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About Me

  1. i find it difficult to believe that those that have never walked in these shoes could ever fully understand what this is like. but really...i think it would be impossible for you to not understand certain aspects. it's still strange for me to talk about this. there are very few people that seem to get it. a choice in itself. to get it...is to open one's being to that same vulnerability. perhaps i've been conditioned by the general reaction. there are ALWAYS undertones that this whole process was a choice. alas, to choose misery would be a madness. in some respects...it was a choice. the in
  2. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now, and he has admitted he has a porn addiction, but he doesn't want to get help. He told me watching porn and looking at women (Twitter, Instagram, onlyfans, reddit) is a comfort thing for him, and it isn't him seeking something he isn't getting at home. Which I don't understand. He said it doesn't turn him on all the time, it's just something he has been doing for years and it's hard for him to stop. This has been a conversation of ours for a few months now, when I found a second Twitter account where he was commenting on other wo
  3. Something I haven't written about here is that I've been an alcoholic since I was a teenager (I'm 36). Alcoholism runs in my family. My Mum's brother and Dad's father were alcoholics all their life. However I wasn't close to them at all and hardly knew them. My Dad literally never drank because he resented his father's drinking. My Mum hated her brother for his drinking and drinks very rarely and minimally. I started drinking as a teenager because I guess it's a big part of young people's culture here in Australia. Straight away I seemed to have an addiction to it (maybe genetic) and it's
  4. Hi I never liked the men in my life to look at porn once we were together and after having been married to a secret porn addict (he was looking at it whenever he could I think), I just don't know if I can agree to go out with someone again. Yes, the sexless or very depressing sex life which exists with a porn addict has scarred me, but my feelings about porn have existed since I was very young. I grew up on an army base and the way that porn and strip clubs reduce sex to a transaction disturbs me. I don't care what a guy did before we got together unless he was unfaithful to someone. I li
  5. Lately I’ve been struggling with my purpose and have been striking out with the few women I’ve asked out/went on dates with. I’ve been focusing on social media and trying to show myself to be more of value. It’s almost to the point where I plan the end of my week to do things so I can show it on social media. Like this weekend I want to go to the beach just so I can vlog it. It’s like I’m craving attention. The attention mostly from one girl. I need to get out more but I feel like I’m just gonna do it just so I can show it off. This girl I met on vacation and I have been talking so
  6. I have decided that I’m just not relationship material. I have a severe addiction to quack and honk. It’s all I think about. All I want to do is chase them demons that quack and honk. They haunt my dreams at night, when I’m at work or seasons closed I’m watching it on YouTube, working on decoys, tuning calls. Now I’m going through withdrawals because I can’t get any more quack or honk chasing again until September. Guess I’ll have to get my fix by getting some gobble and spitting and drumming in April.
  7. I've always known I had issues with things like depression and anxiety, but after turning 25 recently it hit me how dysfunctional I am in general and I'm not sure what the best steps are to take to get help. I grew up with an alcoholic narcissist mother (father wasn't there much) and she sent me away to a wilderness and boarding school program at age 16. After getting out at age 18 I didn't know how to adjust back to the real world and started smoking weed all day every day. I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now be
  8. I started cutting when I was about 7 or 8, my older cousin was doing it and I was getting bullied so I tried. I'm now 15, and well I've been 'clean' per say since August. But anytime I get sad or stressed or anxious(I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression, so all of the time bassically) I start to get what I can only describe as withdraw. I sweat heavily, I get cold and hot flashes, I get fevers and aches in my body. It feels like a tention migraine but it's in every single artery throbbing to the beat of my heart. It ends up being followed up by really bad thoughts and I ended up cutting an
  9. Found out my husband relapsed and was chatting with other women again. No one knows about his addiction and I’m feeling super isolated and hopeless. I guess just looking for some support...
  10. I've been dating this guy for around 5 months now. He is my first serious relationship as I wasn't that interested in serious dating before. He is my only sexual partner I've had and I'm his fourth. We're both 19. Before we started dating he watched porn like any other person. I also watched it before dating him, but after becoming sexually active I didn't really need it and started to find it a bit gross. He still kept watching it which didn't make me happy but I didn't think it was a big deal. It however started to feel like a problem after a couple months dating and the fact that he had
  11. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 years now, on and off. A little bit of background on us: He was diagnosed with bipolar type II about a year ago, though he doesn't seek regular help for it. He takes the medication he's given but doesn't seek therapy which has always concerned me. He's tried a few therapists in the past and none really clicked with him so he's given up on the notion entirely. He's in a very unique position job wise, he's a freelancer, and when he is working, it's usually away from home. He makes a substantial amount of money for the few months of work, then spends t
  12. Have you ever been a porn addict? Did you tell your partner? Did you love your partner any less? Has anyone been in a relationship with a porn addict?
  13. I have been with my boyfriend just over 2 years. He watches porn every day. He tells me about it . We went on vacation overseas and rather than have sex with me he wanted to watch porn. He works early shift and i work afternoon shift. By the time i get home he is too tired and ready for bed. At exactly this time last year, we went through a dry spell. And its happening again now. I suffer seasonal depression, (its winter here) and i think he might too. How can we fix this?? dont know what to do.
