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Clinton

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Posts posted by Clinton

  1. Tough to fix a broken relationship. You dumped her and broke her trust. It seems like she knows she can get you back anytime so shes put you up on a shelf while she sees what else is out there.

     

    I wouldnt wait around for her. Id tell her that while you do love her and realized your mistake, you cant sit around waiting for her to make up her mind.

     

    Then if she doesnt want to try you shut the door and move on.

  2. I asked her to not contact me when we last spoke. I said it was for the best. But.. Im starting to see things different.. You all have valid points. Some judgemental some thoughtful they all point out things i neglected to look at. I know that this is wrong. But if its not right its not right. I dont really know myself single. I have had to fill the holes with other women and it is complicated. And wrong. But here i have found someone. And i love her.. I owe her my love. I feel a new appreciation for her. And a more realistic view of my past relationship. I owe it to not just her but myself to give this my best effort. She helped me through alot. Weve helped eachother. We both met eachother when grieving a past breakup. She trys. I try. And we made something beautiful out of it.

     

    Kind of sad that I can't tell if you're talking about the current or past girlfriend

  3. I understand what youre saying. What ypu say holds some truth. I dont know what i would do if she told me that. Because i love my girlfriend. She has showed me a different kind of love than my ex did. Something she lacked. It was what i always wanted from her. When i started this relationship, she seemed better than my ex in everyway. But as time has passed. I realize there is still a hole. Idk if it is something that will go away. But it is there. I love her in different ways. And always will im guessing. But my mind and heart seem to be fixated on my ex. I cant hurt my girlfriend farther down the line. Should i tell her i have doubts ?

    And maybe i do need more help. But i know my intentions are pure. I dont believe in medicating myself to forget a loved one. She isnt a fantasy. She is part of my life. A large part. Maybe i put a disney view on the whole thing but.. Thats just how i have always thought of her. I want the best for me. Her. And my girlfriend. Which ever way i realize is the true way i feel.

     

    Yes, you should come clean to your girlfriend about your doubts. It will likely end the relationship but it's the right thing to do. It takes courage to do that as it will hurt both you and her but it's still the right thing to do.

     

    And yes, you should get counseling. And you must be unfamiliar with counseling if you think they'll medicate your memories away. Doesn't work that way.

     

    It's telling that you say "She isnt a fantasy. She is part of my life. A large part." Because that really should have been in the past tense.

     

    I sincerely wish you luck with this obsession. I hope you get clear of it. It seems to have taken over your life.

  4. You may be right. But i do love her. These are complex feelings. Im struggling with. But im not the only person who has had the (one who got away syndrome) please dont be judgemental of this. This so complex. Not cut and dry. Love is complex. Maybe i am still in love with my ex. But i love my girlfriend now too. But that love i had for my ex. Is still there. And its strong. What should i do. Ignore this. Or act. I reposted. Its a little different if you want to look at it. I really do appreciate the councils

     

    I don't think you get it. If your fantasy high school girlfriend told you she loved you and wanted to make a life with you, you'd drop your current girlfriend in a flash.

     

    For the last time that's not love. That's using someone as a placeholder. She's just there to fill a space because you can't be with the one you want.

     

    I say this not to be mean but you really need counseling. I am not a psychologist but these issues seem deeply seated and seem like they'd need to be explored professionally.

  5. It means that secretly he's in love with his brother. The hot model represented the barriers society had placed between them because of the immorality of their forbidden love. The model saying stop was society telling them what they were doing was illicit.

     

    I'd be worried. Your partner secretly longs to have an incestuous relationship with his brother!!!!

  6. I think at this stage you need to really take a hard look at yourself and the decisions you make when choosing a potential partner. There are enough red flags in both those scenarios(2010 and present) to stock a flag store.

     

    I say this not to be mean but to help. I too, after two failed relationships had to re-evaluate the choices I was making. It was hard and a bit painful but I was brutally honest with myself and I tried to change things.

     

    And it worked for me as I'm in a long term relationship and about to be married. And this time I can really trust the person.

     

    You can change if you want to.

