Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'jealousy'.
-
Grateful to relief To have always felt what seemed One sided love Leaves the heart Broken, battered, bruised, And as caged as a dove. To have always felt the piercing spikes Of polluting jealousy Leaves the mind Callow, credulous, chancy, And as deficient as truancy. To have always felt the cold sting Of serrated metal Leaves the skin Scarred, spoiled, splintered, And as wizened as a nettle. To have always felt the impudent arms Of ceaseless death Leaves the soul Hollow, heedless, hacked, And as endangered as a breath. To have never felt what seemed as One sided love with you Leaves the heart Rounded, restful, resilient, And as peaceful as a dove. To have never felt the piercing spikes * Of polluting jealousy * Leaves the mind * Tranquil, transpicuous, tameless, And as boisterous as truancy. To have never felt the cold sting Of serrated metal with you Leaves the skin Graceful, guiltless, gorgeous, And as undiscovered as a nettle. To have never felt the impudent arms Of ceaseless death with you Leaves the soul * Enchanting, engaging, effulgent, And as light as a breath.
-
Can you care too much? is that a bad thing?
confusedguy0987 posted a topic in Friendship and Friends
well i have a really good friend of mine, shes the best. anyways there might be something going on between her and this other guy who im totally fine with. i dont know but i guess im kinda scared of change. i dont want her to forget about me if anything happens with this other guy. anyways i really care for her and i know that if soemthing does happen between the two of them that shes gonna get hurt. i dont wanna be pesimistic but i know that their relationship wont work out. I can just see that. so if they get together they are going to break up but whne they do its prolly going to hurt her and i dont want to see her get hurt. i dont want her to get hurt but i know that she will if something happens between the two of them. I dont care if something happens but i know what the ending will be and i dotn want that for her. sometimes i try to tell her maybe to think about it more or whatever but now she thinks that i dotn want anythign between them to happen. i dont know what to do. i guess i care too much because i dont want her to get hurt in that relationship but i cant prevent her from making her choices, they are her choices, not mine but im just looking out for her. does it seem like i care too much, does it seem like im jealous? i dont feel jealous but she make think so. i dont know how to tell her that shes gonna get hurt because thats kinda mean, im not gonna say 'hey if u go out with him yer gonna break up eventually", im not gonna do that, so if u know a way for me to tell her that shes gonna get hurt and i dont want her to be hurt without it looking like im trying to make her decisions for her. thanks -
I feel like this is so crazy to be jealous of my boyfriend's sister but I am at my wit's ends here. He and I have been dating since early last fall and he has a very close-knit family. He is especially close to his sister who is only a year younger than he. Well when we first started dating and I met the family I noticed that she seemed kind of territorial of him, hugging him and trying to sit on his lap and always be all by him (instead of me) she acts just as cuddely with her dad so I wrote it off as being a little protective of her brother. Especially since he would always choose me over her. If she was keeping him accross the room with her and I was alone on the sofa I could catch his eye and with an infintesimal tilt of my head he'd come right over to sit with me. At first I could tell this bothered her but a few visits later she and I were bonding really well and she had pretty much stopped all that. Then it got kind of strange. One morning last January he woke up beside me and looked at me groggily (still half-asleep) and the first words out of his mouth were "Lisa ...?" (his sister's name). Now I was laying in bed next to him naked and that his reaction was another girl's name by mistake was weird enough but his sister?! I was creeped out! Now I admit that she and I look similar - both built the same, long brown hair, etc the only real difference is that her hair is curly and mine is straight. Well that night I had gone to bed wearing my hair curly so it was curly in the morning. That is the argument in his favor - I resembled her and he was sleepy. On the other hand, it's odd that his first thought upon seeing a naked girl in bed with him was of his sister. I told him it made me uncomfortable but he repeatedly told me I was crazy and that 'at least it's sis not some other girl' etc. Finally I just dropped it because nothing came of our discussions. Ever since that happened I struggle with feeling jealous of the sister. When he complains about the guys she dates or spends ages talking about how great she is (so smart - got in to so and so school ..... so pretty, all the guys like her) etc I have to really work to hide that it bothers me. Other than this one thing my boyfriend is the ideal bf. He is sweet, attentive, romantic, never looks at another girl twice, treats me like a princess, a dream come true. I'd like to hear what y'all have to say about this. Am I crazy or would you be bothered too? and what can I do about it?
