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About Jay98

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  1. My family told me because it's hard not to bump into someone who's practically your neighbour now. They asked me if I ever gave him a set of keys for the house because they were concerned. Couldn't care less about his social media. I don't know why you think I want to "creep" on him - I don't care. I saw his name come up once and apart from the original anxiety surge which caused me to write this post I've not even looked. He's someone who's manipulated his way into my life in the past and I don't want a repeat that's all. My other ex who I spoke of on another thread is a seperate issue
  2. Christ all this because I wanted to make sure his motivation WASN'T to reach out to me. He didn't live in the same area before. He lived an hour away so yes, moving the next street to my family not only rang alarms for me but my family as well - my dad said he saw him drive by the house fairly recently and, years ago, HE TOLD ME HIMSELF that he drove by my old flat when I was in uni 'for nostalgia' while we were broken up and had spent the whole time thinking about talking to me (which he managed to do before it all went to poop again). I understand it's not easy to get the full pictur
  3. Yes I am happy and would never in a million years get involved with an ex again. They didn't work for a reason.
  4. I haven't checked up on him, he was on my timeline for the first time in years. We have a lot of mutual friends so it's not exactly easy to miss. It prompted me to check other social media because I didn't know if FB just unblocks people automatically after a certain amount of time. I don't want anything to do with him and won't block him unless he becomes a problem. Right now I'm getting on with my life and he's getting on with his and I have no issues - so I won't block because that comes across as a bit petty imo after all this time. UNLESS he strikes up conversation or starts snooping
  5. I am happy in my marriage I love my husband to bits! I’m just curious in all honesty with no more behind it. I think if he hadn’t moved so close to my family I wouldn’t be so bothered, I just don’t want him finding ways via social media to see when I’m home etc as he literally lives a street away now. It’s weird to me because it’s such a specific place to move to. I don’t want him to be fixated on me - that’s the point. He made my life hell for nearly 2 years. It’s not a new account either he went through the trouble of unblocking me on all over a period of days (yes I was anxious enou
  6. Hi boltnrun, no that was someone else! The person I'm referring to is from my older posts (2013). I don't talk to that person anymore at all. I found out he'd unblocked me because I still have many mutual friends with him, and while scrolling through my timeline I saw his name pop up a few times where I couldn't before (likes, comments etc). Out of curiousity I checked IG and twitter and yep, unblocked there too. Maybe moving next door to my family wasn't getting anywhere so he needed to check up on me in other ways.
  7. Hi everyone, My ex has suddenly unblocked me on all social media (IG, twitter, FB) after over 5 years NC. I don't know why, and I don't know if he's been snooping - he's in a relationship, but why now? We were together 2 years. 2 very intense years! We broke up badly then I got into another relationship after he messed me around/used me for sex for around a year with the promise that things would be normal again at some point (silly in hindsight I wish I'd stood up for myself). Another weird thing is my family told me he is renting a house the street next to theirs. I don't live there
  8. Thank you all for your replies. It's given me a lot to think about. Wiseman2, I've been renting since I was 18 and have not been in the financial position to put a deposit down. It was near impossible to save £200 a month and house prices just climbed and climbed. When my stepnan passed away, my stepmum used some of her money from the will to give us a deposit. I am not ungreatful for this nor indebited - she made it clear with the solicitor that she had no claim in our home. Dancingfool, thanks for your insight. I don't think I'm making this all about me though as even when things were
  9. First of all I'm so sorry to hear you lost your mum :( I don't see my bio mum much anymore but I'd feel the same if I lost her. Sending hugs. I'm more than happy to hear constructive criticism. At therapy, I'm mostly listened to and told "ah that's sad" with little input so it helps me see things from another perspective and I really respect every opinion I get here - especially as you're all answering a person you've never met with advice. I don't debate with my stepmum but we have very strong views on things. Politics, religion...those are two of the big ones. We're polar opposites. I
  10. Thank you. I've asked to have a chat with him face to face. The ball is in his court if he wants to respond but until then I need to set some boundaries and stick up for myself and my husband regardless - without my dad. They're planning to visit us at the end of the month, I'll put all this good advice to use and be a bit more confident in myself. How she talks to me should be a reflection on her not me and in all honesty, like you pointed out, it's not her that bothers me per se. It's wether or not this will affect the time I get to spend with my dad.
  11. Thank you. I agree completely, he won't tell her to calm down he'd just rather tell me I'm being rude when I do it on his behalf.
  12. Thanks so much for this it's great advice, leaving is exactly what I did at the meal when she started kicking off. I just made my exit and went to stay with my nan who said she did this at every outing - so it's sort of nice to know it's not just me/all in my head. The one on one thing sounds great. I'll suggest that next time I see my dad. I just worry she'll try to stick her fingers in while we're spending time together. My dad went on holiday with his brother last year and she had a breakdown at the airport and, according to my uncle, did not stop calling him.
  13. Thank you all for your replies, I'll be sure to take them all on board! Redswim30, I appreciate what you're saying. No, she is not all bad at all. I do wish I was in the position to buy a house myself but as we were renting for so long I couldn't build up the deposit and both her and my dad knew it was the only chance we had. She and my father gave us the money to help when my nan passed away, from the inheritence, as they are very secure financially. I know I can't change her or her beliefs and don't wish to. But I've been repeatedly given the silent treatment, had remarks said to me w
  14. Thank you, that's what I've been trying to do. I guess next time she demeans me and my husband while out for a meal the best I can say is "sorry you feel like that...I'm gonna order some apple pie if you want it?". Honestly at this point there's nothing else I can do and like you said, she won't change.
  15. I'm not unhappy with my own life, ta very much. Very much the opposite. Though I would like to visit my father at home without an atmosphere, or without her riling us both so much that I have to leave, or her making a sly remark against me for absolutely no reason. That's not my dad's problem, it's personal against me, and since my dad hasn't much of a backbone against her he would rather drive me out than tell her to stop or apologise. My nan and uncle have said the same things and don't go out with them anymore because of this behaviour. EDIT: sorry this is a reply to j.man.
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