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  1. I look on this forum a lot to see if there are any new stories about people getting back together with their ex's. I do it just so that I can have some hope, and I really hope someday I can post my story on here to give others confidence that having hope pays off. In the meantime, I am going to make a list of actual stories of people I know that broke up and got back together. Please post your stories here too and we can put a little bit of cheer into this forum. 1. My friend was dumped by his girlfriend of 4 years. They were broken up for a year and a half and he tried everything to get her back. One day he was with his friend talking about her and she called him right then to talk about something trivial, and he went over to her house. They got back together and now they are engaged. 2. My friend's sister and her husband broke up for four years and now they are married with 3 kids. 3. My friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when we were 19 and they got back together a few years later and have been together ever since. 4. My other friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when she was a sophomore in college and they just got back together and now they live together. 5. A friend of my ex's was so sad about a girl forever, talked about her all the time when we were out at the clubs, couldn't believe they broke up, etc....now they have been back together for over a year. 6. My friend and her boyfriend dated for a few years, broke up for 9 months, now they are engaged. She says their relationship is better than ever now they are back together. 7. My friend was hung up on this guy forever, he would go back and forth and never commit, now they are living together and she is going to have a baby. They are really happy and in the end it worked out great. That is just some of the stories I know off the top of my head. Please post any stories of reconciliation that you know of so that we can have some cheer in this forum.
  2. Hey y'all! Just for those that don't know me yet, I'm a 36-year-old woman and I live in a big city in Australia. When I was 13 years old, I was bullied at school and I started speaking to my high school counsellor. I thought she was really nice and helpful and I decided that when I "grow up", I wanted to have her job. In the last two years of high school I decided to study psychology, which I really enjoyed. I actually had a two hour long assessment once in my late 20's with a psychiatrist specialising in ADHD. I'd shown some milder symptoms of ADHD and my other psychiatrist suggested I do the assessment. It came out of the assessment that I probably do have it. But was not advised to take dexamthetamines due to having had mental health issues which are likely to be made worse by stimulant medication. So, couldn't really do much regarding the ADHD medication wise. I also wasn't 100% sure if I really had it because the psychiatrist didn't say it was 100% certain, but likely. I struggled really badly at university with concentration and time management. I did notice even pre mobile/cell phones or any social media that I couldn't really focus on reading text books. I'd sit in a cubicle in the library and keep reading the same page but it didn't seem to be sinking in that well. I didn't have a cell phone to distract me and I was alone, so I didn't actually have anything getting in the way of the reading. I couldn't focus on doing assignments except when I did them the night before or on the day they were due. Then I felt this surge of anxiety and stress that it had to be done and very quickly I would hone in on it and do it all in literally one go. I wouldn't sleep all night and I'd get it done. I was really good at writing and I got OK marks. I could have gotten pretty high marks I think if I didn't do everything at the last minute. I'm also obsessed with shopping and shop impulsively. I also am very bad at organising my house and hoard stuff. Anyway, it took me a long time but I got my university degree, a Bachelor of Arts with psychology major. I didn't continue to study psychology because it required a huge amount of statistics and data, and I was actually really bad at it. I hardly passed the statistics. I also took some time off my degree and I got qualifications at community college (TAFE). I got a Certificate 4 in Mental Health and Drugs and Alcohol and a Diploma of Disability. I really liked community college because it suited my learning struggles. It was very hands on where most of the assignments were very directly work related. E.g. Doing a presentation about a particular mental health service, presenting a case management plan for a fake client, things like that. There were a lot of role plays, where one person was the worker and one acted as the client and you practice actual techniques. You could also submit work late and as long as the work was satisfactory, you still passed. Eight years ago I did some volunteer work with a church mental health programme and in an art programme for people with disability. From there I got references and got actual paid work. Since 2013 I've been working in not-for-profit mental health/disability services as a support worker. I've been in my current job for five years. I really enjoy helping people but I've been finding my job a bit monotonous and boring. I also don't work on a team, only one-on-one with clients in their home or out in the community. I was thinking that I wanted to get a higher and more varied role. Like counsellor or case manager. I started thinking that I'd like to do a Masters of Social Work. In the last few weeks I got this E-mail from my previous university because I'm an alumni there. They were writing that the government is actually paying for some post graduate courses because this work is in high demand. There was a Postgraduate Diploma of Counselling which is free to do. Normally courses are not free. You can borrow money from the government. You get a loan in the sense that the government pays for your course. But once you work and start earning over $50, 000 per year, the government takes 10% from each pay until all the debt was paid off. This is an automatic deduction which you can't control and the money just gets taken from your pay. So I began thinking I could do this free counselling course. But I'm a little worried because the only work you can do with those subjects is counselling. It's not a social work degree, which allows you to apply for a large variety of roles, like case manager, etc. If I finish it but I find that doing actual counselling is not for me, I might be back to square one. It's a lot of effort for me to study and do the assignments due to my concentration issues. I mean, I can do it but it's not a piece of cake. I want to try counselling but I'm also wondering if I have the right personality for it. I think I'm a very caring person and have done well in my support worker jobs. But it's not counselling in the sense that I have to mostly just listen to people. I'm actually very talkative and bubbly and in my own personal conversations with friends and family I talk a lot. I was worried that I might struggle to just be mostly silent in counselling work and only listen to others. On the other hand, the course is free and that is a big advantage. I already have a huge education debt with the government because I failed many subjects in my university degree, but I still have to pay for them because I didn't withdraw from the unit. I also put my whole Diploma of Disability on the loan, which was maybe about $6000. The university degree is probably about $20, 000+. It seems good to do something for free but of course it requires time. And I am still working at my job too, but it's an online course. Any thoughts or suggestions? How am I doing on here? Do you think I have any potential to be a counsellor?
  3. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 10 months now and we’re both second year college students. our relationship would often consists of fights because of my attitude towards him or how i act, i admit that im sometimes immature when it comes to being demanding and sometimes cant be understanding towards my partner, but i feel like im always too criticized by my boyfriend. In our friend group he is always known to be very direct and straight to the point, so its no different that he applies that too in the relationship which is no problem for me. But lately its been different for me. In relationships its normal to be open with one another when it comes to their problems, we rant or become vulnerable with each other. I would often open up about my issues to my bf, issues about my social anxiety back in high school and stuff or about my past relationships, of course after hearing those from me he would try and comfort me. But Whenever we fight he would often bring up those things i opened up to him in an insulting way, as though he found my weakness and used it against me and completely forgot the fact that he comforted me about those things. He would always do this in our arguments that it deeply hurts me, it makes me want to show him that most people would kill just to see their partner be vocal about their feelings. There are often times where i get stressed or sad about something and the first thing i think about is to tell about them to my boyfriend, but now i’d just be so frustrated with my self because I know I cant really do that anymore towards my boyfriend, it frustrates me because i know wouldnt feel great venting things to him because I know he wouldnt comfort me or maybe he’ll just use my experience against me again. I do plan on opening this up to him but I fear that it may lead to a fight or he might correct me again and again because there might be something wrong with that im adressing. Sometimes I want my boyfriend to not be too firm on me and I would want to be free enough to share my feelings to him without the fear of being judged.
