advice" as much as ideas. I've read a good number of books since all this started with me and they all pretty much say the same thing: 1) no contact 2) get rid of reminders 3) stay busy 4) pray/meditate 5) exercise 6) get a makeover 7) find a new hobby 8) don't fight your emotions but don't stay stuck in them either 9) vent when you need to Is anyone doing anything other than these that they would like to share? Did it work for you? Are there things you wish you'd done that you think might've worked? Just interested in other ideas. Trying to keep my mind occupied!
  12. Hey everyone, I realize I just posted yesterday but I'd like to use this platform a bit more whenever I'm having an issue. Its really been helpful. This summer was one of the best I've ever lived through, seriously. I lost a load of weight, got to become really good looking, was in great shape, and was just having a great time. When school started, it was a much different story. I found it much harder to keep up with exercising after school, and also just staying in shape.. I remember being 5'6 and about 128 pounds when school started, which seemed like a very good height and weight. Although, I remember a couple months back checking and seeing that I'm 143 pounds and maybe an inch taller. How did this happen? I know how. I stopped eating healthy and didn't exercise as often, sat around longer due to school, and just let myself go. People, including my family, used to tell me how great I looked.. that I lost a load of weight and that I was skinny and should actually eat more. This was music to my ears. It motivated me to keep on going. Now my mother tells me how it looks like I gained some weight, that I looked "heavier" and one of my uncle's has told me this as well. My father, though, said I look the same to him, and other people tell me I'm still thin. Before my weight loss, I was really heavy, though I liked this girl and it motivated me to lose weight. Now I don't know what will motivate me to get back on track. If you could give me some advice on what to do in order to lose more weight long term it would help a lot. I've let myself go as far as dieting and exercising are concerned. Thank you.
  13. I had an uncomfortable experience at a recent medical visit and Im not sure if it was appropriate or if Im being to sensitive about it. I am a 60 year old active male who stays in good shape who likes to exercise walk (cannot run anymore) bike and swim often. I went to a new dermatologist for a complete check up and have a mole on shoulder examined. I had not been seen for skin exam in over 8 years so i was due. my former dermatologist was a male but he left to go to a practice in another state. the new doctor is a woman in her early 60s who I thought would be good since we were close in age and she's been in her field a long time. She was professional but not very friendly and had little bedside manner (all business approach I guess). When she gave me the body scan and viewed my lower half she saw that I remove most (not all) of my hair there and asked me if there is an issue or reason that I keep myself this way. I was shocked felt totally awkward and uncomfortable. I told her I am active I swim often and feel better with that area as it is. She was blunt and simply said she doesn't recommend that I shave that area anymore because it could cause other hygiene issues. I said ok because I was to embarrassed to say anything else. Ive never heard this before and don't want to ask anyone in person because of the personal and embarrassing nature of it. but more so was she appropriate to ask me such a thing was it within her professional examination or was it an opinion she didn't have to tell me because it made me feel ridiculous. I want to change doctors but is it me over thinking it and being sensitive or was she inappropriate? Any input or advice is appreciate!
  14. I just got ghosted from a 9-month relationship with a woman I deeply loved...it has been hard on me. I went to a therapist and was diagnosed as codependant - which I agree with. One of the exercises the therapist had me perform was to create a list of what I didn't like about the girl, and another list of why it was good to be rid of her - I was shocked about how bad she really was for me! Alchoholic, addicted to weed, her kids didnt like me, etc. So I now know she was the wrong person for me and brought nothing but drama, negativity, and pain into my life. But she keeps popping into my head, and I get a little endorphin rush when it happens. I then start to think immediately of how to contact her - but can't. It's irrational, obsessive, and anguishing. I am now alone and can not stop the thoughts from popping in - and I dream about her too which makes it worse! Can anyone give me some techniques to help this cycle to stop?
