Hello,welcome to this precious and salient page.I would like to mention here that this page is for the youth below 30years down but if you are above that age and you are willing to read it ,you still have access to it.You still have the right to send this page to a friend.This page is very important in your life and requires your understanding.Don't quit without reading it to the end.You will understand this page better if you already read any guidance book for youths.
As a youth,You will now be wondering what to do next.You may be thinking of a choice of career in life.Apart from a professional career,you will be wondering what state of life God wants you to be in.All these are normal.It 's a sign that you are growing more and more into maturity.Young people always have to face this problem of choice.For now,the most important thing for you is to be a faithful christian.Show yourself a follower of christ and abide in His Love(John 15:10-11).One way to manifest this is to live a good and discipline sexual life,till christ gives you your rightful partner for a chaste married life or till you feel and you are sure of a call to a life of celibracy or perpetual chastity for celibrate life.Married chastity is fidelity to your one husband or one wife with respect for each other.Celibrate chastity is the unmarried state chosen in the light of chritian faith.This is the chastity all priest and religious women follow.They free themselves from all family cares and all the intimacies of married life.This enable them to exercise a wider love for the salvation of souls,and to be a witness for the kingdom of God.So priest and religious leaders are consecrated by the church to a life of sexual abstinence forever.Many have the notion that a man or woman cannot remain without sexual intercourse.They even believe that it will cause a psychological and physical breakdown.This is not true.It is a typical lie!!!!Human relations and social life do not mean sexual intercourse.
Man is a social being.It is not good for anyone to be alone(Gen.2:18).God's reference to man in this context means both man and woman.Inter-relation between male and female.are required for a normal psychological development.That is why we start life with a father and mother inside marriage to care for us their children and help us to grow properly.Social life starts and it continues in a good home between brothers and sisters,parents and children etc.This atmosphere provides the most wholesome model of good relationship,friendship and psychological and emotional equilibrium.From all this,we can see what harm a broken home can bring to the family and to the society at large.In social life outside the family circle,one cannot avoid men and women mixing and working together,communicating with one another and even being friends of one another.Friendship does not mean that they have to have sexual intercourse.A man and a woman can be close friends without sexual activity of any kind.Friendship mean wishing your friend well and making what sacrifice you can for his or her success,spritually as well as materially.There are twoways of expresssing sex,'physicsl sex 'and 'non-physical sex' or sex and sexuality respectively.Physical sex refers only to the use and exercise of of the male and female reproductive organs.The non-physical refers to all other expression of sexuality betweeen men and women.Our neeed for each other,our inter-relations that complement each other can exist without the physical expression of sex.We only need to observe a person's face build,features,listen to the voiceand watch the manner of walking to detect convincingly whether the person is a man or woman.The twenty-three pairs of chromosones in every cell all over the human body are responsible forthis.The cells of the ovaries and testes have 23 single chromosones.So it is clear that sex involves a person's whole being,not just the genital organs.For a normal psychological development,what we need is the ordinary non-genital association with the opposite sex.Genital intercourse is not necessary at all.
As a young adult,you have reached what is called puberty.The word comes from theLatin 'PUBER'meaning adult.You have now reached the stage of full sexual development(when you can conceive and bear a child)and can be a mother or father.The process takes about two years,between 12th and 14th year in a girl and 13th to 15th year in a boy.Some cases may be delayed or may come earlier by one or two years.There are notable physical,emotional and social changes which affect behaviours as well.I assume you suppose to know many of the changesSo let me not delay time on that.Puberty is very important period in your life,because it is at this time that you take the right and wrong direction.Since you now have some idea and understanding of what is happening inside your body,you will decide which way to follow for your own profit or misfortune.It is nowthat you learn the difference between good and bad advice.So do not let your feeling dominate you.Do not seek only the pleasant things and reject the difficult ones;otherwise you will make your puberty a disaster for yourself.Appreciate the wise and sympathetic guidance of your parents and spiritual director.They arenot being compulsive or unsympathetic dictators.Don't feel alone and unwanted.Go to seek for advice .What is happening to you is very normal.As your body is preparing,so you should preparing spiritually and materially to be able to enter into a sacred bond.You have the power to bring another life now into the worldIt is a sacred duty that calls for extreme carefulness and responsible behaviour.If you are able to say 'no' now until your time is ripe,you will have a very good and happy life in the future.You need a decision making skill to say 'no'to the bad things and yes to the good things.You have to think and weigh the outcomes of youractions.To seek for pleasure without wanting to assume the responsibility that follows it has ruined many young girls and boys.Today,people want honour and fame but refuse to shoulder the responsibility which that honour and fame call for.Irresponsible people will never make good fathers or mothers.There is no way one can have the pleasure of sex without the responsibility.Food keeps the body healthy and supplies it with energy.But it must be good food and well cooked and prepared.You will enjoy it when the right time comes to eat it.In the same way,you must preserve your virginity to keep yourself free from spiritual,moral and physical contamination.Make a choice of a good partner and prepare yourself materially and sacramentally for marriage.Then the consummation will enrich and keep you happy.
