Steve2usa

It Is Love Chase it, And it Runs away. Try to Possess it, And it Eludes you. Demand it, And it Closes its ears. Long for it, And it Becomes distant. Need it, And it Becomes only Food for the need. Hurt for it, And it Becomes Pain. Be empty without it, And it becomes The object of emptiness. To find it You must Look within. To receive it You must Give it Without expectations Like the flower Gives its scent Asking for Nothing in return.[/b]

I intend to give her all space she needs because I love her and want to respect her. I know I have to work on myself and how I feel in order to ever be able to even have another chance with her or any other. I ask though, am I foolish for the way I feel about her since we only had a 3 month relationship? I had been in love before and it was a longer relationship than this one and I never thought I could love anyone like that again. That was almost 10 years ago and even though I dated several girls I never gave them my heart, But this girl stold it right away. I now believe in Love at first site and and I know deep in my heart this is the girl I want to be with the rest of life, because there was something magical about the way we were. Can you put a time limit on when you really love someone?

Mick, I am new into this situation myself and am just starting the no contact after stumbling a bit. Your situation is touchy, but still remains to give us all hope that we can at least get to a point where she is at least considering the possibilities of working things out. I agree that you must move slowly because she may still be hurt and may just be confused at this point, but at the same time I feel you need to at least aknowledge to her that you read her message and feel the same without pushing the issue to much. Good luck!

Well, I guess I can't win for trying. I did have to talk to her because of the issues about us being sued for damages to the vehicle she hit. I went to her work and waited till she was done and gave her a single yellow rose for friendship and asked her if we could talk, she was bitter and said she told me I could call in a couple of weeks and not a few days (This is a change I know) and was in a hurry and would call me later. She did call later and accused me of being obsesive, I told her I was not and was trying to give her space but that we had issues to talk about. I told her If I thought she did not say to call in a few days that I would not have. I tried to appologize and she told me to stop saying I'm sorry because she's heard it enough. I talked to her about the issues I needed to and she remained bitter throughout the whole conversation, I again told her we needed to exchange each others stuff and she said it could wait she did'nt need to do it right away, I again told her I loved her and her daughter and missed them both, she said she knows and doesn't want to hear it right now so I dropped it. I told her I hope that she could tell me her true feelings someday and that I would not contact her again for a couple weeks and said bye and hung up. I know she is mad, but I cannot figure out what she is so mad about. I screwed up and lost her, but really don't know why anymore because she said I did not say anything mean in my messages (Perhaps it was just to many). Well now I have to play the waiting game, I think I will be ok because I was finnally able to talk to her and tell her how I felt and let her know I am still here and do Love her. I'm not sure if I should make contact with her in a couple of weeks or wait for her to contact me at the end of the month when she said she would repay the money she owes me. I will use this forum to keep my spirit and my hopes alive, because just knowing there are other people who know how I am feeling and are not trying to feel sorry for me like my friends are helps alot. Thank you all for being there.

If you have read my posts here you know that the girl I was seeing left the door somewhat open, by 1. Not taking the chance to tell me she did not love me anymore, instead by saying she did not love me right now. and 2. By telling me I could call in a few days if I wanted to be friends. I know she is hurting and God knows I'm torn up, But letting her go completely would kill me. It's been 4 days and I called her and left her a message, just telling her again how sorry I was for screwing up, asking her how she was doing and finnally getting to wish her a happy new year. I also keyed on a few points of how I felt about her and how I understand how things got to this point. I was not mushy, nor did I act like I was trying to pressure her or convince her to do something she may not be comfortable with. I now only have the hope that she will listen to the message and not just delete it and respond and open a line of communication. I know she can be the type to hide emotions and run away from problems, but I can still hope. Thanks for the 10 tips and I agree that it can work.

