SooSad33

I don't see that you have any ties with her at all. You two never truly had any decent communication or even a date, lol. You owe her nothing! If she is just playing head games and you don't want to play erase her number. Move on.

Yeah, could be a number of reasons she has moved on this fast.... She had mentally & emotionally already checked out long before she left.. My kids boss is going thru a divorce right now as well. He was acting different at the workplace for a couple months before he admitted their divorce. Right away he was out dating .. taking anything that would look his way. It's now been almost 10 mos and he's prolly with gal #3 or 4 . So, she may be with someone right now, but is a good possibility it won't last. She still may have a few inner demons to work out 😉 . Who knows.... Either way, to her, she's done with this relationship and I'm sorry for this. It's never easy 😕 . So give yourself time to work on accepting it and take care of yourself and kids ❤️ . You're not alone ... many of us have been thru the pains as well. We get it. In time, things will not be as rough as they are right now.

Is there any way to get on 'assistance'? Where you don't have to move back home? If you've been seeing a therapist, ongoing, you can even 'build your case' and seek some kind of disability ( struggling with mental health - due to abuse ( hence PTSD, anxiety , depression etc) .. I don't know your mentality issues.. but it's an idea. It's all up to you on seeking out what is available. I was never a nurse but made it to a Health care worker, which took one year of college. Here they call it a PSW. As mentioned, maybe you're with a therapist that isn't right for you, as you should feel comfrotable enough to be able to talk to them about anything. I know you are feeling really low 😞 .. but you're still so young. I don't see this as you messing your life up! I see this as you having some issue's and you're struggling atm. And that you need some help. So, please don't put yourself down for what's happened. Many don't manage to complete their schooling, all for diff reasons.

Wow 😕 , that's rough .... sorry you had to endure that experience. I had friends with parents like this. They also had a few challenging relationships - so it does cause an effect. Unreal though, that your mom would continue relationships with the same issues ... but then again, I guess it isn't, since she was one, herself. *sigh* 😞 No one can get 'better' until they rid of stuff like this in their lives. So glad you've all turned out better than this ( as risk is always there to also become an alcy if you have alcy parents) . Nope, she may not. Not if it's either her 'crutch' .. or addiction. She can quit IF she actually wakes up and chooses to get clean. Maybe be a while still though, if she even does. Yup, go for it. Go face the reality of all of this on what's got you wound up with everything and get it dealt with! Good on you 🙂 .

You are still so young! Sorry this isn't working out 😕 . Sometimes we do grow apart... it happens. And nothing much anyone can do but work on accepting what is. BUT, it may become too much for you having to live there with him. Can he not find a friend to share this place with & help with the rent so you can move on in a healthy manner? IMO, it's best way to handle this situation. I also feel you can strive better with your own ideas of looking ahead as you are.. and working on your own self. But not be stuck there with some guy who's now pulled away. I have 2 kids close to your age, One has also moved to an apt with his gf and the other's still at home. Building funds for a future which is fine 🙂 . Never any reason to rush into anything, especially at your age. As I said, you are still so young. You've just reached your adult stage in life and have sooo many good years ahead of you! Get out there, enjoy the scenery, hang with some friends, enjoy all life's got to offer. 🙂

Yeah, sadly it seems so, that she's still consuming you because of what you did .. ( this book) , which has come to 're hash' some emotions once again .... right? You've been damaged by her. Traumatized 😞 . Yes, I agree with some therapy to help you along, as it's obvious you're still fuming over your past. It's never good to sit in anger etc for so long. I learned this years ago . I did a few years of therapy ( more than once) , to 'work through my issues'. Yes, it does help 🙂 . Proof here with her ongoing behaviour ( assisted by alcohol & mental instability). Sadly, sometimes we NEED to learn the hard way 😕 . My first ex is an alcy , was not a nice experience & was hard to work on accepting it all and getting out of it. Took a good couple of years - but I worked through it and am well over all of that now 🙂 . Life is an experience I often say. We live & we learn. Also, I feel, as we get older, we become more aware of the 'red flags'. Yeah, when I was out in the dating world, I came across a couple guys who'd go from coffee to beer every day! 😕 * gag* . Immediate turn off.... So, do as you mentioned, get into therapy to work through this issue that has plagued your life & happiness and I believe in time, you WILL come to feel okay again and more yourself - as you should be! A decent, successful man who's got a lot of good values! 🙂 One day at a time. Good luck

