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Anrui

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  1. ....as I sit here wondering and hoping that you are feeling the void that I filled. I keep trying to block you then I unblock you a couple hours later. I hate the fact that I am the one running all over the place right now trying to avoid my own house. I cannot stay in here alone for too long before I find myself back out in the car driving around like some kind of lost soul. Yeah....call it running away...it is, but I cannot stand sitting alone with all of this. It is way bigger than I am right now. If you had doubts - enough to know that you resisted them, why didn't you tell me? Why did this not come out sooner? How much was faked? and right now, no...why should you get all the good parts of me as a "friend" when I got picked up and put behind a barrier with no warning? Obviously there must have been some good about me - to want to salvage that. We had 5 years and even more in friendship before that - they say this could take years. Enjoy my silence - I hope it becomes deafening.
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