  15. So I'm sitting at Paneras when a man and woman sit next to me. The man announces to the woman that as of today, he's lost 35 pounds in 10 weeks from exercise alone, but now he's going to start eliminating calories and the weight should really come off then. He then took a bite of his Salad. What did the lady say in response? I'm paraphrasing but this is close....She told him that at age 48, the damage to his heart has already been done, that the plaque on his arteries isn't going anywhere and it's been building up for the past 25 years of his life as an obese person. And how making changes now is better than never, but his chances of having a heart attack are still very high even if he gets down to 90 pounds because of the damage that has been done. He was speechless, literally. He put his head down and they were both quiet for the remainder of dinner. 😟😟😟
  16. I just wanna talk about this because it's horrible. I took some antibiotics had a pretty bad reaction to. I thought my ex gave me an STD because even though we were broken up we were still having sex but he said he only received a blow job. But I looked up only and I thought I had herpes(even though I had no bumps and I went on a health forum and they told me it could be it). So anxiety was through the roof and it made me have a really bad flare it a really bad one (I have lupus). For the last year all of my test have come back normal. So then why does my vagina burn almost every day? Why does it randomly start to hurt? Why can't I sit? Why does it hurt more when I sit in a car? In the end they slapped me with the label Vulvodynia and Dysuria. Why because they don't know what's going on I feel like the doctors don't even believe me anymore because my vagina not inflamed or there are no lesions one of the doctors that I went to told me to do KEGAL EXERCISES. Really Kegal exercises is going to cure my burning vagina?! I don't even know when I have a yeast infection anymore because it feels like I have one all the time So apparently the antibiotics I took injured some of my nerve endings( the lupus flare up didn't help either) because I was on them for too long. This never makes me want to take antibiotics again. I have always had depression and this just isn't helping it. I just sleep for more than 15 hr a day because I don't want to have to wake up and deal with it. I feel like the more medication I take it gets worse. It like my vagina is so sensitive that even my pee makes it hurt or just sweat or just water or just anything you know the white stuff that comes out.
  17. Hello All, I am new here and this is my first post. My sister is getting married in June and a lot of my family has not seen me for 6 years. In that time, I managed to gain 50 pounds and I look totally different than before. I am not happy with my appearance because I don't feel like I look as good as before. I was wondering if you thought that it is possible for me to loose 50 lbs by her wedding? I currently weigh around 220-225. I have already started, since 3 days ago, a diet but I am not sure if I am doing it right. I cut out all soda and only drink water, tea, and coffee. I replaced all my pasta's and breads with whole grain and wheat. So far I have been eating tuna, wheat sandwhiches, tangerines, and plums. I started to exercise again and jogged 10 minutes last night. (that is all I could handle) Am I on the right path? Any suggestions? Thanks
  18. Dear Strangers on the Internet, I date rarely. But when I date, I find the responsibility of planning the date to be a very stressful thing. This is not because I think that a good date necessarily requires elaborate planning but because (I hereby diagnose myself) I have not developed the habits required for planning good dates. Now, since I have very few opportunities to date, I would like to find a way to develop some of these habits apart from dating. This is not to say that I would not also like to develop the habits while dating. It’s just that I would like to be able to work on the habit even if I don’t have anyone I can date at the time. I would like to do this in some way that is both enjoyable in itself and doesn’t take up all of my time. (I have a certain flexibility in my schedule but the number of free hours is relatively small.) It might be nice to have some things I could do alone, and some that I could do with a friend. I don’t know what I am imagining exactly. Perhaps it is enjoyable to go stargazing. Perhaps this is also romantic. I don’t know. A couple additional notes: You might be thinking, “Tom the Fool is just asking how to relax and enjoy life.” You might be right. You might be thinking, “Look, planning a good date isn’t hard. Just go online and search for ….” But this seems to be missing the point. I am well aware that the Internet has plenty of advice to give. But I need to be able to exercise judgment about what advice to follow, given my particular circumstances. And that only comes from experience. And I lack experience. Any suggestions? Many Thanks, Tom the Fool
