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  1. For months I have been thinking about the same thing but not able to get to a conclusion. I would love your help. There is this guy, and we have been friends for a few years, and then one year back, I started having feelings for him. I thought about telling him but didn't want to jeopardize our friendship. In the last few months, we have been pretty close, like talking for 3-4 hrs and then one night during a one-night stay with friends we got drunk and kissed each other and next day we both decided not to do anything about it as if it just happened in the flow. Still, after one month, we met at my place, watched a movie, had little alcohol, and kissed again but this time I told him through text that I had feelings for him, and his response was a thank-you for telling me, but nothing can happen between us, and then we only talk once a month or when we have some work or when we meet our friends together. I do miss our old friendship, but it is now very weird talking to him. I don't know should I keep my friendship with him or move on because he still affects me.
  2. Before I start I just want it to be known that I am still a closeted bisexual and she has an ongoing relationship with her boyfriend of 4 years. Ok so, I recently met this girl a year ago and we quickly formed a huge emotional connection as we instantly felt comfortable around each other and became really close within a short amount of time. Within the first few times of us seeing each other (through mutual friends) we had cuddled, kissed (on the lips) but that was all when we were both intoxicated, bare in mind we barely knew each other at this stage. I invited her into my girl friendship group and we started to become even more closer with each other. She would wrap her arms around my neck and hug me in public and I would hold her from behind. One night, we were snap chatting each other and she said something very suggestive to me. I was talking about her dog ***ting being jokingly sexy and to which she replied with "you know what else is sexy? Underneath these covers" (implying herself) and that put me in utter shock. Sure, friends like to joke around a lot but that was pretty ***ing bold. I responded back to her and she told me "you have to wait to see" ????? And now ever since the start of our new friendship, we constantly like to touch each other and flirt (only over text) with each other. She would talk about me not holding her hand, cuddling, how I belong to her and nobody else, and she would just say a lot of things what would involve her being possessive over me. But when it comes to face-to-face, we're nowhere near as affectionate and bold we are over text. Instead, we like to insult each other in like our banter way. When we sleep together, it is always us two in a bed cuddling and leaving no space between us. At almost all times I will be either spooning her or her body would be directly on top of me and I would give her back scratches and run my fingers through her hair. Sometimes I would notice when in an party/crowded environment and I would go off with a boy/hug a girl directly in front of her she would glare at me when I return back to her. Now, everytime we see each other we hug and kiss each other on the lips goodbye. She does all this but at the same time, she jokes about getting boy strangers numbers for me and would even joke about me being lesbian. She still would talk about her boyfriend but also tells me about the fights they have and how mad she gets. We have even cried to each other on how special we mean to each other despite only knowing each other for a year. She says she has a "soft spot" for me. Am I reading all of this wrong? Is she being confusing? Do we just have a deep emotional connection? I'm not sure what direction to take this friendship into, please help me!
  3. I started writing this as a reply to super old thread (link) but it said I should start a new topic. The story in the link is very similar to mine. Yet a bit different. I am about to tell you about relationship with my best friend that I love more than I can bear. I don't know. She is a straight girl and I was also always attracted to men, yet a bit less since I am somewhere on the asexual spectre. I don't know how to call her since "best friend" doesn't sound right, it's more like we're soulmates or whatever. I don't think there's a word for how we feel, that is. We're the most important people for each other yet we're definitely not lesbians. Not even bi. We do like touching each other yet there's a boundry when it never gets sexual. We hug and we casually touch but that's like it. But the feelings go deeper. Way way deeper. (I don't know if this is important information, but she's single and unable to find boyfriend for about 4 years by now, since she doesn't like anyone enough even though she's trying hard, she just compares them to me. I was in 7 year long relationship that ended recently, there was other issues and different story but I am not even that sad because somehow I know I have her. And yeah, I can hear how crazy this paragraph sounds.) The thing with me and my "best friend" (as if these words could describe the bond I have with this person...) is something super special. We never have enough of each other and we love each other unconditionally and openly (and not sexually). A day without texting each other feels weird, even though I don't quite get how come that after all this time we never run out of things to talk about. We also bring out the independent and lively personas of each other whenever we're together. Or even whenever we text. We very often finish each other's thought even before something essential is said, later on wondering why do we even talk when we just can keep reading each other's mind. I didn't just recently met her. We've known each other for 15 years already. Since we we're about 11-years-old kids and we started being best friends the second we met. There were ups and downs over the years, we even had this one fight when we stopped talking to each other for a whole year, but "fate" brought us back together (when we applied for high schools, while not being friends at that time, somehow it happened that our high schools ended up to be next to each other so we were meeting every morning on the bus while going there... by this we started slowly reviving our friendship). This gap made our friendship stronger (by not taking the other for granted). It was around when we were 17 when I realized I loved her. But in a weird way I wasn't able to describe. I didn't want to date her... I just wanted her to be the happiest as she could ever be, no matter what would that mean for me. At that time I would sacrifice my life just for her to be happy. She got a boyfriend and I was not jealous