I appreciate the advice and I wish that there were not other reasons not to contact her. I did not mention that I still have some of her stuff and she has some of mine, so contact is somewhat unavoidable there, (Unless a third party is used). She also borrowed some money and I do believe she will repay it because it's not her character to screw somebody even though she's hurting. And lastely, the biggie, I mentioned the accident, I have until Jan. 10th to contact the lawyer of the other driver that she hit to settle the matter out of court. He wants 3500.00 and I was the one who was in contact with guy and never mentioned it her. My friends think I'm nuts if I don't let him sue me and make sure her name is on the lawsuit since she was the one at fault (Partly mine for not having insurance paid up on time and partly hers for not having insurance at all). She does not have the money to pay that and is a single mom to boot, I know it would kill her and would probably be the end of any chance of reconciling. I know I have to make this contact, but I promise you all, I will keep it short and to the point of the neccessity and not go begging on my hands and knees like a buffoon and lose anymore dignity than I already have. I will let everyone know what happens. THANK YOU ALL>

Even though she was the one who said I could call her in a few days?

Let me add that during the last couple days we were together I got really drunk and called her several times trying to get in touch with her. I even used other peoples phones so she might think it was someone else. I know I really screwed up when I went to her place and knocked on her door and window trying anything to get her attention and at least aknowledge my existence. I went home in despair and called her one last time that night and don't remember all of what i said in the message I left, but fear I may have said some hurtful things. I left her a card on her windshield at work appologizing for my behavior and told I just needed to talk. Another day without hearing from her came and went. The next day I had to go to a job that was two blocks from the gas station she works at and stopped for gas and coffee and popped my head in to just say hi. She became very irratated by this and that was the last time we spoke before she came over later that night and broke up. I have been trying very hard not to contact her at all since then and thought I would die on New Years Eve, but managed to stay strong. I really want to call her because she said I could, but I know I will only get her voicemail again. Should I leave her a message and try to calmly explain how I felt about all that was happening and let her know I realize that she needs time, and I am willing to be her friend because I feel that is at least a step closer to not having her in my life. I have some things of hers to return to her and she still has a couple of mine, should I ask her to meet for lunch and exchange these things if I promise not to talk about the relationship or get mushy and keep it short.

Morrigan, thank you for providing me with this space to find hope and help. First, a question, how long do I wait during the no contact phase? Second, the story... I'm 37 years old and had been dating the most beatiful girl for the last 3 months. The relationship was perfect (even though she was only 23) in fact maybe some would say to perfect. She has a 3 year old daughter whom I love very much and always tried to treat as I would one of my own. 3 weeks ago she dropped me off for work and then got into an accident. I can still hear the sorrow and anguish in her voice from the phone call. I was only concerned about her and her daughters welfare and not my damaged truck. However, I failed her because I had forgotten to pay the insurance and she was fined for driving without it. I felt really bad about it and paid off all of her fines. But from the moment of impact of that accident it started a chain of events that leads me to writing this letter. She became distant and I guess I became overbearing and insecure. We did spend a little time together here and there and sometimes they were ok, but never like it was. I even violated her trust in me once while watching her daughter and nosed around here computer. Just old pics she had and I felt obliged to tell her what I had done (Big mistake). Christmas came and went and we spent it separately because she wanted to, but we did exchange gifts which she nitpicked about. Well over the last 4 or 5 days I tried hard to tell her how sorry I was and how much I cared and god yes, still care and how I want nothing more than to make her happy like we once were. I guess I was calling and telling her that to much though and she just seemed to pull farther away although she did say she loved me, but still did not call or talk to me. Last night she finnally came over and got her stuff from my house and asked if I had the reciepts for the gifts and not the gift return reciept, I Love her and would give her anything so of course I gave her these because I bought her that stuff from love. I asked her if it was over and she said yes, I asked her if there was any chance and she said no, I asked her if she loved me and she said not right now. She said I could call her in a few days if I wanted to be friends. An hour after she left and I wiped away my tears I found a letter she had left that was somewhat hurtful and not in character with what I know about her. Should I call her in a few days? Does she really mean the hurtful things she said or was she trying to make it better for herself? I know she cares, but how do I get her to care? From this does it sound like there is any hope left at all? And for the record guys (and girls) even when you get older it still hurts alot, I love this girl with all my heart and soul and would do anything I had to.