  4. hi guys. i'm seriously lost on what i should do right now. my boyfriend keeps insulting me on things i'm super insecure about and he knows that it hurts me and makes me cry when he does (most notably my school and my teeth and how i don't have too many friends). i'm going to community college to save money for graduate school and transferring to a university out of state close to where he's going, while he's probably going to a university better than mine since his parents are college professors and he thinks he's immune from getting rejected from the fancy school he has a legacy in. i won't get into too much detail about what happened but he made a really condescending joke about community colleges after i told him not to at least 10 times in the past. it's always the same joke format when he insults something i'm sensitive about, where he's not being upfront/mean enough to make him take accountability because he will always deny it and lie about what he really meant. i'm sensitive about this because he knows NOTHING about community college and he thinks that because i'm going there i won't have a good job in the future, when in reality i'm just doing it so i can afford to go to college out of state to be near him and he knows this. what should i do to make him stop because me talking to him about it and expressing how much it hurts is simply not working. thanks everyone
  5. Some background about me: I'm a 21F college senior, about to graduate with a dual degree in Public Policy and Economics from a prestigious university, and looking for a life in academia. Recently I've solidified my goals of getting my Ph.D. and doing research and/or being a professor. I'm very satisfied with that, I just want to read, learn, and come up with mind-blowing theories to solve global issues. And I want to share that with others. My path won't be easy, like any college student I struggle with anxiety about my future and all of the uncertainty that comes with it. Some more background: I've always been tall, slim, and pretty. I am ethnically mixed (Native American, West African, and North African) so I have a foreign type of look that a lot of people like. All my life I've gotten suggestions to go into modeling, but I've always dismissed them because not only do my interests lie elsewhere, but I also have little respect for the modeling industry. I know how horrible and demeaning it can be behind the glamor. Recently however I supported my friend's new clothing brand launch by modeling for her website, and I got a lot of positive feedback. The photographer she hired happens to scout for an agency and asked if he could take my digitals before I was "snatched up" by another agency after the photos dropped. Also, I had much more fun than I thought I would have, and was less awkward in front of the camera than I expected. You could say it came naturally. This may seem like a non-issue but I am seriously looking for advice. I am having a hard time reconciling my (extremely) introverted and academic nature with all that can come from modeling. I'm not sure I want that for myself. I am also fiercely critical of social media (I think it's evil), but I do have an Instagram account because that's where I can keep in contact with people I know, so my account is private and I don't have more than 300 followers. If I model, I don't want to have to deal with social media. I'm not fake and materialistic and those things are useful for a life in the public eye. But if I try to maintain my privacy, it might not even be worth trying because my demand might be low being that people don't know I exist. And the people that follow me aren't very supportive either. I have some great pictures posted but I never get any positive feedback. Mostly, people just ignore me. As I said I'm sort of an introvert but I do have a solid group of friends. Maybe they got tired of telling me I should model because they will comment, like, and share for anyone but me. If you have an Instagram, you know that girls will gas each other up in the comments, and repost their friends. I've never experienced that. This is why I avoid social media because I don't want to measure my worth with those metrics. My mom says they're jealous and I need better friends. That may be true. I think modeling could be fun. I'm no longer in the impressionable stage of life that most models are in when they start (at like 13 and 14 years old!), and I already have prospects for my future because of my education and career goals, so I can drop modeling anytime I change my mind. Additionally, I'm broke and come from a poor immigrant family. If I could make some easy cash for them why wouldn't I?? I knew a girl my freshman year of college who was a model, and she would be flown out to LA for a weekend and come back in time for class with $5,000. Plus, I'm significantly taller than she is, and I have the potential to do runway modeling which pays a lot more. All this being said. I'm a quiet girl and very much a nerd. I feel like I would have to push some of my already established and healthy boundaries in order to do this when I could just continue straight into grad school and my career, and find much more fulfillment that way. Just because I'm tall and pretty does not mean I have to model. But I'm only young once, and this could be fun. I come to you for help because this photographer is waiting for me and I don't want to turn down an opportunity for no good reason.
  6. Hello, A little back story, I have been with my partner for 2 years total. First year we dated casually and we've been exclusively dating for a year now, all long distance. I am normally not a very needy person and we both usually handle time away ok with a phone call once weekly, texts throughout the day, and seeing each other once or twice monthly when we can make out schedules work. I am a single mom and he is currently finishing up his commercial pilot training (will be done in May). I am absolutely in love with him, and he says the same and I have never questioned it or him in the past, he's always been perfect for me. The last 2 months have gotten insanely busy for him at school though, sometimes 16 hour days in lessons, flights, and studying. The last month, we have barely gotten to talk other than a text or 2 a day and usually our normal phone call during the week sometime. My problem is, and im not sure honestly why it has become such an issue for me, is that he says he is so busy that he doesn't have time to really text or call as much as we normally do, but I see him active on Facebook and IG when I am ALL the time. He is busy, the training program is no joke and I know others who have done it and said they were basically living at school. But im worried maybe he's losing interest if he is actually spending all this time on social media but still can't make any for me. I dont want to bring it up because I feel like it'll make me seem crazy if I do because of noticing he's active or if its nothing then the fact that I'm doubting him so much will just add stress to him I am also a huge overhtinker and COVID restrictions with less social outings and time with friends has me deep in my thoughts lol. Like I said, im probably overthinking but its driving me crazy. How do others handle lack of time and communication with LDR?
  7. My girlfriend left me one year ago, now my best friend left me recently, my family is demanding me time with them because I barely dedicate it to them. I have 4 pets, one a little kitty and they are very demanding. A little more of context: I'm a university student and this semester I'm taking too many courses, so I have my time really strict, although I can withdraw some of them to decrease the academic load. So I'm very conflicted right now because 1. My beat friend left me because I'm not a good friend, I'm selfish and it is VERY hard for me to think about other people, and I hate it. I thought I'd be changing, nonetheless, I was thinking about not spending some hours with my family in order for me to finish my week's assignments and be able to do some sport. Indeed I'm being selfish and instead of dedicating 4 hours to them a week, I'd rather go and do my stuff. 2. I know I can do this semester with great grades but as I said, I'd have to dedicate myself to it, and my family and pets demand time. I honestly feel overwhelmed. This issue of being selfish and not-at-all empathic has being over my shoulders for some years now and I can't seem to take it off. I REALLY want to be better, to build myself a good, loving future, full of people I love and I can make happy, but it is so hard and I try and try my hardest and I fall again in the same mistakes.
