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  1. So,... i've been reaching out after 5 months of no contact! just a short email and asking how she is doing,.. nothing more! she replied with a larger email than expected. Weird?! but i think protective, cold and distant. This was her reply to it 1 week after my email. Hi M, Thanks for your msg, I am doing great as in business and private. With the winter near I am getting a bit tired but I will survive. I dont like the cold weather. Tomorrow morning I will have a big interview with 8 managers of the biggest laywer companies of holland and I have to work it out in 3 days. So a great weekend for me I would say. I live togheter now and it goes well. I´ve been on vacation and soon christmas days. So even with these dark days we have some good things ahead. I hope everything is fine with you as well. Regards A. So, seems very straight forward, telling things i didnt really ask tho. But i am happy for her and wish the best and i am glad it did not hurt me at all. I accepted the situation although she replied a bit weird to me don't you think? She is living with her new guy and is happy with him it seems so i am happy for her also. I think i might msg her next monday, give her the space and time also. The best thing i can offer is friendship i guess.
  2. yo there! last night i was out and had a few drinks pfff,... need to recover a bit! Oh yeh i noticed she came online after 8 days! but i didnt send her anything.. even with those drinks lol! I think she must have been on vacation with this new guy and assume they are still together. It is best to move on and let it go, will remove her contact information so i am not able to look further into it and let it go for good! If she ever wants to be part of my life then it is her job to seek contact and not the other way round. Hope you are all doing fine and keep your head up!
  3. you are right about that beenthere2, we try to place them on the good side even with all those negative things they have done. We try to suppress those things and we don't even want to face them. We need to be realistic and think rational. Thats also the reason why I didn't send her any birthday wish because she "forgot" my birthday also. Just so immature and she needs to face it that she lost a nice guy who deserves better. I must say it made me a lot harder and I have become less sensitive which I must say is better and I should thank her for that!
  4. It is never good to say "I love you" in such an early stadium because it can only backfire later on and especially with a LDR because the honeymoonstage is harder to maintain. The butterflies effect wears off after +- 2 months and people will see eachother flaws and the first fights will start for example. People are more apart with a LDR and thus more time to think about stuff instead of really talking with eachother about these issues. They will have those conversation with friends and stuff and most likely they have a bad influence on this. I know it is really hard to move on because I am in the same boat and I also had a LDR for 1 year. I was head over heels about her and suddenly she turned 180 degrees. I kept no contact for 3 months now and yesterday was her birthday but I kept NC up and kept my pride. If she really wants me in her life then she should make contact because she knows how much I love her. Sometimes we need to let go that which we love to reveal their true identity. I also think that if someone tells you " i love you " that early then you do not know the true meaning of love and in their case they can fall in love like a second but also fall out of love in a second and jump on to the next. Some of them suffer from Gigs as you can google which is the grass is greener syndrome and they think they can have always better and re-ignite the feeling about butterflies.
  5. @ butterfly6850 It is not really about what is possitive or what is negative but more what is reality because I can see both possitive and negative things but you already know that but sometimes your emotions gains control and make your goal harder to achieve. There are indeed some strong signs from his side but he should also be able to cut the tires with her if he really wants you. If he would really love you then he would take the effort to have a good conversation with eachother about what you both want. Try to listen to eachother without raising your voices if you really love eachother. Be sure that everything is said and that everything is clear to eachother so you will not run into anything soon. Never jump in right away because then you can only blow things up so you should take it step by step. I think it is good you went into no contact and you should keep it up for a while so that he can think straight and be clear about what he wants because if you continue like this then nothing will happen eventually and you 2 will only create a bigger distance between eachother. Sometimes you need to power up your words because you are not a doormat or waiting for him on the bench! Else you have to say to him that you both should move along because you need 2 to tango and clearly something is bothering him or else things would be different by now (he broke up with her 3 or 4 times so clearly he is in an endless cirlce right now) I do hope you get him back of course because I just lost my ex gf to another guy and I still love her a lot but sometimes you need to let go to see if that person really wants to be part of your life. As they always say " If the person comes back to you then he is yours, if he doesn't then he never was". Just keep your dignity and be true to yourself, he might enjoy both cakes and not make a decision because of that. Sometimes you need to take that cake away in front of their nose so that they need to experience what it is to actually lose it! I certainly think you 2 can be together once again,.. maybe not soon but more likely on the long haul because there are still a lot of issues rising like this. A month seperated and going no contact can do a lot of wonders so maybe you should dive under that radar for a longer period of time if he can't make a decision.
  6. Hey there all! Well today is her bday! but i decided not to sent anything!! I think thats the best option... Somehow i feel better not sending anything as it makes me feel like i am moving forward instead of still letting her know that I want her back... She might think that of course and now she can think why I leave her unknown! She didn't wish me a happy bday at 17th of march but maybe because the breakup was still fresh at 28th of january. 1 week later she said "Oh I forgot your bday, i always forget bdays and left it at that! well that was juts a lie so I am not giving her the credits! If she really wants me then she should come back on her own and then she is mine,.. if she doesn't then she never was mine in the first place. I wish her all the happiness, love and a happy birthday! but not directly!
