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windsurfchick

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  1. It is a reflection on me, it keeps happening. I'm totally unlovable. And also it's not like he's been lying about it. Every time he told me he doesn't love me I could have left but I didn't because I don't want to be alone either. How weak and pathetic is that.
  2. Well that's pretty hard to hear, but I appreciate you replying (and you too Furbys!). Can a person really fake their way through like that, I mean, it's been a year! That's a long time to live a lie isn't it? So they just carry on playing out their little act til they get bored or someone else comes along? Great, I get screwed over again. Why the hell does anyone ever get into relationships any way, it's just a daily reminder that you're worthless.
  3. Yes it definitely should be. Relationships are so hard to figure out! This one acts like he loves me but says he doesn't, my last guy said he loved me but acted like he didn't. Maybe they're both wrong, or maybe the words aren't as important as how you are being treated? I guess because I really don't want to lose him I'm trying to find a way I can make it feel ok.
  4. Yeah, I hear you, my heart breaks a bit every time I think about it. If he wasn't treating me so well it wouldn't even be a question in my mind. But he's so good to me and I've never had that before, I feel like I need to be really sure if I'm going to break it off. My relationships in the past have consisted of serial cheaters, liars and guys who just got bored and checked out, so to be with someone like this is a big deal for me. I've had a lot of the guys I've dated tell me that they didn't get excited about me or feel that *spark* with me, but that I'm a nice person etc. Maybe I'm just not the kind of girl who guys can fall head over heels for, maybe I should aim lower?
  5. I've been dating a lovely guy for a year now, we even moved in together 6 weeks ago. He's kind and considerate, we look after each other when one of us is sick, we laugh and joke, occasionally fight but never go to bed angry with each other - We have a great relationship, that I don't want to lose. But whenever we talk about how we feel about each other he tells me that, while he cares for me deeply, he doesn't feel any love for me. I can't get my head around it, as far as I'm concerned he acts like he loves me, looks at me with that shiny sparkle in his eyes, everything about us as a couple says to me there's love there. But he says he doesn't feel it. He says that what he considers love is an intense feeling like you can't live without that person, but the way he described it to me, it just sounded like he was describing teenage infatuation. The last person he says he loved was back when he was about 19 (we're both 28). For me personally I feel like I love in a totally different way now than I did as a teenager or my early 20's, I want to figure out a way to say to him I think he should consider that maybe he doesn't understand what real love is without patronising him. The other day I asked him to tell me how he felt about me and he said he's happy when we're together, he loves cuddling up on the sofa with me after work, that our place we've just moved into feels like a proper home with me and that he wants to take care of me and treat me how a man should treat a woman. He also said that I challenge him to think about things in different ways some times, and that sometimes he doesn't like that I can be a bit bitter about my past (which I accept must be difficult for him). My question is this - do I stay with him when there's a likelihood he'll never love me, or do I do the painful thing and end it? It's really hard, because aside from the love thing it's the healthiest most honest relationship I've been in, and it's going to be incredibly difficult to throw that away. But I have a history of making the wrong call. I don't want to end up 30 and alone, but I guess there's no knowing what the future holds even when they say they love you...
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