of him but I was pretty angry by the way he treated her. He didn't deserve her yet she was head over heels with him, blind to his bad qualities. But I didn't interfere for I knew that I don't love her that way, yet I knew I loved her even more. Hard to describe, you know. There was nothing sexual to it yet I wanted to have her for myself. That felt pretty selfish of me. I was scared by this feeling and kept this to myself, trying to figure it out, even though I've never kept anything from her until that time, that was my first secret. But there she went - one day she said she loves me. I was moved to tears. Yet I found myself shamefully thinking "but you don't love me as much as you love him." I said that out loud because we were always pretty open about our feelings and she replied "I love you more than anyone in this world." That's when I knew that our special bond is mutual and for a while it was enough. But then it went on hard to bear. I was always thinking about her and wanting to spend every second with her (even though I'm quite the shut-down introvert) and this love felt so heavy. I managed to stop it, though. By finding a boyfriend, too. And while I was enjoying this new ("healthy") relationship, we grew a bit apart with this best friend of mine. We didn't have as much time to hang out as we used to, we still did, like once in a two or three months, but it was so different from our life that we lived always together until now. It went on like this for few years and sometimes, she got emotional and told me how sad she is that we're not like we used to be. We always talked about it and decided that it's just that we just aren't kids anymore. We decided that we're just being nostalgic. Then she broke up with her boyfriend after few years and suddenly happened to have no close person around. I had a "new life" where we didn't hang out as much and she felt pretty lonely. She tried finding a new boyfriend or new friends, she definitely was trying hard, but never managed to build a deeper connection with anyone again. At some point I started seeing her pretty often again. I don't remember what was the impulse or what but we we're hanging out again. Not everyday like we used to since that's not possible while working and having a relationship (me) but twice a month suddenly felt often enough, while we also started texting everyday. Our connection came to life once again and it felt like it was never gone. Soon enough we found ourselves loving each other again. I realized that the feelings for her I had 7 years ago are back. And probably even stronger. Or that they never went away, Idk. There wasn't any issue with jealousy though, we always felt happy for the other whenever hanging out with other friends. But that was probably because we knew each other too well and known pretty well that being with other friends is nothing like when we're together, me and her. She didn't get along with any other friend as she did with me and that's why she didn't enjoy it as much. It was similar with me, too. Our friendship was just different. It always was different. It was even different than being with our boyfriends... it was just too special and undescribable. And way more precious. We always discussed that it probably isn't right that we feel this way. But we couldn't help it. And in a way, we loved it. So, to finish this story that is longer than I had planned, lately we discuss our bond a lot. That's also why I went on and started googling if there are such cases of relationship stronger than friendship but with no sexual attraction involved. Then decided to share our story. Lately, I started spending the nights at her place (since she lives alone and I still lived with my boyfriend... now ex-bf) and we did snuggle at night, we love hugging each other and often find ourselves just casually leaning on each other, usually not even realising. Yet that's it for both of us - she's perfectly straight and I am, well, greysexual. But we both always been attracted to men only and I even tried imagining doing things with girls (after doubting myself after realising these feeling I have for her), yet I don't like that. But even though I don't want to touch girls, I love touching her. I can even imagine kissing her. But that's the boundry. And when I'm at it, I think her boundry is even higher - just at the point of hugging and other casual touching. I don't think she would be comfortable with kissing me. But I don't know, that is something we somehow didn't talk about yet. The feelings and emotions are pretty strong though and I know that is mutual. She even told me last time when drunk, "I don't think you realize how much I love you," and I replied with a cynical laugh and "I don't think you realize, I think I love you way more than you could ever love me," and that's our little game where we always get all emotional and touched and we both really love these moments, even though while being sober we both are personalities more closed up about feelings generally. What I wanted to share by all this, I wanted to say that this is getting out of hand. I keep thinking about her randomly throughout the day, I keep writing her every little thing that happens to me and I keep randomly visiting her just to have a little chat for a bit. She does the same. I think I love her. I mean, I think I love more than I could ever love anyone again in this life and that is making me crazy. I don't ever want to lose her. But she's perfectly straight and that's what scares me. That one day, when she manages to find boyfriend again, the history will repeat. I don't want to lose her ever again. And while I am almost asexual and I can imagine being with her only for the rest of my life, I think that is pretty selfish of me and that she wouldn't want that and/or that it wouldn't be enough for her. I don't want to keep her from being happy so I am encouraging her in finding boyfriend... yet I don't want that. And I do talk about it with her, share my feelings (because what I learnt from what I lacked in the last 7 years long relationship - communication is the most important thing) and she ensures me that noone can ever replace me. At that point, she even told me: "I hate you, you know. I can't find boyfriend because of the connection I have with you - I keep seeking that in them yet I know I can never find this with anyone else." And I feel bad for how such statements make me happy. I just don't know where to go on from here on. What is the right path to take. I know I love her. I know she loves me. But we both lack the sexual aspect of it, and she does like getting sexual with guys. (While I don't really need it.) And it's making both of us pretty confused of what our relationship is. And what to do about it next...
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