Unlucky2011

Its day 4, so I miss you and I love you. I'm wondering what you are doing which will do me no good, I know. Hope your happy with your new path and whoever you are trying to find on link removed. You failed, I failed, I honestly thought we could get through anything, I was wrong.

Day 4..... Saw a friend last night and was angry, today just feel sad again... Out buying things (food and drink Xmas) that I normally would have shared with ex, difficult day.... I'm not going to break no contact over Christmas, no point. Well done everyone on here, just wanna get christmas out the way, how bad is that!

Day 3... ...of no contact, yes it's difficult, thankfully have few things on today to keep me busy, including trip to my therapist since I know I need to talk to someone. Just miss having him round the house, the odd text that I used to get which still made my heart race after 9 years but I know I have to stop thinking about that. I think it's worse because it's Christmas, I used to buy him loads of presents because I know preme he thought Christmas sucked and I was always the excitable one even though I am a grown adult, worse this year since it's also the first one without my dad who died 6 months ago. I know no contact is the way forwards, some days just easier than others and today not a good day.

Day 2 Ok, feeling a bit better...at the moment and keeping myself busy...I have tidied and cleaned every cupboard in my kitchen (must be bad) and now going for a run, have to say I keep thinking about the crippling email he sent me and that is what is stopping me from contacting him. Something happened this morning and I had an overwhelming urge to share it with him but thought better... No contact is all about willpower to me and I know I have loads of that when I out my mind to it so must keep going. Just avoiding shops and anything christmasy, I know avoidance hey!

Day 1 Wicked that this thread is still going... Ok so Day 1 of no contact & finding it very bloody hard. Had horrible email from him yesterday as well because I pushed so no contact is definitely the way forward even though it's painful, buy hey more painful to send a text or phone, get no response and then feel crap for no response and stupid for chasing!! Only problem is next Thursday because it's his birthday and I think he is depressed and want to send just normal card in post to say "thinking of you, send birthday wishes" - bad idea right?