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  1. My parents are now ageing and since 1994, have created a very lucrative business that has changed their lives (from having not much to having quite a lot) and given us a wealthier and comfortable living growing up. They run a company that specializes in chemicals and laboratory equipment. They supply to top manufacturing companies, schools, labs etc. So now they really want me 27 (F) to come to their work officially and see what they do, even though I obviously already know. And they want me to eventually run the business. I have been doing my own thing for years. I've been in and out of jobs etc and learning some skills along the way. I majored in Geography and also have an Honours degree in Literature (I think you know where this is going). I graduated a while ago. Couldn't really find what I wanted to do. Was kind of lost for most of my young adult life. Just making money from various jobs that didn't make me feel happy in life. So last year I did some research on Digital and Content Writing and Marketing. And it spoke to me. I love the internet, media and I love writing etc I loved the idea of maybe pursuing a late career in that. I came up with a few leads and even got a certified course on it. Then just when I am finally discovering myself after all these years (I'm not getting any younger), my parents hit me with a talk about working in the family business for the future of the company and myself. I'm just so stressed out now. What they do is completely different from my path. And at the same time they are getting old and I don't want to disappoint them and let the business die because of me. There is also the idea of money. I will have a much more stable income at the family business than chasing a young and uncertain career path. The pressure is unbearable and I don't know how I can balance it all. help?
  2. Hello and thank you for visiting my topic. I wanted to share this story and get some opinions for a long time. I am living and working in a third world country that has no promising life opportunities, no future and no dreams. So for a while now, especially after the Coronavirus epidemic, I started considering working abroad in a beautiful, safe city with a good quality of life. I just graduated as a software engineer and so far, I have been independant in my career. I got my two internships by myself, after some interviews and the same thing goes for my first and current job. The fact that I did not need any help and that my skills got me those opportunities makes me feel proud and believe that I can get a job abroad. But the thing is, I already have a brother, older than me by 7 years who is working in Tokyo, which is the number one city in my dream list. And the company in which he is working is my uncle's company. I had plans to join him there when I started going to college, but it changed when he started encountering problems due to his bad attitude in work. I actually don't get along with my brother at all, because he is short-tempered and egocentric and his personnality caused him lots of problems in the company. Well, that happens in any kind of work but things got ugly so quickly and my brother broke the record. He had an argument with almost everyone in his team, his manager and even my uncle, the CEO of the company. My father who is in very good terms with my uncle, always keeps giving my brother advices on how to behave but it lasted for 3 years while I am still studying and my parents became so stressed out because each time something happens, he calls them and starts whining about how they were the ones who made him join the company, when in reality it was his decision because, just like me, he wanted to work in Tokyo. Later, my brother told my parents that he will resign, which made my dad furious because he feared that his relationship with my uncle will never be the same because of his foolish son. In the end, my brother did not resign and I think that was because he knows that he will never find a better job. Still, he never took responsability of his actions and believes that his actions were always right and everything that is happening is because of his coworkers. My father on the other hand, started cherishing his relationship with my uncle more than necessary. When my uncle comes back for vaccations, my father goes and spends almost all of the day with him and forgets about my mother. He always messes around with my cousin, jokes playfully with him, which he never does with me or my brother. He takes out his stress and rage on my mom, but keeps the smiles and the great attitude to my uncle's family. I still remember the day in summer when my uncle and his wife celebrated their marrige birthday with my father, and right after he returned from the party, he had a fight with my mother for no reason. It was disgusting to watch my old man behaving so cheefully with a different family and not ours, even though we haven't done anything wrong. It became so toxic in no time, and I was observing all of this and after I had seen enough, I decided that I am never going to work in my uncle's company, because that will make things worse for all of us. My father might take the ass-kissing to a higher degree, my mother will suffer from her husband behaviour and all of my future career decisions will have to go through