-
My sweet dilemma, forsaken by Earthly love, stolen by the moon. Jealous asteroids sweep me into their orbit, a cosmic embrace. Eyes that see anew, tell me that I shall find you, a star I'd pursue. My sweet gift, my curse, your gravity I'd orbit, if they'd just allow. So stranded I lay, wandering this lost planet, circling it's beloved. For too long I've cried, aching to be found by you, and from space I gleam. *sigh*, I watch the stars, glancing at sullen beacons, their light shared with all. I shine just for you, in your arms, I'll find respite, but distance cripples. I picture you, there, my essential winter plight lingers with the breeze. Oh, how love eludes, loneliness broods when you pass, inaccessible.
-
Hi all. I have a big problem I need to work on. Any advice or thoughts you have on the subject will be greatly appreciated. I am extremely jealous of my boyfriend's past relationships. He has lots of experience - you name it, he's done it, with as many people as possible. Also, he had an "arrangement" with an ex-girlfriend, after they had already broken up, where they would get together for sex whenever they could. By the way, given how clingy this girl was and how badly she took it when they broke up, this shows very bad judgement on his part I think. No matter how horny you are, it is not a good idea to keep having sex with someone who is still in love with you. It doesn't seem fair to the girl, it probably confused her alot. But back to my problem. I can't stop thinking about his past. I react emotionally as though he cheated on me even though he clearly did nothing wrong to me. For example, I keep thinking now, in retrospect, about when we first met. We got together - I think we both suspected this may lead to something romantic - but nothing was clearly stated. Nothing romantic, we didn't even kiss. A day after meeting with me like this, he went and slept with this ex girlfriend. I KNOW he had no obligation to me at that time. So why do I always remember it and let it bother me? Similarly, I find myself judging him harshly for sleeping around so much. I believe there is nothing morally wrong with that, as long as you don't lie to anyone, and sexual experimentation can be a wonderful thing. So why am I so terribly jealous?? It must be me, my own insecurities. And THAT is what I need help with. I have no idea how to become more secure, and stop thinking about my boyfriend's past. He never lied or cheated, not to me, not to anyone as far as I know. All the poor guy ever did was sow his wild oats... Please help! Thanks
-
My boyfriend and I have been together for ten months. I love him very much and were planning on moving in together in a couple of months. We spend every night together in one of our homes or another. About a month ago I was at his office surfing on his computer and came accross a website specifially designed to meet people for sex. When I first asked him about it he denied it. I then decided to create a fake screen name with a fake photo on this site. He responded to my ad which horrified me. I confronted him again and after a little while and me almost walking out he confessed and cried saying that he was bored one day so he created a bogus screen name. He said he never intended to meet anyone and that he felt embarrsed to tell me the first time I confronted him. He hasnt visited that site anymore nor any other related sites, I've checked. He constantly tells me that I'm the only one for him. Last night I found a number on his floor from a local bar. He told me it wasnt his and that he hadnt been there in months and had never met anyone there. I had just cleaned his apartment that week and found no such item so I find it hard to believe it came out of nowhere. He let me rip it up and that was that. I'm a little concerned that hes cheating on me and a little more concerned that I'm too jealous and theres nothing to worry about. Any thoughts?
-
I am a really jealous person. Everytime my boyfriend even talks to another girl I get upset. I hate being this way. He promised me he would never cheat on me. What should I do?
-
Its me again, I wrote in here a while ago when my gf of 2 yrs broke up with me becaus eof my jealousy... I have been working at it, and we got back together, and we are going strong.... However now she is old enough to go out to nightclubs etc, and I have to let her go (because I am no controlling n e more), however I still feel so insanly jealous, (yet i can control it more these days) I don't like that fact that she is out and guys are trying to pick her up... How can I cope with this...? I need some good advice... PLEASE...