Do NOT feel bad for second guessing this guys intentions/ behaviour. And whether you truly want to remain with him . In the beginning of your 'relationship', it wasn't love. Was more 'lust'. So, at that time, no, he didn't have a care in the world about anyone but himself. 😕 BUT, it seems he has continued! With his ignorance and I say this is a form of mental abuse 😞 . He has been making YOU feel like crap - and sadly, you've allowed it. And even with your own ill mental health, accepting this behaviour. You never explained how long you been together and engaged. But I do suggest it is time for YOU to remove yourself from this relationship. Why marry someone who makes you feel so bad? And is time to turn more focus on yourself for a good while. Get yourself back to good and more stable than you are right now. This is what you need! ❤️ .

I am sorry this has happened to you 😕 ... how long were you involved? Your story sounds just like mine ... his location ( too close for comfort) , the anxiety of it all etc. Yeah, he was right across the street ... was awful! BUT, last fall, he finally moved! 😉 It was for the best IMO. ( after having to live this way for almost 8 yrs)! It's been 3 weeks, so still very fresh! You will need a good while to feel fully over this. meanwhile, can you hang with friends or family for some support? And do your best to just 'avoid' him. Keep your blinds closed and go out if possible, when he is not around etc. In ways, he may be 'trying' to show off, knowing how close you are - to try & make it seem he is so 'happy'. Honestly, you don't know how he's feeling..... If it does get to be too much, maybe consider talking to your Dr abt something for your anxiety? One day at a time... tc

I don't know why you continue with her at all? You've been informed by the one who DOES know her the best! I guess it was bound to happen in time, she was just holding back until she couldn't 'fake it', anymore. Be done with this .... irate woman! ( You already know you'll never win) 😕 . Oh, and don't play her 'head games' either. Some thrive on that.... Have your say and run .. far away!

So, you're enjoying the physical part, but miss the rest 😕 . And this sounds quite new... since Dec. Then it's basically a fwb situation? I guess if for now, this is enough for you, you'll stick around for it. In time, yeah you'll want more than this. BUT, not all men shy away from women with kids. It's the norm! Practically every woman out there has kids... so, what you need to do is keep looking - for someone who is fine with you having kids and IS wanting the whole package 😉 . In the meanwhile, do you hang with friends? Get out so kids can have playdates, etc? Take care of YOU as well in this.

In ways, it sounds like your mom is trying extra hard to welcome the gf and that's okay. She's kinda new there? Why not bring your own things then for YOU? Eg dinner rolls, etc. No harm in that. Maybe, things will settle down more in time. But for now, mom's just trying hard to make all happy ( except for you, in your opinion) ... But change can be difficult for all. You all need to calm down and let things settle more. I have many sibling and yes, some in the family have dietary restrictions ( specific buns. gravy etc), but there is always 'normal foods' there as well. So, maybe it's just a basic 'adjustment period' for you all. Tell your mom you will be bringing some normal foods for yourself, if she won't provide it - you do have that right and see if in time, your mom does settle down with all of this and become more herself again. Change can be a challenge.( you are not used to any of this). But in other ways, it sounds like she is a good woman 🙂 .

I am the same. I have only a few 'real' and decent friends. I have no need for parties anymore. Mainly family functions. I do have some pets and hobbies and I am okay with this 🙂 . ( haven't been involved in over 5 yrs). But, I am fine. There is no rules out there saying we have to be in a relationship. It's more how WE want it. My ex mother in law's brother never married. he remained single & helped his mother out. We all go down different paths in our lives. My youngest hasn't dated ( 22 yrs old) and my oldest is now married ( to gf of almost 10 yrs) . See, it's different for everyone. No need to feel pressure or compare 😉 . If you do feel you're 'in a slump', maybe consider seeking some prof help. Like you're feeling somethings missing? Either that or you're just thinking it is not right- when maybe it is alright 🙂 ?

