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Beec

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Everything posted by Beec

  1. Beec
    Well, first of all, your question about why would someone talk to a woman halway accross the country who was ill is off base. That question could be asked by most people, but not by a woman in love with a man on deathrow. Because I would think the same answer might apply. Second, this man was seemingly told he could only have so much of you. Why should he settle for that? Why should he not seek other women else where? If he was going to however he should not have told you that you were exclusive, or told you tht he no longer was going to be. That's being a coward. I think figuring out what is going on in Bob's head is not going to be easy and would require investigation. But it seems really as if he was not getting all he wanted from his relationship with you. And in such cases, let him go.
  2. Beec
    Maybe, you should try something else. The light kisses and all are great for some women, but others that I know, while happy with tender loving at times, really want a man who has some fire and passion in him and who will just grab her and kiss her like he is trying to suck the air from her lungs. Next time you see her, try it when you are about to leave for the night. Grab her, kiss her ahrd, then stop and nod and say good night, then leave. It works, for some.
  3. Beec
    How she feels should not change how he feels. However, if she tellshim about these feelings before he really knows that he wants her, then she is way too available and the whole "we want what we cannot have" influence gets turned on its head. In that case, he would beable to have her as, when and if he wants. Likely to make him want her less. Don't tell him how you feel. Work on how he feels.
  4. Beec
    You have it all wrong. If you get angry and pout that she ahs gone, then you are telling ehr she can come back. If you appear as if your feelings for her may be disappearing, then she gets the message that she might not still be able to have you and will hurry back. Which is she doing to you? How is that making you feel?
  5. Beec
    Yes, you act as if you do not have all those feelings. You act friendly, but not affected.
  6. Beec
    First, DO NOT TELL HIM. Telling him will not make him want you, and it may have quite the opposite effect. You want him to want you as more than just a friend or a sex partner, and then once he can admit to that a bit, then you can move forward. The position you are in however is very tough. In order to get him to want you in that way, he needs to change how he fels, and that will probably only happen with some change in something else. In this case, your choices are twofold, and both operate off of the principal of we want what we cannot have. In this case, the two cards you can play is to let him think that he either might lose you altogether or that he is losing your emotions. In the first case, it would possibly be because someone else is there for you or because you jsut don't want it anymore. In the second case, you continue doing some things, but you seem like you are just using him a bit. I have seem occasions like this where the woman has gone to the man, jumped him, had sex, and got up to walk out telling him that if he is good he may be lucky and get more soon. this would leave out the all night cuddling though.
  7. Beec
    I have friend who worked at home doing medical transcriptions for a while. I also know that some of the home-based businesses can make someone money.
  8. Beec
    Well, I think you asking her again is the exact wrong thing. You asking her is all about youw anting her back, because of you wanting her back. That's about how you feel. If you really want her back, then you should work on things that will make her want to come back. A little basic blurb on why we go for those we go for: we go for those people who give us emotional fulfillment, make us feel special, while remaining aloof and independent. By aloof I do not mean indifferent, jsut that you are not influenced by what they do and say, things they do are of no bother to you emotionally. So, you need to remain independent from her, a bit aloof, but also pay attention to her when you see her, a bit. When you see her, perhaps at first you seem to not notice her, and then when she is seeking your attention, you give it to her for a few minutes, then stop, say you need to go somewhere. That is the kind of exchange in theory that leaves ehr wanting more of you, not you giving her as much of your attention as she can handle and then some. You should appear as if you are not worried about thisother guy, and if give the chance, go flirt with some other girl. This will get her thinking you might not be available for her unless she comes to get you.
  9. Beec
    It sounds to me like you need to tell her "I need some time away from you, because I don't like you very much for trying to play me." And then get some NC with her. It seems that she really had a bit going on with her emotions. So, I can somewhat see her changing feelings, but that's not a real excuse for playing. Hang in there. It will get better.
  10. Beec
    Now, you try and forgive him. And move past this. He made a mistake and admitted it. It should be done with.
  11. Beec
    Thinking marriage is forver is the onyl healthy way to think of a marriage. A long term relationship is real work and effort. If you can just get out of it, it's not really a marriage.
  12. Beec
    Well, it is pretty easy to do when you live in a place like New York City. I would begin by seeing a woman on a weeknight. Then once I saw her and she was good enough to date again, there would be really no contact for about a week before I asked her out again. I did not let her expect one date led to another right away. Caller ID kept my knowing who I spoke to, and when she was good enough to see for a third time, she was eligible for a weekend night. I could juggle 2-4 at any one time, more than that was too many. When I was in high school, fwiw, I dated women at different schools, which worked pretty well to keep them separated. But dating more than 2 was really hard, although easier in summer.