DON'T BE DECEIVED
Many are fooled and deceived by uttering false beliefs about injuring their health if they do not have sexual intercourse occasionally.Some believe that a boy or a girl will not develop normally without sexual intercourse.The fact is that the opposite is the truth.One is healthier and looks younger if he or she does not indulge in sexual intercourse.The lose of secretions at intercourse diminishes energy and strenght .One is losing vitality and thereforeeee ages prematurely.Young men and women who avoid pre-marital sexual experience in college concentrate more on their studies and often make much better progress both physically and mentally.It is always good to use concrete facts and not delusions to find out the truth and live by it."The truth will set you free."(John 8:32).
HEALTH AND CHASTITY
If you are observant,you will notice that people who are celibrate and continent look much younger and are more energetic than their age group counterparts.The reason is what is what is stated above.They retain more of their secretions and prolong their life-span.So there is nothing like one becoming sick because of virginity.Rather,one contracts disease more in promiscuity.Many girls have abandon virginity for the so-called cure for painful menses(dysmenorrhoea).Such cure is very far from truth.Those girls themselves will tell you how far from the truth their experience is onemonth later.It has rather made the pain worse.It will be much worse if the unfortunate girl contracts gonorrhoea which is very common result of extra-marital intercourse.For unmarried girls,what relieves dysmenorrhoea is physical exercise.For married women,what cures it is the delivery of the baby.During delivery,the genital organ are stretched and become lax and flat unlike before when they were firm and tight.There are many ways to self-realization.The prelude to this is freedom of choice.Some are called to married life ,some to celibrate life.Those called to dedicate their whole lives to some worthy ideals,such as preaching of the gospel,peace and social justice,will realize themselves as celibrates.It is a special grace which calls for a special sacrifice freely choosen.The freedom of choice is self-satisfying and one finds self-fulfilment in it.The motivation is love for God,his church and humanity at large.Love is one thing that satisfies."God is love"(1 Jn.4:8-9).God is love.Love is not sex,not to talk of permissiveness.Many in history have married without sexual intercourse.Love entails kindness and sacrifice.It is never selfish.Selfish passions can never express true love.True love does not injure,does not diminishand is never thoughtless.
THE RISKs OF PHYSICAL SEX:
1.Veneral diseases,eg.gonorrhoea syphillis,aids.2.Sterity,caused by these diseases or by contraceptive pills taken to avoid pregnancy.3.Conceiving a bastard child.4.Killing,by abortion,with the awful moral and emotional consequences including danger to the mother's life.5.Loss of self-control and sexual irresponsibility.6.Infidelity in marriage and lack of trust.7.Harm to the society by promiscuity,infidelity,divorce and disease.8.Worst of all,seperation from God.How can these known risks be love?To make matter worse,they separate us from God who is love.Ordinary human love does not satisfy and does not last.Only what last can satisfy human heartand yearning.A girl has a great responsibility to say'no'out of true love for her boyfriend.Her kindness for him should prompt her to say this 'no'early enough.It is true love that will enable a girl to make a very strict,unbending rule with a boy and vice versa.
