americangurl

I'm not sure if I am in the right forum or not. Sorry, if I'm not and sorry, cause this is very long. I am a bit confused by my ex's actions. We are still friends but I am trying to apply the no contact rule. I have posted about this guy before but let me break it down, and take it back a bit so you can understand. I starting seeing a friend of mine a while back, we had been friends for years and about 3 years ago we almost dated, but life happened and dating we didn't. I didn't see him a lot and when I did it was the friendly hello, good to see ya, how ya been, and so on till we went our separate ways again. Then a period of months went by and I haden't seen him till one night I went out to the club he works at. We spoke and he asked me where I've been and why I haven't called or seen him in so long. I explained that I've been busy and I lost his number years ago. He asked for my number and I gladly gave it to him (I have been attracted to him since the day I met him). Not really expecting it so soon he called 2 days later. I was extatic and asked him to get together with me after I got off work. We went out to a bar for some drinks and after leaving the bar we drove around getting reaccuanted with each other all night. It was wonderful, and we hit it off. He contiued to call and we continued to see each other. He really seemed to like me, he took me to meet all his friends and I even hit it off great with them (which seemed to make him jealous). Eventually, he quit calling so much and I wasn't seeing him hardley at all. So I began hanging out with his friends more when he wasn't there (really upset him). He called me telling me that it didn't look good for him with me hanging out with his buddies when he wasn't around. I told him I would stop and wouldn't go around them without him. But he basically quit calling all together, and never wanted to do anything with me. When we would talk it was friendly chat, so I decided to leave him a lone and figure out what he wants. That's where the no contact rule came in. Then this past weekend I went to the club (he works at) with a bunch of my friends, because that was the place to be everyone was going to be, the best band in town was playing there. I knew he was going to be there, so I wanted to just say hello and not bother him anymore than that. I was there for about a hour before I even aknoleged him being there (after I had a little liquid courage of course). I walked up to him and said "Hello, how have you been?" The first words out of his mouth were how come you haven't called me. I was floored, all I could think to say was "I haven't had nothing to say to you." Sounded rude, but I must admit I'm not real happy with the way he just basically left me hanging. He just gave me a look and said so you've been haning out with such and such. Drilling me like he always did before, (he was very jealous and a little possesive). The guys I was at the club with have been my friends for years and he knows this, they are how I met him. I said yes and turned and walked away. I spoke with him again before leaving the club, just normal stuff and left. My friends and I decided to stop and get some breakfast at the resturant beside the club and we are all sitting there and he walks in. I'm thinking great trying my best to ignore him. I did well, I think, I really didn't say much to him. He sat at the table accross from me and my friends with the other bouncers and bar tenders from the club. But he was turned around talking with my friends most of the time he was there. This was not unusual for him to be talking with my friends like I said they were his friends to (how we met). When we were leaving I thought I'm not going to be that incredibly rude I shook his hand and said "goodbye," his reply was "is that all I get is a handshake?" I just smiled turned around and walked out. I was proud of myself for the simple fact that I had had a significant amount of alcohol, but still held my composure even though I just wanted to tell him how much I missed him and what not. Other than the fact I needed to vent, my question is what does he expect or want? We were not seeing each other very long, and now that we are back to just being friends why does he still drill me on who I'm with? Why did he ask why I haven't called? Why did want more than a handshake when I said goodbye? Anyone's advice could help, but I'd really like to hear what the guys have to say. I want to know why guys can be so confusing.

If this girl is anything like me yes she will remember you, and think of you in the future. If a guy treats a girl good she'll remember, but it doesn't mean she'll come back. She will probably think of you from time to time and wonder why she did what she did (if she hurt you), but (not to upset you) I wouldn't count on her calling or coming back. If it isn't there now it probably won't be there if she did come back, but she will still think of you once in a while. That's just my opinion from personal experiance, everyone is different. I wish you the best of luck!

I have been seeing someone now for about a month. It's not going anywhere and I'm not happy. The problem is he has a few friends that I have gotten to know real well. I know these friends of his are into me and would like to get with me. One in particular is crazy about me. He told me that he fell in love the second he saw me and that I was his soul mate. I have went out with these guys and had such a blast with them (when my guy wasn't around). The guy I have been seeing saw us all together in a resturant and got jealous and told me that it looked bad for me to running around with all these guys while he's not there. I like the guy I'm seeing but he's stringing me along and I'm sick of feeling the way I feel. But now I can't go out to see the other guys because of how he said it looked with everyone. I didn't do anything wrong, but I am attracted to this one guy who I think could really be what I'm looking for. The problem is I'm affraid of how it will affect friendships and what everyone will think of me. I don't want them all to think that I'm just going from one guy to another in a circle of friends. It's not like that at all, I just want feel cared about. If I think I can get that with someone else should I be sceptical. Its not that I want to be serious about anyone it's just I want to get to know them better and stay close to them because they are really nice people and easy to get along with and talk to (except for the guy I'm seeing). I guess what I'm saying is I want these guys to be my good friends too. It will be very strange being around his friends with him there cause I am soon telling him that I just want to be friends with him and nothing else. Should I just stay away from them and move in new directions or pursue something that I think could make me happy?

Hey thanks for your advice PaulB and S4il. I am ignoring his calls and I'm not going to call him back. I will wait for him to come to me. And to answer the age question I am 22 and he is 25. Thanks again!

I have known a guy for about 4 years, about 2 years ago we almost went out, but something happened and we just quit talking. We stayed friends said our hello's and goodbyes when we saw each other and that was about it. After a long period of not seeing him I ran into him where he worked and he ask me where and how I had been. One thing led to another and he got my number again. Two days later he called and we went out. We drove around all night after having a drink at a local bar and talked. We talked about what happened in the past and why we never got together then. He told me that he always was attracted to me but just never pushed it. He said he quit calling back then because I never called him (sounds like something I would, but I can't remember if its true) and that it takes 2 to make something work. It was a great night and it ended in the wee hours of the morning with a sweet kiss. We continued talking on the phone and going out. He took me to his hang outs introduced me to his friends and all seemed to be going great. We were getting along and spending time together. Then all of a sudden about 3 weeks into the relationship he doesn't want to spend time with me. He is always with his friends playing pool. He still calls me and is always wanting to know where I'm at and what I'm doing, but he don't spend any time with me at all. I ask him if he wants to do something he says no. To get his attention I tried hanging out with his friends and that just made him jealous. His friends are great and we all get along good, but he thinks that something is going on behind his back. Nothing was going on but a couple of his friends are attracted to me and he knew it. I didn't do anything wrong, but he told me that it looks bad that I'm hanging around with his friends when he's not around. Now I can't hang out with his friends with or without him cause I don't want him or them to think bad of me. I told him that I wasn't going to sit at home all the time. I also told him that I never see him cause he's always with them. He comes back with oh so you don't want me hanging out with my frineds, I said no I just want to see you sometimes. It didn't help he still won't spend time with me. I haven't spent time with him in 2 weeks now, but if he don't hear from me he's calling wanting to know were I've been going, what I've been doing, and who I'm doing it with. Stupid me lets him get by with this, but he really seems like he likes me when he talks to me. If he thinks I'm mad he gets worried. He was the one who said it takes 2 to make something work so what is he doing? I really want it to work because I really like him. I could really use some advice if anyone has got some to give. I could really use a guys point of view as well.