  8. Never posted on a forum type thing before but my head is all over the place and need some advice. Dated my Ex for 2 years back in 2015, I was 18 and immure, it ended because of loads of small things, like I would refuse to go for a walk. Play too much football with mates. And I talked about going to university. I then when to university are we spilt up, had a great time. Met a girl there been dating for nearly 2 years now. However I'm back home and she's back home too living a 5 hour drive away. She's doing a Master's degree and is going to uni again for a year. We've talked about moving in together after university. I care for her, but it seems like we are friends and don't have that connection I had with my ex. I keep thinking of all the things I had in common with my ex, early on I had loads in common with my girlfriend but she just said it to impress me. And it's hard now as I've started to see we just don't have things in common. My ex has a boyfriend too, but it's hard for me to fully get over the connection we had. We're still friends on social media but don't chat or anything but I see her story and remember the times we had together. Do all relationship have that feeling of being deeply in love? Because I care for my girlfriend I would never want anything to happen to her, but the feeling isn't the same as what I felt for my ex. I just don't know what to do.
  9. How do you make the best use of time after finishing a semester before starting a new one?
  10. Hi all, here's some backstory. I recently decided to start fresh with school after completing one year of college, I am now coming back home to a community college to play soccer for the school and switch majors essentially deeming myself a freshman again. with school and soccer as my main focus plus being back at home with no potential dates on my mind, I though I would end up spending the next two years working, playing, and doing school with no GF, which I was bummed about, but I figured it would be for the better as my last relationship took up the majority of my time and Money often distracting me from more important things, which in retrospect seems bad but it felt right at the time so I can't complain. Anyways... I am training at my new fast food job, handing food out the window to customers when a girl calls me by name (I wear a name tag) and asked if I have a GF, I responded no to which she asked if I wanted one. already flustered worrying about getting orders correct and having my bosses around me, I said come back at 8 (when I got off) and we'll talk. To my surprise, when I got off work and went out to my car, she pulled up. I formally introduced myself and got her name. She's a very pretty girl that I think I would like to have a relationship with, but I then asked her how old she is. She's 17, I'm 19, so she's a HS senior and I'm essentially a college freshman again, only a one year school difference. I was super nervous so I didn't have much time to think so after she said that we both kinda awkwardly smiled at each other, I told her that I'm 19 and that she should come back when she turns 18. she didn't immediately leave so I asked her if she went to school in the area, and coincidentally, she goes to HS in the same town as my Community College. With that info in mind, we ended the convo and went our separate ways. After having a day to reflect though, I am starting to wonder if I made the wrong decision. With the given info I was able to do some online snooping to find a social media account just so I could see her face again as everything was kinda a blur due to me being nervous, so I do have a form of contact if I do decide to change my mind. I have a few concerns that I would like input on though. First and most importantly, she is 17 and I am 19, according to socials, she just turned 17 and I just turned 19 so we are almost exactly two years apart, I really have no issue with this, my grandparents are like 10 yrs apart so 2 is really no big deal, but with the age gap being at such a significant time legally, me being over 18 and her under , I am wondering if this would cause issues or lead to harsh judgement from others. legally, I think I could only get into trouble if there was a sexual side to the relationship, I would being willing to wait the extra year especially b/c I feel like that stuff is much better when you know your partner better anyways, but would this still lead to assumptions from friends and family anyways. I also don't know for sure that she is okay with the age gap, she didn't immediately leave when I told her my age which is a good sign but I could risk total rejection if I were to reach out. next, I would have to reach out through social media and somehow explain that I had to do some digging to find her which might make her feel weird/ creeped out as well. I also don't even know her or anything about her which means we may be polar opposites anyways. Finally, I am not sure if I am obsessing over this because I am truly attracted to her or because its just the fact that Ive never had girl be that forward with me and then show the dedication to drive all the way back 5 hrs later that I am attracted to. I don't want to miss out on something that could turn into a really great relationship, but with all of these complicating factors, I am wondering if it is something that is really worth it. any help is appreciated. thanks.
  11. I started dating someone from bumble (we are not exclusive) and we get along great and are both into one another. He’s really sweet and treats me right unlike a lot of others I have dated. He’s a masters student and is writing his thesis and should be defending this coming fall. Last time I saw him (Wednesday) we talked about doing something this Saturday. I texted him today with some ideas, thinking he’d know I was talking about the weekend and not tonight especially since I mentioned some activities that are typically done during the day. Anyway, once we decided on an activity, he wrote back saying “how about tomorrow/Sunday? I have a meeting with my advisor tonight at 8pm”. I am probably being insecure and crazy but it seemed kind of weird/fishy that he would feel the need to tell me what he was doing tonight instead of just asking if we could do tomorrow/Sunday. And I know we are not exclusive so he is free to see others but he could’ve just said he couldn’t tonight and left it at that, even though I wasn’t asking about tonight. We haven’t had the talk about if we are still dating others yet so it’s obviously still okay if he is seeing others, it just seems weird he would have an advisor meeting 8pm on a Friday night and if it’s not true, that he would lie to me about it when I didn’t even ask. I’m not in academia so I don’t know what’s the norm and what’s not.
  12. for context, me and my boyfriend had an argument yesterday and it was never resolved but eventually got worse late at night. It was about me opening up to him how in the past he constantly kept saying that we’re broken up whenever we have a big fight, I told him how it affected me and even though he somewhat changed, I still felt like it wasnt properly discussed. Eventually it turned into a big fight and to him saying he’s done with me, then proceeds to block me everywhere. After an hour he came and apologized, mostly saying:“ im sorry mahal, im trying to be better from my past, no matter how many times I say im done i still want you“. Of course it made me feel good but I still hesitated, I didnt blast at him when he apologized but instead I stood by what I have been saying to him since morning that him constantly saying to break up with me upsets me. After saying those things he said he wanted to call me in order to talk about it, but sadly I had to go to the mall with my family, so I told him we can call later. Once I head back home I messaged him, the whole time I was still not fine with him and was still pretty upset. When I messaged him, he was trying to lighten up the mood between me and him by sending photos with silly filters, even though I was slightly mad, I couldnt help but laugh a long with him in the chat. We then continued talking in the call, he then started joking around with me with our college friends in the chat and I was not having it. I was slightly hostile towards him when that happened and he apologized but I just kept going off at him by saying that “why do you have to involve in those jokes?” “can you stop it?” “Im not having it”. He then responds to asking me if i was still mad about earlier or is it because I didnt like joking with our college friends as of the moment. I answered that Im still mad at what he did, and then I proceeded to telling him how he doesnt know how I feel when he kept breaking up with him, I just said a lot of things regarding that issue. It then again turned into an argument with him just saying: “wow” “do you really think im like that towards you?” “Just look at the things you do”. In that argument he seemed more pissed about the fact that my mood in the chat was so misleading, how i seemed fine in the chats but now in the call I was mad. It then lead to him ending the call again. We then continued fighting in text, it was him saying how I cant even tell how uncomfortable I still was even after the fight. It then continued to him saying he doesnt want this anymore, hes deleting all our pictures, he regrets apologizing to me earlier, hes throwing away the letters i gave him and many more. I have a lot in my mind right now and I dont know if I should blame myself for not telling him in the chats that Im not in the mood to joke around but instead went with the flow with him, but in call proceeded to be mad at him for the things he did. Its morning here and I really wanna approach him but im scared and dont know how. I dont know if we’re already broken up or what. Im mostly scared because I dont know how I can justify about the chats thing, I want to approach him just to settle things straight with him now if this is really it.
