This is one of my poems that I wrote about my childhood sexual abuse. I hope that someone will read it and know that they don't suffer alone. Writing my feelings down seems to help through the darkest days in which I still have many of. So here goes.
I was just an innocent child when the worst of my life began,
My parents took me where they thought I was safe as I fell victim to my own kin.
A loving grandmother who worshiped me and cuddled with me each night,
Did not know that monsters would sneak in and force me to leave her side.
They took me away in another room where there I became of their use,
And I was just an innocent child, learning to suffer from years of abuse.
They threatened me by saying that if I told, bad things would come my way,
Like never seeing my grandmother again so I had to say okay.
She was the one I thought loved me the most and was my keeper right from the start,
So I had to endure the pain I was in to make sure not to break her heart.
I can remember the fear inside of her catching them as they lured me away without denial,
I tried to be quiet as they entered each night and touched the foot of this innocent child.
Now I'm an adult but robbed of so much, like the knowledge of love that one should know,
For me it's like a roller coaster ride, it goes up and falls below.
I let people get close to me but there's a wall that won't come down and stay,
Which has made me struggle with falling a victim to most everyone that comes my way.
They took away my ability to be assertive and lowered my self esteem,
But as I still fight, I will find the might to let go of those awful things.
My road has been rocky but I'm still a Survivor and now the must fight the war,
My need for recovery will continue I know but I'm not the Innocent child no more.