-
My gf, as I have posted before, broke up with me a while back because of my jealousy, Now we are back together, and Im working on my jealousy. And I have come a Long way. However now, when she goes out I still am hurting inside. Basically, when she goes out, she goes out with these two guy friends of hers. I trust her and all. The thing is I cant stand other guys hitting on her. I don't go out with her, because she has more fun with her friends, and I have my own friends to hang out with. However Just knowing she is out and guys are hitting on her drives me crazy... Help me cope with this... PLEASE....
-
I have an extremely jealous boyfriend who digs up the past, questions me when i go out with friends to see if boys were there..and so on. I know 100% that this is wrong, but i know it all stems from his insecurities so i put up with it. Will he always be like this or is there any possible way to make him less jealous? if not i can not be with him anymore. I know i love him with all of my heart and we have been together for a long time, but is it fair to say he doesnt love me as much because of the way he is?
-
My wife and I have been married for almost ten years. Our marriage is great, we have 2 great kids together. My wife is a natural flirt, I knew this before I married her, but thought I could deal with it, and for the most part, I have been able to look the other way when she turns on the charm. Lately I haven't been able to. What triggered it all was I found out she was sending emails to a man at her new job. I'm not sure how far the relationship had gone, but there was some sexual content to the emails. When I found out, I confronted her and she stopped emailing him. She is still working with him (at night no less!) and I can't stop feeling jealous. I want to believe that there is nothing to it. After all our marriage has been through, I can't believe she would jeopardize it. But I still can't stop feelling jealous and anxious. Any ideas on what to do next??? Thanks,
-
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months. I am always jealous for one reason or another. Granted that he is the best looking guy I have ever dated, I don't think I really have a right to be jealous all the time. I know he loves me with all of his heart, its the girls that I don't trust...One of his closest friends is a girl that he had once had a sexual relationship with, nothing emotional. She has made me uncomfortable frequently by her looks and gestures. I dont want to keep him from having the friendship,she just makes me very uncomfortable. He is aware of this but still continues to talk to her and do things with her. We just moved in together 500 miles away from home to go to school so I thought she wouldn't be in the picture anymore. But she still calls and was recently nearby and wanted to visit. Knowing how uncomfortable I am with her, I would think he wouldn't think twice about it and kindly decline. I had to tell him no. He shared a mutual interest with another girl that is close to where we now live. She is still interested in him and they talk frequently on the internet. I never see the conversations but I suspect that she is flirting with him. Matter of fact, he is talking to her right now...but he assures me there is nothing to worry about. Am I totally out of line? Do I need to completely lighten up or just a little?
-
My heart is a concert hall full of instruments of strings I pluck, and pull, and bend, and bow, but never can arrange the true feelings of the human heart so tender and so real, that love can be so strong, incorruptible, sincere But just as that heart plays melodies, symphonies, serenity it can build bombs, of hate, jealousy, and rage. So do I hide this instrument, this bomb? Or do I utilize it, develop it, help it get strong? Life is funny that way I guess that song our lives will play. But I guess we'll see tomorrow what way the heart will play.
