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  1. Hello and thank you for visiting my topic. I wanted to share this story and get some opinions for a long time. I am living and working in a third world country that has no promising life opportunities, no future and no dreams. So for a while now, especially after the Coronavirus epidemic, I started considering working abroad in a beautiful, safe city with a good quality of life. I just graduated as a software engineer and so far, I have been independant in my career. I got my two internships by myself, after some interviews and the same thing goes for my first and current job. The fact that I did not need any help and that my skills got me those opportunities makes me feel proud and believe that I can get a job abroad. But the thing is, I already have a brother, older than me by 7 years who is working in Tokyo, which is the number one city in my dream list. And the company in which he is working is my uncle's company. I had plans to join him there when I started going to college, but it changed when he started encountering problems due to his bad attitude in work. I actually don't get along with my brother at all, because he is short-tempered and egocentric and his personnality caused him lots of problems in the company. Well, that happens in any kind of work but things got ugly so quickly and my brother broke the record. He had an argument with almost everyone in his team, his manager and even my uncle, the CEO of the company. My father who is in very good terms with my uncle, always keeps giving my brother advices on how to behave but it lasted for 3 years while I am still studying and my parents became so stressed out because each time something happens, he calls them and starts whining about how they were the ones who made him join the company, when in reality it was his decision because, just like me, he wanted to work in Tokyo. Later, my brother told my parents that he will resign, which made my dad furious because he feared that his relationship with my uncle will never be the same because of his foolish son. In the end, my brother did not resign and I think that was because he knows that he will never find a better job. Still, he never took responsability of his actions and believes that his actions were always right and everything that is happening is because of his coworkers. My father on the other hand, started cherishing his relationship with my uncle more than necessary. When my uncle comes back for vaccations, my father goes and spends almost all of the day with him and forgets about my mother. He always messes around with my cousin, jokes playfully with him, which he never does with me or my brother. He takes out his stress and rage on my mom, but keeps the smiles and the great attitude to my uncle's family. I still remember the day in summer when my uncle and his wife celebrated their marrige birthday with my father, and right after he returned from the party, he had a fight with my mother for no reason. It was disgusting to watch my old man behaving so cheefully with a different family and not ours, even though we haven't done anything wrong. It became so toxic in no time, and I was observing all of this and after I had seen enough, I decided that I am never going to work in my uncle's company, because that will make things worse for all of us. My father might take the ass-kissing to a higher degree, my mother will suffer from her husband behaviour and all of my future career decisions will have to go through my uncle and my father first. My father always brings up the subject on working in Tokyo with my uncle, and I told him so many times straight away that I want to get my jobs by myself and not because I am the son of the CEO's favorite brother. What's making me feel mad is that I get the impression that his goal is not to guarantee a good career for me but to make my uncle feel that we need him so he can feel good and proud. Unfortunately I confirmed it myself when I had a talk with my father and told him that my dream is to work in Tokyo, and Imagine what he told me ? " Well, you know, it's hard out there in Tokyo for you. Also imagine what would your uncle think if you worked there in a different company .." You see ? He always gives a damn to my uncle's slightest thoughts before giving a damn to his own family, the family that he created. It's not like I will do my uncle any harm by going there and working in a different company, the city has over a 14 millions population to begin with. It's really a shame that things were not different. Otherwise I would be there right now, in Tokyo and end of story. But my father and my brother are the main reasons why I am not joining that company anytime soon. I want to walk my own path, with my own skills. What do you guys think ? Am I doing the right thing ? Has any of you been in a similar situation ? Thank you so much for reading this topic
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