  14. I am a 36yo woman very attractive and succesful at work. I am married to a handsome man who treats me nicely and we have a kid. 7 months ago i started a sex based affair with a 30 yo co-worker to whom i am boss. He is also married has a kid and a pregnant wife. I have a very neat background in life... never done anything like that before...but i was bored and wanted to try something new and i thought it was just going to happen that only time. Now i am addicted...even though ive tryed to end this many times things keep happening. He is the one that keeps looking for me because the times ive tr
  15. Okay! It's been almost after 1.5 years I began dating a guy! This Guy had a crush on me and has confessed me in the beginning of this month. Initially I was reluctant to date him but he has somehow convinced me and forced me to reconsider his proposal, so after a series of his indirect request to date him, I began dating him about two weeks ago. Now all of a sudden he said he can't see any future with me at all, and he's sure of nothing is going to work out between us. He still loves his ex and have feelings for her (he was with her ex 3years ago) even after such a long time of separation fro
  16. Not really sure where to start. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years, I'm 20 and he's 25. During the time that we've been together, he's opened up about his issues with porn and i've always struggled to deal with this. He says that he started watching porn at a very young age, and became very compulsive about it, watching it multiple times a day. He has been trying to quit watching porn for 18 months now, however never makes it very long (generally a week or so at a time before binging again and starting all over again) and I'll often get sent messages about how he's "rela
  17. My boyfriend and I have recently been having issues lately about a couple things. He’s a great guy and it’s not end of the world arguments but it has led me to thinking if we are compatible. To explain. I am currently working on my masters in social work and have been sharing with him what I’ve been learning through my research and teachings. Anyways we find ourselves arguing about these bits of my learnings where he does not agree with it and tells me it is my opinion what I’m learning or that it is plainly not true. (Example topics: institutional racism, the homeless being lazy or drug a
  18. During the 5 days after I moved out of his house, suprisingly I only felt exhausted instead of being devastated . Had a few down moments but that was it. I thought I really loved him, how come I don't feel that bad after break-up? Anyway, last Saturday I went to his house to pick up the rest of my stuff. We were quiet friendly and he hugged me a few times. Then I mentioned that I wanted our sex tapes to be erased. He refused and told me he wanted to keep them. So we started fighting but he just wouldn't do it. I know he had a sex tape of his other ex gf and one time he even said if I would li
  19. Every time I want to buy I will post here and someone tell me NO! 🤦♀️
  20. I am starting a thread to document my progress out of a toxic and unsuitable relationship. I have had a lot of success with support forums in the past, for both quitting cigarettes and cannabis, so I am hoping that this forum will finally help me to break ties with my toxic toad. Even though this has been a cyber relationship, I thought I would post here in 'Healing after Break Up or Divorce' because that is the goal that I am aiming for. I have wasted so much time on this idiot, who gives pretty much nothing. He does not seem to want to take our friendship to any kind of next level, I thi
  21. I left my boyfriend last night and told him I needed space and wanted to stay at my mom's. I woke up at 5 AM worried about the future. I am supposed to go home for lunch and I was going to have a talk with him about his addiction. He smokes pot everyday and I found a straw with white powdery substance in the dining room on the floor so I think he is using other drugs too. I really want out.
  22. Im in a relationship with a woman, who I love with all my heart. Our past is scattered and riddled with breakups all boiling down to one thing. A serious drug addiction and the habits surrounding it have spoiled our good vibes. I have made a decision to leave the drugs behind for good. I have attended my first NA meeting just lastnight. The problem is that apparently I am a trigger for my girlfriend. She has associated my face,my presence with the drug use so much that it has caused her to not be intimate with me. I understand that this may be a defense mechanism, and not a personal choice
  23. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I found out a couple days ago that he has been lying to me about smoking for the entirety of our relationship. At first I was absolutely furious. I felt disrespected and humiliated. After thinking about it, I realized that he did not do this to spite me, but it's just an addiction. He told me he hid it from be because he didn't want to disappoint me, and honestly I get it. I love him with all my heart and I know he is the person I am supposed to be with. I don't want to throw away our relationship because of this, however I told him very clear
  24. I posted here in July. My world can do an end after finding out my guy had been going to massage parlors. For six months after we tried and yes I did lash out really bad at him. He finally had enough and left me last week and has turned cold as ice to me, I understand I had to get over it but how can he blame me for having been hurt and angry? I know it’s better but I really thought he was my best friend
  25. I just got ghosted from a 9-month relationship with a woman I deeply loved...it has been hard on me. I went to a therapist and was diagnosed as codependant - which I agree with. One of the exercises the therapist had me perform was to create a list of what I didn't like about the girl, and another list of why it was good to be rid of her - I was shocked about how bad she really was for me! Alchoholic, addicted to weed, her kids didnt like me, etc. So I now know she was the wrong person for me and brought nothing but drama, negativity, and pain into my life. But she keeps popping into my
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