-
My boyfriend and I have been dating almost one year and we have so many problems in our relationship but at the same time we love each other so much. It's hard to know whether we should just break up or if its worth trying to deal with the problems. It all started because when I met him I was just getting out of a two year relationship and so there was a little bit of overlap between him and my ex-bf. During a fight with my bf (after we had been dating only 6 weeks) I had gone over to my exes and we almost slept together. My bf asked me if anything happened and I lied to him that it didn't, but he asked my ex-bf directly and he told him everything. My bf is jealous by nature so this was a huge deal to him and he still hasn't gotten over it and he doesn't trust me. So this has led to him harassing me with questions about my past. He wants to know every detail of everything sexual I have ever done with another man in my whole life. I have withheld a lot from him because there is a lot I have done that I am ashamed of and would rather just forget, but through all his questions and prying it all has leaked out little by little and he thinks I am a lying deceitful slut. But besides all this, we get along so well when we are not fighting. We laugh for hours, we have the most interesting conversations, we enjoy doing things together, our chemistry is electric, etc. In so many ways he is just what I want in a man. He is the most handsome man I've ever seen, he is smart, interesting, admirable, funny, etc. But just when things are going smoothly, he gets weird and starts asking me about my past again, or accusing me of looking at some guy, and messes everything up. On top of it all, he has an ex and a kid he sees all the time. I am jealous by nature too, so this has been hard to deal with. What has made it even harder is that when he is jealous he uses his ex to make me jealous. Like he tells me how she is so much better than me and how they had a great relationship and things like that, and while we have been together he has gone places with her and their kid together, for the kid's sake he claims. When we're not fighting anymore he tells me it was all lies but I'm not so sure. I know he loved her for a long time after they broke up, and he has told me how happy he was while they were together and how he thought she was The One and all that. And of course she is the mother of his son so naturally I feel very threatened and lately it has been getting to me, especially when I am resentful of his jealousy over stuff I did years before I ever met him. I feel like they shared so much more together than we have. They spent almost three years together, had their first child together, etc. He claims he loves me more than he loved her, but it's hard for me believe considering the situation and how close they must have been. Our latest fight was yesterday and whenever we fight I always come back to stay with my dad. My dad hates him because he always sees me when we have been fighting and I am upset and I have told him a little too much bad stuff about my boyfriend. I know my boyfriend is loving and sweet underneath it all, I know he loves me to death, but we have so many problems all stemming from the beginning of our relationship when I was still a little involved with my ex-bf. I know these problems are superficial but still we can't seem to get past them. We love each other so much and now we have been apart for less than a day but I am already starting to feel like I can't bear being apart from him for any longer. Now I don't know if its worth trying to work out. I love him so much and I know he loves me, but we can't stop letting these problems get to us. And now my father hates him so its going to cause problems between me and my dad because he doesn't understand. I can't figure out what is causing all this jealousy. Can't we see we love each other? Why is my boyfriend so threatened by other men? Why is he so paranoid about me being a slut and lusting after other men? I'm not a slut and I don't care about other men! How can I get him to respect me? And how can I stop feeling threatened by his ex?
-
Hi all. thanks for reading my post. Here is some background - I am terribly jealous of my wife. My wife was always a little overweight. She had our first child 2 and half years ago. After this she became considerably overweight and had trouble losing it. I was always very supportive of her and not at all critical of her weight, but she was always very unhappy with it, which is understandable. Last April, she had gastric bypass surgery. Her surgery was fantastic, and she has lost a considerable amount of weight (She is about 20 pounds short of her goal). She is looking better than she has in a long time. She is enjoying herself tremendously. She has new clothes, a renewed interest in her friends, and she is interested in making new friends. She has definitely come out of here shell. She has confidence in herself like she hasn't had in a long time. I am so proud of her. The decision that she made to have the surgery was very courageous. I am also enjoying certain benefits associated with her greatly renewed sex drive . My biggest problem is that I am totally blowing it with her because I just can't stop from being jealous/suspicious. I've had a really hard time adjusting to her new self. The change has been profound. I have been to a therapist once by myself (and once with her) after I couldn't stand what was happening to me. I was so jealous that I became suspicious of everything that she did and it was really scaring me. My wife and I got into a series of terrible fights with me accusing her of hiding things from me and cheating on me with someone else. She told me that she was going to leave me. The unbelievable thing is, I really had no reason to suspect her of anything. I didn't catch her doing anything. I just kept looking for something. I have never acted that way before and I was concerned for my health, my wife's health and my