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heyanna

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  1. Yeah it is ridiculous that after a year I am in a situation where I haven't met the parents and by the looks of things never will. I have never heard of anyone else sticking with a guy/girl who refuses to meet friends and family.
  2. Thanks guys! you may be randomers off the internet haha but you have given me the courage and reassurance I need!
  3. I guess I also have had my self esteem squashed a bit. I'm scared no one will want to ever make the effort. I've went from optimistic about relationships to feeling like they are all going to be like this one. I guess everyone in here is very right, it's just getting the courage to break it off. I'm a bit of a coward haha.
  4. haha I have been asked that question by my mom so many times! I like him because when I am with him he is kind and funny and we do get on well, he is also there when I need advice. I guess at the beginning these things weren't really an issue but now as time has went on they are becoming a major issue however I am so used to him being there, it is a case of, sticking to what I know best, scared of throwing away a year long relationship (which to me is quite a while with it being my first longish term!). It has became very embarrassing trying to make excuses for him to friends as to why he hasn't met them, it just feels like I can't go on much longer this way. I feel resentful that I have met all his friends and have even carved out a close friendship with them but he has not made any effort in return, why would he when I do it all?.
  5. It seems to me like he would be the sort to be really awkward speaking to his parents about this sort of thing, and he is incredibly private as a person. I felt uncomfortable that he said I wasn't any of his parents business but I was thinking it could be linked to his mother's personality, maybe she is the sort to think I am not good enough for her precious son and therefore by not talking about me or meeting me she can't criticize me. Even so, I understand that the general laziness in terms of meeting friends/family is not a good sign.
  6. I asked him the other week if he had told them that I exist, he said yes however he doesn't feel I am any of their business so he doesn't talk about me. Even so, he never offers to come visit me or my family. I should also mention he refuses to properly meet the majority of my friends. (He has only met 2 or 3!) He pays for part of my journey to visit him which I see as only fair however money means nothing, to me I see that as an easy escape. He doesn't have to bother coming to see me and instead just throws money at me as an easy way out. When I brought all this up he said I am living in 'dream world', that he pays for half my travel, my meals and 'allows' me to stay at his house. I felt so patronised, and also it is not about money, it is about effort. His actions say to me that he can't really be bothered. But once again I am always scared that I am over reacting, what if a lot of guys need to be pushed in to making effort and I am simply not pushy enough? rambling now haha
  7. And yes the immature thing rattled me, but again as I said, this being my first relationship I thought, gosh maybe I am immature.
  8. That is another one of my issues haha. He has not met my family either, my mum has started to urge me to find someone else. Something that is entirely out of character for her, because she thinks he is not putting in enough effort. But yes, I am annoyed that I have not been introduced, he said he is uncomfortable talking to his parents about girls (come on man you're 26!!) but even if that is the case, why have they never asked to meet me? or encouraged him to bring me home? His mom needs him home every weekend but doesn't she ever wonder when he actually spends time with me? Feel like I am fighting a losing battle.
  9. Yes, I told him about 2 weeks ago that him not being able to spend weekends with me is not really acceptable. I would understand if he had a good excuse, but he goes home to sit about. I am the one who constantly goes to him, to visit him when I can during the week when he is working and therefore upset his routine. Instead of getting to see each other at weekends (which he always has free) when I won't be upsetting his routine. He said that because I am younger I do not understand the responsibilities of someone older (I know!) and that going home at the weekends is how he relaxes away from work and he likes to see family. This is my first proper relationship, so I am never too sure if I am being a pushover or demanding too much.
  10. Hey guys, just looking for a bit of advice over my boyfriends possessive mom! Okay so we have been dating a year and I have not yet met his parents. He is 26 years old, and goes home to visit his family every break from work he gets, weekends, everything and I get very little quality time with him (we currently live 50 miles apart). Now THIS bothers me. I had not seen him in 3 weeks due to work commitments and the other day when I was visiting him for 3 days, he handed me his phone and told me to text his friend saying we would be at his house in 5 mins. However his phone was opened on text messages to his mom. She was asking him to come home to the family house that night and demanding to know why he wasn't coming home. This irritated me, no one in his family is sick, he isn't a carer for anyone, then I would understand her demanding and possessive nature. He does nothing when he goes home apart from sit about watching tv and reading or doing work related stuff. His mom knows I exist but yet she has never asked to see me or even asked me to visit. She doesn't know that I stay over at his house and he is too scared to even tell her. They believe in God but they are not overly religious. What the hell am I dealing with here? we are both adults, I am 22 and yet I have more freedom than he seems to have. I understand if he wants to be close to his family, being a family person is a good thing, but he acts like a child having to go home to his mommy every weekend and refusing to spend Saturday nights with me or any quality time. He is off work for a week soon and she is demanding that he spends that time at home. It is almost like the fact that he has a girlfriend doesn't even come in to the equation. Why must she baby her son and be so possessive! he is almost 30 for God's sake!. Just looking to see if anyone has ever been in a similar situation? any empathy at all helps, to be honest this is really irritating me to the extent where I am losing my patience with the relationship. Thanks guys
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