MASTERING OF SELF
If you keep close to God in prayer,His power will strenghten you in all temptations.The power of the holy communion is very great in those who receive it constantly with love and sincerity.Satan feels defeated and runs away.God created all things and placed man over them all and said"Be master"(Gen.1:28-29).If God created and asked us to master the whole creation,certainly we have the power to master ourselves first.Sex problems are a part of the ordinary basic tensions of life.You need to go to someone whom you know will not deceive you.We are all children of God and Christ,our saviour.So we are not our own masters.We need to go to those wise persons working for Christ's kingdom on earth for spiritual direction.
SEX IS GOOD AND SACRED
The Bible tells us that all that God created is good.thereforeeee,sex which is created by God is good.Scripture teaches us that our body is sacred.Since sex is a part of that body,it is sacred too.As something good and sacred,it must be respected and use properly and correctly as intended by God the creator;and that is within marriage.It is only then that it expresses God's will,because true and responsible love between married couples is God's means for continuing the human race.
TEMPTTION AND SELF-CONTROL
Fear is one of the causes of tension and worry.Some people are so scrupulous that they fear temptations,especially with regard to sex.Temptation to do a bad thing is not the same as doing the bad thing.Christ Himself was tempted by satan but he did not fall into sin.Falling into sin delights satan.The devil comes in different ways to tempt you even using people older than you.Remember that when your senior and big people are doing bad things themselves,they feel guilty and unhappy to see young people trying to be good.By their fruits you will know them.Ordinary happy relationship with the opposite sex is what is needed.That is,the type of relationships existing in a good family atmosphere.All you need is to control yourself.It is false teaching to say one should have sexual intercourse to develope one's genital organs.What develop these organs are hormones.The hormones are produced from the substance you eat in various items of food.The body knows where each items has to go.You do not swallow a bone to develop your bone,or swallow a tooth to develop your own teeth;nor do you take somebody's height to add to your own height.No!!! These things develop themselves at their own time.So also,you do not need genital intercourse to develop the genital organs.Sexual intercourse is not taught either.It is very natural.Otherwise,who taught cats,rats and dogs sexual intercourse?Man and animals are the same in this regard.The only difference is that man has the power of self-control,but animals do not have self-control.A man who does not control himself behaves like an animal.Do you know that there were married men and women in history who never had sexual intercourse in their lives.There are even today thousands who are not married and never had sexual intercourse.These men and women are some of the finest people in history.
SELF-CONTROL IS POSSIBLE
Through prayer,you keep close to God.Determine to please God and not to anger Him.Receive the sacraments of confession and holy communion often.Never lie down with an opposite sex.It is foolish to say, I will be careful.Avoid dirty jokes,foolish laughter,and loose language especially with regard to sex.They make you very cheap.For the sake of yourself and society,do not contract veneral disease.It is not alway easy to cure.One sexual act is enough to give you the disease.Avoid indecent pictures and don't keep them in your room.They are satan 's powerful weapons to make you a slave of sex and sin.Do not lower yourself to an animal level.You are a rational being.Animals are irrational beings.
Many have handled this important education wrongly.Sex education starts in the family and involves the whole person,man or woman.As I said before,the actual sexual act is not taught as it is very natural.Sex education means that a man must be educated as a man and assume responsility as a man.The same applies to a woman;each knows what part he/she has to play in the society.For example,men are physically strong and can do heavier works.Women will help in the less heavier ones.So man and woman in this way compliment each other.Take a simple choir of girls and boys.Here both sexes use their voices to complement each other.The girls'voices sweeten the song and the boys 'voices gives weight to it.No matter how deep a girls' voice is ,it can be differentiated from that of a boy.No matter how tiny a boy makes his voice,it will never sound like that of a girl.There is sex differentiation of voices here.We also learn to dress and decorate ourselves according to our sex.
WHY SEX EDUCATION
It enables you to know what is going on in your own body and why.It is also an instruction you have a right to.It you teaches sacred facts about your own development.However,sex education should not be given as if it is the answer to all of life's problem.Knowledge in itself does not motivate a person or give discipline.If you look round,the so-called educated person,may and can be the most indiscipline.Break- ups in marriage are more common among the so-called educated upper classes in the society.The reason is that sensual and marital development is so rapid in these people that the moral and spiritual development is left behind.Yes,personal development causes tensions which may lead to much distress when not sufficiently understood..thereforeeee,everyone has a right to understand his/her own development.Such knowledge and understanding will help one to control one's natural impulses.They help to control sexual powers present in all of us,both men and women.One develops respect for other people,their whole person,body and soul.Without such knowledge and understading,one will fail in this basic christian commitment with harm to oneself,family and society.
