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  1. I think he plays a roll in our fights, as well as me - we tend to trigger each other’s anxieties when we fight. But I feel a majority is me. I get this ocd anxiety whenever I’m in a long term relationship and I’ve let it ruin too many of them. If I can just get a handle on this we could get to a different place. We had something, and I don’t want to walk away without knowing that I tried everything and fought for it. It sounds so dumb looking back - one morning on the trip, he showed me a video on Facebook where a guy walked up to someone and said “now that’s a big pile of !”..and the per
  2. Now before I start this I want to say I know there is nothing wrong with people dating who have depression or any other mental illness. I myself suffered from incredibly bad OCD as a teenager which I know I have remnants that I carry into relationships. Doesn't make me a bad person to "date" or anyone else for that matter with a mental illness. This is more based on my friend we have been trying to support lately. Me and two other girls have been trying to support her through a rough time. She was in a very emotionally abusive relationship which she has been out of well over a year now.
  3. My partner of almost two years went radio silent on me about three weeks ago. No goodbyes, no explanations, just *poof* gone. I only had confirmation from his family, with whom I got very close, in the form of e-mails saying "Sorry it didn't work out." I'm confused. I put so much time, energy, money, emotion into this only to feel unceremoniously thrown away. Abandonment is a huge thing for me so it's been hard to process, hard to grieve as I have no explanation why, and even tougher to take care of myself. I know things were getting bad, it started out 50/50 time wise. Then he started to
  4. My wife (31/F) and I (33/M) have been married a few years, and dated a few years prior to getting married. My wife has two daughters (10 & 6) from two separate men from two separate marriages. We dated for a while before I met the girls, and took it slow from there also. We dated more and more and would spend more time together on the weekends she didn't have them. Slowly started seeing the girls more and more. Everything seemed to be going well. It seemed like we were making good judgement calls about how to go about the whole process, and our relationship blossomed into something we both
  5. so my wife and I have been married nearly 14 years come May. One week after her 38th Birthday and after months of talking to her female friend and now former co-worker on the phone who has had several affairs on her husband she comes to me and says she wants to separate. This caught me off guard because nearly a year went by where our lives were starting to settle and she drops this on me. I knew she was unhappy that life didn't go the way she wanted as did I. I couldn't have what I wanted (dreams of being a professional ball player) and I was bitter but I made a sacrifice to give her what she
  6. I am a 23 year old woman who is looking for some help with my self esteem. I've been in counseling for years and I still currently am. I have tried increasing my exercise, doing things to my physical appearance like painting my nails or shaving my legs, but no matter what I try, I feel very badly about myself. I wanted to post this in the person growth category or maybe another better suiting category but I couldn't figure it out.
  7. After some great introspection, and looking back on my previous two relationships, I've noticed a pattern with my insecurify. I think I have anxious/preoccupied attachment. But I don't want this to continue in any of my future relationships. Has anyone out there ever recovered from their anxious attachment into secure attachment? I'm going to counseling, but I'd still like some hope. Thanks
  8. I've been hanging around here for a while. Never created a login or posted. So, my first post here. Not quite sure if I'm putting this in the right place even. Sorry for no back story or lead-in. Feeling pretty depressed today. There doesn't seem to be anything particular that has triggered it, but nonetheless here I am. Questioning where I am in life. Is this where I want to be? Is this where I wanted to be 10 years ago? 20 years ago? The answer is, I had no idea where I wanted to be back then. But I probably wouldn't have picked here. On the surface I've got a pretty good life. Wife, 4 ki
  9. hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said ok it's our first chat anyways who knows where this will go .. then we started chatting on daily basis for an average of 4-5 hours a day .. and she always was the one who started talking .. I thought she might be liking me more than a friend so i started to flirt from time to time and then I made a small test if she is into somethings I like and she didn't show any interest .. so I started to talk crudely and kinda changed the way i used to talk t
  10. Hey All, I'm Justin, my girlfriend and I moved in together after being in a long distance relationship for a year. She moved here (california) from Amsterdam so it's been especially hard because she doesn't have her own life here and is basically piggy backing on mine. I'm fine with it but I she deals with a lot of anxiety of not feeling like she can be an independent person now. We've also been fighting a lot about stupid small things but the arguments usually culminate in something related to not having independence. But I think there's more going on, we don't seem to be have authentic and o
  11. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, engaged and great chemistry between us. As in, we both can't imagine someone better for each other and always talk about the future together. Any conflicts we have won't last more than the day they happened and they have been seeming further between the longer we've been together. I love her with all my heart, can't imagine a world without her and up until a few of weeks ago she would say the same. I am a senstive introvert. She is an introverted extrovert who has always craved more interaction with others (friends, like-minded peo
  12. Hi, so I'm so super upset, and I don't know what to do because it feels like I'm dying. I dated a guy for 8 months after I got out of the worst relationship of my life. Everything seemed so perfect; we worked together because we're both musicians, we jammed, we told each other we wanted to make it last for a very very long time. Half way through, I became very dependent on him, and would sometimes get upset when he needed "space." Because of this, I sought out counseling (2 months later) to become more independent of myself, and went on anxiety medication as well. Every time he said he nee
  13. I met a girl in high school and started to have strong feelings for her. We fell out of touch, and I felt quite depressed. I should have tried to get counseling then but didn't. Anyway, a few years later I met her again but she seemed distant and din't show any interest in getting to know me then, which was hard for me because she was friendly in HS. After college, she got into a relationship with someone. I felt quite badly about the whole thing and decided to cut all ties with her. Five years later, we are now both in our late twenties. I have been in a couple of serious relationships since