  7. Well, happy if you aren't a particular ethnic minority

     

    In the 1990s, Bhutan expelled or forced to leave most of its ethnic Lhotshampa population, one-fifth of the country's entire population, demanding conformity in religion, dress, and language.[56][57][58] The decision was motivated by the concern that the fast-growing Nepali minority were starting to revolt for a separate independent state, recalling similar events that caused the collapse of the nearby kingdom of Sikkim in 1975. Lhotshampas were arrested and expelled from the country and their property was expropriated.[59] An alleged harassment campaign escalating in the early 1990s ensued, and afterwards Bhutanese security forces began expelling people. According to the UNHCR, more than 107,000 Bhutanese refugees living in seven camps in eastern Nepal have been documented as of 2008.[58] Whether all inhabitants are in fact refugees is questionable because the UNHCR did not check the initial inhabitants of the refugee camps adequately.[60] The facilities inside the camp, which were reportedly[citation needed] better than in the surroundings, provided a strong motivation for Nepalese to seek admittance. After many years in refugee camps, many inhabitants are now moving to host nations such as Canada, Norway, the United Kingdom, Australia, and the United States as refugees. The United States has admitted 60,773 refugees from fiscal years 2008 through 2012.[61]

     

    The Nepalese government does not permit citizenship for Bhutanese refugees, so most of them have become stateless.[62] Careful scrutiny has been used to prevent their relatives from getting ID cards and voting rights.[62] Bhutan considers the political parties of these refugees illegal and terrorist in nature.[62] Human rights groups initially claimed the government interfered with individual rights by requiring all citizens, including ethnic minority members, to wear the traditional dress of the ethnic majority in public places. The government strictly enforced the law in Buddhist religious buildings, government offices, schools, official functions, and public ceremonies

  8. There is an 11 year gap. And it's not a girls weekend getaway, she is the only girl. We all do have much in common, the guys just don't know me too much.

     

    We were a mix of guys and girls.

     

    Honestly, if I'd planned a weekend away with friends only, no significant others, and someone invited their boyfriend I'd be pissed. Especially someone that much older.

     

    I'd let this go. There will be other more important battles to fight l.

  9. How much of an age gap is there?

     

    When I was much younger a group of us at university had planned a weekend cottage getaway. It was supposed to be just the people in our physical ed class.

     

    One of the girls wanted to bring her much older boyfriend(forty something)

     

    We didn't want some old dude we had nothing in common with coming. I remember thinking a guy that much older was kinda creepy. We pretty much insisted he didn't come.

     

    She stayed home but your girlfriend may be experiencing something similar and still wants to go.

     

    One of the hazards of age gap relationships when you don't have a lot in common with their friends

  10. I've been through what you have. Divorced once, in another serious relationship that ended with the death of a parent.

     

    My ex wasn't crazy, maybe a little bit selfish, but not certifiable. And trying to label them as such isnt worthwhile and won't help.

     

    I think you need to accept that you will NEVER get a reason for the breakup.that you will find satisfactory. So you need to stop looking for answers and just accept it.

     

    The other thing to realize is it takes a lot of time to get over the death of a significant relationship. You're a year into this but you don't seem to have fully accepted the finality so until you do, you'll hang in limbo. If you still love, you still hope.

     

    Took about two years to totally move on after my 13 year relationship ended. And that first year I kept thinking she'd be back. It wasn't till I let go that I healed.

     

    Everyone goes at their own pace. What's that Colin James song, "Five Long Years" Hopefully it won't be that long for you. But time will eventually fade those feelings

     

    Hang in, stop following her life in any way, and time will heal you even if you don't want it to.

  11. Every one heals at their own pace. Some studies indicate it takes us 18 months to two years to totally be over someone who was very important in our lives. But thats an average. Some take less, some more.

     

    You're a year into this. You don't contact or follow her and you claim you don't want her back. Thats progress. You still think about her from time to time. Thats normal.

     

    But you seem to have idealised her in your mind. Again, a lot of us do this. For some reason, when we get dumped, suddenly all our partners flaws magically get forgotten and we turn them into a mythical goddess.

     

    Stop comparing other girls to a memory that they can't possibly match. Date a lot of other girls casually. I can pretty much promise that one will grab your attention. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen one day.

     

    Time takes care of everything. It erases hurt and removes obsession. It just doesn't do it fast enough for most of us.

     

    Keep on going, you're on the right track. And be patient. If love was easy to find this site would be out of business.

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