  13. Hello, I am recently engaged and am getting married next year. When I first started talking to my fiance some time ago, I told her I had a college degree (which I was a semester away from completing but put on hold for personal reasons). She has a successful career and I was worried that not having a degree would deter her from wanting to date me so I fabricated the truth in the moment even though it was clearly a bad decision. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal because I figured it wouldn't really have an impact on our relationship because I had a good job so I kept the lie up. Now I am in a situation where her dad is trying to get me hired on at his job which is requiring me to send a copy of my diploma (which I don't have). I am currently panicking because I'm worried that me coming clean about it will ruin our relationship because we've been together for about 18 months with her and her parents being under the impression that I graduated. If I don't come clean about it though, she will find out anyway because I'm assuming this job will tell her dad that I didn't get the position because I don't have a degree. Is there a way to salvage this situation or am I about to lose everything? Any advice is appreciated. Just a side note this is the only thing I have kept from her and we don't have any trust issues whatsoever. Thanks
  14. This a long one, please bear with me. All information is relevant. So I have had a crush on this girl for a while. I first met her in college (we both study in the same field) and we never talked then. She was in a relationship and so was I (yes, i had a crush on her although I was in a relationship). Recently, she got hired at my job (partime job, we both still are attending college). When she started working, we both were getting out of our own respective relationship. We both are single since very recently (about 2-3 weeks ago). She ended her relationship and I ended mine. We both work different shifts (hers start when mine end) and I have been staying late at work to hangout with her. Sometimes even 2-3 hours after my shift ! We would have a great time, laugh, have deep and meaningul conversations. I only get to see her twice a week (i wouldn’t get to see her other days due to differences in our shifts). Also, it is important to mention that me staying late and hanging out with her does not have any negative impact in our job whatsoever,our boss is aware and absolutely okay with that. Lately, she has been behaving on what I thought was a flirtous manner : - When I would leave she’d say : “you’re leaving already ? Please stay !” - She’d sometimes bring me coffee from a nearby shop - I once told her I would order us lunch and she said “You can always charm me with food” - We only once had our shifts at the same time and during the day she’d text me “please come! I’m lonely!” Our coworkers thought we were dating and they were always asking us if me and her were in a relationship together. One day, having been thinking about all these clues, I decided I would express my feelings towards her (in person) and ask her out. When I did, she only said - “i don’t know what to say!” - “You’re catching me completely off guard!”. I later texted her that day and she told me again that i really caught her off guard and that she had too much on her plate lately with school and that she still hasn’t gotten over her previous relationship (even though she is the one who ended her previous relationship). (This was a week ago). NOTE: never did she say that I wasn’t her type nor never did she ever friendzone me. At this moment I decided I would be distant. I wouldn’t text her through the week. When saw her for the first time saturday (a week after the day when I expressed my feelings towards her), we chatted like usual, but I purposely stayed only for 30 minutes and she was seemed shoocked and surprised (even bothered) that I stayed only for that long. The following day, I stayed for 5 hours after my shift, i got us coffees and hung out and had a great time. When talking relationships she told me she’s caring less and less about her ex now (I asked) and then she later revealed that she’s the kind of girl who is hard for her to fall in love with someone (i never asked, why did she mention this) ? However, i might have stayed too long that evening because she eventually started to seem bored, and seeing that I decided i would head back home. I am curious to know the “why” behind all of this story, is she interessed but just confused ? Why was she beeing flirtous ? Did I express my feelings for her too soon ? Also, I want to know how I should proceed, because I definitely want to date her eventually. Should I text her during the week ? Should I be silent until I see her at work next week ? Should I ask her out again ? Should I wait for her to make a first move (considering that she knows how I feel, but i dont know how she does) ? Should I make another move ? Thank you!
  15. Like the title says, there isn't really much room for advice in this situation anyway. So let's just go through a little rundown on how life in college should ideally function. You write graded research essays, cool right, well not really, because you see there's this template that they keep posting on each Module's page on how research essays are graded, and they mention very specific criterion along with their assigned weights, all of that is fine and dandy until one as**ole professor decides that they are going to mark papers in a radically different way from everyone else in the department. "oh you thought you had to include a "Theoretical Review" in your essay before you start digging into the studies that are based on actual data and stuff like that, because that's what's actually written in this freaking template that is supposed to comprehensively communicate the standardized marking criterion for all modules, hence you can find it on each individual module's page, well think again, because I decided that I wanted the entire paper to be made up of only that second half of this criteria, and those 800 words worth of theoretical analysis you've put in there is totally worthless to me, haha gotcha. Now did I communicate this clearly enough, oh yeah there was this one time during class that was literally a month or so before this whole quarantine situation settled in where I vaguely talked about the structure of the paper without highlighting the critical exclusion of one of the main marking criterion despite the fact that the question I wrote myself says "highlight the different schools of thought that study the relationship" , oh sorry didn't I tell you how that I personally considered each individual study to be a "school of though" in of itself, did you make the rational mistake of thinking I was referring to the theoretical part of the essay that's expressly mentioned in the marking table, well boohoo for you I guess, life's not fair , deal with it or kill yourself, whichever's most convenient for you blah" Ranked among the top students in my cohort for two years in a row, only for this piece of sh#t to come and deal my GPA the dirtiest hand it's been dealt since I first enrolled in this garbage overpriced uni. It seems that even in the presence of a standardized marking criterion, professors still find a way to abuse their power just so that they can have things their way. And of course I could go and whimper to the head of the department about this, she'll come up with some bullsh*t justification or try to make me out to be the one at fault when clearly the opposite is true. Okay whining is over I guess. Does anyone else have stories about crappy encounters with university professors?