child's health. The therapist told me that I have an adjustment disorder with depressed mood. This made me realize that what I was feeling was something that I couldn't help and it gave me a lot of hope that I could get better. Most Adjustment Disorders recede as quickly as they appear (so they say). I started rebuilding my self esteem (which unfortunately was very very low at the time my wife and I started having problems). I felt that if I could make myself feel better it would change my entire attitude. My own self improvement kick has helped me get over the shock of her saying that she was going to leave me. I know I would be fine without her. Don't get me wrong, I want to be with her. I want us to feel like a normal family again. I know that she wants to be with me and wants the same thing. She has done a remakable job reassuring me of this. I still am having a very hard time getting over the jelousy. My therapist suggested to me that the depression associated with my adjustment disorder is making it hard for me to let these feelings go. I know that I am getting better slowly but surely. There were some other problems in our relationship that I think stemmed from my low self esteem and I am working hard to fix these things. I am helping more with that house work and with my child. I am trying to make her life better any way that I can. I know that we'll get through this if I can keep my insanely stupid and unfounded accusations to myself. A request - So what I am asking from you guys, is help with techniques or methods that you guys may have learned to help control the suspicion. My therapist suggested some things that would help, but I am always interested in other opinions and ideas. Why do we look for things to tear other people down with? That is the absolute last thing that my rational mind would want to do. Why am I hurting my best friend, lover and mother of my child this way? I know that I will get better. I already feel much better about myself and my future. Any insight that you guys could contibute on ways to combat jealousy and suspicion would be welcomed indeed. Thanks for Listening! Quietguy
-
My boyfriend and I have been together 6 mos. I should start by saying that I am somewhat insecure in general, but I went through a divorce last year that made me even more insecure (marriage of 10 yrs ended). In the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend did things that fed my insecurity...for ex., he tried to convince me to get breast implants, because mine are small and he preferred big ones. After we had been together a couple of months, he told me about this gorgeous girl (Jennifer) that hung out at this Internet cafe where he also hung out. (She had big breasts, looked like a porn star, but also had a brain, or so he said.) Anyway, he ended up getting her email address and emailing her. He swore to me it was meaningless. I didn't tell him how much it bothered me (I know, my bad.) Anyway, they emailed back and forth for about a month--it seemed to end July 4th when she went back east to visit family. Meanwhile, he and I were getting more serious. He seemed committed to me. He stopped mentioning my small breasts-seemed happier with me, and with my body. Said it was the best relationship he'd ever been in. So, I thought the email correspondence with this girl would just die off. It seemed to...until, late August. I was housesitting for him while he was on a business trip. I did what I know to be a bad thing, but I just felt like I had to know what was going on with this girl. He didn't have a password on his email account, and he had told me I could use his computer while he was away. I did NOT read his email. However, I noticed Jennifer was in his chat list. I then peeked into his chat record and saw that he had contacted her to chat on Aug. 26th--which was right at the time he and I were getting closer, talking about marriage, etc. The chat did not indicate he was cheating or anything, but it was very flirtatious and could have led to more. He referred to her beauty and brains a couple of times. He asked her if men were intimidated by her. At the end, he asked "Am I going to run into you this week?" she said "Maybe." Reading this made me very upset. Maybe he didn't cheat, but where did he think this flirtation was headed? Why did he never mention to her that he was seeing someone? Where did he hope his contact with her would go? And why did he contact a girl whom I was so obviously threatened by, during a time when he and I were so close (I was bending over backwards at that time to help him get through a difficult period.) He still swears it didn't mean anything. But you add that to his previous comments about my breasts, his comments praising her beauty, etc., and my general insecurity...it's a bad mix. I did not handle it correctly, I know. My jealousy and feelings of humiliation got the best of me. I left him angry emails, voicemail, and broke up with him. When he came back, we were trying to work it out. But he is still very mad and resentful I invaded his privacy. It has become all about me and what I did. And I am still having trouble getting my jealousy under control. Last Thursday, he mentioned that he was at an art gallery. There was a new girl there, sitting next to a painting he was interested in. He said out loud, "Who did this painting, the one next to the very attractive woman here?" I felt he was flirting again and flew off the handle. Once again, he thinks he didn't do anything wrong because he has had ample opportunity to cheat (women are giving him signals or coming on to him all the time--he is very handsome), and he hasn't. Now I fear he thinks he may as well do something because I am going to be jealous anyway. I am going to start counseling to get this under control, but I don't know what to do to handle his anger and resentment. Many of my friends don't think I'm being unreasonable (even though they say I shouldn't have gotten into his chat records.) What do you all think?