False beliefs and half-truths can cause people much suffering in life.Because of this,discovering the facts of life too late can be painful experience.So you should meet well-informed people who have deep human and religious values.The first people to perform the duty of sex education are parents.If they are well educated,they are the best because they have the good of their children at heart more than any other persons.Unfortunately,in most cases,they are not sufficiently well-informed for this task.Some parents do not even know when , how or where to start.The result is that their children are obliged to learn for themselves.Yes,the children do learn,but the wrong things,from the wrong source,and the wrong people.What they learn is often limited to how to avoid pregnancy and veneral disease.The teachers who come next in this important task of sex education think it is the parent's business.The most they do is through biology classes using rats and toads.This is not enough as they do not teach discipline and motivation. Worse still,giving information about biological facts sometimes arouses the children's curiosity.
KNOWLEDGE IS NOT CONTROL
Man is free to search for the truth.In finding it,he can use or abuse it.He can master his sexual desires or become a slave of sex,in which case it derives him to evil acts.It is thereforeeee necessary that sex education should present biological facts and moral valuestodether at the same time.Sexual discipline is an essential part of normal growth towards maturity.Religious,priests,and christian doctors have a very important role to play.There is need to educate people on chastity,respect for the moral order so that chastity triumphs over licentiousness.To do this effectively,the teacher need to be equipped with the right knowledge and understanding.Pope Paul VI in his encyclical "Humanae Vitae" urges all to realise that understanding of sex by younger people will enable them to control and use it properly for God's glory.The catholic Bishops in their statement on abortionand family planning ,1972,said they grow older,children should receive a positive and prudent education in matters relating to sex.
Conscience is a moral faculty which tells us to follow the truth and do what is good and right.It helps us to develop true personal goodness and to avoid evil,lies and the wrongs which surrounds us.When conscience is developing,you begin to work out for yourself what is right or wrong.You know how to make your judgement from past experiences and observation,based on what you were taught by parents,teachers and elders,but more especially,through acquiring a knowledge of God.It is when you go against the directives of true conscience that you are guilty of doing wrong.
You should know when you begin to think,do,or say something which is againstyour conscience,against what you were taught to be right,good and true.You then feel uncomfortable,unpleasant and uneasy.Guilt-feeling arises from a well inferned mind.It leads you to ask questions and think before you act.You make a moral decision and decide on the principles on which you will build yourcharacter.Guilt-feeling is a warning light and a means of avoiding the burden of sin in your life.There canbe bad guilt-feeling arising from ignorance,faise shame,wrong teaching and scrupulousness.Scrupulous persons may be so guilt-conscious that they think everything they do or say is wrong or sinful.Scrupulousness is a faise indicator of guilt-feeling.It avoid scrupulousness,many people go to theother extreme of teaching wrong doctrines to surpress true conscience.Wrong doctrines can leadto loss of all awareness of right and wrong.Nothing matters as long as nobody sees you.You loseall sense of guilt.Guilt is the state of knowing when you have done wrong or have refused to do what is right.Right and true conscience will not allow you to surpress guilt feelings entirely to the extent that you lose all awareness of right and wrong.Rather,it allows your guilt-feelings to be applied to the rights and wrongs of sexual acts in the same way as to all other actions.
