Melencholy

I'm sorry things didn't work out. Eight years is a long time to be with someone and of the last three years I was unhappy and I know you were too. I changed so much and you were content on staying the same. I wanted you to fight for us, fight for yourself, show me you had passion and drive. I needed someone to support me, to build me up, to make me feel safe but your negativity just kept me in a place I've been trying to claw out of for years. I know how much you must be hurting because I believe you when you say you still love me. I still love you but it's the loss of a best friend that I'm grieving for. If you think there is someone else, you're wrong. If you think this was easy for me, you're wrong. As I type this I am going on day three of feeling so nauseated you'd think I had the flu. I am doing this because it is not fair to either of us to stay together just because we have no one else. I wish I could turn back the clock to the days when we were first friends and make different choices so that you could still be in my life but it doesn't work that way. I know I've made the right decision, those feelings I had for you are gone; so why do I feel so sick, so tired, so melancholy?