You two are still so young and only beginning your adult life. No, he may not be 'fully mature' yet. Some guys do take more time to 'grow up'. And by sounds of it, you're just not that into him anymore. You're more ready to 'spread your wings' now, and are more focused on your studies. As for your mother, who cares what she has to say. This is your life and as fact, many people meet up during their years in school ( college, uni, etc). Studying similar things and spending a lot of time together, etc. So don't you worry & feel you need to 'settle' for this guy you feel isn't your kind.

She may be kind, but IMO, she is more 'needy' than anything else and YOU came to her rescue. But I don't think a relationship is what she wants or needs. That's you. So, out of respect you leave her be now. You've helped her out a bit and she is thankful. This may be it. Then you best carry on and expect nothing more from her. Someone who is into you will not block or avoid you 😉 .

Yeah, this lifestyle is not YOU, but sadly, you're having to hear it while you basically get nil 😕 . I get it ( 5+ years here now - but its okay, I am not struggling with the fact, lol ). YOU are in a relationship. By reading your responses, sounds like she is struggling at this time. I do believe you can manage and let her deal with her issues for a little while longer. You know each other well, it being 18 years. As for the fact you've got a party animal next door, so what! YOU are the one in a decent relationship. His life style is not stable. I suggest you give it some more time. Winter's coming to an end and hopefully she'll start to chipper up again somewhat and get her 'sex drive' back again - and be okay re: work loss etc. I get it, one can feel pretty low and not into the 'fun stuff', when feeling that low. 😞 . Just be there for her best you can, emotionally. If she just wants to sit in & chill, sit with her and just be of some comfort. See how she is in another 3 mos. Hopefully she will change for the better. ( but if she is still off after that time, have another heart to heart and maybe even suggest some therapy to her, if she stil seems to be in her slump) . If it carries on for too long, it will damage your relationship. meanwhile, you can do some things for a while 'when the urge arises', on your own, right? 😉 . Good luck.

In time, you WILL change your thoughts on this. She is demented - Fact! She is not well in many ways. And believe me, your frame of mind will change & improve with this thought to 'her choosing to be w/ someone else & be abused than with you' ..... When you are over all of this, you will see it all in a sense you are glad she is gone! And so glad you no longer have to deal with her crap! 😞 Sadly, you did cave in and have another conversation with this evil, controlling thing! When you are strong enough, you WILL have it in you to NOT ever give in again! Right now, you are still weak 😕 . I suggest though, that you do not go getting into another relationship yet. You need a good while on your own to heal, mentally & emotionally. Right, she is controlling & evil! You have been traumatized and need to realize this. I am so sorry you've had to experience all of this. - But is time you do take control over yourself & your life again. Be stronger than this and if she does try her crap with you again, you may want to record & save some stuff and tell her to back off or else! And mean it... Either you NEVER cave in or report her to police. She needs to see that you mean business and do NOT want to deal with her again. She is Toxic! Meanwhile, continue as you are. Keep up with your friends and lean on them & your family for support. Maybe even consider reaching out for some prof help. A counselor or therapist.

Okay, well maybe not 'using you', but.. how is all of this BEHAVIOUR of his okay? Give yourself more credit & respect on what & how YOU should be treated. How do you see all of this? You seem to be caught up on this guy, yet he mis treats you... right? Someone who DOES want to be around you will show it. He's messed up! You say you not longer talk much, that its you do all of the work, etc. Then he blocks or ghosts you? Nope, I'd be done with someone like this! Simple. A healthy relationship is not like this! I'd say he's not that into you .. sorry 😕 . Move on. Give him nothing anymore. ( unless you are okay with this kind of thing, but if you were, I doubt you'd be here) 😉 . ( Look at your headline, you are feeling foolish & stupid)...