  13. Beec
    Welcome to enotalone. I never did the character acting bit, but I spent a bunch of time at sea and on ships, not passenger ships, but commercial ones. I knew some guys who were in a similar position, who hardly ever got off. And while it kills me a bit, I switched to the desk. I think the things is to keep trying somethings until you find one that works for you. Temporary jobs might be the exposure you need to something. And if you really want to do animation, watch plenty of Tex Avery cartoons.
  14. Beec
    I think this was good practice and it went well. When I was single and freshly out of a relationship, I sometimes found confidence lacking. It helped me to get more confident by going out on dates with increasingly attractive, to me, women. I was one to date a few at once, and I would weed some out and the numbers down until I had one that I wanted to be with. Keep it up.
  15. Beec
    Someone who dumps someone else had the feelings turned off before the dumping. We go for people who meet our emotional needs and wants, while remaining independent. If someone is not meeting your needs, then after a while you dump them. The feelings are gone, which is why the dumping occurs. They don't disappear afterward.
  16. Beec
    OK, let's you sit him down and you simply tell him how things are going to be: 1. Agree to try some dating, if he wants, but give no promises as to how long it will go on; 2. Let him know that when and if he is your boyfriend he has to do, and have a list A, B, C & D; 3. Any screw ups, he leaves you alone. In other words, back up to as if you were jsut beginning dating again and make him earn his way back into your good graces.
  17. Beec
    I think Dako is right, but I would also tell you that you may and perhaps should think about telling your mother that your husband anf you are a team, and that she needs to pick if she wants you both in your life or not. Because if she does, then she has to at least treat him civilly. If you do this before or after the wedding is your choice, but as a married couple, you need to fight with and for him sometimes, and he will lvoe you the more for it.
  18. Beec
    I read a few of your recent posts. And it would be great if you didn't do this anymore, but controlling how you feel is often difficult, if not impossible. I did really like your recent post when you seemed to have determination. Yous eemed to be determined that no one who has hurt you was going to ever hold you down. I hope you find that again. Hang in there. Keep fighting with determination.
  19. Beec
    It seems from your description that when he gets to walk all over or bribe you, he does not want you. And that when you stand up for yourself, he wants you more than ever. If you do get back with him, then remember that. I think this is tough to get back and put things on a new course, but if you get back with him you need to. He needs to know what is expected of him, and respect needs to be a big word.
  20. Beec
    I am kind of with Batya on this. If this is really a boss influencing him, what kind of character does he have, and also, how far will this go. And frankly, the missing all Saturday night to Sunday night tells me that something stinks in his area. You usually don't go missing that long from people who care about you, and respond to the boss, unless you are up to something.
  21. Beec
    I sit at a desk and push paper for lawsuits can tell you I've integrated things for cases. If you get a tutor, try to find someone that really struggled with the class and then got it. I struggled with trig for years, even after I had gotten an A in Calc II and an A or A- in Calc III. Then when I was helping a friend with something I got I saw him using SOH-CAH-TOA, and had no clue as to what it was. A bunch of math after trig, I finally had someone I was helping so me what it was all about. My trig teacher in high school was terrible, and I got lost. Integration is really a fancy way of finding changes in sums, whether they be areas, volumes, or whatever.
  22. Beec
    I see no shame in dropping a class, but if your parents (or someone else) are paying for college, talk to them first. Dropping is better than failing. If Calc II is dragging you down, it sounds like a summer class subject to me, so you can learn it with little other competition for study time.
  23. Beec
    It might, it depends on the guy. For some of me now, it's not an option but it might if I were single. If I were single and had not had any sex in a while, nothing would turn me off. I'd be there with the candles waiting. Otherwise, you are really undermining the "we want what we cannot have principle." And since you are not single, I'd run like heck away. Work on your marriage.
  24. Beec
    First welcome to enotalone, stick around. Whether you contact her or not should really depend on how you can handle such contact. You'll find man advocates on this forum that will tell you to have no contact with an ex. I'm for that when a person needs to have some space from the ex in order to let the hurts heal and let them be able to get some emotional control. If you see the ex and explode in anger, beg and plead for them to come back to you or have any emotional display, then you are usually making a mistake. If you can have contact with her and nto be emotional, and when you have just had it and not gotten a very positive response, you won't go into a big tailspin and feel gutted again, then I'd think about what you suggest. As far as how to do it, I think a simple message or call seeing how she is is the way to go. If given the choice, I prefer the call, but that requires mre control from the person calling. Good luck.
  25. Beec
    I reconcield once with an ex after not speaking for some months. We broke up in May or June and did not speak until October. We spoke occasionally for some the next few months, then began getting back together on New Years' Eve. We only remained together until October again, but we did try to make it work for quite a while. I have not seen her for a few years, spoken to her in the past three years or communciated at all for over a year. However, I am committed to another woman, but know I still wonder how she is and care about her. I think she feels the same about me.
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