  14. Hey everyone, I have been with my Fiancé for almost 2 years now, things happened very fast for us and we have a 6 month old baby boy who absolutely adores him. The problem is, he does not trust me and it hurts. I don’t have anything to hide I am not doing anything and he has access to anthing he wants, me computer, phone whatever. He has accused me of the maintenance man, says I’m looking at men when we are out and about, one time there was a food stain in my car and he said it was a sex stain, he checks the sheets for things, he had my phone hacked and paid somebody well obviously this per
  15. **first and last paragraph for short version** My wife was sold a dream by an mlm. She joined it with out my support 8 months ago. Quietly spent $3000 chasing her dream. (A dream she didn't have until it was sold to her by an old friend from highschool). We are constantly fighting over it. I asked for counseling last month and she finally agreed. Backstory. She had a year off for mat leave, went back to work last April and from what I can tell her mental health started to deteriorate shortly after (postpartum??). crying after dropping the baby off at daycare type of thing. Fast forward a
  16. So my boyfriend and I have recently been discussing marriage quite a bit as we've now been together for coming up on 4 years. He's implied that maybe within the next year or so I can expect a proposal, which is great and I can't wait to marry him. However, when I mentioned to him that I've always wanted to go to pre-marital counseling before getting married he seemed pretty against it. He said that he can't imagine what a therapist could possibly say to us that we wouldn't already know. I told him the point is that he doesn't know what they might say, and that I've heard from multiple married
  17. Thank you for reading. My question is--as an objective observer, do you think I have a chance with this man? Two days ago my boyfriend broke up with me after 2+ years of a good thing. We never fought, we were comfortable im being ourselves with each other, we traveled. I made a point of making special Wednesday dinners with desserts where we would just enjoy each other--no tv, every weekend we went on a date. I spent the weekends at his house. In short, it was good. Only crack in the veneer was we had decided to move in together a month before our 2 year anniversary and he changed his mind say
  18. Backstory : My husband and I have been married for two years. This behaviour began after our wedding and has gotten progressively worse in the past year. I will try to keep this as short as possible, although it won't be. Throughout our marriage, I have repeatedly caught my husband using social media to talk to women. He has lied about the majority of these accounts, claiming he never had them. Repeatedly denied he was doing until shown proof, etc. He was always sorry, and it would never happen again. So trust has always been an issue but ue qtleast seemed genuinely sorry. About a year a
  19. Hi everyone. I have posted here a couple of times concerning my boyfriend and two occurrences we have had in our relationship with him being less than honest with me concerning other women (I will never know to what extent he carried through with them on a physical level, nor do I really want to at this point). He also admitted he was less than honest with his ex-wife .... dating other women when they were suppose to be working on their marital issues. Of course .... this all gave me tremendous 'cause for pause' ... but I have proceeded forward with him, albeit cautiously, because I truly
  20. Hello everyone, I have been having a bit a strange urge to cut myself. I don't know why exactly I keep having this feeling... A bit of background without getting into too much detail: -21 years old/f -Finally feel like I have my life together...super happy with everything really to be honest -Have experienced verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual assault in the past. -Have had bouts of generalised anxiety for months at a time (no longer have them anymore) -Recently had a very dark bout of depression a couple months ago (2 months to be exact) but it has since truly 'cleared u
  21. I'm having trouble getting over a divorce that I initiated. A summary of our 9 years together goes like this: Our first year was great. Then I started an old habit back up - online gaming. Most nights I let her go to bed alone, while I stayed up playing on my computer. I'd play other times as well. She blew it off at first but then started confronting me about it. At the time, all I heard was nagging. I resented her for it. I was too hooked on the game, emotionally immature and proud to do anything but get pissed at her. I started looking forward to her being gone, so I could do as I
  22. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. Im in desperate need of some advice. I am almost 30 weeks pregnant with my second baby and have a 16 month old that I stay at home with and care for full time. My partner (whom Ive been with for 4 years is 6 years younger than me) has been battling with drug addiction since he was 18. He kept this a secret from me until we were dating for a year a half since at the time, he was in recovery. We fell pregnant with our first son after only being together for 2 years. I was hesitant to have a baby with Jack (my partner) since of his up and d
  23. Hey. I'm sure many of you out there also have experienced bouts of anxiety. I've realized that I've had anxiety pretty much my entire life and I have health with it in numerous ways. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. I've been trying to reshape my perspective on many things in my life. I have been dealing with depression for several years now. It's especially rough in the winter months and typically levels out in the summer. This past year has been a lot of up and down but I feel like I'm at a turning point in my life. As summer is approaching I can also feel naturally my
  24. You guys know the story. I met a fantastic woman at work who was leaving her husband. She has a great sense of humor, pretty, and intelligent. Our friendship, of course, grows into something more. It has been an unbelievably great 5 months. The things she had been through were just disgusting. She had been with him since she was 14, he was 17, and starting high school. She wasn't allowed to get her drivers license! She's 36 and just got it for the first time 2 months ago! I remember all the bruises on her at work, long sleeves in hot weather, etc etc. They have 3 kids all teenagers, who hate h
  25. I'll start off by saying this is my first post so I apologize for any formatting errors. So, as the title says, my husband recently admitted to having feelings for a female friend of his. This girl is a mutual friend of ours, who he has known for many years. She is also dating his best friend. Our marriage has been rocky lately to say the least. Over the Thanksgiving holidays he went back to our hometown to visit friends and family (I could not join because of work conflicts). While he was there, he called me one morning telling me that neither of us were happy and he was going to divorce m
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