He's full of it. He's basically using you and I call this a fwb. Just around when he wants some. That isn't love! And how can you love someone you won't talk to? 😕 He's a conniving idiot! Ignore and avoid him from now on. Be stronger than this and NEVER chase anyone for attention. IF they're interested , you'll know it. Be done now. No more games.

There you go! So, he's not trying at all? is just you reaching out now? Then stop. IF he's truly into you, you'll know it. Yup, I had a fwb years ago, we'd meet up every couple of weeks for a weekend, where we'd do take out & drink. I eventually faded away after about 4 months as I wasn't into it anymore. So, yeah a guy can gladly 'have fun', and have no feelings for you that way. ( not all guys, but it is common) . Also make note of 'rebounds'. It happens when someone is trying to get over a failed long term relationship and isn't there yet, so they'll sleep with anything that gives them attention kinda thing, lol. Sadly, those can hurt 😕 .

IF you do take him back. YOU need to make things clear FIRST. If you are against sex before marriage, he needs to know this. And anyone who dates people like this, should be informed and respect that fact. You don't owe anyone anything just because you had sex.... I dated others before I married and then in time didn't work out. Stuff happens. Life experiences and by sounds of it you're still young. so be easy on yourself , think for yourself and be honest to yourself and anyone you choose to date.

So, he's manipulating you and is causing guilt and mind f**k, pretty much, right? And when someone has a go at you & turns around to say 'oh I was just joking'.. remember there's always a little 'truth' in a joke. Guilt trips! First off, people ARE often aware of their own behaviour! Sadly, YOU are just allowing it 😕 . I spent almost 10 yrs with an alcoholic. I tried my best with him but ended up realizing I could NOT save him and he had plenty of time to smarten up - he never tried. We split up. My next long term also fell apart as the last 2 yrs with him were irate! I also, spent a lot of time walking on eggshells and believe me, it's NOT worth your sanity! 😞 . So, it's maybe time to throw in the towel. You get out of there and tell him you're done! No more guilt ridden fights, assumptions, nothing! You then get a lawyer and work out visitation, child support etc. Just remember, you NEED to be strong in this.. Not feel bad. But be the bigger person here. He's ruining you! These kids need stability and happiness - positive in their lives. Not mom being belittled by dad for whatever reasons he's behaving this way.

Okay, in your first paragraph, you admitted that you've always felt a sense of disconnect and lonliness. I am guessing this guy 'fills that void', for the moment. He has no real feelings for you right now. You've only just begun ( 4 mos ago). Women feel way earlier than men do. And they'll gladly use you for all you've got if you let them! ( sex does not bring them closer), which is why some prefer fwb. No expectations & can continue doing whatever they want w/out responsibility. So, yeah, at this time it's all 'lust'. A healthy relationship has good communication, trust, ability to work together , give and take and just have it build naturally over time - then you can admit you're both grounded and you are both in this. I have a feeling you're not feeling it... and his response shows he isn't either. So, is best to decide IF he's worth the chance you're taking. If you're at all in doubt don't wait too long on admitting it and walking away.

Why don't you just send him a DM and have a bit of a chat first? Then consider mentioning maybe another 'movie'.. just the 2 of you - or meet up for a coffee? You hafta get to know him more one way or another. You really don't even know IF he is already involved or anything. Maybe a coffee meet, you will learn a little more of these things, then go from there.. ( make note: If he admits he is freshly out of a relationship or marriage, don't even thin twice- walk away.. lol ). Believe me, you don't want to be a rebound 😉 .

I suggest you move on. Usually if someone is into you, you'll know and she's had numerous chances to do so. Also the fact that she's had a kind of 'recent' BU of a long-term relation. She's probably not ready or truly interested in getting involved again.

Halle Berry, YOU have yet to respond to all the above responses. How do YOU see it? IMO, I'd suggest you do not get involved with him then. If he's already admitted uncertainties, then it is NOT worth getting emotionally invested in such person. I wish I did at one time, instead of wasting my mental & emotional energy on a guy like this for too long 😕 .