  16. So this past winter I got into a relationship and it ended in less than a month. But I did end up successfully finish a semester in university. Fast forward to my situation now,... I am in an assisted living group home for those with mental disabilities. There is this one staff member who works casually, and then about a month ago she heard I was a good hockey player, then it seems since then she's been into me. She winked at me more than several times, and we both went to the same college out west, but different programs. I am losing weight and I think I'm beginning to look more lean and more attractive. I feel good and confident about myself and I am pretty outgoing and also very analytical, staff members know I'm a resourceful guy, I make my money gambling online. The other day I went to the liquor mart and a very attractive young woman in her late 20's it appeared as, she was staring at me the whole time I went to buy alcohol. I'm over my relationship. Will I ever find anything more than just flings?
  17. Matched with a guy on tinder and we've exchanged numbers. He told me he's looking for something more long term. We're thinking of going on a coffee/icecream date. He apparently goes to the same University I'm at. The other night he was talking about what he's studying and I just innocently said he should show me by sending a photo as it seemed interesting. He didn't send me a photo, bit weird I thought. I then via our Uni email checked he does not come up which probably means he's lied. * possibly IT Issue? he mentioned he's second year, I'm a fourth year student so it's practically impossible that his name is not coming up but mine is. * the name he provided matches his Instagram and Facebook, can't see him using a fake name. I tried searching his last name alone and nothing comes up. Would you go through with a date? What do you suggest I do? Text him and be upfront? tl;dr matched with a guy on tinder, I'm attracted/interested in him. Realised he's most likely lied about going to the University I'm at.
  18. I have been in love with this guy from my school for the last 11 years. We were acquaintances in school but haven't been in touch after that. A few months ago I started talking to him through fb. We chatted a few times. It's always me who initiates the conversation but he always replies to my texts. Almost 3 months ago I told him about my feelings (that I love him for that last 11 years) and asked him out. He replied that he appreciates the fact that I told him about my feelings and will let me know when he is free so that we can meet. But he never tried to contact me after that. I tried to take another chance recently and asked him how he was doing and he replied but I felt that the conversation was forced and he wasn't taking any initiative. What should I do?
  19. Just to add some context. I graduated with a degree in computer information systems back in 2014, at the time I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life and didn't take my degree that seriously. Fast forward a year I quit my job (at citibike) and started getting very serious into programming. Initially, I wanted to do game programming, building game engines in low level programming languages. However, my school didn't teach me much about that, and I was mainly teaching myself learning c++ and game programming libraries from text books. After about a year and a half making progress, but not enough where I felt I was confident I switched over to doing web development with php. In about 6 months, I made more improvement learning web development then the year I struggled learning game programming. Partly, this was because all that c++ made me a better programmer, but also because web development doesn't have that steep of a learning curve. Along the way I pursued some internships and joined this consulting company. Two years after I graduated college I finally started to put together a resume and go on interviews, partly because my school didn't really prepare me, and partly because I hadn't taken it seriously enough. It was around this time that I thought I was a good programmer but basically I failed almost every single interview I went on. I think it was close to 5-6 interviews all in person interviews and this is when I really started to feel bad about myself. I couldn't figure out if I had imposture syndrome or if I really just sucked at programming. I felt like I did everything I possibly could, reading multiple books and building applications from the ground up. All the while the industry is advancing and new frameworks and technologies are coming out that I haven't been keeping up with. I think it was around 2018 that I finally decided to start going to meetups, this is when everyone was going to programming boot camps at this time. I had spent the better part of 3 years in my room just teaching myself how to program and feeling terrible about myself the entire time wondering what I was doing wrong and why no on would hire me. Eventually, I met someone in the industry who started giving me advice on what I was doing wrong and what I could do to better my situation. Long story short he told me to focus on 1 thing, explaining that I was spreading myself too thin, trying to learn too many different types of technologies. It was also around this time that I realized I was actually really advanced in programming relative to many of the people attending some of the meetups and wondered how it was possible that many of them were getting jobs after only attending a boot-camp for 3 months and a few more months of self study. Then, it finally happened I got a job offer and I accepted it. After 5 years of studying the moment I had been waiting for finally happened. Guess what, I quit after 3 months. That's how much time it took me to realize that I would be bored at this place and decided instead to focus on doing enterprise development with java. Next to game programming, enterprise development was like this boogieman to me. By this time, I was a much much better programmer than I was when I graduated college and I was surprised at how much I improved by, I actually was confident for the first time and started mentoring people. Fast forward to a year, I burned about 2 months learning: c, directx, win32 api. Another 3 months learning algorithms along with Java EE. And finally close to 4 or 5 months learning Spring and Angular. I am feeling really burned out at this point, to be honest I probably wouldn't have made this much progress if I wasn't already as advanced as a I was. I think it would have been a daunting task for the average person out of college, but its probably expected in my industry. I am feeling really depressed at this point, many of the phone calls with recruiters have not went well, they keep telling me the same thing, not enough experience and I guess I am not talking very confidently on the phone either. I am a 34 year old who still lives at home, but I am feeling like I am literally running in quick sand at this point. Most of my problems stem from the fact that I don't get along with people well. Had I made more of an effort to put myself out there earlier and more often, I think I could have landed a job years ago. I realized that many of the people who got jobs out of bootcamps had really developed networking skills and weren't afraid of rejection like me. Has anyone experienced something similar, and how can I stay calm. Also, note my parents put pressure on me to leave the house and get a 'real' job (I currently work as a bike courier). This makes my situation even more stressful. Sorry this post is so long, but this has been pent up for a very long time.
  20. Alright I would really like to know what YOU would do if you were in my situation. It's driving me bonkers and I feel like I have been overthinking it so much that I can't even see the situation clearly anymore. A fresh perspective would really help me here. So I have a friend. He and I have known each other since high school and we're in our twenties now. I had crush on him all through high school but I was so shy I never did anything about it, and I never told anyone. Then in college we kind of reconnected, and became better friends. 3 years ago I bit the bullet and told him I liked him. He rejected me and said he hoped it wouldn't ruin our friendship. He did not tell me why he was not interested. Ever since then, we've actually become even closer friends. And my feelings have not gone away no matter what I've tried. I've gotten on a health-kick eating clean and working out, throwing myself into school and making new friends, and I've dated other guys. But every time I feel like I've moved on, he says something flirty or does something incredibly nice for me. All our mutual friends are convinced that he likes me, but I just don't know. This is where I get confused. He is an extremely difficult person to read. He is quite guarded, not experienced with girls whatsoever, and not very good at communicating. Sometimes he says things that make me positive that he does NOT see me as more than a friend, but then sometimes he says really nice things or drives hours and hours to see me. But then he opens my Snapchats and doesn't reply, or he'll ghost me for weeks. All of this confuses me so much, and it's causing me pain because of course my ego wants to believe he has changed his mind, but then I convince myself that it's just wishful thinking and I'm just imagining it, and that I am strictly a friend to him. I'm not asking if you think he likes me or not - I think that is impossible to tell through the internet. I witness how he interacts with me in person and even I have no idea. I'm asking what you would do if you were in my situation. We share a friend group and have many events and trips planned in the future, so I will not be able to avoid him if I do something to make things awkward. He is also SO difficult to talk to about anything involving feelings, he just shuts down and gets all awkward. I do not really want to tell him that my feelings haven't gone away, because I don't want to push. He said he did not have mutual feelings and that's that. I teeter back and forth between having enough self worth to say "I deserve someone who wants me as much as I want them" and "I literally have stronger feelings for him than anyone I've ever met, and no one else holds my interest like he does". It hurts a lot to be this confused, so please if you've been through something similar or have a clear idea of what I should do, I'm all ears. I do not want to continue like this, being his friend and shoving my feelings down, obsessing over how he feels about me, because it's not healthy. But I don't know the next steps to take. Give up or keep hanging on? It would probably be healthier for me if I cut him out of my life entirely, but like I said, it's not really possible when i will have to see him constantly with our friends.
