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Found 5 results

  1. I just went on a date with a guy that I met online. I was really excited about meeting him because we've been talking every day for a week and even spoke on the phone for HOURS. I knew it wouldn't be a long-term thing because he hit some of my major dealbreakers (drug addict and dealer), but was still pretty interested in meeting him because he seemed really nice and chill and I wanted to just give it a shot. Then comes the day of the date. We decided to go to a bar near his house to play games and just hang out. Within five minutes, his friend calls and he picks it up. I jokingly commented about how that was rude and he just admitted he *was* being an a-hole. Then, he tells me we have to meet his friend (and some girl his friend is with) at his apartment to let them in. I said I didn't feel that comfortable about going there yet, but he said it'll be really quick. We end up in his apartment with no sign we're going back to the bar any time soon. End up being there for close to 30 minutes and most of that time, he's doing drugs (not the light stuff) in his room with the girl who was with his friend (and she was also being really flirty with him) and left me out in his living room all alone because I didn't even want to be in his house in the first place, and legit didn't think we were going to be in there for more than 5 minutes. As soon as he finally comes out of his room, I tell him I'm leaving. I was SO mad at how much time I wasted on this guy who had to even convince me to go out with him (I didn't know if I was into it at first because of said deal breakers) to only be ignored for 45 minutes. It was the worst, most uncomfortable situation I've ever been in. After I left, I ended up meeting with friends who were already out, got really drunk and ended up texting him how I felt. I pretty much tore him a new one for treating me like crap on our date. I normally would just dead the situation, but that "date" just made me so upset I couldn't even believe it was happening. The next day, he texted me saying I was a catfish and to update my profile because it was false advertising so he wasn't into me anyway. He's seen all of my social media too. I'm very self conscious about my appearance and him saying that really made me feel like crap. Nobody from an online dating app has ever said that about me before (I've probably been on close to like 100?) and in fact usually say I'm really pretty in person. I know none of you know what I look like in photos or in real life to be able to compare, but.... do you think this guy was just being rude because I rejected him? Or is it possible that I really don't look like my photos and people are just being nice to me because they want to get in my pants. I've been on apps for a long time and this is the first time I feel like I should delete them because I'm too ugly to be on them... **TLDR** A guy I went on a horrible date with said I was a catfish and this hasn't happened to me before. Is he being an douche or is it that he was actually upset that I don't look like my photos? Please share your stories.
  2. Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting into a lot of arguments; like more than 2 arguments a day. I know that it i is very unhealthy and I feel like no matter what I do its not good enough for him. Just yesterday I finally gained the confidence to tell him that my ex bestfriend who is a guy basically catfished me by some guy I used to have a huge thing for, this went on for almost a year and then another year later my ex bestfriend just told me that it was him all along, and keep in mind he just told me this a couple of weeks ago (I hope I didnt confuse you there). My boyfriend new about him and how he was my bestfriend and before I knew all about the catfishing he told me he didnt want me to talk to him anymore. I have been in a abusive toxic relationship before and to me this wasnt okay but I still did has he wished and stoped talking to him. Until my exbestfriend hit me up on day and told me he really needed to tell me something and how important it was- this is when he told me about how he catfished me. So last night I told him and he hung up on me so fast and I called him back and we were talking about it and now hes assuming that I never was bestfriends with him that I liked him and that I did all this stuff with him like slept with him, kissed him, had a relationship with him, all of that. I never had feelings for him ever. Hes so pessimistic and trys to catch something nonexistent trying to catch me in a lie when I am not lying about any of this what so ever. He keeps asking him question after question and being so disgusting about it to me. Calling me a liar. I told him I wanted to talk about this in person ( we are in a long distant relationship ) because I know how we get and I knew it would be better and easier for us but he didnt want to he kept pushing me to tell him. I blocked my ex bestfriends phone number and on snapchat I did not block him and honestly theres no reason I didnt block him. So now my boyfriend things that I am hiding something and that he thinks I deleted messges from him and I which is false and was so mad at me that I didnt block him. So when I finally did block him today after our huge argument last night about it he got mad and then said im hiding something since I blocked him. This is where I feel like I can never do anything right. And everytime I try to call him out on things I can tell hes lying but gets so furious and twists it on me when I try to go further with it. Like earlier today I recall him telling me that he blocked his ex awhile ago but he never did and then was mad about it and I told him that just shows something is up with you guys if you cant block your ex like I did with my bestfriend and then he never wants me to talk to other guys and he didnt want me to talk to my ex best friend anymore because of me talking about our problems but he went to another girl at his work today and talked about our problems. I love him so much and I know he loves me and cares for me back but he always gets everything so twisted and I dont know what to do or say anymore to make things better. We always say how we will try better but its always the same thing.
  3. I've been chatting to a guy online for about a year now. Anyway, I messaged him and it took him an hour and half to reply, which he has never taken that long, always been straight away. Before this i signed in, then signed back in about 2 hours later. The reason was because I was hoping I could had got a pre approved payment through PayPal to chat to him. He was chasing me a lot at the beginning so I know he's definitely interested in me. I'm thinking that he was thinking I was wanting to chat to someone else and not him because we was both online. He asked me if I like fishing, go fishing. I don't like it but there's a thing of fishing online by sending messages to a lot of other people. I know 100% he's not a scammer, catfishing. Does this seem like there's a possibility that my intuition is right, he was testing me? Thanks.