  19. hello, idk how to properly start, i just really need to rant right now stuck in quarantine, I have to do college thru online meetings and unfortunately im doing it from home, with my family. which doesnt necessarily unsupportive, BUT this house dynamic just went banana when I'm home. I mean, basically I've never stay at home more than a month (because I study in other city) and now its almost 6months, I really feel like this house is full of people who needs therapy. my mom lash out everytime i do OR dont do chores. If I do, it never meets her 'standards' if I dont, she questions my purpose on living. Even more, she just goes to TELL ME TO PRAY TO GOD. my dad just straight up being needy all the time, i mean i know he's a piece of trash and im gonna ditch him as soon as I get outta this house, but damn it becomes more and more unbearable, its like he completely disregard that I am a human being with a mind, he almost treats me like im a ing robot who he can just call and tell me to do things for him. my sister got even worse, she lives with my parents unlike me, and she believe that I have to make up for the time I never been home by DOING HER DUTY of house chores bcs "i'm tired doing chores when youre not home so now you do everything" and for the cherry on top we cant avoid each other bcs we share bedroom (i dont have my own room- they never give me since our house got renovated at the same time im going away for study) I really tried, I really do, to just keep up with the pace and . but it never make sense to me, and doing things that doesnt make sense really ruin my mental state, significantly. my class is gonna resume in about a month and if this keeps up i dont think i can manage to use my brain properly for my academic. is there anything i can really do to stay 'a bigger person' without sacrificing anything like, i really start to believe that trying to change these people behavior wont do bcs 1) old people cant change 2) will be very mental consuming for me anyway. i've been keeping up with breathing exercise or if I'm really stressed out i just went to porn straight away. thank you for reading if you reach this part, really appreciate this forum for enabling me to let things out.
  20. I didn't find out about "height loss" until recently. We all shrink from a half an inch to over an inch daily. And after reaching age 40, we shrink around a half an inch per decade from aging. It's more after age 60. What i also recently discovered, is somewhat bothersome. I'm tallest standing on my right leg. On my left leg, I'm about 3/8 of an inch shorter. Should humans height be measured standing on both legs? It's not going to be correct or equal. Use your heels. It should be closer to your left leg than your right leg. The discrepancy is probably because of your heart or possibly because your left handed or right handed. Your tallest after waking up. As the day progresses, your height will decrease from pressure put on your back. Before going to bed, your height will be significantly shorter than after waking up. It happens daily. During sleep, your body regains it's normal height. After waking up, my height is 5 feet 6 and half inches. Before going to bed, it is around 5 feet 5 and 3/4 inches. That's 3/4 of an inch height decrease which is normal. I'm 60 years old. Height decrease supposedly increases at this age. There are several ways of measuring your height. It's important to measure your height after waking up and also just on your left leg and right leg. Your correct tallest height should be on your right leg. However, since your right leg is longer, your height measured standing on both legs, will be closer to the length of your left leg which is awkward. Stretch exercises may prevent height decrease. As for weight lifting, you may want to avoid it, if you want to stop height decrease. Lifting weight is not good for your back. If your in your 40's and older, instead of weight lifting, do stretch exercises. They may prevent height decrease. You want to expand out. Not down. What does lifting weights do? The added weight, will decrease your height as well as strengthen your muscles.
  21. As someone who has battled with anxiety and depression for a few years, I have come to find that one of the most effective management tactics I can take on is trigger reduction. However while cutting down on drugs, and alcohol and establishing healthy sleeping and exercise schedules has been easy, one trigger I’m having trouble managing is other anxious/depressed people in my life that call on me for validation of their unhealthy coping methods. So my question is: how can I keep these people in my life without drowning myself in the process?
  22. I'm already really fit, I exercise 8.5 hours a week. 1 hour 15 mins of taekwondo on Tues and Thurs, 4 hours of badminton on Sat, and 2 hours of badminton on Sunday. I exercise so much that I'm sore almost 24/7. But I am not losing weight or burning fat?? I am also eating at a calorie deficit but it has been almost a month, and I see no change. Am I doing something wrong?
  23. As a guy I really shouldn't worry about things like this. But my facial skin looks bad for someone my age. It looks really beaten and worn out, not to mention I have bags under my eyes which I've had since my early teens. It makes me feel really self conscious about my looks. In my teens, I developed horrible acne for years & that's when my face started to look bad. I suffer from dry skin and my face is discolored, filled with dents,scars and 3 different pigment tones. Now that I'm in my 20's the acne has died down but my face still looks like a train wreck.. However this doesn't stop me from attracting people however my confidence is extremely low. I think if my skin looked better, I'd feel a lot confident in myself. I can't afford going to a derm. I've tried lots of cream and various things but nothing seems to work. Do you think vigorous exercise can help my skin.