  21. Hi All, First off, I want to take the time to thank anyone who is willing to over me some advice. Okay, so to start my ex-boyfriend and I were in a strong and committed relationship for a bit over 4.5 years. We recently broke up on March 27th of this year due to something I did, an active of extreme impulses. We are both in our 20s, him 23 and me going on 21 in a few months. This particular incident began when I called him to see if he’d be able to send me a few dollars to order UberEats around noon. With the pandemic going on, I lost my job working at an elementary school and have been low on funds. I live with my grand currently and also attend college. Anyways, he sent me the money because our kitchen sink was broken at the time. My grandparents felt that if the sink was broken, the whole kitchen was too, lol. After that discussion and him sending the money, he asked if I wanted to go to the mall. I explained to him that it was closed due to the lockdown and perhaps we could grab food instead. He shared that he’d think about it and let me know later. I never bought food because around 3 pm, my grandma cooked after my grandpa temporarily fixed the sink. Anyway, he called around 5:30 pm to see if I was still interested in spending time with him, and I agreed. Around 6 pm, I was heading to his place to pick him up and on the way had informed him that I ate earlier, but wouldn’t mind a bit of snacking. About 5-10 after saying that, he began to think about what I said and changed his mind after I arrived. He instead wanted to just go to the gas station and head home. I have been going to therapy twice a week for two months now, but still have a minor issue with my extreme reactions. So, I got more upset that necessary and called him out of his name and yelled. I apologized immediately, and headed to the gas station. I was still a bit upset at him and asked for him to remove the pump from my car since it was on the passenger side. He said no multiple times, and I kicked him out of my car. He only walked half a block before I gave him a ride, but he told me later that evening that it was too late, and he was done. I have been around way too many toxic relationships and traumatic experiences, and unfortunately, took things out on him. He is very strong, a wonderful man, and I so much want him in my life for good. I’ve made those kind of mistakes throughout our relationship, but just recently seemed therapy and psychiatry. I had trust issues that stemmed from unhealthy marriages throughout my family and an abusive mother. I wasn’t always dependent upon him to make me happy, but I did a bit towards the end of our relationship. He has given me so many changes, and just recently I have been working positively and hard to better myself. We have broken up some times before, not nearly as long, but I would always beg and plead for his return. He would always love me just as much too. I believe that he is the right person that came at the wrong time. I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused by my mother for years and he would always comfort me. I was there for him a lot too. He is an excellent compliment in my life. Currently I have been doing no contact for about 3-4 days, not much, but he doesn’t have me blocked on anything. I jus want to know that as I continue to better myself and let go of the trauma and other people’s experiences, is there a chance that we could get back together and make it work the right way? We have the same life end goals, support each other and have loved each other hard. We never cheated or anything to that extreme. I love him very much, and I do pray for his return. What should I continue to do? Thank you all.
  22. A friend of mine has been behaving a little weird lately, I feel like she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. I know this might seem like we're back at high school but we've been friends for almost 3 years so I'm a little confused and sad. So we would meet on a regular basis and were pretty close but lately it seems she hangs out with everyone else except for me. We both have our own group of friends and I'm definitely not someone who needs their friends 24/7 but we'd always find time to meet up. The last time we met she was a little weird/annoyed but she's going through stuff so I didn't think too much about it. We were supposed to attend this event last weekend, she said she couldn't go because she was afraid of the coronavirus. Yesterday we were randomly texting when she just told me she cant meet up this weekend because she's busy. I didn't even ask her about the weekend plans, so I thought it was a bit weird. The thing is she hangs out with other people, goes to concerts and stuff, so I have the impression she doesn't want to find time to meet up with me. I know I can't do much about it, and I don't want to force people to spend time with me if they don't want to, I just needed to vent. I feel a little disappointed, like she knows I am going through some stuff too and I don't feel I could talk to her right now. Thank you for reading this!