my uncle and my father first. My father always brings up the subject on working in Tokyo with my uncle, and I told him so many times straight away that I want to get my jobs by myself and not because I am the son of the CEO's favorite brother. What's making me feel mad is that I get the impression that his goal is not to guarantee a good career for me but to make my uncle feel that we need him so he can feel good and proud. Unfortunately I confirmed it myself when I had a talk with my father and told him that my dream is to work in Tokyo, and Imagine what he told me ? " Well, you know, it's hard out there in Tokyo for you. Also imagine what would your uncle think if you worked there in a different company .." You see ? He always gives a damn to my uncle's slightest thoughts before giving a damn to his own family, the family that he created. It's not like I will do my uncle any harm by going there and working in a different company, the city has over a 14 millions population to begin with. It's really a shame that things were not different. Otherwise I would be there right now, in Tokyo and end of story. But my father and my brother are the main reasons why I am not joining that company anytime soon. I want to walk my own path, with my own skills. What do you guys think ? Am I doing the right thing ? Has any of you been in a similar situation ? Thank you so much for reading this topic
  3. Hey y'all! Just for those that don't know me yet, I'm a 36-year-old woman and I live in a big city in Australia. When I was 13 years old, I was bullied at school and I started speaking to my high school counsellor. I thought she was really nice and helpful and I decided that when I "grow up", I wanted to have her job. In the last two years of high school I decided to study psychology, which I really enjoyed. I actually had a two hour long assessment once in my late 20's with a psychiatrist specialising in ADHD. I'd shown some milder symptoms of ADHD and my other psychiatrist suggested I do the assessment. It came out of the assessment that I probably do have it. But was not advised to take dexamthetamines due to having had mental health issues which are likely to be made worse by stimulant medication. So, couldn't really do much regarding the ADHD medication wise. I also wasn't 100% sure if I really had it because the psychiatrist didn't say it was 100% certain, but likely. I struggled really badly at university with concentration and time management. I did notice even pre mobile/cell phones or any social media that I couldn't really focus on reading text books. I'd sit in a cubicle in the library and keep reading the same page but it didn't seem to be sinking in that well. I didn't have a cell phone to distract me and I was alone, so I didn't actually have anything getting in the way of the reading. I couldn't focus on doing assignments except when I did them the night before or on the day they were due. Then I felt this surge of anxiety and stress that it had to be done and very quickly I would hone in on it and do it all in literally one go. I wouldn't sleep all night and I'd get it done. I was really good at writing and I got OK marks. I could have gotten pretty high marks I think if I didn't do everything at the last minute. I'm also obsessed with shopping and shop impulsively. I also am very bad at organising my house and hoard stuff. Anyway, it took me a long time but I got my university degree, a Bachelor of Arts with psychology major. I didn't continue to study psychology because it required a huge amount of statistics and data, and I was actually really bad at it. I hardly passed the statistics. I also took some time off my degree and I got qualifications at community college (TAFE). I got a Certificate 4 in Mental Health and Drugs and Alcohol and a Diploma of Disability. I really liked community college because it suited my learning struggles. It was very hands on where most of the assignments were very directly work related. E.g. Doing a presentation about a particular mental health service, presenting a case management plan for a fake client, things like that. There were a lot of role plays, where one person was the worker and one acted as the client and you practice actual techniques. You could also submit work late and as long as the work was satisfactory, you still passed. Eight years ago I did some volunteer work with a church mental health programme and in an art programme for people with disability. From there I got references and got actual paid work. Since 2013 I've been working in not-for-profit mental health/disability services as a support worker. I've been in my current job for five years. I really enjoy helping people but I've been finding my job a bit monotonous and boring. I also don't work on a team, only one-on-one with clients in their home or out in the community. I was thinking that I wanted to get a higher and more varied role. Like counsellor or case manager. I started thinking that I'd like to do a Masters of Social Work. In the last few weeks I got this E-mail from my previous university because I'm an alumni there. They were writing that the government is actually paying for some post graduate courses because this work is in high demand. There was a Postgraduate Diploma of Counselling which is free to do. Normally courses are not free. You can borrow money from the