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  1. I (28 f) met my friend (29 M) on a solotrip last year to a tropical country short after fleeing an abusive rel 2 months before the wedding. Friend n I met since day1 n we spent most of the trip together with his sister n he he helped me with lits of things I felt early on his attraction to me n brushed it off ( low self-esteem) one night we both got tipsy in the absence of his sister, I fell asleep n woke up to him touching me. he did it again though I said no I got up n lectured him abt consent n he was very apologetic n didn't try again. 2 days later I was tipsy n don't remember how but we went to 3rd base but consentually this time tho I didn't enjoy it. I also felt his jealousy tho he hid it when I met n him out with other people tho I invited him everywhere. He was kinda right tho cause one of these guys ended up coming onto me. last day of the trip we had a lovely conversation n had a simple goodbye kiss. We kept in touch eversince regularly n talked on the phone but it as purely friendly expect a few times telling me he's impressed how smart n cultivated I am n once that I'm very sexy. We were planning since the start to meet again this year mainly me visiting him in Europe( he's a native MEast/ european) but I couldn't due to visa n financial issues, he suggested meeting me in a country near mine later this year cause I told him I'm going there to visit a relative, a week ago he told me he's planning to visit my country next week for a few days since he was attending a wedding in a country nearby. Mind you he'd just gone back from a long vacation.. I was a bit surprised for the short notice but very excited to meet again nd be a tourist in my own country having had the worst year in my life so far n barely leaving the house. I helped him book 2 days in a hotel in my town then booked 2 days in a BNB in a nearby coastal town. We booked a triple bed room n it was my suggestion cause I can't afford to book my own n can't dare to have him pay for mine. Despite my excitement I can't help being concerned he's gonna come on to me n expect similar things to happen like last year. I've serious issues with boundaries n confrontation with a PTSD from previous SA n never had actual $eggs n don't want to have it anytime soon. However I fear I'm gonna give in to it even if i know I'm gonna dread for the before mentioned reason plus not being attracted to him. What should I do? n how to act ? knowin I actually appreciate him as a friend n his kindness towards me.
  2. Fading fast are the days when an end to a long-term relationship meant being broken-hearted and alone for eternity, as these days dating for mature singles can be an exciting exploration of new connections and untapped potential. Nevertheless, it can also be difficult and daunting, especially for those who haven’t dated for a while. Here are some tips to help those newly immersed in the dating pool gently begin their journey: 1. Acceptance: Accept that relationships will change and grow over time, just like anything else. It is natural and normal that your relationship evolve and even come to an end. Rather than being bitter or hurt, celebrate the elements of your previous relationship which brought joy and growth into your life. 2. Self-reflection: Mourn the loss of your relationship and use this time to look inwardly into yourself and what you want from your future. Revisit your values, goals and expectations, spend some time alone and explore new activities. 3. Set Boundaries: Understand what you need, want and don’t want in order to be healthy and happy in your new relationships and make sure your partners respect these boundaries. 4. Don't Rush: Although it can be tempting to jump right back into dating after a long-term relationship has ended, take time to just enjoy being single and explore the world around you: rediscover friends and family, nurture yourself, start new hobbies or interests - anything that recharges you. 5. Move at your own Pace: Don’t compare your current relationships to ones you had in the past and move at your own, comfortable pace when it comes to all things dating: going on dates, becoming intimate, forming relationships etc. 6. Kindness: When pushing out of your comfort zone, it is helpful to keep reminded that kindness and self-love are paramount in dating after a long term relationship. Speak kindly to yourself and hold your standards equally for yourself as for potential partners. 7. Get Support: Talk to good friends, family and therapists if you feel scared or lonely to help gain perspective and understanding. 8. Get Out There: It is sometimes useful to find activities or events which are naturally social so you can meet new people in a relaxed and low-pressure environment. When dating after a long-term relationship has ended, it is important to remember that the path of dating is full of new possibilities and opportunities. Put your best foot forward, remain compassionate and kind to yourself and others, and continue to trust that you’ll find someone wonderful to share your life with.
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