  23. Hey sorry if this is long. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We went from strangers to best friends. One day we just started Facetiming each other and we continued doing that every single day. We would fall asleep on the phone and wake up at 6am for school the next day and still be on Facetime lol. During this time, I was a senior in high school and he was a junior. We went to different schools but we managed to start seeing each other as much as possible. He would even cut school to see me even though I never wanted him to skip school he would just say "I just wanna be with you". Mind you this is only a month or two in. At this point we have told each other everything, our deepest darkest secrets. There were nights where he would break down crying because of the family problems he has and his own mental issues. He was going through depression. There were nights on Facetime where he would let me know how much he appreciates me and cares for me and start to cry about that too because he is so grateful for meeting me. He always would thank me for being there for him through his hardest moments. There were times we would talk on the phone til 6am and he would just appreciate me. Two months later we made it official and continued to talk everyday, you know, that young puppy love. The days he did go to school he would make the cutest s*** in his art classes. He would always put my initial or just include my name in his art. One time his school went on a field trip to the beach and he drew out "I love you Cierra" in the sand and he would record it and send it to me. He would surprise me with cute little gifts and he even gave me his bracelet that he got from the Philippines. He was born there and that is the reason why he ended up being in a grade behind me because he didn't know English at the time. But from the age of 9 he would just read so many books and if you talk to him, you wouldn't even know that he's bilingual because he has no accent. He made me feel so special as his girlfriend he always told me he tells everyone at school about me. I was so surprised when I visited his school (it's a small school) everyone knew my name and there were teachers that would go up to me and hug me and thank me. I thought he was capping but he really did tell these people about me. 5 months later were basically inseparable. We are with each other damn near everyday. We live in two different cities and we don't have a car so he would usually be the one to catch the train and bus just to see me, in the cold and in the rain. This would take about an hour and 30 minutes. I would feel bad but at the same time I felt very special because no one has treated me with that much importance before. We're the type of couple that doesn't really act like a couple. We treat each other like best friends and we always laugh at each other and do gross things like smelling each other's farts ( as a joke) because we didn't care and we are so comfortable with each other. There was a time where we got into a bad argument and he called me a b****. I told him I'm not like these other girls that likes being called a b**** and I wont tolerate it. We solved our issues and continued on. Then as time goes by, we get into more arguments and he gets more disrespectful and I am the type of person that doesn't deal with that so I tell him to call me when he calms down. He listens. 8 months in, we have ups and downs but we can't seem to leave each other alone. He still tells me he appreciates me and loves me for being there for him through everything and his mental illnesses. He would always tell me how he wouldn't give a if his family doesn't like me or want me around him he would emphasize that he would stay with me regardless because as he puts it "they don't know ". What I mean by that is they don't know everything I have done for him and how hard I would fight for him. He always would tell me I am his top priority, even before his family. That surprised me because I never met a guy like that. Most guys I know leave girls without saying a word and they don't care how the girl would feel. This guy told me he would do anything for me and he has shown me that many many times. He talks to his mom about me and she has told me hers self through texts (because she lives in the Philippines) how much she appreciates me. She also has told me how much his family out there appreciates me because his family here doesn't really support him or help him through things like getting a job and getting through school. He has told me multiple times on how much he wants to go home (the Philippines) because he was so happy out there and now he doesn't even know if he wants to do that because he doesn't want to leave me. He has told me his biggest dream is me (a black girl) moving to the Philippines with him. He said that would make his life. But that is difficult because I am currently in my first year of college and everyone says I need to finish here. We have been through so much, there has been times where things got difficult and I ask him why doesn't he just break up with me? He said it's so hard to let go. I am all he has. He has said if I leave he really wouldn't know what to do because I have also have been his "mom" out here. I have sent him my last $30 for uber eats is he didn't eat that day. I take care of him more than his family out here. I know he would really struggle. There has been a lot of good in our relationship but there has also been a lot of bad. He is very jealous, he has accused me of cheating even though I would never do that and he has cried to me about the girls that played him. He acts like a child sometimes like if he doesn't get what he wants he will throw a tantrum. For example, if I hang out with my girl friends for the day and we get our nails done or something, he would be very sad and throw a tantrum. In his head, he thinks I am trying to avoid him but that is not the case I am simply hanging out with my friends. I have also told him we could have a day to hang out with our friends (because space is healthy) but he would refuse because he would rather be with me than anyone. But we did work on this though and he understands that its okay for me to be with them. I have asked him, don't you get annoyed with me sometimes? Don't you want me to leave you alone sometimes. And he would reply with something like I don't care I just wanna be with you, that's all. Our relationship has stressed us both out and I have asked him wouldn't it be better if we were just best friends? We wouldn't have to stress like this anymore, and everything would be good. But he would reply with he just wants me, no one else. He doesn't want to be single he doesn't want to look for other girls, he just wants me. But I honestly feel like I have become a huge distraction for him. There were days where he wouldn't go to school and he would come up to my school and wait for me to get out of class just to be with me and I would remind him to focus on more important things like getting his diploma but he is so stubborn he would just say he wants us to be together. This has gotten so hard and I love him with all of my heart but I don't want to see him not graduate. I want space because I know that would be good for both of us and we wont be clinging on to each other. But he doesn't get it. Every time we do "breakup" it doesn't last because he is just so sad. Like a sad ass puppy. I honestly don't know what to do. It's like I don't want to leave him because hes struggling mentally and his family out here doesn't care but this has become draining. This man has loved me so hard, defended me, cared for me, got me through my panic attacks and so much more. But things are toxic and its mainly because of his mental issues. He says he loves me but if you loved someone wouldn't you let them go if they wanted you to? If it were you, would you stay? I know relationships are hard. Would you stay with someone that treats you like his queen but has anger issues? Thank you for your answers.
  24. Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for coming up to a year and we are both 27. To give you a bit of a background, his parents are very well off so he went to boarding school when he was younger. He found school hard and didn't pass his GCSE's so when he left school he was given a job at his dads company. Shortly after we got together, him and his dad had a fall out and he was sacked. My boyfriend saw this as a blessing as him and his dad didn't have the best working relationship and he wanted the confidence to go get a job that he had earnt and not been given. I was super supportive as he wanted to join the police. He started college to get his GCSE's and things were looking great. BUT....he quit college (I believe he was scared to fail), he said he was going to get his job back with his dad but still hasn't asked, then he was going to work as a carer but hasn't applied. I am loosing hope. On a side note, his mother who has never had to work, adores him. They are best friends. She loved him not having a job because she can go shopping with him, go to the gym with him, and takes him for lunches everyday. FYI he has never made his bed in his life, car and fuel paid for and even his phone is paid for my his mother. And to be honest I hate this as I moved out at 18, bought a house at 21 and very independent AND I want to go for lunches with him but he cant afford to take me out, so all of his dates are with his mom (yes I am resentful). His mother, I don't think, wants him to get a job, she has belittled any suggestions he had for work saying they are too poorly paid and he needs to start his own company instead like his dad did. Soooo...now she is spending 40k on a food van so he can sell waffles at festivals. My opinion is that this is not a full time job, it will not get us a mortgage, pay the bills or provide stability and she is just doing it for him to keep him living at home and under her wing for longer, at the same time selling it to him as if he will become Richard Branson. He knows working for his family didn't work and he was desperate to EARN a job that he has chosen and applied for...so what is he doing? What do I do?! He tells me every week that he wants a job, provide for me and buy a house to start a family. But I feel he is too scared to jump and doesn't want to upset his mom. She has already told me she wishes he was dating an orphan so she would never lose her son to another family. I am confused as to whether I should be annoyed at her? or my boyfriend for telling us what HE actually wants. Is he just trying to please us both and tell us what we want to hear? How long should I wait? I feel I am waiting for him to grow up so I can get my dream of a family. Am I being selfish and unsupportive? Help!!