government. You get a loan in the sense that the government pays for your course. But once you work and start earning over $50, 000 per year, the government takes 10% from each pay until all the debt was paid off. This is an automatic deduction which you can't control and the money just gets taken from your pay. So I began thinking I could do this free counselling course. But I'm a little worried because the only work you can do with those subjects is counselling. It's not a social work degree, which allows you to apply for a large variety of roles, like case manager, etc. If I finish it but I find that doing actual counselling is not for me, I might be back to square one. It's a lot of effort for me to study and do the assignments due to my concentration issues. I mean, I can do it but it's not a piece of cake. I want to try counselling but I'm also wondering if I have the right personality for it. I think I'm a very caring person and have done well in my support worker jobs. But it's not counselling in the sense that I have to mostly just listen to people. I'm actually very talkative and bubbly and in my own personal conversations with friends and family I talk a lot. I was worried that I might struggle to just be mostly silent in counselling work and only listen to others. On the other hand, the course is free and that is a big advantage. I already have a huge education debt with the government because I failed many subjects in my university degree, but I still have to pay for them because I didn't withdraw from the unit. I also put my whole Diploma of Disability on the loan, which was maybe about $6000. The university degree is probably about $20, 000+. It seems good to do something for free but of course it requires time. And I am still working at my job too, but it's an online course. Any thoughts or suggestions? How am I doing on here? Do you think I have any potential to be a counsellor?
  4. Hello everyone and thank you for visiting this topic. My family is facing some problems right now related to my father behavior. Currently I am 24 years old and I am working remotely from home, living with my father and my mother. My older sister is married and my middle brother works abroad and I am the little son. The problem I am going to talk about does not involve bullying or anything of that kind, it's just something that is becoming annoying and I wish I could find a solution. My father is a retired man, taking good care of all of us. He has a little brother, who is the CEO of the company where my brother is employed. Of course he got him this job and it's been nearly 5 years. Since then, I am feeling like my father is becoming so needy, pleaser and clingy to my uncle. All of us noticed it. He wants to involve him in any kind of subject : If I am looking for an internship, he insists that we should take his advice. If I got an offer from some company or whatever, he wants me to share it with him. That's the case for all of the family members and not only me : For example, lately my brother came back for some vacations with us and he noticed that my uncle bought a new car, so he casually said that the car is good, but he didn't even take a good look at it. Later in the same day, my uncle called my father and guess what my old man told him ? He said that my brother was overwhelmed by the car and he wanted to wash it and drive it so much that he went crazy ... I hope you see my point here. Things are escalating and it's becoming ass kissing. He also treats my uncle's son, my cousin way better than he ever treated us. He is so friendly towards him and always jokes with him. He barely does that with me or my brother. My uncle never treats me, or my brother in that way, I respect him so much and we get along, but not in a friendly way. the same thing goes with my uncle's wife, which annoys my mother so much. I just can't stand it anymore. He makes us feel like lackeys. He just abandons all self worth and confidence and makes us look pathetic. I am 100% sure that if he had to choose between his family and his brother, he would go for his brother. He wants me to join my uncle's company so much too, which I never intend to do if this keeps up, because the ass kissing will evolve and that's the last thing I want. Even when I mentioned that I want to work in Japan, where my brother works, but in a different company, he tried to convince me not to because there is a possibility that my uncle will get mad because I went there without his approval and not in his company ... What the hell was that ? Believe me, it's driving me crazy even though I am a calm person. That is my decision to make and my uncle is not my father ! He did not help me in any way throughout my studies and I don't owe him anything, why the hell should I give up on something I want to experience or try, just to satisfy him ? You see ? I want to let out my anger at my father for his behavior. I want to yell at him so much to the point I am sure that It will end up with a serious argument and fight. Believe me it's affecting even my mental health. I will be graduating soon but my thoughts are concentrated on this instead of my graduation project. Finally, thank you so much for reading this towards the end. What do you suggest I do ? What do you think of my situation ? Thank you in advance
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