-
So I was listening to a song, one that my last love and I liked, and I felt I wanted to write about the night I was sure I was in love with her, and got turned down =/, its a song by Kate Nash called Birds. (I know I'm a girl lol). This isnt much of a love poem but more of that desperation, and sadness =/ lol. Love and War We were walking under moonlight You mean the world to me I say with a smile, and I ponder a second to see what she may think She frowns, You really shouldn't she says, apathetic I am pathetic I am a soldier, tripping over wire, dodging shells of her attack I love her. I stammer, stuttering, my words tripping over wire I, uh.. Well its like, you..you are the only person who can make me nervous when I see you, talk to you...but uh, make me calm when I do talk, I love you ya know? Oh? she frowns I smile, confident, a shield, ignoring her, the mortars, the knowledge, common sense retreat. retreat. We continue our conversation she wants to go inside, I make her walk another lap, its such a lovely night her perfume is almost toxic, Side by side we walk, I should of just went home, but I'm not one to give up. The air is much too dry, and the sky is much too bright and her eyes shine like emeralds and my pride jumps over the moon I make my stand, the soldier the man, trying to defeat, I sneak for the attack but she counters with What about him? of course I am Jealous, I exclaim All I want is to understand you All I want is to understand me to she says I smile, an asinine smile a fake smile a defeated smile So we walk back to her house goodbyes, and truths You cant love me I wont let you. I wont tell you how I feel You don't love me Your lying You can't. I see how it hurts you I'm fine I say absorbing defeat my shields are down I'm crashing, I'm crashing. I walk home alone. I'm exiled a soldier no more I can't love now I couldn't feel then no one can understand no one can comprehend how I felt so I walk alone and I hear this song in my head I cursed this song I cursed her I cried I died I revived and I lied when I said I was fine all I wanted was for you to understand but I never lied when I said I was in love with you.
-
i miss The curls in your hair, my fingers running through them. Your touch, sends tingles through my body. Your fingers drumming, on my thighs. Your soft kiss on my fingers. Your bright blue eyes, seeing my future in them. Your passionate kiss, on my lips. Your words the sweetest of poetry. That smile, is contagious. That look that says ‘forever’. Your embrace is, the ultimate bliss. Those silly jokes, Only I get. Your moves on the dance floor, Makes them jealous. All this and more I miss more than I can bare. I’m not usually a poetry writer but after everything that has just happened I felt I had to express myself somehow. This still doesn’t say how much I miss and adore him. I can’t wait to grow old with him. I can’t believe that after so long We both still feel this way. One day I’ll come to you again One day we’ll be together again. We’ll grow old together then.
-
I'll make this comment short. I had a frightful thought about my ex fiance today. He's very good looking and women have the tendency of handing him their phone numbers. Even though he was convinced to stay away from relationships for a very long time, I imagined him having casual flirting/sex with someone else. OUCH! But then I realized that it's safer for me to think about these things now that we're no longer together than to have these crazy thoughts everyday while we were a couple. Sure it hurts to think about it but it's not my concern anymore. Anyway he's the ultimate jealous type so I know he has already imagined me being with someone else - his mind has driven him off the edge! That's all. -
Why do you feel at ease or in a better place now? I feel so at ease for the past month or so....i felt liberated and oh so great when i decided to take a break/space from my ex, which ultimately turned into a breakup! Couldn't trust him or believe him anymore...his depression started to drive me carzy...I hung in there for a long time, put up with his moods just because I thought i needed to be strong and wait for him to overcome whatever it was he was going thru. he was so wrong for me, when i wrote on a piece of paper the pros and cons...the cons were ahead by a landslide! -he was stubborn -wrong and strong at the same time -not affectionate -not very hygienate...yeah i know -cannot have kids -low sex drive -wants fast money(doesnt have a career) - he's 36 -out of shape -still live at home -his friends are tacky (in all senses of the word) -he lies like every other hour -ego...ego...ego. (why i dont know) -says he hates to argue, but he is very argumentative -claims not to be a jealous person, but when he gets caught doing silly things things...oh forgive him, he'ss a jealous person -gossip like a 'girl' -life is beyond and unnecessarily chaotic...he put himself in so many jams i can go on, but if he ever stumbles upon this site or this thread, he would know its him and its me typing this stuff dont get me wrong, i am far from perfect (his family was extremely happy i came into his life and his sister even said to me a long time ago, we are not on the same level...i didn't know what she meant, then she said that i have too much going on and more mature and together than he is and perhaps his behavior stems from him being intimiidated and perhaps feels like he is less of a man. some of me: -affectionate -honest (for the most part) -great career -own 2 homes in the US (one i rent out, the other i just aquire and now lives in) & one home offshore -drive a brand new $82k car -not stubborn -loving -successful friends & family -loves to cook -keep a great home -had loving past relationships -compassionate Let this be a thread where you write the reasons that it makes sense that you are no longer a couple! -
