MichaelD

Thanks so much for this and all your other posts superdave, your advice helped me not only get through the past two weeks but also help me get back with my ex. Not contacting her gave her the space she needed, and ultimately she reached out to me when she was ready. Hopefully we had both learned from this and worked on ourselves enough to make it work this time!

Day 2 NC Day 9 NIC The fact that you wrote to say you are still alone working things out in your brain, but still want to talk eventually, and then said how really really really really sorry you were made not contacting you so easy - for one day. At first I felt I had finally some dignity and power again - i responded politely to the first saying space and time was good for both of us, and I didn't respond to your profusive apology, which I took only as you feeling guilty. Now it's been 2 days, and now that I know you're at least thinking of me in some way, and haven't rebounded over to the OG, it's becoming so hard to wait for you to get back to me. Are you having second thoughts or just feeling guilty? Did my non-response come accross as cold and angry? Would that stop you from contacting me again? I know that it won't stop you - that if you decide you want this again then nothing I haven't done will stop you. If me leaving you alone for another few weeks will cause you to get over me, then I know it wouldn't have been worth saving... But still, I want you to know that I forgive you. I understand what happened. I still want you back...

I'm doing it because she needs it. And Im doing it because I need it. Even though I have thoroughly convinced myself (however ill-fated it may be) that she will come back, and it will ultimately be MY decision whether or not I want to try again, if she never reaches out again I will be better for this time. Every time I even looked at her friend's Facebook site I was sent deeper into despair. Not contacting her is helping me move on in the likely event that we never reconcile. DAY 8 NIC DAY 1 NC

Ex just texted me after 7 days NC. (only 9 days since BU) not sure what to say... She texted just to say she hasn't dropped off the face of the planet, she's just taking time to figure out her brain alone right now. She knows I want to talk and she does too at some point. She knows I want to talk since the last communication I had with her a week ago was asking to talk. She said she needed space and time away and I haven't contacted her since. It was an amicable BU, I love you but not in love sort. I wrote extensively on it in an earlier post. I'm thinking of just saying: "take all the time you need, . * Some space and time is a good thing here." Thoughts? She needed space, and that's a lot of why she ended it. I've resisted breaks in the recent past. She likes it when im strong and not needy. I think it's really important for me to stay firm here but kind. She's been very good to me during this.

Day 7. I've gone from being glad she's gone last night to desperately wanted her to call today. She's all I can think about, everything else has had the volume turned down. I am falling into all the usual symptoms - assuming she's just confused, she'll realize she's made a mistake, that it'll eventually be me that will get to have the power to turn her down if I want. Whereas the likely reality is that she's thinking clearly, won't change her mind (at least for months or years), and that it will remain her that will have the control over our reconciliation, and all I can do is do nothing, and move on. I'm worried I'll start to trick myself into calling her- thinking since I initiated the NC, she could at home dying to call, but thinking I'm mad or that I don't want to hear from her...

Day 6! This is my first post, but have been in strict NC since monday when i broke down and texted. BU was a week ago friday. The hardest has been to not check facebook - she isn't even on it, but i am dying for just a crumb of information from her friends or co-workers. Information i don't even want to know about - i need time before i could handle any bad news. Sad. After a long weekend - it was so beautiful out, all i could think of was all of the fun things we had planned for these first days of summer weather - i am in a better place. I am starting to see some faults in her - for the past week she has remained utterly perfect. I hold my share of the responsiblity for the BU, but it was her doing - I love you but am not in love... I am actually starting to see some of my own actions in previous breakups where i was the dumper and see how they must have felt.... a cold honest look at my own faults and tendencies might make me thank her for this. ...someday...