  25. Sorry everyone super long post, I just really needed to get this out. I tried to write as best as I could to facilitate reading as much as possible and would appreciate if someone had the time to read the entire thing to fully understand the situation but I totally understand and would appreciate advice even if you’ve just read the TLDR because not everyone can take the time out of their day to read a wall of text. Also if this is in the wrong section please feel free to direct me to the right one. TLDR My female best friend and I had feelings for each other years ago. I didn’t do anything but years later now, I like her a lot but I’m not sure if she feels the same way and I might’ve messed up by being too desperate/needy. At the bottom I’ve put a bunch of things I’m thinking of doing at the bottom of the post but not sure which of them is viable, I appreciate all and any advice. I had a really strange NYE and I've been doing a lot of self reflection not knowing what to do. I'm open to all sorts of advice, so please don't worry about hurting my feelings. Also, some of the ways I describe myself might make it seem like I'm arrogant, but I'm not (at least I don't believe I am haha) I'm just trying to describe the situation as best as I can. If I do come off as brash please feel free to let me know. I met my female best friend in grade 8. We had a lot in common and we hit it off. However, after a while I started to catch feelings. That year, we went to the graduation dance together, and she was always super touchy wherever we went. Her friends told me she liked me and told me to ask her out, and I liked her back. However... I did nothing I'm honestly not sure why I never spoke up or said anything. I think I was insecure and not really ready for a relationship at the time. I thought she was too good for me, that she would say no (even though her friends literally said to my face that she would say yes) and most of all, I didn't know what to do in a relationship so I never asked. We stayed good friends throughout High School but we didn't see each other much during grade 9 and 10 so I wasn't sure about her feelings towards me. Looking back it was super obvious she liked me in grade 9 but again, I didn't do anything because I was kind of insecure Throughout high school I really worked on improving myself. I got a new haircut, started to dress better, hit the gym, made a lot of new friends, etc. I was having the time of my life in high school, I got good grades, hung out with lots of friends, and I was having a lot of fun. Then, in grade 11 she came back into my life because we had literally every class together. I started catching feelings again but I wasn’t sure if she felt the same way. Looking back, she probably did but I guess hindsight is always 20/20. I should've said something, but even after all the self-improvements I had made, I was still afraid of rejection. I didn’t say anything the entire year. The summer of 2019 came and it felt an arrow had struck through my heart because one of my closest friends (let’s call him T and the girl S) was crushing on her. He didn’t tell me, but I’m pretty decent at picking up social cues so I could tell. I was frustrated, since T knew that I liked that girl. I thought she liked him back as well because she was touching his arm, laughing at his jokes, etc. Then one day during August, she told me she didn’t like him at all and she thought he was creepy and he’d tried to ask her out multiple times but she said no every time. I was giving her advice while trying to hide my excitement. I was also the only person she told about her situation, which boosted my ego a little bit as in my mind I was (maybe foolishly) thinking that it was kind of like a boyfriend/girlfriend situation already. We hung out two times over the summer in groups and they went really well from my point of view, both times we went off on our own the two of us together and I personally had fun. However, 12th grade came and I’m currently overwhelmed. I’m normally a straight A student without needing to study and was planning on going to university for applied science but all of a sudden, my grades were tanking. My mental health declined sharply and I ended up not talking to anyone in social media or real life and just studying to try and keep my grades up. I was super grumpy and not in the best of moods. As a result, my girl friend grew distant and I feel like she started to pull away and this is where I may have made a mistake. I started acting desperate and needy, I’d always try to start a conversation with her every single day after school, replied to everything she put on her snapchat/instagram story doing what I thought would keep her interest. I also did some stupid attempts at flirting which probably came off as creepy as I don’t think she found them super seductive or anything. I have a lot of female friends (and some of them have liked me but I never showed interest because I put this friend on I guess a pedestal if I’m going to be honest) but I’ve never had a girlfriend so I feel like that is where the needy mentality came from; I was so scared of “losing” her and just not wanting to graduate high school without ever dating anyone. We attended a New Year’s Eve party my friend threw a couple days ago and something happened that I’m not even sure how to process now. We played pong together, won a few games against other people, and everything was going great. I overheard a conversation that she had with a classmate of mine about prom, and I heard her say “I think I’m probably going with H”. H is my best friend and that crushed me even though I heard that out of context. I probably should’ve waited to hear more or not let it bother me, but I ended up leaving where I was listening from and drinking a lot since I was obviously feeling awful and as a result I don’t remember much from the night. H has always supported my crush on her and he’s given me a lot of valuable advice this year so I’m not really sure what’s going on there; in addition H had the exact same thing happen to him that I supported him through where his girlfriend of two years went with someone else while he was still super interested in her so I don’t think he’d do something like that to me. Maybe they had a pact to go to prom together if they were both single by prom or something? They are very close friends and snapchat each other fairly consistently (which doesn’t bother me as I am very close with some of my other friend’s girlfriends as well but I obviously wouldn’t do anything to split them apart) so that could be the case but either way my mind is just running everywhere and it’s not putting me in a good mood. Apparently I talked to a few of her friends while I was drunk about liking her and they all said that they like the pairing of us two together and support me. They weren’t able to give any advice because they told me she actually hasn’t talked to them about any guys at all since the 9th grade when she talked about me. However, I really don’t know where to go from here. I’ve thought about multiple different things I could do but I don’t know if they’re actually viable or not. Where to go from here? Confessing: This is what I was advised to do by her best friend. However, I’m not 100% sure about it as I kind of feel that it puts her in a position with a lot of pressure (Or at least that’s what I’ve read on reddit and it does make sense) in addition, two of my friends have done this confession thing to girls they’ve liked and it didn’t work either time. On the other hand, things might be different here. All advice about this is appreciated! Ask her out: I’ve actually done this I think October? I was acting super desperate at the time so I’m not sure what she thought of it. I asked her if she was free on the weekend and wanted to hang out and she said she was busy. (She was actually busy that weekend she was out of town for a tournament) but she did not make plans to reschedule etc so I’m not sure how that went. Looking back I should have specified a time date and place and will maybe work towards that in the future. Cutting her off: I’ve honestly thought about not talking to her at all but we’re close friends and if any close friend (guy or girl) just stopped talking to me for no reason out of the blue I would probably be really pissed off and confused so I don’t know about this one. I know there’s some guys who will be super angry (think r/niceguys) if a girl doesn’t like them but I do value her friendship. Taking a step back might be hard as well because she’s moving across the country for university and the rest of this school year might be the last chance. (Hopefully not though of course) Move on: This one is easy to say, hard to do. I like her a lot and we’ve been through a lot together. All of my friends and her friends that I've talked to like us together. I would really like to date her and go to prom together but of course I know life doesn’t always work like the movies. I also think I would be hurt. Working on myself: I’m gonna do this regardless but I’m not sure if it’s enough. I think I need to work on having a better mindset when it comes to girls I have a crush on and not act desperate or needy and be myself. I have no trouble talking to girls and have many female friends, but as soon as I have a crush on someone my brain just shoots itself. Also, I think I need to work on being more flirty and not a simp because I find I do this a lot. Some of my friends are able to flirt super naturally but when I flirt I usually end up saying stupid stuff that makes me look bad. If anyone has any resources that helped them, advice, or youtube videos I can watch please send them to me as I am open to all sorts of learning. Thanks for making it through this awfully long post guys. If you have something better that I haven't thought of I have an open mind and need all the advice I can get. It’s ok if you’re harsh with your advice, I’m not someone who can’t take criticism. Thanks everyone and hopefully a few months later I’ll be able to put a positive update on this post.
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