  24. Hi all, Divorces and break ups happens in 1001 different ways. But understanding some parts of a Break up seems to help the healing proces. Instead of understanding, "experiencing" the break up with the help of exercises would be very helpfull. Writing down, Visualisation etc Any other members have learned exercises to heal from a break up? Would be nice if it will be shared here. Kr,
  25. Hi. I was once a regular contributor here. I originally joined in 2009. I've posted thousands of times, I think, just not lately. Look me up, I dare you. Like lots of people here, I had a broken relationship when I joined. But unlike most, mine was truly long term: 19 years. You read right. And you don't just walk away from something like that (I don't anyway), and I spent a lot of time and effort and energy trying to mend what was broken. No regrets. This is the post that everyone here wants to write one day. Indulge me. Here's the short version: You're gonna survive. You're gonna get stronger every day. You're gonna be a better person for what you're going through right now. But here's what no one may be telling you: You may one day recognize that your breakup may have been the best thing that ever happened to you. You're still reading right. Best. Thing. Ever. I tried. I swear I tried. But feelings change. Your perspectives change. What once dominated your thoughts (what may dominate your thoughts right now) marginalizes over time. Getting your ex back may seem like the focus of your life today, but that's not gonna last. I'm not right about everything, but I am right about this. So what happened to me? After several years of occasional contact with my ex (and one near-hookup), she and I fell out of circulation entirely. I haven't seen or spoken to Carrie (that's her name, 'cause what's the big secret?) in more than five years. Do I wish I could have a drink with her now? Sure, why not? I'm not a bitter person, and it'd be fascinating to see how she is today and how she's grown. But that's it. I've always hated to use clichés, but we've "moved on." I'm a better person, and I hope she is too. It's been nine years since we split. What did I do all that time? Nothing special. I did all the things you read about here; those ideas are correct. I finished my master's degree, I focused on my life, purely for me, and I simply pulled my act together. Most significantly, I went from being fitness conscious to an absolute gym rat. Fitness is my center of gravity these days. I cross-train, and my regimen includes group classes, classes that happen to attract more than 90 percent women. Do you see where this is going? Enter Marie. I met her more than two years ago, and -- odd as this may sound -- she became my Sunday weightlifting partner. (We do chest lifts on Sundays, and that requires a partner/spotter to do right.) Just exercise partners. Just friends. That became friends to die for. Two years. And we totally fell in love with one another. Nobody planned any of that. "Stuff" really does happen. Sometimes that stuff is awesome. Had I never split with Carrie, would I have ever met Marie? Would I ever have been in that exercise class on those Sundays when I got to know her? Very unlikely. But, dear god, she has changed my life. I haven't been in love with anyone in a long time, and it is an exhilarating feeling. Marie is an amazing person, so "right" for me that I question how it's even possible, how she could even exist. (And I hate to say this, and I hate delving into pointless comparisons, but she's a person of far better character than my ex. Every bit as beautiful too.) But here's what I am not telling you: • "Exes never get back together." Nonsense. People split up and reunite all the time. I have two friends who are married (with children, no less) to women with whom they had been split for long periods when they were dating. Reconciliation happens; it's not right for everyone -- I know now it wasn't right for me -- but it happens. It may not be right for you either, but no one here knows, not even you. Time will reveal everything. • "Everything happens for a reason." More nonsense. Life is entropic. It's a perpetual web of random events. Everything happens because it happens. So let it. There's something good in there for you, one way or another, if you're prepared: Success is where opportunity and preparation cross paths. Don't be thinking your ex is "The One." There is no "One." It's a big, complex world, and there's someone else out there (maybe several someone elses) with whom you can find mutual happiness. I found mine. And you're gonna find yours. And maybe one day you'll come back here and post a message telling me I'm right. 'Cause I am right. About this one thing. My simple advice: Live your life. Grow personally. It's a helluva ride. It's worth it. If I could have the past nine years over, I wouldn't change a thing. And to quote my favorite songwriter ... Don't Look Back in Anger. ~ Gary
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