  4. My boyfriend and I have been dating online for over a year. We met online in a game and have hit off. We haven’t met yet but we planned to meet in Autumn. I catfished him for a few months because I wasn’t taking the relationship seriously until I realized he was being honest about his feelings and he wasn’t just putting on a persona. I came clean to him about catfishing him and he forgave me. We had a long talk about how we both felt afterwards and how we would proceed. He agreed to let the past be the past and so did I. Everything has been good on the surface but I have been having an overwhelming feeling of emptiness when I interact with him. We used to game together every day until we started to play a new game where he’d continuously compare me to one of his best friends who was way better at the game. I told him he had to lower his expectations because I wasn’t experienced enough at the game to play as well. One night he got extremely upset at the way I played because I kept messing up and we had to keep starting over. He decided that we should stop playing for the day. So we did. After that I couldn’t play the game without having a strong amount of anxiety because I felt pressured to play well so I told him I didn’t want to play anymore and how it made me feel. His response was that he was fine with not playing but at the same time he seemed relieved to not have to play the game anymore. Later on we tried some different games but he just seemed indifferent or like he was literally playing certain games solely for me but he got no enjoyment out of it. So I stopped playing online games with him all together because it just wasn’t fun anymore. We replaced playing games with watching movies and/or shows together. It’s nice but it’s not gaming. I’m a gamer at heart and I love doing it. Now we just play separately whenever we play games and if he’s online he won’t start talking to me until a certain time of day. Since this change we went from spending maybe 5 - 6 hours a day now it’s maybe 1 - 2 hours a day together. I talked to him about it and he seemed unbothered and happy about having more space so I accepted it as our new normal. But honestly it bothers me a lot and sometimes I feel like the less time I spend with him, the less I even care about having time with him because it seems like it doesn't phase him. Not only that but he doesn’t let me in as to what is going on with him as much as he used to. It seems like I am the last person to know if he's doing something differently or if he won't be spending any time with me for a day he'll have it planned ahead for a week or more but won't let me know until the day of or I'm left to figure out that we won't be spending any time together. He maintains that there's just certain things he wants to take care of on his own without having to rely on me or my opinion which I understand but I've told him it would be considerate to let me know since we've made a habit of spending time together each day and he just still doesn't do it. I enjoy spending time with him/talking to him and I do love him but I feel like I am settling for only getting pieces of him and if I continue to have a relationship with him beyond online dating this is what our relationship will be. Us literally only spending a few hours together and not being able to handle each other's presence beyond that. He lets me know he’s very appreciative of the space I allow him to have with no problem and I have given him the impression that I am okay with the space I give him because I've been afraid to step on his toes in anyway but it's irritating and it becoming more apparent every day that this is not the relationship I want. I’m conflicted because I feel like I am being selfish if I oppose anything in our relationship. I have brought up problems in the past and he’s always willing to work them through with me and always very sweet and considerate when I bring up a problem but outside of that and saying I love you, he doesn't really show that he cares all that much. He's just the type of person where if it doesn't affect him then everything is fine and I feel like I mess up his flow if I say something that isn't positive. He hardly ever says he has a problem with our relationship in any way and that’s the biggest red flag to me because in his past relationship he let it go on for a whole year of not interacting with his ex before breaking up. I’m worried that this is exactly what he’s doing. Just holding onto our relationship out of convenience because I make it easy for him. I feel like I owe him to at least stay until we meet since he forgave me for catfishing. But I just don’t see myself having a happy life with him anymore and I’ve been looking for a way out of the relationship. I see myself happier being single and this relationship feels like a burden. He’s not a bad boyfriend at all. I just don’t feel fulfilled. I just don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any advice?
  5. In November my husband started acting differently. I knew something was wrong and had the same sinking feeling I would get anytime I was in a relationship with someone who was cheating. I had no proof for a while but the terrible feeling wasn't going away. I found underwear with cum on them in the laundry pile. Then there were no underwear in the laundry at all. My suspicions grew more and more. I started to look for more evidence of cheating when he said he was depressed and needed to spend time away from the house and away from me. I found a note he had written with a date, and his signature that said, "I love you" and a girl's name. He got a nude calendar in the mail that he said he didn't order. I questioned him about the note. He said he had been "catfished" online. He said she wasn't who she said she was and it was obvious that a picture she sent him had been photoshopped. I started looking through his phone. They had been talking and he installed an app so they could talk privately when she asked him to. So, I never saw the private conversations in the app. But, I did see her asking him to visit her in Portland. I saw cute sweet messages between the two of them. He had been having people take pictures of him at work and said they were for a Christmas calendar for me, which I later found out was a lie. He disappeared one day for a whole day and I found out he was purchasing gift cards. When I asked him about it, he said it was for his uncle who was having an affair. I later found out he purchased the gift cards for her, and called her with the numbers so she could use them. One was a Sephora gift card and the other was a Visa gift card. His phone had tons of pictures of her (or who he thought was her) and none of me. The person he thought she was is a model. He continued to talk to her even after he knew she was "catfishing" him and didn't stop for a while. He has a porn addiction and I think this was more wanting what he can't have. After he spent hundreds of dollars on a stranger, he bought me a cheap costume jewelry necklace for Christmas. I have tried to forgive him but there were so many lies and he has yet to do anything even similar to what he did for her. He still has no pictures of me on his phone. He continued to lie to me about his porn addiction. His history on his phone shows he visits porn sites multiple times a day. We can't have sex because he has erectile dysfunction. I ask him can he cum to porn and his answer is only sometimes. I ask him why he wants to visit porn sites so much if he can't cum and his answer is out of habit. I have tried watching porn with him and sometimes that helps his performance. He says he wants me and that it isn't me. We have also tried the little blue pill without success. I don't know if I can trust him and all of this has made me feel unwanted. He hasn't actually cheated on me but the lies made it so much worse because I thought he was cheating when he was lying. I told him if I catch him being sneaky doing anything he knows I wouldn't approve of and then lying about it that I will leave. I know from past experience that I need to have boundaries and stick to them. I just would like an outside opinion on all of this.
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