  7. @ whiteoleanders It could be a rebound or not but thats not at any concern now. Now you first need to heal and to get over him. Often they lie after a break because they do not want to hurt you anymore. Just like my ex gf,... she hide it for me that she was seeing a guy and chatting with him but she did not go further with him while being with me but i didnt know anything. until she broke with me she had a new relationship and it felt like another dagger in my back. Even if they do this we still love them.. it is hard but thats life. First i have to heal also and then either moving on with or without her.. show that you are independent and never show them how hurt you are. Thats the best you can do for now , think about yourself and place yourself on a pedestal.
  8. I know it is hard Ela19. I had a LDR also,.. well she is not living far but still took 45 minutes driving to her city which broke her up... took her to much energy,.. well if a relationship takes to much energy then it is not worth to put more effort in it then the other person is doing! and thus it will break... I still love her deeply no matter what but she chose a different path now. You don't know what the future holds but the best you can do is stay under the radar, life your live and enjoy without them and maybe one day you will hear from them!
  9. I feel you with your answers. I think the same about my situation and my girl. I am asking myself was she in love with me in the first place or was i the rebound for her previous relationship. It was 1 year before our relationship but she had 4 years with this guy and she was seeing him as the father for her unborn kids... she told me that at the start of our dating which is not a good thing to hear of course. Anyway we continued and we got on for 10 months. Only happiness if you ask me but in the back of her mind she was missing something and the LDR did break something in her. She did break my heart and turned 180degrees. I am having the same doubts if she gets back to me,... will she do the same? i know i changed for good,... i became much harder towards other girls and less sensitive. I will watch my back and not open my heart that easily anymore. I felt how torn it was and that will not happen like that again. I gave too much love to her and she took it for granted and she lost her respect for me. Case closed for now since she met a new guy after 2 months and 1 month later living togheter. It was another stab in my heart. I can forgive her but i will never forget it. It is like she doesnt even care for my feelings or how hurt i am. It feels like she is egoistic but hey it is her life and if i really care for her then i should let her pursue her happiness. No contact is what it is but only to break it to wish her a happy bday. Keep up yourself, we arein the same boat
  10. Well tbh I don't want to gain anything. I just want to show I am mature and stand above the distance we created. I just want to be mature and wish her a happy birthday nothing more. Just letting her know that I am not just whipping her out of my life like i don't care about her and that she didnt mean anything to me. It is not about getting her back but i just want to show her that i do not forget her important b-day.
  11. exactly the same here man,.. i am still deciding... it is so damn hard! I need to swallow my pride to sent it. But i am also thinking,... what if i not sent it then it will sent her a msg directly that i am over her and moving on? She didn't sent me a happy birthday back then because the breakup was fresh but thats something different. yes no yes no yes no..
  12. @ Streetbob I think I will sent her a short b-day card and see what happens. Not expecting anything is the best but somehow I think she will react because she is mature and we never left eachother with a fight. Although I will expect her to be with this guy so I will just keep it short and simple. I would lie if I wouldnt love her because that will never vanish completely but I want to show that I evolved and that I can be happy and move on without her. If she chooses him then that is her choice because you can never force people into love. If she is truly happy with this guy then that is great and I wish her the best for the future and maybe we can talk from time to time.
  13. Quite true SteelJM1. Just some side notes, some people do get back together as I told some succes stories from people I know even if they shattered the heart of their lover and they moved on with someone else. They did come back after 1 year for example! Just in most cases they move on because both parties do not want to get back together. You want it to be like it was before but clearly there was something wrong in that situation?! at least for her and so the new relationship should be different so both you and her are happy with eachother. You can only achieve this by evolving and this can only happen when you 2 are apart for some time. Well I don't want to bring up hope and you should just see the relationship as dead and burried. it is gone and the past is the past, a new relationship should start all over but you should never rush in and should not let her know from the start. But I see you rather would like to move on because you are rather affraid she will break your heart again, which is always possible but also in new relationships. A relationship is always a risk as you never know how long it will last and if the person is the one for you and vice versa. Love is never guaranteed, you can swear it at a wedding until dead do us part but even those words could be worthless years later.... Love is a risk, but if you never take the gamble then you will never know the feeling of love. Love can be the greatest thing on earth but it can also hurt like hell...
  14. well you never know for sure but if you never take the gamble then you will never know. I wouldnt callit friends either,.. it will be friends on paper... I am not putting energy in a meeting at her place anyway since it was a LDR anyway. If she wants that then she needs to put some effort in it but I am not jumping for a meeting. All i want to do is wishing her a happy birthday. I honestly don't know what my feeling will do but i am far ahead in this process. Just sending the digital card and she can react if she like or not, besides she can react at the office since her bf will not be there so that will increase the chance instead of sending her a txt msg or phone call. Honestly i am curious how she is doing, not about her relationship but about her job, her health, holiday, home and so on....
  15. I think I will go for it,.,. sometimes you need to take the risk and I want to conquer my own fear and beat it! I even hope she is still happy with this guy and that I can continue with my life after her birthday and speak to her once in a while on friendly terms. No way we would be back together anyway, to much has happened anyway and the relationship is far away in the past!
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