RIGHT AND WRONG USE OF SEX:
By now ,you know that genital sex-act transmits life.Because of this sacred function it plays,the use of it is reserve for marriage.This is so because,it is only in marriage that the family unit is specially geared towards the welfare of the new life.Everything God created is good;so also is sex.It is from the way we use it that the abuse comes.Then,it becomes very ugly and scandalous .Take eating and drinking for example.They are good.Christ even attended banquets.He went to the extent of changing water into wine to make sure that the wedding feast is well supplied.But when you use eating and drinking wrongly,you spend all your money and become like a wild beast.Then ,the wrong use of what is good has led you into sin.The same thing applies to sex.When used wrongly,it can be very cruel.The momemtary pleasure you enjoy may cause long-lasting ill-effects on yourself and others.You may have to spend a lot of money to bring your health back to normal again.This happens when the abuse is within or outside marriage.What you are is evident from your words and actions.Your words and actions are based on your thoughts.If you want to discover the type of person you are,study your actions and omissions,watch what you do and say.If you do good or bad,it is the whole person doing it,not just a part of the body.If you steal,it is not only your hand steals but your whole self.You are known as a thief.If you kill,you are know as a murderer.The same thing applies to sex and worse is that you sin against yourself.What you are now is a prostitute.If you keep yourself holy,what you are is a holy person.Do not be fooled by the slogan"everyone is doing it".There are many men and women who are doing their best to discipline themselves and express true love in the right way.Do not go by public opinion but go by Jesus's command.God our Father has already forbidden us to use our bodies wrongly.He wants us to be pure,to be holy as He ,Himself is holy.He went further to tell us in the scripture that our body is the temple of God.thereforeeee,as a temple of God,we have to keep it holy for Him to be with us.Is this not enough reason to keep yourself chaste?
As an adult,you discover that sexual organs give pleasure.You are attracted to a persons of the opposite sex.You will be tempted to masturbation or homosexuality if you do not keep watch.Masturbation is self-stimulation.Homosexuality is having genital sexual relations with someone of the same sex.All these are signs of a perverted personality,a distorted human sexuality and are sinful as well.Parents and teachers should be particularly careful and show more understanding towards their growing children at this delicate and difficult stage in their children's lives.Instead of showing their concern and support,they may add to their children's fears and tensions and drive them to hetro-sexuality,i.e having sexual relations with someone of the opposite sex.Many young people who are scared away by their parents have run into disaster.Out of ignorance,they think that theere is nothing anyone can do to help them.
BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Do not be afraid!!!Watch and pray that you do not fall into temptation.Genuine and true love can exist out sexual intercourse.You have enough srength and grace within you to comtri your sexual desires.There is no need to fear.Show people little acts of kindness and charity out of love for God.The type of love that entails sacrifice is the true christian love .Christ said;"Love your nighnour as yourself as I have loved. ."He wants you to compete with him.Love is great help in overcoming temptations.It is essential for thefull and mature developmant of your person.Are you attracted to a person of the opposite sex?Well,physical beauty and an attractive personality is an attractive personality are gifts from God.Do not stop at your admiration of the creatures ;rather go beyond it to admire the creator of such beauty.In so doing,the creatures leads you to the creator.God is pleased if you admire the work of his hand;and who will not pleased?So be careful that in admiring,you do not spoil or corrupt the object of your admiration and yourself.The devil always destroys what is good.Do not allow him to work on you.Do not be IDLE.It is an opportunity for the devil to work on you.Avoid bad pictures and books that will stimulate evil desires in you.They are the gate-way to hell.Avoid bad company;concentrate on your job,studies,games and hobbies.Do some challenging works of kindness to others,helping your parents at home whether it is convenient or inconvenient for you.Your spirit of faith and love for Jesus makes you grow both loving and lovable in the eyes of the Lord and man and lesson your temptations because you find your satisfaction in Christ.It helps you to share people's joys and sorrows and to be generous in making sacrifices to aid those in need.Seek advice from a good and wise spiritual director.Always be near to God through prayer and sacraments.Christ understands and loves you just as you are.He is the most beautiful and lovable of all men(Ps.44).So hang on to Him till He shows you His will and His plan for your life,either through marriage or through religious life.To sum up;what you can do is to control your thoughts,words,actions and senses,and to keep in touch with God through prayer."With God,all things are possible with God is majority.
THIS POST ANSWERS MOST RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS I HAVE BEEN READING AND PONDERING WHAT COULD BE THE BEST SOLUTION.
Read and pick up the goods in this post.We must all bear witness to the truth.
Thanks for reading. I strongly and posirively hope that this help in your life struggles.
LOVE AND PEACE!!!!!!