If there is a friendship between two parties, a guy and a girl, and either party is free to see other people on their life with one stipulation. Neither party can have a romantic interest for anyone else, and can not see anyone else on days that they are planning to meet each other or the friendship would virtually be dissolved. I think this is an interesting concept, because I'm setting boundaries up where I"m telling this girl, that it's unacceptable for me if she has feelings for any other guy, or is changes a date plan to be with another guy, yet at other times that is outside of the day we are planning to meet then it is acceptable. If we had a relationship, all her guy friends would be ordered out of her life as I may be too jealous to tolerate divided attention. This may be a friendship, but it feels like some sort of quasi-relationship, because I'm also on a guilt-trip now if I see any other girls and put them on priority over her on a day or time we are tentively suppose to see each other, so I think there is some sort of 'understanding' there or ethics about how I'm feeling about guys in her life. Is this still a friendship, or a quasi-relationship, or is this interaction even definable?
-
My heart burns with jealousy when i see you with your man You are my fantasy and my secret love when i see you with your man I wish i were blind when i see you with your man
-
I know this sounds crazy, but I wish my girlfriend showed a little jealousy. I have been with her about 8 months. We love each other, but at times she just doesn't show her true emotions. Perhaps I am not used to it. I always dated women that were jealous (especially hispanic women which my girlfriend is) but my girl just doesn't show it. I have to believe she is somewhat jealous, but I am not sure. I don't go out of my way to make her jealous. I would never do that, but I do have a lot of female friends (though not close friends). I am in a band that attracts many women. But she never says anything. The thing I do notice she never likes to talk to me about the band. I know she is not crazy about it, but she doesn't say anything. I know there are women in our church that tell her what a lucky women she is (I hear this from them, not her). I told her a little about my past (I was basically a male * * * * *, but she doesn't know that), but she doesn't ask many questions. Is it because she doesn't care, or she doesn't want to get hurt? I have to admit my girlfriend plays it real cool. She even told me that when she first met me, she played it cool, and didn't want to show her emotions. She was taught by her Mom to play hard to get, but now that we are in love, I would think she would let her guard down a little, but she still doesn't show her true feelings. I don't know. Its not a big deal. Its just I love this woman so much, and I know when you love someone you help to be a tad jealous. A little jealousy is normal, its when its gets obsessive its when It gets crazy. The main thing is she says she loves me, and I have to believe her. She doesn't show it the way I am used to, but I have to take her word for it. A little jealousy on her part would probably make me feel like she does. I know, I'm nuts, but its the way I feel. Am I crazy for feeling this way?
-
Hi, My boyfriend and i are toghether 4 years. He is a very outgoing and charming person. I think very flirtasious as well. He doesn't flirt with the pretty girls only but is also very charming to old lady's etc. He is alway the entertainer, and everybody likes to have him around as a party is never dull with him around. He is a performer (singer actor) and has a show on tv as well. He loves attention! In the last year I have become extremly jealous. I can't stand it if he looks at an other pretty woman (and believe me he does) It hurts me so much i can't describe. I have talked to him about it before but he doesn't seem to think he is doing that, and if he is it's only natural to look at other people. He has the gift of the gab as well and makes me believe i am seeing things that are not there. This makes me even more insecure as I don't know if i am right when i think he is looking at someone else. But really......... even if he is looking, it shouldn't be a problem. He is very nice to me and tells me he loves me. Why does it hurt so much then???!!! I get very quiet when it happens and am not very nice to him. The quiet treatment as they call it. I hate feeling traped in this emotion and sometimes make me very depressed. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I just want to feel free!! free of this painfull jealousy!! Our relationship would be sooooooo great if I just can let go of this. Any advise?????
-
Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James
